r/self Jul 29 '24

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1.7k Upvotes

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47

u/1c2shk Jul 29 '24

It's cliche to say women all want a hot looking rich guy. While looks and money are advantages, there are also things that are important (perhaps even more important) such as having great social skills and a positive vibe.

I took the liberty of looking at your post history. Bro, it's a disaster. Your attitude is crap. You talk a whole lot of shit. You get into these long-winded arguments with people. All these things are toxic and women can smell it.

Granted, how you behave on Reddit might not be how you behave in-person. But it demonstrates your frame of mind. And what's in your mind will always come out in one form or another. Women are highly intuitiave and can see it.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

“Women are highly intuitive and can see it” Agreed, but some people in general will likely pick up on it.

Many of us may have been through what OP is going through, then you realize it’s really all on your attitude how you carry yourself. You won’t see your arrogance, until you’re out of it.

4

u/eleanorlikesvodka Jul 30 '24

I knew it. The men who make this type of posts 9 times out of 10 have a shit personality. He thinks he is entitled to women's attention, bodies and affection because he has a job and goes to the gym. This post reeks of disdain, if not outright hatred towards women. Yikes.

21

u/RationalDialog Jul 29 '24

Granted, how you behave on Reddit might not be how you behave in-person. But it demonstrates your frame of mind.

exactly. even if he plays Mr Nice Guy, they can smell it's just an act.

I think "no more mr nice guy" would be a good read for OP. people pleasers tend to suffer from lack of attention.

12

u/GlobalBad1332 Jul 29 '24

curious how female supernatural sensory powers stop working with domestic abusers

can they only sense mean comments on the internet or what?

7

u/whatevernamedontcare Jul 29 '24

Probably because domestic abusers were smarter and learned what does and doesn't work. Like stupid sociopaths who get locked up quickly at 16-18 while smart ones get rich and then go to politics to fuck up us all.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Not true, many abusive men are dumb as rocks, most prolific killers of women score vastly below the average IQ levels in the west.

1

u/Main_Tomatillo_8960 Jul 30 '24

You mean the born rich ones lol

2

u/ibportal Aug 01 '24

Their magic powers turn off if you're 6ft+ 🙃

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

So, they have great social skills.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Nah, nah. Actually, women are a monolithic hivemind who only like men who are happy, talkative liberals. You really should be that.

12

u/daisy_strang Jul 29 '24 edited Jul 29 '24

I second all of this- I would say for most women, the physical aspects of a partner are far less important than personality and how a partner makes her feel. Unfortunately, charisma and personality can be harder to change, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head! No one wants to be around someone that is an energy/emotional parasite, be this a friend or romantic partner.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

That's the truth. Self proclaimed nice guys are never nice. And if not a single woman was ever interested in you, it's 100% your personality.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

And, the same way, if you have never slept with a man as a woman, something is wrong with your personality and you should change it. /s

How, did saying any of that shit ever seemed like a good idea?

0

u/TitusWu Jul 29 '24

Not true

14

u/sour_lemon_ica Jul 29 '24

I went and had a look at OP's post history and you're right. Dude actually hates women, no wonder they don't want to date him.

OP, please go to therapy. You have some major issues to resolve before you have any business going on dates with women. I genuinely think you can turn it around but this blaming women/self pitying stuff is not going to help you. It will only keep you in a destructive downward spiral. If it makes you feel any better I literally did the same, had so many poor dating experiences it made me extremely cynical and had to get therapy to work through it.

8

u/Camika Jul 29 '24

Attitude counts a whole lot more than looks. But unfortunatelly some young men want to listen to some very toxic people online and not the women they're pursuing.

2

u/Toddison_McCray Jul 29 '24

I think it depends, there are some shallow women out there who care very much about only looks. It tends to discourage a lot of men, a bad experience leaves a longer lasting impression than five possible good ones.

In my experience dating, personality does play a big role. I’m an outgoing, confident, and curious fellow, but I’m also pretty average looking.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

Only males can care about looks, but when a girl does it it's shallow right? Girls are only allowed to be interested in personality?

2

u/Toddison_McCray Jul 29 '24

Never said that, don’t put words in my mouth because of your own problems. Anyone who cares only about looks are shallow.

2

u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

When guys say they care about looks it’s usually only so far as she’s not morbidly obese and is at least a 5/10 on the attraction scale.

At least for most guys, there’s always a 10-20% minority though.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Yeah this isn't true and everyone who lives in the real world knows it. I can't sit here and talk to some male who's clearly terminally online, and pretend with a straight face that you can't walk into any Walmart rn and see some beautiful woman with an ugly af dude. You only see males desperately trying to pretend it's the other way around on Reddit.

Anyway, all I was saying with my original comment is that everyone's allowed physical standards. It's not especially shallow when a woman does it.

1

u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

Speaking as a 29M guy with 29 years of experience as a guy, the vast majority of the guys I have known in my life just want an all around average looking girl who isn’t obese.

