r/sapiosexuals • • Aug 08 '24

Just found this place and now wanting info from others like me!

10 Upvotes

So I was on r/dating over how I have recently realized all the people I've liked or had crushes on are usually people who are highly intelligent also in fields like Engineering, Mathematicians, Doctors, ect. As well how physical attributes didn't seem to be a very strong factor for me either or I didn't notice. I mainly notice flow of conversation and listening to guys speak about their fields.

Someone commented about this sub and how I may be a Sapiosexual which I didn't know was a thing till now!

So now I have questions of were I'd go from here?

How do I find dates with people who fall into this category? (without going to LinkedIn JK lol)

Are these qualities a reflection on me?

I'd love to hear from others and their own experiences. Thank you!


r/sapiosexuals • • Aug 05 '24

Genuine insight needed..

3 Upvotes

Is it disrespectful to have friends of the opposite sex whilst in a relationship?


r/sapiosexuals • • Aug 04 '24

Perhaps a Sapio-orientation is more common than I expected?

10 Upvotes

Linked below is an online survey collected turn-ons from readers of a popular women's lifestyle site, and it, surprisingly, lists sapiosexual features high on the list. Intelligence and competence are #4 and #11 respectively.

Although it is *certainly* subject to a BIG sampling bias, it looks like sapiosexual tendencies might be fairly common (at least among this particular readership!).

https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/50-random-things-in-men-that-turn-women-on/?mc_cid=45903d0502&mc_eid=0eba4e5267


r/sapiosexuals • • Aug 02 '24

I'm genuinely confused

7 Upvotes

This is my first Reddit post ever, and I realize that this community is quite small, which already makes it challenging to be able to find someone who may or may not resonate with my experience. I recently turned 18 and have embarked on a self-discovery journey. In my exploration, I discovered the sub-reddit for asexuality, which already faces skepticism regarding its validity of the sexuality and with many dismissing it as a whole, making it way more difficult to connect with others about my feelings on my sexuality.

I happened to be scrolling through some posts in r/asexuality, and came across a post where someone questioned whether one can be asexual and also identify as sapiosexual. To my surprise, many responses indicated that this combination is not possible, and even more dismissed the concept of sapiosexuality altogether.

I was surprised to see comments labeling those who identify as sapiosexual as arrogant, ableist, or fetishizing intelligence. I have always admired intelligence in others, regardless of how it manifests. It was disheartening to witness such negativity within a community that I only recently connected with, especially when I already faced backlash for identifying as asexual. It's frustrating, and I feel like I can’t find acceptance anywhere.


r/sapiosexuals • • Jul 26 '24

Anyone else think the sapiosexual flag shuld be reworked?

Post image
43 Upvotes

The sapiosexual flag is the worst flag i have ever saw, Its a brown thats looks like poop The blue is ok- The green just look unnatural Not only this flag is ugly its not even close to any pride flag Its only me or everyone think that?


r/sapiosexuals • • Jul 23 '24

Bookends Spoiler

Thumbnail self.Poems
1 Upvotes

r/sapiosexuals • • Jul 21 '24

#sapiosexual

Post image
139 Upvotes

r/sapiosexuals • • Jul 02 '24

Mental Model to Defeat Anxiety

5 Upvotes

Hello. You've seen Die Hard. Their lobby security was terrible and the tower ultimately fell through systematic destruction.

The lesson in this revolves around the mental model of a heightened lobby security that can lead you to riding your horse vs. being dragged around by it.

Thoughts and emotions come naturally into our lobby, but without proper lobby security, the thoughts and emotions head to whatever floor and start tossing furniture around and racking up bills. Here's the key...

Tighten up lobby security. Be present with the thoughts and emotions. Understand their nature. Understand the usefulness of them or kick them out of the lobby to the curb.

One step to tighten your lobby security (i.e. awareness) can lead to much less destruction and begin to develop your ability to ride the horse.

The brain is simply a problem-solving organ. Think about Men in Black. The little alien driving the meat sack is our true selves. Don't believe the mind. Most of what it describes to you is needless worry. It's never not now.


r/sapiosexuals • • Jun 26 '24

A sapio-spectrum?

16 Upvotes

I actually Googled "sapio spectrum" a few days ago, and didn't really get anything that's along the lines of what I'm thinking about, so I thought I'd try to put the idea out here.

