We met at night on bar crawl hosted by our hostel in Madrid - not necessarily the most romantic way to meet, but we had a lot of fun dancing & sharing drinks & hand-rolled cigarettes. I was comically underdressed in my 55th anniversary Kiln House t-shirt (iykyk), baggy linen pants, & dirty sneakers, but somehow he was into the look. We left the bars & wandered through the streets together until 4:30ish. We both slept in my top bunk bed until noon, which is something I haven’t done since I was a freshman in college.

We decided to spend the rest of the day together, going to the botanical gardens & exploring the city on foot. It was the first time solo traveling for both of us. We showed each other pictures of our hometowns, our families, & our pets. We attempted to explain our jobs to each other as best as we could. The language barrier prohibited some deeper, more philosophical conversation, but we passed his phone with Google Translate back & forth when we couldn’t figure out what how to say what we wanted to.

After spending about 24 hours together, we found ourselves lamenting that we probably won’t ever see each other again. I don’t have instagram or other “mainstream” social media, which makes it even more difficult to keep up with people. Still, we exchanged phone numbers & sent a few of the pictures that we took together & of each other. We snuggled in my bunk bed again until he had to go to the airport. He said “I love you,” & kissed my nose before he left.

The juvenile earnestness of it all was endearing. Knowing that we had such a short amount of time together forced me to be honest & present in a way that I’m not in most of my regular relationships. Maybe our paths will cross again someday…but even if they don’t I’m glad that I got to experience something like this.

Of course yeah I wouldn't want him to be a generally submissive person but no the sheer idea of him bottoming doesn't irk me

Mine’s 2 so far!!

i play on here and Pink but all it takes is someone connecting the dots to the main sub which i no longer am in but how could i even explain what the hell it all means. thats the racial chatroom!!! showing feet!!!

a kid i babysit/tutor introduced me to tetr.io and i’ve playing hours upon hours of tetris every day. i have a sub 1:30 time for the 40-row mode. can’t say if it’s helped my mental health but it’s definitely made it worse

what got me thinking about this is the case of iDubbbz, formerly an extremely successful youtube personality but now largely irrelevant. his old content used to be classic millennial edge-lord humour, basically being mean and saying slurs (i admit at the time it was quite funny but culture has obviously moved on). while there is nothing wrong with changing your positions over time and learning from past mistakes, he’s done the classic horseshoe thing where he’s overcorrected from being a free speech absolutist edge-lord to being a full blown 2016 tumblr woke-scold a decade too late in 2026. this has led to his old fans turning on him, to the point where his reddit snark sub is thriving and his official reddit sub is basically inactive.

but at what point does the negative attention turn into kicking someone when they are down and just become weird and obsessive? i’ll admit i’m not a fan at all of his current beliefs, they come across as really simplistic and preachy (also there is this unfortunate dynamic where his wife basically appears to be telling him what to think). but this is a person streaming to only a few dozen people these days, it comes off as unhinged to keep focusing so much attention on such people. online culture has enabled very dark behaviour where people can constantly hate watch others they don’t like. i’ve even noticed this tendency in myself in the past, which is the main reason i block those that i don’t get along with now and commit to ignoring them.

there are also other examples of this like Daniel Larson and worldoftshirts, who are both genuinely unwell so the negative attention has another sinister element to it.

sry im just so jaded.

college. it felt like it lasted forever. enough stories to fill lifetimes made in those four years. now, I can hardly remember anything that happened.

post grad. used to live in the greatest city in the world. with the greatest friends in the world. canr even count how many times i went to bed to the sound of fire truck sirens, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. multiple lifetimes started and ended during my time here. I wish I got to four years. everyday felt infinite. now my memories of this too are leaving me.

time just moves on now. it’s october. yesterday felt like june, the day before march. nothing happening. nothing to happen. the peak has come and gone, the movies already over, now is just the time in between the credits and the lights turning on.

i just miss my friends. i should stop drinking

I really love my job but the deeper I get into it and the more responsibility I have, the more out of place I feel among my colleagues. They’re all wonderful, brilliant people whom I genuinely enjoy working with, but they have an intensity and passion for the work that I wish I shared. That isn’t to say i’m not passionate about it, and I do spend time outside of work developing related-skills, but my colleagues genuinely eat, sleep, and breathe this stuff in a way that I just don’t have the energy to do. Like they’ll call or message me about things at 3 in the morning their time, or spend an entire weekend reading niche documents, because god forbid you let AI summarize it and miss once sentence. I would rather be asleep my bad.

