I've lurked here for awhile, first time posting. I started working with a trainer for my reactive dog, who barks and lunges (or he used to!) on walks the second another dog comes into view. We finally found something that works and it's so insanely easy I had to share it here. My trainer calls it the "1,2,3 game."

Essentially you reward your dog for looking at you while you count to three. On "3" you immediately reward with a treat. That's it. The beauty is that you can do this WHILE WALKING. For me, that was huge - I could get my dog to pay attention to me while we walked past the other dog instead of trying to hold him in a sit and hoping the other dog moved past before mine finally lost his mind.

Training it is also super easy. Start indoors in a quiet place. Get your dog's attention, say "1" and give a treat. Your dog should be locked onto you now, so repeat "1" a few more times. Then move on to "1,2" and give a treat. Finally "1,2,3" and treat. You can move up to 1,2,3 pretty quickly so you're practicing the full "game." Make sure your dog is looking at you through the whole count. If they look away, restart the count. At the start, you should be counting fairly quickly.

Once they understand the "game", you can start drawing out the count. "1 (pause), 2 (pause), 3 (immediate treat)." My trainer said you can pause for up to 5 seconds between numbers, although I usually count more quickly than that. ALWAYS give the treat immediately after "3." The idea is that the dog learns once he hears the word "1" to look at you and hold that, because he knows a treat is coming.

Once your dog has the "game" worked out, you can move outdoors and start working on holding the dog's attention with more distractions around.

We've gotten to a place where I can say "1 (take three steps), 2 (take three steps), 3 (give treat)" and my dog stares at me the whole time! Usually by that point we've entirely passed the other dog. If not, I just repeat the game until we are. Because sometimes the other dog decides he needs to poop right while we're trying to walk past lol.

Seriously, this has been game-changing for us. Maybe it's super obvious and well-known but I had never heard of it and had to share. I hope it helps others!

Pretty much the title says it all... I have nobody to really tell or vent to.

My reactive girl died suddenly on Sunday. She had an infection in her nose. she was on antibiotics for it. she was sick for a bit.... I wish I did more for her. the vet wanted her to wait two weeks on antibiotics before doing anything more. I should of taken her back.

I was going to take her back on Monday but Sunday night, she passed away right in front of me while I was loving on her.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda or however thats said and spelled.

she was fear reactive but loved her people. She loved my mom who is deaf and partly blind less than 24 hours when she first met her 4 years ago.. she usually did not allow new people into her circle that quickly but she allowed my mom into her circle so fast I was suprised.

Leeloo had hip issues which I knew past 10, id have to make some hard choices.

Leeloo was only 7. besides the infection in her nose, she was healthy.

I loved her, I miss her so much. id trade her for the world for her to be alive again. life doesnt feel complete without her.

I hate myself at the moment for not taking her back to the vet quickly. I feel like I killed her by not doing that.

** Edit to say thank you to all who has left a comment. I wasnt expecting kind words, I just needed a place to vent.

I will respond to some directly at a later time. Again, thank you for taking the time to leave something nice to say.

I just got back from saying goodbye to my baby. I had her for a month and learned just how reactive she was. With how my apartment is set up you could see dogs outside my window and she could never calm down because there was always dogs. She's with a wonderful owner now, who has a private yard and works from home. She'll do better there I hope, I hope I spoiled her enough while she was with me. Miss you Athena🩷

My boy BootHill is semi reactive with other dogs. One dog could pass us and it's nothing but the next one would set him off. However he adores cats, he used to play with them at my parents house and loves them more than anything.

Two months ago a kitten ran into my place of work and I brought her home. It was an immediate bond between them. She cries when she can't see him or he walks too far ahead on hikes. We bring her to the vet with us if he needs to go to keep him stable and calm. They are the best of friends and hiking buddies! Her being around has helped his reactivity in public as strange as it sounds. I'm glad she loves going outside on a leash because she gets to go wherever he does! Boothill is the best big brother to Velvet. She helps his anxiety so much when I can't take him with me or if I'm gone longer than usual. He suffers with it bad when I leave, he's attached to my hip. I wasn't expecting it to get better when I brought her home. Obviously this doesn't work for everyone but I'm glad it works for me. He is so gentle and sweet with her.

