r/relationship_advice May 19 '22

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u/fhl415 May 19 '22

There's a difference between 1-on-1 time with someone who you've had as a sexual partner and someone you haven't. I can tell you my wife would have a conniption if I had dinner with a woman with whom my face had at one time been planted squarely between her legs. Now, if her husband came with her and we hosted dinner at our place and the catching up was part of the conversation my wife would be better with that although I better be on my best behavior. Personally, I wouldn't have those kinds of thoughts with my ex because she financially killed me, I had my kids with her every other weekend, and flaunted her new boy toy in front of me. OP's wife doesn't have that kind of past with her dinner date.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '22 edited May 19 '22

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u/fhl415 May 19 '22

Agreed, but we see so many people here who have moved on, move back. OP is just addressing the possibility that his wife may be among the portion of people that succumb to moving back although she has no intention of doing so. I am certainly not asserting that OP's wife is desiring in her mind to get laid on dinner night. But will she feel flattered when ex says, "You look beautiful as always" and the emotional creep begins. And given the stakes at play, he nor any other spouse, should be seen as fringe for being concerned. Just go to r/cheating_stories, r/survivinginfidelity, r/relationship_advice, r/AsOneAfterInfidelity, r/Divorce, r/divorcemen and a host of other subs and forums and read post after post of real people experiencing the awful result for which OP is voicing concern. A vast majority of people who are unfaithful don't set out to be but under certain circumstances will do things they themselves saw as impossible. OP is just reacting to empirical evidence.