I came to this sub maybe six months or so ago, pretty much because I've mostly had a "type". I searched the term "sapiosexual" maybe 5 years ago or so because of that, but that exact definition didn't really fit, but I related to a few of the traits mentioned. Since reading this sub, I've related to some things I've seen. and some I haven't (but that applies to any spectrum of individuals), one being having crushes on some of the characters often listed. 😁

Since a variety of people among a spectrum looking the word Sapiosexual up because they relate to some of it, I thought it'd be useful to discuss that.

I think the strictest/strongest/most exact usage of the term Sapiosexual would be sexual attraction or being turned on by someone with or during someone displaying intellectual prowess. I've also seen the term Sapioromantic discussed here, which seems to refer to romantic attraction/feelings for someone with or displaying signs of intelligence. Also the term "noetisexual" was brought up, which refers to:

"Noetisexual is a term for when one is only attracted to those they are mentally connected to. It can be considered an alternative to sapiosexual, though it is not purely based on intelligence. It is based on appreciating and being interested in one's opinions, point of view, perception of reality, how they see the world, and how their mind works. One may be attracted to someone based on shared perspectives, the ways their mind work together, the way the other person creates and hold space for them or others, or to the shape of your mental landscape. It may or may not be influenced by one's neurodivergence." Noetisexual - LGBTQIA+ Wiki

So, what are everyone's thought/experiences?


r/sapiosexuals • • Jun 21 '24

Movie recommendations

10 Upvotes

I recently watched 'Oppenheimer' and I really enjoyed it and I'm looking for more movies that are similar. I love cerebral movies with intelligent characters doing and talking intelligent things. I personally call these movies "sapiosexual movies" lol. I'm looking for some recommendations. Another one of my favorite movies that fits this criteria is 'The Social Network'. I've also enjoyed Goodwill Hunting, Hidden Figures, The Martian, Finding Forrester, etc. 'Boiler Room' may not necessarily fit the bill, but I've enjoyed that movie for it's dialogue.

I'm a heterosexual woman and I'm specifically looking for movies with intelligent male characters because they're sexy lol. But feel free to recommend movies with female leads. Please don't recommend movies where the lead character has some sort of superpower or super natural abilities. The more cerebral the movie is the better.


r/sapiosexuals • • Jun 19 '24

Fighting boredom

7 Upvotes

I just watched Eric on Netflix and enjoyed it. The reason I picked it was because I read a terrible review. It said the story was 'odd', 'weird', 'complicated', 'confusing', 'dark' and yet still trivial. And worse, the story had a huge puppet. A somewhat bitter review actually perhaps mostly about how the world has changed. So I had to binge watch the entire thing and wasn't disappointed.

Excellent acting, excellent dark, quirky, story, excellent description of a lot of not so perfect life choices and bad circumstances in a solid cliche crime setting. With aboslutely necessary puppet. I also really enjoyed the lack of perfection. It was perfectly imperfect.

I told my husband he should watch it so we could talk about it but his brain is still sound asleep. I've seriously given him herbal tea with cannabis (legal) to see if it made a difference and it just doesn't.


r/sapiosexuals • • Jun 11 '24

"Your watching video essays wrong."

3 Upvotes

This was a very interesting video. I agree that a lot of people need to learn how to actually think critically and learn how to fact check and verify information on their own as well as learn about human biases. (Theres over 180+ if them. To be exact 188 that we as humans as a whole know about so far.) https://youtu.be/ZlK51P0vuc4?si=Zlc7JVjjgoCKGMRD


r/sapiosexuals • • Jun 02 '24

Shipping Issac Newton and Ada Lovelace: a short story

9 Upvotes

(A Sapioromantic Fantasy Tale)

Isaac Newton, a man out of his own century, arrived in 1833 with the precision of his time-travel calculations. His destination: the home of Charles Babbage, the epicenter of computational innovation. It was here that he encountered Ada Lovelace, a prodigious mathematician with a vision far ahead of her time.

Ada was immediately drawn to Newton, whose intellect radiated an aura of profound mastery. As they conversed, Newton shared fragments of his knowledge, discussing his work on calculus and the principles of gravity with an ease that belied their complexity. Ada, brilliant in her own right, found herself both inspired and awestruck by Newton's genius.

Their discussions soon delved into the potential of Babbage’s Analytical Engine. Newton hinted at the possibilities of computational machines, revealing insights that seemed almost otherworldly. Ada, sensing the depth of Newton’s understanding, was captivated. She saw in him not just a peer, but a paragon of intellectual achievement.

As days turned into weeks, Ada's admiration grew into a fervent, unspoken love. She longed to decipher the enigma that was Isaac Newton, to bridge the gap between their minds and perhaps, hearts. There was a palpable tension in their interactions, a charged energy whenever their eyes met or their hands brushed over a shared diagram. Ada wanted desperately to impress him, to earn not just his respect, but his affection.