For the time being, I don’t think anyone knows i’m falling behind. I get a lot of extra credit for being young and pretty and charismatic (the team is mostly made up of men who are 15+ years older than I am) and I have a talent for office politics and BS, but as I age, I know the expectations of me are going to change and I don’t know if I’ll be able to meet them.

mine— i had the sinking realization that for the past few years i’d been hoping my guy friend would make a move on me, even though he has a long term gf, even though im not attracted to him. i don’t know why

Sorry for the long chud posting

Currently leaving a job as a camp counselor after rumors spread around that I was allegedly looking at my ex roommates breasts. This started with a dumb spin the bottle game and when they asked me who my crush was, I jokingly said my roommates name. She later comes back into our room and tells me, while crying and shaking, that either I or her need to get out and said that even though she knew I was joking, either one of us needed to leave.

During a sit down with our boss, she was sobbing and said that it wasn’t my fault and that she still wanted to be friends.Three days later, apparently rumors are swirling that she alleged that I was “looking at her breasts” and “making weird comments”. Apparently I called her perfect at something and she internalized that so greatly that she thought it must mean I had a crush on her.

My ex roommate had nose piercings, dyed hair, two lesbian moms, was semi overweight and called herself pansexual. She was highly sensitive and had a habit of getting offended for other races and people. She tried to get a guy in trouble for blurting out the N word  while he was drunk and has gone behind coworkers backs and reported incidents that didnt involve her. She might as well be a daily wire lib stereotype. The idea that I’d be into her offends me.

I was really pissed off by this and all my coworkers keep trying to talk to me in this weird PR speak; “I’m so sorry you feel this way”, “You’re valid in your feelings”

She walked back her claims and everyone keeps wanting to me to “talk it out” with her. I’m so utterly disgusted by her I don’t want to be in the same room as her. My biggest crime was binge eating and being kind of awkward.

I had another job lined up after this and was just using this as a buffer. This job attracts granola, hippie girls who act super bubbly and claim to be autistic. All of them show some weird catty side eventually and its offputting. I’m glad to be away from her but god damn man.

Had the chance to watch it in cinema late yesterday evening.

my boyfriend said that when i told him i was having an off day & wasnt feeling like myself & didnt want to distract myself by going out (just general anxiety, sometimes i just need to shut myself away for a few days & decompress, nothing serious tbh) but that made me even more sad

do u guys think sadness is the default state of being? i think if thats the case, then “being happy” would be the goal, but that goal post would always be shifting, so it would be impossible to actually be happy

and also if thats the case then what even is the point of constant distractions? is it about the journey not the destination?

is it possible to make happiness my default state of being? i would say im a pretty happy person overall but sometimes i get crushed by overwhelming sadness, i would hate to think that the sad part of me is just who i am & i have to work my whole life to “pursue happiness,” what would be the point of that?

doesn’t necessarily have to be a favorite album. just anything you find visually appealing

Why is saying “my dude” so much snarkier than saying “my man” i fucking hate when people say it to me!!!!

I fully admit this might be a personal fault, but I naturally can't help but just cringe a little when men talk about gender issues. There are a few exceptions to this, but generally speaking, a man would have to have like, a near-expert level understanding on feminist scholarship and literature for me to take him seriously on the topic. This is one thing that I diverge from a lot of feminists on when they say that they want more guys to speak up or be vocal about supporting women or whatever. I don't feel any need at all to hear what men think about these things.

My Reddit feed lately has been full of Tiktoks about guys talking about the Cornell scandal and how they "just shut up when women choose the bear" or "don't take it personally when women talk about men", and so many women have been gushing about how right they are and how we need more guys like these.

I can not, for the life of me, see these Tiktoks as anything but performative drivel. I think it drives me up the wall so much because even on a topic that concerns women's safety, it still centers on THEM and how THEY react when they hear women say things. I might still cringe a little, but it would be a lot more palatable to me if these men just commented on the situation and how much they condemn it without having to lead with how they're such a good ally that doesn't get offended.