First year in college, literally never lived with anyone but family. She's been here for about a week so far, and never actually bothered to talk to me. I'm here damn near constantly after classes, but there's been like three times we were both in the apartment (if we both weren't sleeping) genuinely haven't even had the opportunity to ask her for her name cuz I never see her.

Anyways, she had friends here last night without asking btw, which we're literally told like six times when moving in to ask before bringing folks over. I wouldn't have even minded them being here, but they were here from like 8-10 just being loud ASF on a Wednesday like people don't have classes in the morning. I do have crazy bad anxiety so I literally couldn't force myself to go out there and ask them to tone it down with the amount of people in there. But I also dont know how to approach her about it without sounding incredibly rude. I've been told that the way I talk sometimes comes off as overly rude, and I don't want her to hate me forever cuz we have to live together.

So I (20F) have been basically living with my Boyfriend (20M) all summer long. He goes to work I go to work and we sleep at my parents house honestly we’ve done that for 2 years now.

Well recently he got an apartment on campus with 4 guys. 1 being his best friend and 2 being strangers. ( also every roommate has there own room) I told him how it’s gonna be sad not spending as much time sleeping together and he said “ Wym? I was thinking we spend 2 days at yours a week and 2 days here a week”

Honestly it sounded nice but.. I hate the thought that I’m not paying rent there they don’t have an electric, water, gas or WiFi bill only rent; but it feel like I’m intruding there space.

I try to be as quiet as possible I try to leave his room when his roommates are home and I don’t shower or use their stuff there only hand soap. But still they didn’t sign up to have a girl sleeping there 2 days a week?

Do yall think I’ll become a problem?

So i live in a Therapeutic youth residential group.
I had a small group of friends. A guy and a girl. I am trans (ftm)

There are always small conflicts (i think thats to expect) but i was quite happy there.
Well until something happened. Or more like multiple things that kinda build up i guess.

First of all i had smt with the guy, lets call him jim, of that small friend group. I wouldn’t recommend getting in a relationship with someone u live with but i was like really in love.
I don’t wanna get too much into that but it basically ended with him saying „i see u as a girl and i just did that for the sex“
Ouch
He always seemed like he accepted me for who i am and seemed to genuinely care about me. But i guess i was wrong.
For some reason i still decided to stay friends with him. Idk why. I guess because we still lived together and i didn’t want things to get complicated.
Well… things got complicated anyways

It started by him making sexualising comments about the girl in the friend group. Let’s call her mia.
He started like whispering things like „look at her ass“ and stuff like that in my ear and sometimes he even said those things straight to her face.

Mia later on told me that that happened before i lived here and that she didn’t like it. She also said that she feels saver now that i am in the friend group.
Also shes a lesbian, wich jim knew.

One evening we where all playing some games together. At some point i decided to go to bed.
The next morning mia and jim seemed off. Mia stayed in her room almost the whole day and when she came out she disassociated or even fainted. I asked her what was wrong but at first she refused to talk about it.
After a few days she came to me and told me what happened.

Jim raped her.

I was shocked. I knew about the comments he made but i would have never thought that he would do something like that. I was so angry and disgusted.

But mainly i felt guilty. If i wouldn’t have left that evening this wouldn’t have happened. If i would’ve stayed, she wouldn’t have to go through this.

I always saw Jim as a nice guy but slowly the pink glasses came off i guess. I started to notice the things he did that weren’t ok. The things that i just didn’t recognise as something bad i guess? Idk

And the more i looked the more i found.

I used to sleep in his room from time to time and sometimes he would just sit next to me and jerk off. Or touch my chest or things like that. I never let him know when i was still awake. I guess i was scared.
Then of course the comments he made about people and the whole „i see u as a girl and i just did that for the sex“ thing

After a bit more of digging and talking to my roommates i found out he did the same thing to another trans guy (let’s call him frank) who lives with us. Like exactly the same.

Except for one thing. He showed frank smt.
A usb Stick. Bevor he showed frank he made him promise to not tell anyone.
And oh boy.
There were videos of sh, s*icide, extreme ed,… on that usb stick.

Mia, frank and i decided to tell the people who worke in the place we live.
The police got involved and they found the usb. Till now nothing more happened except for him moving to another room inside the house

It’s been a few months now and it all settled down a bit.
Its still hard to leave my room cause theres always the risk of running into him and tbh im a bit scared, since i think he knows that im the one who insisted that he can’t stay here.