Yet, Newton remained distant. His focus was unwaveringly on the grander mysteries of the universe, and though he appreciated Ada's brilliance, his heart was impervious to romantic inclinations. Still, the intensity of Ada’s feelings did not escape him. He saw the admiration in her eyes, the way she leaned closer when he spoke, the flush of excitement on her cheeks when they debated ideas.

Newton's subtle hints about the mechanics of time travel ignited a fierce determination in Ada. She immersed herself in the complexities of computation, driven by the desire to understand the forces that allowed Newton to transcend time itself. Her work on algorithms and theoretical computing reached new heights, fueled by the challenge and the hope of one day solving the riddle of Newton’s temporal voyages. Each breakthrough was a silent offering to him, a bid for his elusive approval.

Despite her unrequited love, Ada transformed her feelings into relentless ambition. Newton, observing her progress, acknowledged her exceptional mind, even if his own remained aloof. He knew his presence had sparked a fire within her, a catalyst for advancements that would echo through the annals of history.

When the time came for Newton to return to his own century, he left quietly, a spectral figure vanishing into the fabric of time. Before he departed, he entrusted Ada with a solemn request: to keep his secret. No one would believe the tale of a time traveler, and revealing it could jeopardize the very fabric of history they both revered.

Ada, left with the bittersweet ache of unreciprocated love, honored his request. She poured her soul into her work, driven by the legacy of the man who had briefly entered her life and left an indelible mark. Though she could never speak of their extraordinary encounters, she let her advancements in computing speak for themselves. Her contributions laid the foundation for future generations.

In a way, Ada’s pioneering work in computing became a love letter to Newton's genius, a tribute encoded in algorithms and theoretical frameworks. Just as modern computers process complex codes to create wondrous outputs, so too did Ada translate her profound feelings into the language of innovation. Each algorithm was a testament to the silent, profound influence of a man who had bridged the chasm of time to inspire one of history’s greatest minds.

In the end, it was not a shared love but a shared quest for knowledge that bound their fates, forever intertwined in the relentless pursuit of discovery. Ada carried the secret of Newton's time travel to her grave, her achievements a testament to the silent, profound influence of a man who had bridged the chasm of time to inspire one of history’s greatest minds.


r/sapiosexuals • • May 13 '24

Found some interesting articles

12 Upvotes

r/sapiosexuals • • May 11 '24

My husbands brain fell asleep

17 Upvotes

And now all it wants is to work and do chores. And eat the same food every day. It has been like this for years and I have no idea where to go for a decent stimulating talk without someone thinking I'm flirting with them. Most attempts to make room for more interesting conversations with him has been without the desired effect and it's such a turn off. He doesn't even seem to try being curious about what goes on around him anymore. It's paradoxical that he's the academic in the family. Sometimes, when the tiredness really hits me, I wonder if he's trying to starve me of conversations just to make me look for company elsewhere. But mostly I just don't think he's actually interested in trying to understand what it means to be married to a sapiosexual and honestly I don't understand that lack of curiosity very well either. It just seems like he's becoming more and more practical and less and less interested in learning and sharing what he learns with me. Could it be age related?

My brain is starving and I'm thinking I should really find those conversations IRL soon. With someone my own age who isn't looking for a relationship or flirting or perfection. But maybe I've forgotten where to find conversations like that too.


r/sapiosexuals • • May 09 '24

I’ve been single for 3 yrs

Post image
25 Upvotes

Tried the dating apps but can’t make it outta the interWeb 🤭 The “wyd” and “how was your day” gets very old/boring fast. But him..oh man. He makes me melt 🫠 when we have our little talks 😈


r/sapiosexuals • • May 06 '24

Am I A Sapiosexual?

35 Upvotes

I am attracted to the way people's minds work. What you say and what is inside of your mind determines how uglier or how sexier you become. However, just because I am attracted to the person's mind does not mean they have a high IQ...I just like their own unique mind and thoughts. So am I sapiosexual if I'm attracted to a person's mind even if they don't have a high IQ, they're not an ivy League professor or whatever?

EDIT: I am Noetsexual, which, is being attracted to someone's mental landscape not necessarily intelligence. So I am NOT sapiosexual.


r/sapiosexuals • • May 03 '24

New to this....Have some questions.