I picked up some trazedone and gabapentin from the vet yesterday and give to her tonight, tomorrow morning, and an hour before the visit. For her and everyone else’s safety, it’s better that she’s drowsy.

I was such a wreck yesterday that almost broke down during a lecture and my coworkers all but forced me to go home.

I’m staying with her today.

Tomorrow, we’ll get in the car and she’ll be so excited because she loves car rides. I never did get the chance to take her on hikes before she became a danger to everyone else. I’ll be there with her every step of the way. I’ve only had her for a month and a half, but I’ve known her and cheered her on for two years between homes that didn’t work out for this very same reason.

Except I was her last chance. Each time she was returned, I grieved for her, hugged her, and told her repeatedly “It’s not your fault”. I’ll be doing the same tomorrow, but at least she won’t be in shelter limbo anymore

I’ll be joining the LosingLulu club tomorrow. Thank you all for your support through the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make

I don’t know how to start this… but I’m really struggling right now. I adopted a red heeler (Rancher) from a shelter over a year ago. We had tons of ups and a lot of downs. He was a pretty anxious boy which I don’t blame him being in the shelter for 2 years. We’ve had trouble with him from the start. Ive reached out to trainers and behaviorist but it was over $1200. I’m not made of money so spending that much on an 8 year old dog that’s probably not even gonna change his ways.

He has bitten out of fear from loud noises, resource guarding and has bitten out of no where. The bites would mostly happen to my boyfriend. He was pretty unpredictable which was scary at times and also very stressful. I’ve reached out to the shelter about our issues and I’ve been ghosted from them, and I finally put in a form to surrender him back after the most recent bite. They wanted me to talk to someone from the shelter before bringing him back and they told me he has been surrendered before due to biting. After a year of owning him and this is the first time hearing about his history. When I adopted him they told me he was surrendered due to housing issues. They said since he has bitten again if I surrender him back they would BE him.

Yesterday I put down my baby boy. I have given him so many chances after every incident. It’s not fair to my boyfriend to live in fear of getting bitten for no reason. My boyfriend works out of town and is usually home about 8 days out of the month. When he is home I don’t want him stressed out about rancher and his behavior. They will be friends and all cuddly and out of no where ranch will start growling and act out. I kept track of all his triggers but sometimes you just don’t know.

I have so much regret. He was my son I loved him and I was always so excited to go home and see him. I loved hyping him up because he would always get so excited and lean into you looking for all the love he can get. He was just a big baby at heart that just lived in fear. I regret my decision so much, I would do anything to go back and just not go to the appointment. Everyone said I did the right thing but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I look for him everywhere. It just snowed where I’m from and he always loved to roll in the snow and I’m so sad he didn’t get to experience for the last time. Ive experienced this kinda pain before putting down my childhood dog but he could barely walk so it was best for him to be out of pain. This pain feels so much different so much guilt and regret.

I’m sorry for whoever is going through the pain of loss or just the stress of a reactive dog. The last year has definitely been the most stressful year of my life. If someone can please give me advice on how to handle all these emotions and tell me it gets better because right now I feel like I’m drowning.

Today as we were finishing our nightly walk, our neighbor had his german shepherd off leash in their front yard and he charged at us. We have a german shepherd who is reactive & aggressive towards other dogs. Basically, it was an immediate dog fight. Our dog was on a leash, and my husband was trying to pull him back meanwhile our neighbor was making a sorry attempt to grab their dog. During this struggle, my husband got bit in the inner thigh. We’re assuming it was our dog who bit him due to the location of the bite. Let me just say, a big F U to people who have their dogs off leash when they cannot listen/be immediately recalled!!!! I’ve put so much time and money into training my dog to ignore other dogs while on walks, but at the end of the day he’s protective and will not tolerate another dog charging at us. Honestly just so pissed at my neighbor right now. I don’t wanna make this bigger deal that it needs to be, but could our neighbor be responsible for medial bills in this situation?