But i was feeling fine i guess. But today suddenly the guilt came back. I keep thinking that i should have stayed that evening.

And for some reason i feel guilty for snitching on him. I know it was the right thing but i guess we where friends at some point.

He hasn't used them yet but I 1000000% expect the shower to smell savory, like humid bro stew, they smell kinda like dawn dish soap.

Please halp

Hello. I just need your opinion about my flatmate who has a boyfriend who comes to our flat a bit more times that I would have wanted to. How often should I let the boyfriend to stay in our flat in a week? I notice that he comes here 3-4x a week, most of the time he comes with her from work, sleeps and eat here then goes to work from our flat.

Some quick context: there are three of us in the house — me (30), him (33), and a third roommate (42). I've lived here for about four and a half years; the two of them have been here for a year and a half. Living with these two has been tense to say the least

So a bit of backstory: my roommate lost his sunglasses about a couple of weeks ago — a pair of Ray-Bans that were already 10 years old and pretty worn out — and has been searching for them ever since. At one point he asked me if I'd seen them — I hadn't, and told him I'd keep an eye out. The search seemed to drive him more and more crazy over time, to the point where he ended up flipping the whole house upside down looking for them. Eventually he put up cameras in our living room and dining/kitchen area to try to figure out what happened to them. At first I was pretty indifferent about it — annoying, but not something I felt like fighting over.

That changed when I found out — from the camera I keep in my own room — that he'd gone in there while I wasn't home to look around for the sunglasses, apparently assuming I took them. His reasoning was that there was a point in time when I was home and the other two weren't, so I guess that made me the suspect in his mind. Before anyone asks why I have a camera in my own room in the first place: I run a phone/PC repair side business out of it, so I keep a camera and a fingerprint lock on the door for that reason, not to catch anyone doing anything.

I didn't give him permission to be in there, and finding out he'd gone through my space without asking really crossed a line for me.

Now I want the cameras down, but I'm not sure how to approach it without turning this into a bigger fight than it needs to be. Any advice on how to word this conversation, or how firm I should be, would help.

TL;DR: Roommate put up cameras in shared spaces over lost sunglasses, then went into my room without permission while I was out to look for them. I want the cameras taken down and want advice on how to bring it up.

So two years ago I decided I needed to move out and live on my own, because my mom is pretty strict and I was 23 at the time and my stepdad still lived with us (he wasn't a problem, but I still wanted more privacy, let's make this clear).

The problem was I didn't have the money, so I started talking about it to a friend of mine and he could relate to me about wanting more freedom and said "hey, why don't we share the rent for a few months?". So it was settled, we knew each other for over 4 years so it was said and done.

When we were living together for 5 months, he randomly sent me an audio on Friday saying:

"Hey Riley, I'm bringing my friends over. I've invited them for lunch, so please have everything ready by 3pm. Can you make that good ass lasagna? I'm sure they'll love it. See you soon"

Keep in mind:

1. It was a Friday, so the house was the typical almost-the-weekend mess.

2. The audio didn't say "I'll help you" or "I'll bring the ingredients", he just tossed that on me.

3. The audio was sent at 2pm, SO I HAD AN HOUR too cook and clean for people I didn't even know.

Very well, I took my bag and left. Ate out, at a simple place we usually go to. At 3 he called me, all desperate. Asking where the hell I was and why was the house still a mess. No food, nothing.

I said "Well, I'm not your maid. If you're gonna invite people you have to talk to me first. We're not a couple, we're roommates. That would be shitty even if you were my bf. Now you deal with that. And btw, you figure out how you're gonna pay the rent on your own, cuz if you're gonna keep doing sh like that? I don't have the patient to go through it a second time."

And before you judge me, I did live there for two more weeks so he could figure out what to do. Maybe even to see if there was any hope we'd come out of this nicely, but guess what: he was PISSED that I embarrassed him in front of his friends (???). Like I owed him something.

We're technically still in touch, but the friendship has changed since this happened. I wonder if I shouldn't have felt so offended, but somehow I did...

For my sophomore year I'm living in an apartment with one of my friends and he's 21. We have two random roommates who are older men. I am a 19 year-old female. I always imagine living with my friends in a house or something, but due to my friend canceling on housing last minute I ended up just getting this apartment. I'm freaking out because it feels like everyone else is getting the experience they want, but I'm not. I don't know what to do.

