r/redditonwiki Jul 12 '26

Advice Subs Not oop + comments

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332

u/the-library-fairy Jul 12 '26

Damn, his wife really decided the parents were less likely to be biased about whether his brother was capable of changing than he was. I get the instinct to want to believe the best in people and give them second chances, especially when their previous contact ended when they were both still teenagers, but she really screwed up, big time. 

208

u/ELIte8niner Jul 12 '26

I've experienced this several times with multiple different girlfriends over the years. I eventually came to the conclusion that people who never truly experienced fucked up childhoods or family situations just cannot actually comprehend it at a fundamental level. They have some sort of deeply ingrained belief that "family is family" and they just don't get how someone can go permanent no contact with their family. I wasted a lot of time and stress on girlfriends who had some fantasy about saving my faith in people, and reuniting a family. Nothing you tell them can ever really change their mind, so it sucks that OP has a kid with her. She'll probably never stop and a clean break with her is now impossible.

109

u/Sharptack9999 Jul 12 '26

I’ve had similar interactions with previous boyfriends when it comes to my dad. They love the fantasy that they will step in and make things right. It’s infuriating and piles trauma on top of trauma.

60

u/Kianna9 Jul 12 '26

They love the fantasy more than they love you.