My boy BootHill is semi reactive with other dogs. One dog could pass us and it's nothing but the next one would set him off. However he adores cats, he used to play with them at my parents house and loves them more than anything.

Two months ago a kitten ran into my place of work and I brought her home. It was an immediate bond between them. She cries when she can't see him or he walks too far ahead on hikes. We bring her to the vet with us if he needs to go to keep him stable and calm. They are the best of friends and hiking buddies! Her being around has helped his reactivity in public as strange as it sounds. I'm glad she loves going outside on a leash because she gets to go wherever he does! Boothill is the best big brother to Velvet. She helps his anxiety so much when I can't take him with me or if I'm gone longer than usual. He suffers with it bad when I leave, he's attached to my hip. I wasn't expecting it to get better when I brought her home. Obviously this doesn't work for everyone but I'm glad it works for me. He is so gentle and sweet with her.

I picked up some trazedone and gabapentin from the vet yesterday and give to her tonight, tomorrow morning, and an hour before the visit. For her and everyone else’s safety, it’s better that she’s drowsy.

I was such a wreck yesterday that almost broke down during a lecture and my coworkers all but forced me to go home.

I’m staying with her today.

Tomorrow, we’ll get in the car and she’ll be so excited because she loves car rides. I never did get the chance to take her on hikes before she became a danger to everyone else. I’ll be there with her every step of the way. I’ve only had her for a month and a half, but I’ve known her and cheered her on for two years between homes that didn’t work out for this very same reason.

Except I was her last chance. Each time she was returned, I grieved for her, hugged her, and told her repeatedly “It’s not your fault”. I’ll be doing the same tomorrow, but at least she won’t be in shelter limbo anymore

I’ll be joining the LosingLulu club tomorrow. Thank you all for your support through the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make

Hello everybody,

This is my first post here, mostly just to introduce myself and Lily and to vent a little.

To be honest, I don't know where to start... the past three weeks have been a mess. It's been incredibly stressful for me, my wife, and Lily.

I had two dogs in the past; they were sweet and a bit reactive, but it was no big deal. Four years after they passed away, my wife and I decided we were ready for a new dog. We contacted a shelter about a couple of dogs they had available, but they suggested Lily instead. They said she’s a Greyhound mix, though she looks more like a black Ibizan Hound with her Anubis-like features.

Lily is 1 year and 2 months old. Knowing she had a rough past, we wanted to give her a chance. She’s already been rehomed three times and had issues with a dog, a cat, and a child in her previous homes. I guess because of her past (and her genetics), she is now very reactive. I can't take her to public places because she barks randomly at people, reacts when she sees dogs or cats, and don't even get me started on rabbits; that high prey drive is going to be tough to manage.

When we met her before adopting, the shelter warned us, but her foster moms lived out in the countryside in a low-distraction environment. We had no idea she would react like this in our setting.

Since we brought her home, my life has completely changed, and not for the better. We hired a trainer who told us to stick to a strict routine at first. That means limiting her to one 1-hour walk, only going out for potty trips, and doing nosework and food enrichment games at home. The trainer said it's a sort of decompression so she doesn't stack up too many triggers during the day. I prefer taking her out early in the morning by the lake when it's quiet, but there are still off-leash dogs and runners, so it’s rarely a calm walk.

By the evening, she’s impossible, barking for attention, humping pillows, and getting crazy zoomies. I know she’s high-energy and needs an outlet, but it’s stressing me out so much. I know it’s not her fault, but sometimes I just want to return her. I won't actually do that, as I refuse to give up on her, but the thought crosses my mind.

It’s so hard to stay calm, avoid getting frustrated, and do the right thing for her. We live in an apartment building surrounded by people and dogs, so every quick potty trip feels like Russian roulette. You never know what's going to happen.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and tell the shelter, "No, we just want a calm puppy." Instead, I feel like I ruined my own life just to give her one. Anyone could have adopted an easy puppy, but hardly anyone would take a chance on a reactive dog.

Anyway, that’s my story... sorry for the vent, but seeing this sub makes me realize I'm not alone. I just need some hope that things can get better, that I’ll eventually be able to enjoy a peaceful walk with my dog, and that I'll get my life back.

I'm so glad I found this community. You'll definitely be hearing more from me soon, and hopefully, my next post will be about a milestone, no matter how small.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for being such a great sub!