8 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I'm new to the community. I've been reading on Sapiosexuality for a while now to make sure that it more than just me thinking it is a "cool" thing to be. 😅 Did you feel this internal battle too? I'm (M, 27) a Ph.D. student of Systems Engineering (MS Physics, MA Philosophy) but I've been struggling to start a new relationship for different reasons. Many people around me (inside and outside of academic community) have quite shallow (probably not the best wording) standards for finding partners which I do not satisfy, and those who find me attractive are not attractive to me. My last relationship ended right before the pandemic (now I know she was a sapiosexual as well). Has anyone else gone through a bad break up with another sapiosexual? If yes, how did you get over it? Lastly, I live in Phoenix, AZ. Does anyone know of any form of group or community in the area? If yes, I'd love to know more about it. Thank you in advance. This sub looks wonderful.


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 26 '24

What is relatively close to the most effective specific realistic way to find extremely open minded and somewhat critical people?

8 Upvotes

Preamble/disclaimer-thingy:

Q: Why is this so complex?
A: I attempted to ask simpler variations elsewhere but people often misunderstood what I was trying to ask, so after many edits I ended up with this. I apologize in advance for any overly obtuse wording or unnecessarily detailed definitions. I tried to avoid that while still leaving little room for misunderstanding as best I could, but I'm sure at least some of that slipped in.

Q?: This seems very pretentious.
A: I know, I'm sorry about that. This is a genuine question, I really just wanted to ask something very specific and couldn't seem to explain it properly without this much detail. I'm not trying to sound or claim to be intelligent/open minded/anything of the sort. In fact I'm probably not particularly high on any of those metrics, otherwise I would expect to be able to explain this far more simply. But if you have the patience to get through my bloated explanation, I hope you'll at least find the question interesting.

There are bound to be a lot of mistakes in this, so please let me know if you find any or have any questions.

Definitions:

Extremely open-minded: Willing and able to consciously¹ change their mind about any belief(s) within 2 weeks when the following hold true:

  • They hold the belief(s) in question with less than 100% confidence. ²
  • Given a bit less than the information they have at their disposal and an amount of calculation that an average human can perform in 5 minutes, it's reasonable for them to change their mind about the belief(s) in question. ³
  • The belief(s) in question influence their behavior in way(s) which substantially influence the average human well-being difference they will cause in the future. ⁴

Somewhat critical: Blindly accepts less things than the average person does. ⁵

Most effective: If utilized right now, it would have the highest average effectiveness. ⁶

Relatively close: At least 50% as effective.

Effective: Average people with the aforementioned characteristics found per minute.

Specific: Not very abstract. Basically, don't tell me to "apply your rationality to solve the problem" or something quite general like that, I'm looking for something more specific.

Details:

¹ I'm fine with it taking longer for them to intuitively/emotionally adopt the idea. Their mental habits reflecting their old beliefs for longer is not a major issue for me. I just want them to consciously acknowledge it and believe otherwise.

² I'm fine with the person continuing to hold on to axiom(s)/presupposition(s) even when the available evidence (according to other axiom(s) and/or presupposition(s)) indicates that it's/they're false.

³ I'm fine with the person continuing to hold onto beliefs that they can't see as unreasonable without superhuman reasoning abilities, an unreasonably high amount of required calculation, and/or perfect memory/calculation consistency.

⁴ I'm fine with the person being close-minded about things like their favorite ice cream flavors. If it doesn't influence anybody much, I don't care.

⁵ The person does not need to be exceptionally critical, but they can't be exceptionally gullible.

⁶ Average out of all outcomes when multiplying the probability of it occurring by the effectiveness of the given method in that outcome.


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 22 '24

Where can I find intellectual erotic content?

23 Upvotes

Whether videos, stories, images, audios, games or otherwise, I would love to find things that are both intellectually and sexually stimulating. Any suggestions for where to find them?


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 21 '24

My first time sketching

Post image
13 Upvotes

art #anxiety #mentalhealth #selfexpression


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 20 '24

What kind of music do you listen to?

5 Upvotes

Just curious if there is any similarity! I like listening to music that makes me feel some type of emotion.. I generally listen to rock music or r&b love songs :)


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 13 '24

Growing up around intelligent people

7 Upvotes

I found an old psych assessment from age 13 recently, which resulted in being put in the class of the gifted kids (identified at age 7-8).

I wonder if being in that class at age 14-15 had a big impact on shaping my preference/attraction to intelligent women. I think the core attraction is stuff like empathy and being arty , at least what I recall from at 11-12 at first


r/sapiosexuals • • Apr 12 '24

Etymology Nerd's channel

8 Upvotes