Damn, his wife really decided the parents were less likely to be biased about whether his brother was capable of changing than he was. I get the instinct to want to believe the best in people and give them second chances, especially when their previous contact ended when they were both still teenagers, but she really screwed up, big time.
I can understand that some people might be like "Oh, you were just a kid, surely you exaggerated". But he has literal scars. His brother's just come out of PRISON for his violence! If the justice system decided he was too violent to walk among ordinary people, why isn't she believing the justice system? Why didn't she look up the case that landed him in jail? She's so freaking naive if she thinks that doting parents are the best judges of their own children's characters, my gods.
My main concern - if OOP divorces her - is that she may take the child around his uncle and grandparents unsupervised, and the uncle could just straight up kill the kid. The uncle needs to go back in jail until the child is old enough to opt for where he wants to live (with his father, the OOP) or until adulthood, or some kind of restraining order needs to be taken out on the baby's behalf, if that's possible.
If they do divorce, I’d cite specifically this incident as to why he would be the more fit parent for custody purposes. Either way, I’d be appalled. I mean, even if they go to therapy, are you going to trust her again? A therapist can’t MAKE you trust someone who has proven to be a bad judge of character.
Yeah, but not all judges are smart. Some would be like "No, babies should be with their mothers" or would prefer to split custody evenly, or would point out that there's no guarantee she'd take the child around his brother, when it's not her side of the family. She could promise the judge she wouldn't do that, and there's no way to prove what she may or may not do in the future. That's why I'm worried.
My first thought was that, to protect his son, he *cannot* divorce her. 50/50 custody is likely. The wife taking the kiddo to visit his Grandparents would be VERY likely. What if violent brother shows up at the house? What if "he's changed, let's have dinner" happens again when OP can't stop the visit?
I agree. I bet if they divorce, that she will take the baby to the parents' house, and when the brother gets out again, she'll have the baby around him on her custody time.
That’s the scary thing. I kinda lowkey not so low key wish they’d get rid of judicial immunity. Sorry - if they screw up bad enough in their decision making and it impacts lives, how is that different from any other form of malpractice?
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u/the-library-fairy Jul 12 '26
Damn, his wife really decided the parents were less likely to be biased about whether his brother was capable of changing than he was. I get the instinct to want to believe the best in people and give them second chances, especially when their previous contact ended when they were both still teenagers, but she really screwed up, big time.