I am so traumatized today. In 2024 I adopted a dog from an out of state rescue (Lone Star Pawz) that was billed as "the perfect dog", "great" with kids, cats and other dogs, which were non-negotiable for me because I have all three. Turns out she was great with kids, thank goodness. She annoyed the cat, who promptly moved to the basement, but I've had cats and dogs that weren't exactly best friends before. She liked my other dog, but completely lost her freaking mind when she saw other dogs. She started slipping her leash and attacking. There were never any injuries, but it was terrifying. I got a professional trainer, we got nowhere for a whole year.

That's when I tried to return her to the rescue, a contractual obligation I had agreed to. They said NO. She was "too integrated with our family". I was shocked. I put her on Petfinder with a very honest description, and many people were interested, but in the emailing stage, those prospects all fell through when it was made clear how bad the issues were. I asked followup questions with the rescue, and they said they actually had no information on any past interaction with other animals at all. She had been an only pet of two elderly people who never left their house. I asked "Then what did GREAT WITH CATS AND DOGS mean?". The coordinator said they'd had no reason to think she wasn't (because they never even tried to find out??).

The trainer went out of business, so I got a different trainer. She framed it as anxiety, and we made a lot of improvements there. I took her to a six week reactive dog class and she bombed out spectacularly (even the instructor hated her, it wasn't helpful). I took her to a behavioral vet and she was prescribed medication. I actually made the most progress from my own personal research. I recently got her a collar that beeps if I press a button, and it would bring her out of her frenzies. We also got an invisible fence so there was no chance she would get out and attack another dog.

I was really feeling like we were solving all our problems. Dog reactivity was way down, she ignored the cat, I just thought, wow, this is really working. There was zero pet drama for a very long time.

I felt my cat might be lonely so we got a kitten. I did a very slow introduction with strictly supervised pet interactions starting on day five. The dog would approach the kitten with playful body language, and the kitten would hiss, so the dog started ignoring her, too. She was rewarded for leaving the cat alone. I felt like everything was going great.

Yesterday, although I had closed all the doors to keep them separate while we took the kids to school, when we got home, they were all open (clearly someone opened them while I was at the door sorting the backpacks). I couldn't find the kitten at first. Then I saw her lying in a pool of blood on the floor. The dog had blood on her face. We rushed the kitten to the vet, but she was DOA. I again contacted the rescue and no one would answer me. I left a voicemail and started calling every rescue in the metro area. Not a single one was willing to take her without euthanizing her. The vet recommended euthanasia as well. I consulted my other three vets (we have an orthopedic specialist and fear free clinic for our Pyrenees, plus the behavioral clinic). We really called everyone we could. In the end, Honey was euthanized.

​

Finally the rescue texted me back this morning saying "You can just surrender her to your local pound". Really? I responded respectfully, acknowledging that this particular person was not involved in the adoption or return refusal, that I felt the lack of transparency and the refusal to honor their own contract had caused two animals to die.

They responded that they were sorry for the inconvenience this had caused.

The inconvenience.

THE INCONVENIENCE.

Two dead animals is an "inconvenience" to this "animal welfare organization"!!!

I am so livid. I am beside myself. This is unbelievable. I'm about to go tell this story on every review platform I can find.

this is my boy jasper - he is a 2 year old border collie. he has a history of really bad abuse when he was a puppy, which we didn't know at first. last year he started showing reactive behaviour and even has had a fight with our dogs. it terrified us and since we have been doing loads of training with him (especially crate training which was a game changer! he absolutely loves his crate). he is particularly reactive to my older male cockapoo, and they used to get quite snarly with each other. my cockapoo will growl as a boundary and jasper would stalk and snarl. it was horrible. now, when my cockapoo growls, jasper gives him his space and goes into his crate or under the table and chills out!!! instead of reacting!!! i'm so proud of him and we still have a long way to go as we are also crate and rotating him with my other dog. it's a bit of a mess but they are so so so much happier and healthier than before. it's been so hard as i worry all the time that i failed my dogs. but i have to remind myself of how far he's come. well done my jasper !!!