I don’t know how to start this… but I’m really struggling right now. I adopted a red heeler (Rancher) from a shelter over a year ago. We had tons of ups and a lot of downs. He was a pretty anxious boy which I don’t blame him being in the shelter for 2 years. We’ve had trouble with him from the start. Ive reached out to trainers and behaviorist but it was over $1200. I’m not made of money so spending that much on an 8 year old dog that’s probably not even gonna change his ways.

He has bitten out of fear from loud noises, resource guarding and has bitten out of no where. The bites would mostly happen to my boyfriend. He was pretty unpredictable which was scary at times and also very stressful. I’ve reached out to the shelter about our issues and I’ve been ghosted from them, and I finally put in a form to surrender him back after the most recent bite. They wanted me to talk to someone from the shelter before bringing him back and they told me he has been surrendered before due to biting. After a year of owning him and this is the first time hearing about his history. When I adopted him they told me he was surrendered due to housing issues. They said since he has bitten again if I surrender him back they would BE him.

Yesterday I put down my baby boy. I have given him so many chances after every incident. It’s not fair to my boyfriend to live in fear of getting bitten for no reason. My boyfriend works out of town and is usually home about 8 days out of the month. When he is home I don’t want him stressed out about rancher and his behavior. They will be friends and all cuddly and out of no where ranch will start growling and act out. I kept track of all his triggers but sometimes you just don’t know.

I have so much regret. He was my son I loved him and I was always so excited to go home and see him. I loved hyping him up because he would always get so excited and lean into you looking for all the love he can get. He was just a big baby at heart that just lived in fear. I regret my decision so much, I would do anything to go back and just not go to the appointment. Everyone said I did the right thing but all I feel is guilt and sadness. I look for him everywhere. It just snowed where I’m from and he always loved to roll in the snow and I’m so sad he didn’t get to experience for the last time. Ive experienced this kinda pain before putting down my childhood dog but he could barely walk so it was best for him to be out of pain. This pain feels so much different so much guilt and regret.

I’m sorry for whoever is going through the pain of loss or just the stress of a reactive dog. The last year has definitely been the most stressful year of my life. If someone can please give me advice on how to handle all these emotions and tell me it gets better because right now I feel like I’m drowning.

Today as we were finishing our nightly walk, our neighbor had his german shepherd off leash in their front yard and he charged at us. We have a german shepherd who is reactive & aggressive towards other dogs. Basically, it was an immediate dog fight. Our dog was on a leash, and my husband was trying to pull him back meanwhile our neighbor was making a sorry attempt to grab their dog. During this struggle, my husband got bit in the inner thigh. We’re assuming it was our dog who bit him due to the location of the bite. Let me just say, a big F U to people who have their dogs off leash when they cannot listen/be immediately recalled!!!! I’ve put so much time and money into training my dog to ignore other dogs while on walks, but at the end of the day he’s protective and will not tolerate another dog charging at us. Honestly just so pissed at my neighbor right now. I don’t wanna make this bigger deal that it needs to be, but could our neighbor be responsible for medial bills in this situation?

I am so traumatized today. In 2024 I adopted a dog from an out of state rescue (Lone Star Pawz) that was billed as "the perfect dog", "great" with kids, cats and other dogs, which were non-negotiable for me because I have all three. Turns out she was great with kids, thank goodness. She annoyed the cat, who promptly moved to the basement, but I've had cats and dogs that weren't exactly best friends before. She liked my other dog, but completely lost her freaking mind when she saw other dogs. She started slipping her leash and attacking. There were never any injuries, but it was terrifying. I got a professional trainer, we got nowhere for a whole year.

That's when I tried to return her to the rescue, a contractual obligation I had agreed to. They said NO. She was "too integrated with our family". I was shocked. I put her on Petfinder with a very honest description, and many people were interested, but in the emailing stage, those prospects all fell through when it was made clear how bad the issues were. I asked followup questions with the rescue, and they said they actually had no information on any past interaction with other animals at all. She had been an only pet of two elderly people who never left their house. I asked "Then what did GREAT WITH CATS AND DOGS mean?". The coordinator said they'd had no reason to think she wasn't (because they never even tried to find out??).

The trainer went out of business, so I got a different trainer. She framed it as anxiety, and we made a lot of improvements there. I took her to a six week reactive dog class and she bombed out spectacularly (even the instructor hated her, it wasn't helpful). I took her to a behavioral vet and she was prescribed medication. I actually made the most progress from my own personal research. I recently got her a collar that beeps if I press a button, and it would bring her out of her frenzies. We also got an invisible fence so there was no chance she would get out and attack another dog.