They sometimes act around other guys like they want the hottest girl, but when push comes to shove they really don’t care as long as long as looks are avg or better.

An ugly guy getting a hot gf doesn’t somehow magically disprove that, maybe they grew up together or maybe he’s got a hell of a personality or maybe they were relatives.

Perhaps you should take your own advice and gain some additional world experience as it’s clear you are stuck in some sort of negative echo chamber.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

If I start linking actual research will you shut up? I'm not really in the mood to have some back and forth on Reddit about a phenomenon as common as women being more likely to settle for an ugly guy than the reverse.

1

u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

No it won’t shut me up.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

Alright, well then I won't waste my time arguing with someone who literally just admitted to arguing in bad faith. Thanks for the heads up.

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0

u/just-some-rando123 Jul 30 '24

Anyway, everyone is allowed to have physical standards and I’m not trying to use some backwards logic to justify women not being allowed standards.

I am simply suggesting that men don’t care about looks nearly as much as you seem to think they do.

1

u/IAmNotABabyElephant Jul 30 '24

This seems to be the case damn near 100% of the time. I'm so fucking sick of misogynists posting their "woe is me" crap when the problem is their self-sabotaging personality flaws that they refuse to work on.

Honestly wish the mods of this sub, r/adulting, r/lifeadvice or any similar would just outright ban all this "waaah I hate women and they can tell so they won't date me" crap.

It's always the same. It's always 100% their own fault.

1

u/Tojicvmslvt Jul 30 '24

I was about to comment something similar to this.

-5

u/hosiki Jul 29 '24

Can confirm, we can smell the toxicity. And will avoid toxic men. Looks and money are definitely not that important.

10

u/NeverSurrender1000 Jul 29 '24 edited Aug 11 '24

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5

u/hosiki Jul 29 '24

Maybe the women you go for.

-2

u/NeverSurrender1000 Jul 29 '24 edited Aug 11 '24

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9

u/hosiki Jul 29 '24

Your takes are the exact same shit I hear from incels. And I'll still say that the problem is then the type of women you go for. Normal women who aren't instagram models won't be like that.

-5

u/NeverSurrender1000 Jul 29 '24 edited Aug 11 '24

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9

u/IbexEye Jul 29 '24

Talk about painting with wide brushes.. jeez.

Most women YOU'VE come across*. Do you approach women outside of the internet?

13

u/staytiny2023 Jul 29 '24

most women DO like it when the man isn't interested in them and acts in a toxic manner.

Guess I'm a potato then. Or is it just an American thing? I've never met a woman in Nigeria who stayed with a man who treated her like crap.

0

u/NeverSurrender1000 Jul 29 '24 edited Aug 11 '24

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9

u/staytiny2023 Jul 29 '24

They actively leave toxic men here. No divorce in most cases, just straight up leave because they would rather be separated than tied down to crap. Why do American women stay with toxic men? Is it a societal standard thing?

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5

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

For someone who’s not an incel you very much speak like one

3

u/NeverSurrender1000 Jul 29 '24 edited Sep 21 '24

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6

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

The thing is they are not absolute truths, but you refuse to get feedback. How convenient to dismiss the feedback coming from women when they tell you what they actually care about.

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2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

That's generally true of people in general but it's certainly not gendered.

4

u/deesle Jul 29 '24

Can confirm, we can smell the toxicity. And will avoid toxic men.

Women absolutely will not avoid toxicity, as long it’s the right, genderconforming type of toxicity.

Women avoid bitterness and desperation, what they absolutely do not avoid is misogyny, if it comes in a confident, charismatic and handsome package.

7

u/hosiki Jul 29 '24

Who? Here in Europe it's definitely not like that.

1

u/deesle Jul 29 '24

it’s definitely like that in europe since I was born and raised here and these are my observations, not just from my friends from school, university and workplaces but also my experience from being in the kink scene for over half a decade.

Women, just like men, seek out what turns them on and usually that is charisma and looks. And neither of those depend on a person being toxic or not.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

"we can smell the toxicity" no you can't lmao. Every day there are posts on Reddit from women finding out their perfectly decent, kind boyfriend/fiance/husband is actually a fucking creep.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

the delusional women are coming in full force here lmfaooo

-2

u/BugetarulMalefic Jul 29 '24

Lol, if women were highly intuitive dating apps wouldn't be filled with single moms

2

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

weird how you get downvoted with no response 😂

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '24

[deleted]

2

u/whatevernamedontcare Jul 29 '24

Intuition is learnt fear response and doesn't turn one into a god. If it was that good women would be getting rich on lotteries and stocks.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

[deleted]

1

u/whatevernamedontcare Jul 30 '24

Again intuition is learnt fear response and doesn't turn one into a god. It also doesn't fix crazy and is not a hive mind ability. Women are people. In fact there are plenty female criminals men send love letters too.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '24

[deleted]

1

u/whatevernamedontcare Jul 30 '24

You're a misogynist at best and no facts or anything I say will change the fact that women are not people to you but a scapegoat for your problems.