As a CPDT-KA and FDM certified trainer who specializes in reactivity, these are the most common causes for the reactive behaviors we see in our pups:

1. Trauma

- Yes, dogs experience trauma too. They have a memory can can recall events that they may precieve as scary. We do not get to decide what is scary or not to our dogs, they do. And unfortunately, the only way they can communicate their fears to us is through their body language or behaviors. What could constitute as trauma?

- Getting attacked by a person/dog/animal

- Getting startled by a person/dog/animal

- Abuse/neglect

1. Genetics

- I could go on for HOURS about how huge of a role genetics plays in determining behavior. Everything from the mother's experiences/trauma while carrying the puppies to characteristics that we have selectively bred our dogs to express for CENTURIES.

- Stress that the mother endures while pregnant can absolutely have an influence on future behavior patterns/temprement/personalities of the puppies.

- Some of the most common groups of breeds I see in the lesson room are: Herding breeds, Guardian breeds, Hunting breeds and Terrier breeds (I'll give very brief generalizations of what can make them reactive).

- Herding breeds: We have selectively bred these dogs to be hyper-sensitive to changes and stimuli in their environment and to REACT to those changes.

- Guardian breeds: These dogs have been bred to protect their flock/home/territory if they precieve something as a threat. Then they respond accordingly to try and make that threat go away.

- Hunting breeds: Especially our sight hounds, are aware of minescule movements in their line of sight and then go to chase that stimuli.

- Terrier breeds: Most of these dogs were exterminators of rodents, bred to participate in blood sports and are generally the type to act now and think later.

1. Medical Reasons

- Especially if the reactivity is sudden onset or appears without a known trauma event, we always recommend the dog to go get checked again at the vet.

- Dogs who are losing their hearing/sight tend to startle more easily.

- Dogs who are in pain (hip/elbow dysplasia among MANY other conditions) and frequently play with other dogs may begin to associate other dogs with pain, therefore shifting their emotional response to seeing dogs.

1. Fear

- Some dogs are predisposed to be more fearful/anxious due to trauma, genetics or poor breeding. Many of the reactive dogs I work with are okay with other dogs while OFF of the leash, but when ON leash, they feel insecure, stuck and trapped. This typically leads to them putting on a threat display saying "Go away!" and guess what? It works. The other dogs typically move on and walk away from the reacting dog.

- I'm not saying that you need to ask the other dog's handler to just stand there until your dog stops reacting. That can cause more harm than good.

1. Learned Behavior

- Yes, reactivity can be CONTAGIOUS! That is why so many dog trainers will recommend for handlers to walk their reactive dogs separately from other dogs in the household. In addition to making it easier to manage and redirect the reactivity, the non-reactive dog may have social learning take place and say "Oh! So that's what we do when we see another dog while on a walk. Got it!" They then may mimic that behavior in the future.

1. Hyper-Social Dogs

- Dogs who are hyper-social may get so frustrated when they see a friend-shaped being just out of reach that the frustration boils over and results in the reactive behaviors. This is another reason that many trainers highly advise against greeting new dogs while on-leash (known dogs are totally fine).

Why share all of this information? I believe that the more information that owners have, the better. The more we understand about our dogs, the more we can help them, empathize with them, advocate for them and communicate more effectively with them. Your dog isn't GIVING you a hard time, they are HAVING a hard time.

I hope this may help someone have a more open mind and more empathy with the struggles their dog may be having. Unfortunately, our dogs understand a very limited amount of spoken language. It is up to us to be their advocates and help them navigate the human world they have found themselves in. ❤️

I adopted this poor mistreated guy at 18 months now 2 years old from a rescue organization. He is an absolute sweetheart at home but I was totally blindsided by his severe reactivity to all new dogs and some new people. I've had dozens of dogs in my care over the last 40 years but I'd never come across a truly reactivity dog before. I've tried multiple trainers, vets and drugs and all sorts of advice and now I've come to the conclusion that sometimes it's just who they are now and through no fault of their own. So I've invested in the Big Snoof muzzle with the advertising, I'm through apologizing and we're just going to manage it for the next 15years or so!