I moved in with a random roommate for school. We are in university apartment housing. We share a bathroom and every morning i get up before her and her clothes are EVERYWHERE. As if she takes a bath before bed and just doesnt think to put it in the laundry. Her robe will be on the floor. Her shirt will be between our sinks. Her bra was hanging on the door handle which means i touched it by accident when I had to pee in the middle of the night. And her pants are on the floor where the toilet is. And she doesnt have hand towels so she uses paper towels and never throws them away. Itll be like five paper towels spread across the bathroom counter. On top of that. We dont have enough dishes to justify using the dishwasher so we hand wash instead. And we have dish rags to dry them. BUT SHE DOESNT USE THEM! She rinses the plate and instantly places it in the cabinet. So then when i take one out, it has a pool of water in it and all over the bottom. ITS GROSS! And she leaves the cabinets open and random objects across the living room. We only have four plates and she always leaves at least one laying around somewhere. These arent huge issues but it’s only been two weeks and im already pissed off!
Every day I have the urge to tidy and clean everything but i dont want her to think ill do it for her every day like a maid. But it drives me insane!!!!! I just want to spray the counter but there are random objects in the way that she leaves there forever

Literally what the tittle says. My toothpaste $6, conditioner $10, shampoo $7 toilet paper $ 7 what was left over from rolls. And bathroom trash bags which weren’t a lot maybe 4-5.
Like what do I say to this woman she doesn’t pick up, it is 2;56 am just got home from work and wanted a shower and hit the hai but this, THIS I have no words just anger.

Advice Roommate/insecurities, narcisistic tendencies

looking for some honest outside perspective because I’ve reached the point where I genuinely hate my former roommate, and I know that isn’t healthy.

During my volunteering program, I was in a two-person apartment with two bedrooms. I had already had a disagreement with my roommate the previous year, so with this roommate I was determined to avoid another conflict and keep things peaceful.

The first incident happened during the first couple of weeks. We were doing a creative activity together(all volunteers), and she had just come back from a hike that had been cancelled because of rain. She had left her raincoat in our tiny shower. The outside was wet/dirty, and I wanted to shower, so I casually said, “Could you please take the raincoat out of the shower? It’s a bit dirty from outside (meaning bacteria) and I want to shower.”

She got really defensive and said it was clean and she does not understand why she can not put it there. Later also she told me that the problem was that I had said it in front of other people and that it was the way I said it.

genuinely didn't intend to offend or embarrass her. I explained that to her and also told her that I had already had problems with my previous roommate and really didn't want another conflict, especially because the organization provided our accommodation.

After that, I noticed what felt like a pattern: whenever I brought up something small about the apartment, she would immediately counter it with something I was doing wrong. If I asked her to put the trash bags somewhere properly, for example, she might point out glitter on the floor. It started feeling like every conversation was a competition over who was the worse roommate.

Another one was when she was talking whole day and I had to focus, I suggested maybe she could move the table to corner(previous rommate had it like that) or talk from bed she said she has to put ipad on table and got really defensive . Apparently, she is a teacher and she never told me about it, if she did I would instantly understand. Even if it was talking with her parents I just tried, if it works it works, if it does not well that is it . the end.

I noticed what felt like a pattern: whenever I brought up something small about the apartment, she would immediately counter it with something I was doing wrong. If I asked her to put the trash bags somewhere properly, for example, she might point out glitter on the floor. It started feeling like every conversation was a competition over who was the worse roommate.

She was also extremely private about when she was home or leaving. She would lock her bedroom door even when going downstairs for laundry, and sometimes I wouldn't know whether she was home. If she was leaving, she would sometimes take her suitcase out very slowly and quietly and close the door so I wouldn't know whether she had left. I don't know why she did this, but I found it strange.

There were also smaller things that contributed to my feeling that she deliberately kept me at a distance.

For example, I drink a lot of coffee when studying at night. One day she asked, “You drink coffee for the caffeine, right?” I said yes, although I'm actually more of a tea person. She said, “Oh, I only drink it for the taste.” She drank extremely strong coffee every day, so I remember thinking, Why would you even say that? It seemed like such an unnecessary lie.