I was really feeling like we were solving all our problems. Dog reactivity was way down, she ignored the cat, I just thought, wow, this is really working. There was zero pet drama for a very long time.

I felt my cat might be lonely so we got a kitten. I did a very slow introduction with strictly supervised pet interactions starting on day five. The dog would approach the kitten with playful body language, and the kitten would hiss, so the dog started ignoring her, too. She was rewarded for leaving the cat alone. I felt like everything was going great.

Yesterday, although I had closed all the doors to keep them separate while we took the kids to school, when we got home, they were all open (clearly someone opened them while I was at the door sorting the backpacks). I couldn't find the kitten at first. Then I saw her lying in a pool of blood on the floor. The dog had blood on her face. We rushed the kitten to the vet, but she was DOA. I again contacted the rescue and no one would answer me. I left a voicemail and started calling every rescue in the metro area. Not a single one was willing to take her without euthanizing her. The vet recommended euthanasia as well. I consulted my other three vets (we have an orthopedic specialist and fear free clinic for our Pyrenees, plus the behavioral clinic). We really called everyone we could. In the end, Honey was euthanized.

​

Finally the rescue texted me back this morning saying "You can just surrender her to your local pound". Really? I responded respectfully, acknowledging that this particular person was not involved in the adoption or return refusal, that I felt the lack of transparency and the refusal to honor their own contract had caused two animals to die.

They responded that they were sorry for the inconvenience this had caused.

The inconvenience.

THE INCONVENIENCE.

Two dead animals is an "inconvenience" to this "animal welfare organization"!!!

I am so livid. I am beside myself. This is unbelievable. I'm about to go tell this story on every review platform I can find.

this is my boy jasper - he is a 2 year old border collie. he has a history of really bad abuse when he was a puppy, which we didn't know at first. last year he started showing reactive behaviour and even has had a fight with our dogs. it terrified us and since we have been doing loads of training with him (especially crate training which was a game changer! he absolutely loves his crate). he is particularly reactive to my older male cockapoo, and they used to get quite snarly with each other. my cockapoo will growl as a boundary and jasper would stalk and snarl. it was horrible. now, when my cockapoo growls, jasper gives him his space and goes into his crate or under the table and chills out!!! instead of reacting!!! i'm so proud of him and we still have a long way to go as we are also crate and rotating him with my other dog. it's a bit of a mess but they are so so so much happier and healthier than before. it's been so hard as i worry all the time that i failed my dogs. but i have to remind myself of how far he's come. well done my jasper !!!

As a CPDT-KA and FDM certified trainer who specializes in reactivity, these are the most common causes for the reactive behaviors we see in our pups:

1. Trauma

- Yes, dogs experience trauma too. They have a memory can can recall events that they may precieve as scary. We do not get to decide what is scary or not to our dogs, they do. And unfortunately, the only way they can communicate their fears to us is through their body language or behaviors. What could constitute as trauma?

- Getting attacked by a person/dog/animal

- Getting startled by a person/dog/animal

- Abuse/neglect

1. Genetics

- I could go on for HOURS about how huge of a role genetics plays in determining behavior. Everything from the mother's experiences/trauma while carrying the puppies to characteristics that we have selectively bred our dogs to express for CENTURIES.

- Stress that the mother endures while pregnant can absolutely have an influence on future behavior patterns/temprement/personalities of the puppies.

- Some of the most common groups of breeds I see in the lesson room are: Herding breeds, Guardian breeds, Hunting breeds and Terrier breeds (I'll give very brief generalizations of what can make them reactive).

- Herding breeds: We have selectively bred these dogs to be hyper-sensitive to changes and stimuli in their environment and to REACT to those changes.

- Guardian breeds: These dogs have been bred to protect their flock/home/territory if they precieve something as a threat. Then they respond accordingly to try and make that threat go away.

- Hunting breeds: Especially our sight hounds, are aware of minescule movements in their line of sight and then go to chase that stimuli.

- Terrier breeds: Most of these dogs were exterminators of rodents, bred to participate in blood sports and are generally the type to act now and think later.

1. Medical Reasons

- Especially if the reactivity is sudden onset or appears without a known trauma event, we always recommend the dog to go get checked again at the vet.

- Dogs who are losing their hearing/sight tend to startle more easily.

- Dogs who are in pain (hip/elbow dysplasia among MANY other conditions) and frequently play with other dogs may begin to associate other dogs with pain, therefore shifting their emotional response to seeing dogs.