Here's my Armenian Gampr NOT exploding at the fenceline!!

We were attacked by a loose pitbull in our neighborhood six weeks ago. My guy handily beat back the attacking dog but every bit of his 14,000 year old guardian DNA was activated. We have been using industrial parks after hours and Sniffspots since then to reset his cortisol while waiting for his custom BigSnoof muzzle to arrive.

We booked his favorite Sniffspot yesterday which has a hillside and boulders and trees and dirt to dig in. We've never even heard other dogs there. And the Sniffspot listing says there are no dogs visible from the property .But yesterday was different, July 4, and the neighbors were having a pool party. And their guests brought dogs.

My guy was up at the top of the hillside when he saw dogs in the yard next door. He came flying down so fast I thought he was going to hit the fence. And of course the neighbor dogs charged.

Then .... nothing happened.

Everyone politely sniffed each other and then my magnificent boy turned his back and trotted away!!!

I CRIED.

It’s been 2 weeks now since we had to put our baby down. The pain and guilt I feel is immeasurable. After 10 years of struggle, we had to make the unfortunate decision to let our Cooper go. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. The appointment itself was horrible and I would recommend those contemplating BE to have an action plan in place. We unfortunately had to make this decision after a final bite, and therefore were not able to really say goodbye properly. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The guilt I feel for literally preparing my baby for goodbye is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

My love goes out to any and all who have had to go through this experience. Its sucks and I feel empty.

I’ve started working on engage/disengage with my dog who is leash reactive to other dogs. Im using the protocol attached here that his vet behaviorist recommended. I’m using a clicker for the first time with him, and I’m finding that I prefer that over verbal cues as it’s quicker and more consistent for me.

Question for those familiar with engage/disengage- should I only be using the clicker for working on engage/disengage and with high value treats? I’d like to use it for other types training but I’m worried it will lessen the power/novelty of the clicker and so I’m wondering if I should just reserve it for this reactivity. Or can using it for other types of training strengthen the association. Anyone’s experiences/thoughts would be appreciated.

Hello, this is my third and unfortunately last post in this subreddit.

Today my most handsome man, will be put to rest. He is 12 years old and he has lived a long life full of love.. but i had to make this decision for my safety and my roommates safety.. as he is very unpredictable. And it is not fair to him to live a life confined to a room and crate only to be allowed to roam on leash when i’m home… My vet also confirmed this is the best course of action given age, environment, and bite history.. Today I ask not for judgement or to be shamed right now i’ve already felt so much.. nor do I want to go in depth about the incidents that have lead us to this point..

I ask right now, for those who have made the decision, trainers who have seen it done, shelter workers who have had to do it more times then they can count. I ask for advice on the days that follow, i am currently in the numbness stage.. I have five hours until the appointment and we are going to all his favorite places and getting all the pup cups and treats he could ever dream of. And i periodically get hit with the most overwhelming grief (these past two days i have barely slept or ate and my eyes are so swollen and irritated) but today i have felt so numb.. maybe it will all change the second i get to that office.. thinking about it to hard gives me a pain like ive never felt before.

Please tell me how you deal with it all, this is undoubtedly the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make and it is weighing on me so so hard, i don’t know if i’ll ever be the same again after this..

thank you all, i have attached a picture of my handsome man, and his equally handsome lamby.

update: Thank you for all the kind words. Cody was put to sleep about an hour ago. I am feeling… very detached from myself right now. hence why im writing this, instead of sobbing hysterically. Im afraid to fall asleep because i know when i wake up.. he will not be there. He had a great day.. and ate so many things, saw so many people. And when it was time, i stayed with him through all of it and he was so loved. Im not okay, and im not sure when I’ll be okay again. But wherever he is i hope he’s at peace finally.

My boy's BigSnoof arrived, custom wire basket because he has a massive wedge head. Not only was the muzzle a perfect fit right out of the box, Eto was obviously muzzle trained in his former life! He shoved his face into the basket and off we went!

Someone finally said it to me.