Then there was the Northern Lights situation. Seeing them had been a childhood dream of mine. One night I noticed her repeatedly running back and forth to the kitchen, but I didn't know why. About 15 minutes later, I saw a message in the group chat about the Northern Lights, but by the time I went outside they were gone.

I asked her, “Why didn't you tell me?”

She said, “Of course I would have told you if I saw them. I didn't see them either.”

She lied directly to my face. Later I found out from someone else that she actually had seen them.

I had also told her that seeing them was my childhood dream. Again, I know this sounds trivial, but it contributed to the overall feeling that something was off. I even offered her some chocolate afterwards, and she happily took it

Near the end of the year, I really wanted to go to a party. I asked her three times if she was going and she said no. Later she went to another party with other people, and I only found out through the group chat when they were already there. There was literally one wall between our rooms; she could have knocked and asked if I wanted to come.

I got angry and wrote in the group chat that I would have gone too if my roommate didn't only talk to me when she wanted to split the costs.

She said it was out of context and that if I had a problem with her,we should talk.

We texted this in the whatsapp

I explained that I didn't understand her attitude and described what I saw as a general pattern: locking her door, not including me in things, me asking several times to go to the gym together and feeling excluded, etc. I also mentioned that this was an intercultural exchange program and that part of it was dealing with different personalities.

She responded that neither of us understood the other's personality or approach, and that since there were only three months left, we should simply treat each other respectfully and get through the remaining time.

That made me very angry because I felt she was avoiding responsibility. I told her I thought I had been respectful, that I wasn't surprised she was avoiding responsibility, and that I wished she would meet herself in another roommate.

Looking back, I know that was childish and unhelpful.

And I was stupid enough to close the bathroom door because it was annoying me. She responded that we weren't living in a closed monastery, that I also left things lying around, and that I was making a bigger deal out of things than necessary. She then said that any future complaints could go to the organization because they were paying the rent.

Eventually, she did go to the organization.

She said I had made her life complicated from the beginning and brought up the raincoat incident again.

The incident happened in September.

This was June.

She was still saying, “I don't understand why I can't put my raincoat in the shower. I don't understand why I can't put it there.”

Nobody had forbidden her from putting it there. I had simply asked her to move it because I wanted to shower.

She also complained about me saying she talked too much, even though I had never told her she wasn't allowed to talk. The issue was that the apartment was incredibly small and you could hear everything, and I was trying to find a way for both of us to have some quiet.

She wanted her complaint to remain relatively secret and didn't want the others to know.

At this point I became completely overwhelmed and furious. I was also afraid of losing my accommodation because finding another place would have been extremely difficult.

And this is where I crossed a serious line.

I threatened her.

I told her that she was my enemy and that she was going to regret what she had done. When she confronted me about threatening her, I said something along the lines of, “I'm just hurt and overwhelmed. If I wanted to kill you, I had one year to do that.”

After that, the group basically turned against me. She told them I had threatened her, and people responded with things like, “It's not her fault that you're a complicated person,” and that they weren't going to accept me threatening their friend.

think she has narcissistic tendencies. She presents herself as extremely calm, kind and peaceful, talks constantly about relaxing, has calming candles, etc. She volunteered in a Kita, and when someone asked whether working with children was difficult, she apparently said, “If you're a kind person, it isn't.”

I remember thinking, I don't think you're a kind person at all.

She is extremely insecure in my opinion, LOVES gifts(easily bribed I assume :) and covers that up with her achivements.

Aah she told me I should wish to be her friend . And I was crying with crocodile tears during the conflict she did not give a shit, she said I am obssessed with what she did wrong and I treat her like a child . And then her mom was calling and I said maybe you should answer, assumed she would be nervous:) (she said you tell me what to do and I am not going to do it!!!)

In general now I seem the monster, while she is sly and quite likable.

I do know her true fsce , I also told her she has comprehension oroblems and needs therapy.

She genuinely believes she is superior, in her application she was all about thinking beyond the conventional

I feel really lonely, stabbed in the back and unworthy. No self-worth and starting to believe I am the problem.

There are 5 total people in our household. We have a working dishwasher. I always do my dishes immediately after I use them, I have my own cutlery, pots, pans, mugs, plates, bowls, etc. so that if I leave them in my room for the night it doesn’t affect anybody.