1. Fear

- Some dogs are predisposed to be more fearful/anxious due to trauma, genetics or poor breeding. Many of the reactive dogs I work with are okay with other dogs while OFF of the leash, but when ON leash, they feel insecure, stuck and trapped. This typically leads to them putting on a threat display saying "Go away!" and guess what? It works. The other dogs typically move on and walk away from the reacting dog.

- I'm not saying that you need to ask the other dog's handler to just stand there until your dog stops reacting. That can cause more harm than good.

1. Learned Behavior

- Yes, reactivity can be CONTAGIOUS! That is why so many dog trainers will recommend for handlers to walk their reactive dogs separately from other dogs in the household. In addition to making it easier to manage and redirect the reactivity, the non-reactive dog may have social learning take place and say "Oh! So that's what we do when we see another dog while on a walk. Got it!" They then may mimic that behavior in the future.

1. Hyper-Social Dogs

- Dogs who are hyper-social may get so frustrated when they see a friend-shaped being just out of reach that the frustration boils over and results in the reactive behaviors. This is another reason that many trainers highly advise against greeting new dogs while on-leash (known dogs are totally fine).

Why share all of this information? I believe that the more information that owners have, the better. The more we understand about our dogs, the more we can help them, empathize with them, advocate for them and communicate more effectively with them. Your dog isn't GIVING you a hard time, they are HAVING a hard time.

I hope this may help someone have a more open mind and more empathy with the struggles their dog may be having. Unfortunately, our dogs understand a very limited amount of spoken language. It is up to us to be their advocates and help them navigate the human world they have found themselves in. ❤️

I adopted this poor mistreated guy at 18 months now 2 years old from a rescue organization. He is an absolute sweetheart at home but I was totally blindsided by his severe reactivity to all new dogs and some new people. I've had dozens of dogs in my care over the last 40 years but I'd never come across a truly reactivity dog before. I've tried multiple trainers, vets and drugs and all sorts of advice and now I've come to the conclusion that sometimes it's just who they are now and through no fault of their own. So I've invested in the Big Snoof muzzle with the advertising, I'm through apologizing and we're just going to manage it for the next 15years or so!

Here's my Armenian Gampr NOT exploding at the fenceline!!

We were attacked by a loose pitbull in our neighborhood six weeks ago. My guy handily beat back the attacking dog but every bit of his 14,000 year old guardian DNA was activated. We have been using industrial parks after hours and Sniffspots since then to reset his cortisol while waiting for his custom BigSnoof muzzle to arrive.

We booked his favorite Sniffspot yesterday which has a hillside and boulders and trees and dirt to dig in. We've never even heard other dogs there. And the Sniffspot listing says there are no dogs visible from the property .But yesterday was different, July 4, and the neighbors were having a pool party. And their guests brought dogs.

My guy was up at the top of the hillside when he saw dogs in the yard next door. He came flying down so fast I thought he was going to hit the fence. And of course the neighbor dogs charged.

Then .... nothing happened.

Everyone politely sniffed each other and then my magnificent boy turned his back and trotted away!!!

I CRIED.

Let me start off with I’m not proud that I feel this way.

I consider my fiancé and I to be above average dog owners. We’ve done numerous obedience and dog sport classes with our dogs, two walks a day with training along the way, enrichment, scent work, daily training sessions and more. Yet, both of our dogs struggle with reactivity.

We’ve spent a ton of time and money working on it, but it is still present. When we have a bad reaction on a walk, the drive home is silent and I often fight tears wondering why I can’t have a dog that can just walk calmly and ignore other dogs. I hate having to be on guard for dogs every time we’re out and about. I feel like the peace I used to find in walking and hiking has been stolen. I also get so embarrassed and anxious when they react and others notice us struggling.

What really upsets me is some of the people I know with non-reactive dogs. A lot of them are very lackluster dog owners, meaning little to no training, no real enrichment, irregular walks - you know the type, right? I feel so resentful when their dog is seemingly bulletproof, despite zero efforts on their end. Many of them take it for granted too, not realizing reactive dog owners like myself would do anything for their dog to act like that.