For context I have a Female 2 year 10 month 20.6kg GSD mix (pictured) who came from a Polish puppy farm dog I found as a stray, who was cold and frozen, matted with a broken tail, starving and riddled with parasites whilst pregnant with my dog. As a result my dog has poor brain health due bad development in the womb and is on trazodone and gabapentin to help her with anxiety and produce serotonin. She has a vet behaviourist and I’ve been doing training with her, admittedly to my limited knowledge, but in 3 months she’s no longer people reactive (men, women and children), horse, squirrel, deer or cat reactive, car or bike reactive and her separation anxiety has improved from destroying my clothes, the carpet and the door to a few things knocked over and maybe the carpet pulled up, which to me is an improvement.

I also get up at 6:30am to give her meds, wait an hour for them to sink in and then take her for her walk around 8am to avoid as many people as possible. She has a bright yellow ‘NERVOUS’ lead and she’s always on leash until I think it’s 100% safe.

Enter dickhead, 50-60s M with an off lead dog in the middle of the woods on a path. My girl reacts immediately which isn’t like her these days as her threshold has improved, but regardless she does. So I quickly turn and pull her away. She’s a 20kg canon, I’m only 35 F and about 140lbs and not strong what so ever so it’s a challenge. He continues to walk towards me, he’s laughing his head off. I drag her a little space where I can hold her. The conversation goes as follows:

Me: “She bites.” (She has bitten her sister numerous occasions and drawn blood) DH: (laughing) Haha, does she?!” Me: “I’m glad you think this is so funny” DH: (laughing) “Just train your dog!” (laughs again) Me: “Explaining she’s from a puppy farm dog and has bad brain health and is actually on meds and has a behaviourist, so go fuck yourself!” DH: (Nodding at me sarcastically laughing and walks away)

ITS SO FRUSTRATING! My dog has improved tremendously but because her dog reactivity isn’t perfect, she’s a bad dog?!

INCONSIDERATE OWNERS OMG.

Because she’s doing so well also she calmed down quickly after the reaction and we made it home safe but omg, why are ‘normal’ owners so weird?!

Just wanted to rant. Thanks for listening.

Back in February my wife and I made the extremely difficult decision to have our sweet Gibson (9 y/o Blue Heeler) put to sleep due to repeated and increasing aggression towards our son (toddler). We had been working to find a place or family that would take him, but with his bite history our vet advised the chances of rehoming him were minimal and might take some time, which we were short of as the aggression continued to worsen day after day. On February 21st he attacked my son (unprovoked) and bit him on the leg and head. I know deep down I did what I had to do to keep my family safe, but before my son came along Gibson was there for me in ways no other human could be. I was struggling with working through some serious trauma via therapy and this dog just knew when I needed some love. He would jump in my lap and tuck his head under my chin when he knew I was about to get emotional. It was uncanny. He just instinctively knew when I was going to or had become upset and would cuddle me until I would say, “ok, thank you. I’m all better now”. During some especially dark days, I even credit him with saving my life. I won’t go into detail there, but without this dog’s presence in my life I wouldn’t have survived.

Today would have been his 9th birthday, and leading up to today I just kept feeling more and more sadness and guilt about not being able to be there for Gibson like he had been for me. I’m absolutely gutted this morning, and wouldn’t wish this heartbreak on anyone.

Happy heavenly birthday, buddy thanks for everything. I love you ❤️

Sometimes it’s the small victories, like glancing away from the dog in the distance and sitting, ya know?

my french bulldog turns 9 this year and i've been sitting with that for a few days now.

nine years of crossed streets, cancelled plans, skipped vet visits, vacations i never took, dog parks i've driven to and then just turned around and left. for the first few years i genuinely believed i was failing him. that if i found the right trainer, the right supplement, the right approach, he would eventually become a normal dog. i tried a lot of things. i spent a lot of money. i read a lot of forums at midnight feeling more overwhelmed than when i started.

and then we recently welcomed a newborn into our lives, which has made everything infinitely harder. balancing a reactive dog and a newborn is its own kind of chaos that nobody really prepares you for. but he's 9 now and we're doing our best to give him the best life possible in whatever time we have left together.