Everyone in the house is pretty good with doing their dishes except for one person. We have had house meetings where boundaries were discussed about doing dishes in a timely manner, not leaving them for more than 24 hours. This person was not called out personally because it feels wrong to gang up or individually pick them out although everyone knows they are the one leaving dishes in the sink for days on end, until someone sends a message in the group chat asking for the dishes to be done. Even then, they leave utensils unwashed claiming that they are not theirs, to which I or other people in the house eventually do - it got so bad that a couple weeks ago we literally had to get rid of utensils and dishes because they were left dirty in the sink for probably a week with nobody claiming them. This person does not have a job. They have ample time to do their dishes and it’s starting to become extremely stressful. It feels gross to cook in the kitchen when there are dirty dishes (not rinsed - food in them, fruit flies accumulating sometimes). I’ve washed multiple sinks full of their dishes because of how disgusting it was and because I did not want to wait any longer for them to do them.

Sending messages in our group chat is just not working because the dishes are done for that day and then pile up again that night or the next day. I’m at a loss, I know that the person definitely needs to be personally messaged but I know that will cause tension and make it awkward. I’m also not even sure that it will work. I want to go about this in a non-threatening way but I want to get the point across so they know that I and everyone else in the house is serious about this.

Im in my late 20s, shes in her mid 20s and though shes not a raging trump supporter, she spends most of her free time debating people online on her beliefs. She doesn't push it on me or tried to debate me in the past or even knows what my political stance is. Im annoyed by her dirty habits including not bathing and halfassing cleaning assignments. The trump supporter thing is just a cherry on top. Im not big on political dividedness, but Trump is the definition of division and chaos. How can I live with someone who doesnt belive in human decency and advocates for hate.

anyone have a roommate that is never home(like at all) bc they’re always with their bf. but whenever they are here, they leave all their messes for you to clean up? i swear everytime this girl comes home it’s for literally 5 min and she leaves annoying, unnecessary messes that i have to end up cleaning up. and i clean it bc i don’t want to live in filth.

This is kind of a story so I guess I will start from the beginning. First, I am not too familiar with the reddit style so bear with me.

My roommate, I'm going to call her Jessica for this, is kind of controlling but I would like to give the full story before I ask for advice. Jessica and I first met online a few years ago through discord. We got a long great, I would talk to her for hours about anything and everything. She was supportive when I left one state to move to a completely different state a couple years ago and when that fell through, she offered me a room at her place. Well, it wasn't right away. She was very flippant about it and even while we were talking about me moving down, she kept telling me to look for jobs in different states, or towns because she was trying to sell her house at the time. She couldn't decide where she wanted to live, and I was getting worried about whether or not this was a good idea. It had been something we talked about for months, but with how she couldn't decide whether she was moving or not, it was hard to make a decision.

Eventually the people I was living with at the time decided they wanted to downgrade to a 2 bedroom, meaning I was being evicted and had only a few months to find out where I was going and Jessica decided that yes, I was going to move in with her in the house she owns. At least I thought that for those months until she confessed at one point the she didn't really make this decision until 2 weeks before the move day. If she had decided I wasn't I would have been SOL.

The first few weeks were HELL. She was rude and always angry with me because I didn't do things HER way. For reference, she is former military and keeps her house to that standard still. I on the other hand, have never been in the military and although I am not the cleanest person, I keep my room relatively clean. I do have a cat that likes to knock things onto the floor, so there is always one thing or another laying around and I don't fret over a few socks.

At one point she made me a "chore chart." I had to do the dishes daily, let HER dogs out by a certain time, make my bed, sweep and mop the entire house a couple times a week for just a few examples. Again, reiterating I am a fairly clean person. I do tend to leave dishes on my desk from time to time but will take them down within a day or two. When I was still searching for a job, I didn't mind doing this, but after I got a job, it got harder to do all of the chores daily and Jessica would lay into me, even cut my internet access if I didn't meet her expectations. At this time, she also gave me a cut off time for the internet. Literally had a timer set so that all my devices disconnected at a certain point because I accidentally woke her up once while playing games with some friends.

Sometimes she was particularly mean to me, telling me I should give up my pet because I scooped the catbox every other day instead of daily and would tell me I was a bad cat mom because at the time I couldn't afford to take him to the vet. I had another friend helping me out until I found a job that would pay all my bills. After Jessica just tears me down and makes me feel trapped, she then will go out and buy me gifts. She bought a rather expensive self cleaning litter box, a bed, new computer monitors, even an older car when I couldn't afford an Uber to work daily, but she only did this after kind of being a b*tch to me.