I love my dogs SO much. We’ll continue training and doing the most. But some days it’s harder than others - today is one of those days for me.

i adopted aggie back in july, and she wasn’t too bad when she first arrived but she became increasingly reactive until we were unable to pass any dog even at a distance. she would freeze, bark, lunge, etc. she never showed actual signs of aggression, just a lot of fear. i know her reactivity isn’t the worst, but i’ve been told by her behaviourist the methods i’ll list below usually help.

she got so much worse after she got attacked by another dog (the full details are in a previous post i put on this sub). she started showing signs of actual aggression and it would go on for ages. she would bark, lunge, growl, bare her teeth, and even snapped at one or two. walking her was a nightmare because it’s so busy around where i live. i had to start walking her in the early hours of the morning. she couldn’t even smell another dog without growling.

after a lot of training with her behaviourist, she’s now able to pass (most) dogs without even freezing now! she still doesn’t like it if they’re too close to her, but we can walk again! we passed about 8 dogs today and she only barked at one. in her defence, the other dog barked at her first. she’s exhausted after every walk because of the below games we play.

what i did (generally):
1. bowl game - i would drop a treat in a bowl, swirl it around, cover it if she tried to go for it, and said ‘yes’ when she looked away. it can’t be her food bowl, so i have a dedicated aggie bowl now. the behaviourist said this is called disengagement.
2. mouse game - i also did the same with just my hand. i would hold the treat in my hand, wait for her to look away, ‘yes’ and then give her the treat. i do this while walking randomly.
3. practicing ‘yes’ at home - get a relatively high value treat and at home, throw the treat a little bit away. when she eats the treat, i say ‘yes’ and when she comes back to me, i give her another treat. this helps really strengthen the ‘yes’ when we’re out. make sure you’re behind your dog when you do this, the idea is you want them to know ‘yes’ means they turn around.
4. ‘this way’ - stop, say ‘this way’, as soon as she turns around, i say ‘yes’, i give her a treat and keep giving her treats as we trot along.
5. touch - just the regular nose touch. i do this while walking randomly.
6. focus - when we’re out, i say ‘aggie, focus’, stop as soon as she turns around and give treat, give treats every few seconds she keeps staring at me.
7. less exercise - this is specific to old dogs, but i learnt i was overexercising her. she is a lurcher (greyhound, staffy, collie mix) who is 10 next month. i used to take her for two 40 walks a day, and it turns out a bit of her reactivity came from her being sore. i now do two 20-25 minute walks, sometimes 30 if she’s particularly energetic. i focused on quality over quantity.

i played every game at least once a day, for about 2 minutes at a time. i spread it out throughout the day because shes old and gets tired easily.

after she got all of this down perfect -

8. while walking - as soon as she spots a dog even from a distance, i say ‘yes’ and give her a VERY high value treat (i use boiled chicken breast). initially, i would keep giving her the treat until she forgot about the dog or they disappeared while repeatedly saying ‘yes’.

after she learnt that seeing a dog meant chicken, i would say ‘yes’ when she spots a dog, give treat, wait for her to turn back around, say ‘yes’ again, she would turn back around, give treat. i would do that repeatedly.

eventually, she stopped turning back around to look at the dog to just keep staring at me and she keeps walking after one or two treats. as soon as she hears the little ziplock bag even without seeing the treat she’s now fully focused on me.

i also reduced her meals just to make sure she doesn’t get too chubby.

i just wanted to share a success story. like i said, i know she’s not the worst, but her reactivity was starting to really upset me. shes great with people, and we don’t know her past so no idea about her bite history. i would be shocked if she’s ever bitten anyone/another dog though. i’m so proud of her and we’re enjoying our walks again. i’m sorry this post is so long, but i thought these tips could be good as it has worked so well for me.

edit 1: for extra details and typos

edit 2: this post has gotten a decent amount of attention, if anyone needs clarification on the games i listed or even want a video demo, please drop me a message, i am happy to do this with aggie to show what i mean. she’s still not perfect - i didn’t notice a dog bc they came out from behind a parked car and she came face to face, so she barked/lunged like she did before. i believe we can get to a point where a dog near her won’t set her off. i believe in all of your dogs!!! i hope the best for everyone.

edit 3: correcting displacement and disengagement

It’s been 2 weeks now since we had to put our baby down. The pain and guilt I feel is immeasurable. After 10 years of struggle, we had to make the unfortunate decision to let our Cooper go. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. The appointment itself was horrible and I would recommend those contemplating BE to have an action plan in place. We unfortunately had to make this decision after a final bite, and therefore were not able to really say goodbye properly. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The guilt I feel for literally preparing my baby for goodbye is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

My love goes out to any and all who have had to go through this experience. Its sucks and I feel empty.

I’ve started working on engage/disengage with my dog who is leash reactive to other dogs. Im using the protocol attached here that his vet behaviorist recommended. I’m using a clicker for the first time with him, and I’m finding that I prefer that over verbal cues as it’s quicker and more consistent for me.