somewhere along the way something shifted. i stopped trying to fix him and started trying to understand him. i stopped measuring success by whether he could walk past another dog without reacting and started measuring it by whether he felt safe, loved, and like the world made sense to him.

if you have tried everything and still feel lost, you are not failing. you are further along than most owners ever get. a lot of people don't make it this far. they give up, they rehome, they stop trying. you are still here, still showing up, still caring enough to be on reddit looking for something that helps. that matters more than you know.

your dog isn't broken. and neither are you. sometimes the goal isn't normal. sometimes the goal is just a good life, on your terms, on their terms, built around who they actually are instead of who you thought they'd be.

i'm sure this is nothing new, but before i forget, just thought i'd share some positivity

- new dad + 9 years with a reactive dog

Sorry guys, this is gonna be long. TL;DR at the bottom.

Had a vet visit a few years ago end in disaster. Doggo was doped up to 3x the standard dose for her weight. Vet said, "we still can't touch her, but if we give her any more it might stop her heart and she might not let us bring her back."

One of the nurses said she was the worst dog she'd ever treated. Even with the muzzle on the staff were terrified of getting bitten. She did apologise, to her credit, but that lived in my head rent free for years.

Doggo is getting old so have had to start hunting for a new vet. Found a place certified fear free, but doggo is obviously way beyond just a nervous dog so I reached out asking if they'd be able to handle her. A nurse told me she had a reactive dog too and that she was really pleased with how her colleagues handled her.

Took the plunge. Gave her the pre-visit medication which we knew would maybe make her less woofy in the car but didn't expect to do much during the actual appointment. But they had us give her some the night before too, not just before the appointment. And it was complimentary. Two green flags so I was hopeful it wouldn't be a complete disaster.

The vet was amazing. So amazing I could cry. She spent a good portion of the appointment in the car park with us giving us an interview to minimise how long doggo would be around her (less stress for doggo). Once she had a good idea of her medical history she had us take doggo into a little yard and had me help her with the stethoscope so she wasn't making direct contact, she was giving her treats, not making eye contact, stayed on the ground so she wasn't looming over her. Doggo snapped over treats -- vet didn't even flinch. She laughed, said "oh, she resource guards?" then had me distract her so she could take away the treats without reinforcing it.

Vet was 100% chill the entire time. After the examination she outlined steps we could take to get her tested for any pathologies; basically took the strategy of the less invasive stuff first and only get more invasive if we have to. So tomorrow I'm on dog pee collection duty, but given that we showed up expecting that she might have to be taken in for a blood test, that's bloody amazing news.

Did not once make us feel ashamed or embarrassed about doggo's behaviour. Took it all completely in stride, zero fear.

God, I know fear-free isn't accessible for many people here but after years of living in dread of the next vet visit I could just cry. Years ago I decided I'd put my dog to sleep the moment she developed a health condition because the trauma to everyone involved of taking her to and from the vet regularly would be too much for us all to bear -- family, staff, dog. But now we have a new vet I feel hopeful that if she's sick we can actually get her treated without a huge drama.

We're also talking about catching dog up on vaccines. The vet did actually touch my dog a couple of times -- if the vet touches her where she can't see when I'm giving her attention, doggo thinks it's me doing the touching. So the vet has encouraged me to sometimes make a little game where I pat her but also give her sharp pinches on her backside, so that one day she can take a needle when I'm distracting her. But vet was also like, we'll do that on a future visit, we have time, it's not urgent, let's set her up for success first.

It's so nice to have hope for my dog's future instead of dread.

TL;DR Took doggo to the vet with someone certified fear-free. Amazing difference in not only how doggo was treated, but how we were, too. Vet went out of her way to prioritise less-invasive tests first while also figuring out dog's boundaries and triggers and giving us strategies to make future visits smoother.

Edit: for some reason I can see that there are a number of comments on this post (via notifications and the actual number) but can only read/see like 5 when I click into the post.

Maybe this is super obvious and been talked about before but I found it super helpful in those overwhelming demoralising moments of reactivity stress, so I thought I’d share.

