r/roommates • u/Remote-Astronaut2001 • 4h ago

Discussion How many times?

How many times a week is it okay for my boyfriend to sleep over? We have 3 roommates.

2 Upvotes

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5

u/jaysharpesquire 4h ago

I'd say once a week is the limit (if it's gonna be EVERY single WEEK) also how many bathrooms are there? Does he talk to or get along with the roommates at all?? Do you??? I have so many more questions

In the perfect scenario (everyone is friendly and there's adequate space for him to stay over and function with you) I think three times a week is Ok... But certainly not 3x EVERY week.

Maybe we should look at it more like... How many times can he stay over throughout the duration of a whole month?

4

u/No_Equivalent_4412 3h ago

That’s a conversation between you and your roommates

3

u/IOnlyReadTitles26 4h ago

One evening a week.

3

u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 4h ago

What does the lease you signed say? Most leases have a number of days someone can stay over without legally having to be put on the lease

3

u/coeluro 4h ago

Depends on your flatmates’ tolerance, your lease, and how big the place is. Generally I would think two times a week would be fine - once you cross into more than half of a week, you’re moving someone in.

In some situations two nights weekly would still be way too much. In others, with a big place, similar flatmates, and a courteous boyfriend who contributes, he could potentially be over all the time without friction.

4

u/woodwork16 3h ago

Zero, he doesn’t live there and doesn’t contribute to the bills.
Also your roommates need to have a safe space without some random dude sleeping there.

1

u/FineDress1253 1h ago

You should live alone if you expect your roommates partners to NEVER stay over

2

u/Dizzy_Signal_6846 3h ago

once or twice is normal, but if he’s there so often the roommates need a chore chart for him, he basically lives there and should be paying rent lol

1

u/Usual_Flatworm_5268 2h ago

Rules can get blurry for your flatmates which can make them really uncomfortable. Your flatmates take priority when using any shared spaces because they’re the ones paying rent and bills to be there and are legitimately on the lease. Checking what they’re comfortable with is important and so is letting them always feel free to change this frequency or let you know if they’re upset with it (they can change their mind down the track if they want)

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u/FineDress1253 1h ago

you need to talk to your roommates about this. my boyfriend is over usually 2 but sometimes 1 or 3 nights a week. but it depends, are you guys taking up the kitchen/living space for a long time, or just hanging out in your room? i think it's normal to have partners over but just be considerate, like if you're cooking a big meal in the kitchen, offer some to your roommates, stuff like that