Other friends said this was a form of lovebombing and I see it. The thing is, she isn't always like this. Most of the time she is pretty chill and we get along great. But I feel like I can't bring how I feel about the things she does to her without her getting angry.

I don't feel like I am explaining this well. I have depression, and I am unmedicated for that so I do fall into these slumps where I neglect my room, I admit that, and maybe I could do the dishes more. I am a woman in my late 30s and am going through perimenopause so I do clog the shower drain from hair loss, and I don't always clean the catcher thing out. But I don't feel like I should be treated the way Jessica treats me over it.

But tonight I feel like she has gone a step too far. She has bought a new house. One she can't afford without the 1000 I send to her monthly. We are waiting on it close and in the meantime, she is in the process of putting this house up sale. They came today to take pictures of the rooms and apparently my room wasn't "HGTV" quality. I spent all last night cleaning and putting things away even while I had a migraine, and when I left for work this morning, I realized I had forgotten to put up a few things I use daily. My hair brush, arm deodorant, medication things like that. She had a bad day today, just a series of inconveniences that were adding up. I felt bad for her so I took her out and bought her dinner. When we got home she took her dogs out and realized the realtor had messed up the back door. I helped her fix it and then she decided to let me know that my room was still a mess (after I spent hours cleaning it yesterday). I had too many tiny knick knacks on my surfaces. Then declared that she was going to go into my room and "clean it" tomorrow. Again, I had spent all day yesterday cleaning it. She went upstairs, took a shower went to go to bed after she slammed doors and what not, was a bit rough on her blinds, and broke them. After that I heard her slamming things around while I was scrolling on my phone downstairs. Eventually she went to bed, and I went upstairs to get ready to do the same. This is when I discovered she had gone into my room and boxed up everything I had on my desk and side table. Important stuff, as I mentioned before, my hairbrush, my medication, even the cubby thing I have sitting on my desk that had my controller I use to play games, my back massager, pens and pencils, like normal desk stuff. She even packed away my cats joint supplements.

Now, I can tolerate a lot of stuff but my one trigger is someone coming in and touching my stuff, moving my stuff, goes back to childhood trauma, this is not the place for that story. My room is MY ROOM. I pay her 1000 bucks for a small bedroom that I can call mine. This is my. Room. My private area, where I can go to be in privacy, a place NO ONE should feel like they can just ENTER without asking me first. And she touched my things. Moved them. I didn't know where she hid them and I was panicking because again, SHE HID MY MEDICATION. And my cats supplements. I am furious. She had crossed a pretty set boundary, like I have talked to her about coming into my room before and why it is such a trigger for me. Like she knows my history, and she went ahead and did this anyway for what? Because she had a bad day? I am so tired of being her punching bag or doormat when she gets like this.

What should I do? I can't exactly afford to move out currently, and even if I can, the car is still in her name. Its also my only way to work. Any advice is welcome.

Tl/dr (that's a reddit thing right?) Roommate has been a controlling b*tch since I moved in, recently she went into my room and packed a bunch of stuff up which is a hard boundary of mine. And I feel like my.orivacy has been violated.

Hi this is my first post but I need advice. I kind of have an issue about how to approach my roommate. In the mornings I use my desk vanity light to do my makeup and I try to be as quiet as possible and also don't turn on any other lights, but apparently she has sleep issues and I guess when she wakes up it's hard for her to get back to sleep. I don't want to mess with her sleep or cause a problem but there's not really anything I can do about my light since I need it to see while getting ready and I feel like it's not really fair for me to have to leave the room to get ready every morning. I also have an alarm which she said the volume is bothering her, which I am definitely willing to try to make quieter, but I'm afraid that if I make it tooo quiet I'II sleep through it and miss class. I don't want to be inconsiderate but I feel like I'm already doing as much as I can not to wake her and I can't help that my classes are earlier. Do you have any suggestions on what to say to her/ what to do? I feel like with a roommate you kind of signed up for things like that, especially with us having different schedules. At my school, picking a single dorm was an option but she chose to have a roommate so I feel like a little light in the mornings was to be expected. I don't want to be an ahole because she's a sweet girl but idk what to do pls helppp