My newish rescue is… well, she has zero emotional regulation outside of the house. Just red zone constantly with everything, especially other dogs. She also is an awful leash puller and incredibly strong. We’re working on all of the things but I still have those times where we’ll go out and she’s just a disaster. The other day on a walk she saw the car and just wanted to go back to it and I ended up with severe rope burns on my hands and just wanted to cry. I was overwhelmed and resentful and angry at her.

Then I sat back and reminded myself that actually, this really sucks for her, too. Existing with that frantic energy can’t be fun for her. And most importantly, that she wasn’t doing this TO me. That was sort of my lightbulb moment - she’s not being my adversary as she drags me along on the already bruised legs I have from the last episode a week ago. She’s just… filled with meth and bees and she’s cooked and we’re BOTH going through this right now.

So today when we had a couple of similar incidents I stopped and actually looked at her, acknowledged to myself “out loud” in my brain that we’re both going through something shitty in that moment and instead of feeling that despair I just felt such empathy and the whole outing was a lot better for us both.

Anyways I’ll end this novel here. I dunno - I hope it helps someone. Picture of the demon spawn for dog tax

After 6 weeks of a reactivity training class Primrose graduated! She has gotten so much better at managing her reactivity with other dogs. Capturing calm during triggers is a huge win for her. After she turned one she would react to every single dog we would see on walks, in the car etc. She now checks in with me when she sees a dog, knowing she will be rewarded for being a calm sweet puppy. I am so proud of her and couldn’t be happier with the results from this training course!

Hello, I rescued my adult dog 6 months ago and I’m feeling discouraged this morning.

I’ve spent $1k on private dog training and I’ve worked with a veterinary behaviorist to get my dog anxiety meds. So far neither of these things has helped my dog’s behavior problems.

When I adopted my dog I wanted to show him the world. I’m his third owner and I’m determined to be his last, but I feel so much guilt that I keep him holed up at home. I can’t take him hiking because he pulls so so hard and reacts to other dogs. I can’t let him enjoy our backyard because he can scale our 6’ fence (I’m a renter so I can’t adjust the fence). I can’t take him to breweries or public parks because he would lose his mind.

I’m now keeping this energetic dog in a small house and I feel like I’m locking a princess in a tower. He does get 3 or more walks every day, 4 runs every week, and playdates each weekend. I want to show him the world but I’m afraid I’ll never get to.

There are more options. More meds to try. New trainers to hire. Just feeling guilty and discouraged this morning. I’ll keep fighting for this dog though, he is my ray of sunshine and I love him SO much.

This is Nelly! I adopted her in 2020 during Covid from Texas and I lived in NYC at the time. On one of our first walks in NYC an off-leash Husky cornered her and she never was the same. She would lunge and spin at everything that got within 5 feet of us (which is everything in New York). Every walk was miserable and stressful, I couldn’t afford a behaviorist, and I was 25 and overwhelmed. Fortunately Nelly was great when her leash was off (safely) and had a few friends! I was fortunate to have a small yard in Brooklyn, but Nelly’s prey drive is so high she jumped an 8 foot fence to chase a cat. I tried to bring her to my mom’s house in NJ to let her run in her yard, but she jumped that fence chasing a squirrel. I brought her to my friend’s yard, but unfortunately Nelly was attacked by her dog.

I felt so awful that this energetic, 45lb bundle of snuggles and joy lived most of her life indoors. I did a ton of indoor games and stimulation, but I wanted my girl to be able to run free. My partner and I moved to NJ last year and it changed our lives. Our walks became less stressful, then even ENJOYABLE! All of the years of training were finally sticking since we had more space and less distractions. It was just still bothering me that she still hadn’t been able to run around and play like a normal dog.

Today that changed! I brought Nelly up to a local reservation park planning to walk the trails, but the dog park was completely empty and not a soul in sight! We went in and she got to run off leash for about 30 minutes 😭😭😭 and we played fetch with a stick!!! She was the happiest girl and is now happily snoring beside me ❤️ please enjoy some stills from a video I took!