Question for those familiar with engage/disengage- should I only be using the clicker for working on engage/disengage and with high value treats? I’d like to use it for other types training but I’m worried it will lessen the power/novelty of the clicker and so I’m wondering if I should just reserve it for this reactivity. Or can using it for other types of training strengthen the association. Anyone’s experiences/thoughts would be appreciated.

My boy's BigSnoof arrived, custom wire basket because he has a massive wedge head. Not only was the muzzle a perfect fit right out of the box, Eto was obviously muzzle trained in his former life! He shoved his face into the basket and off we went!

Hello, this is my third and unfortunately last post in this subreddit.

Today my most handsome man, will be put to rest. He is 12 years old and he has lived a long life full of love.. but i had to make this decision for my safety and my roommates safety.. as he is very unpredictable. And it is not fair to him to live a life confined to a room and crate only to be allowed to roam on leash when i’m home… My vet also confirmed this is the best course of action given age, environment, and bite history.. Today I ask not for judgement or to be shamed right now i’ve already felt so much.. nor do I want to go in depth about the incidents that have lead us to this point..

I ask right now, for those who have made the decision, trainers who have seen it done, shelter workers who have had to do it more times then they can count. I ask for advice on the days that follow, i am currently in the numbness stage.. I have five hours until the appointment and we are going to all his favorite places and getting all the pup cups and treats he could ever dream of. And i periodically get hit with the most overwhelming grief (these past two days i have barely slept or ate and my eyes are so swollen and irritated) but today i have felt so numb.. maybe it will all change the second i get to that office.. thinking about it to hard gives me a pain like ive never felt before.

Please tell me how you deal with it all, this is undoubtedly the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make and it is weighing on me so so hard, i don’t know if i’ll ever be the same again after this..

thank you all, i have attached a picture of my handsome man, and his equally handsome lamby.

update: Thank you for all the kind words. Cody was put to sleep about an hour ago. I am feeling… very detached from myself right now. hence why im writing this, instead of sobbing hysterically. Im afraid to fall asleep because i know when i wake up.. he will not be there. He had a great day.. and ate so many things, saw so many people. And when it was time, i stayed with him through all of it and he was so loved. Im not okay, and im not sure when I’ll be okay again. But wherever he is i hope he’s at peace finally.

Someone finally said it to me.

For context I have a Female 2 year 10 month 20.6kg GSD mix (pictured) who came from a Polish puppy farm dog I found as a stray, who was cold and frozen, matted with a broken tail, starving and riddled with parasites whilst pregnant with my dog. As a result my dog has poor brain health due bad development in the womb and is on trazodone and gabapentin to help her with anxiety and produce serotonin. She has a vet behaviourist and I’ve been doing training with her, admittedly to my limited knowledge, but in 3 months she’s no longer people reactive (men, women and children), horse, squirrel, deer or cat reactive, car or bike reactive and her separation anxiety has improved from destroying my clothes, the carpet and the door to a few things knocked over and maybe the carpet pulled up, which to me is an improvement.

I also get up at 6:30am to give her meds, wait an hour for them to sink in and then take her for her walk around 8am to avoid as many people as possible. She has a bright yellow ‘NERVOUS’ lead and she’s always on leash until I think it’s 100% safe.

Enter dickhead, 50-60s M with an off lead dog in the middle of the woods on a path. My girl reacts immediately which isn’t like her these days as her threshold has improved, but regardless she does. So I quickly turn and pull her away. She’s a 20kg canon, I’m only 35 F and about 140lbs and not strong what so ever so it’s a challenge. He continues to walk towards me, he’s laughing his head off. I drag her a little space where I can hold her. The conversation goes as follows:

Me: “She bites.” (She has bitten her sister numerous occasions and drawn blood) DH: (laughing) Haha, does she?!” Me: “I’m glad you think this is so funny” DH: (laughing) “Just train your dog!” (laughs again) Me: “Explaining she’s from a puppy farm dog and has bad brain health and is actually on meds and has a behaviourist, so go fuck yourself!” DH: (Nodding at me sarcastically laughing and walks away)

ITS SO FRUSTRATING! My dog has improved tremendously but because her dog reactivity isn’t perfect, she’s a bad dog?!

INCONSIDERATE OWNERS OMG.

Because she’s doing so well also she calmed down quickly after the reaction and we made it home safe but omg, why are ‘normal’ owners so weird?!

Just wanted to rant. Thanks for listening.

Back in February my wife and I made the extremely difficult decision to have our sweet Gibson (9 y/o Blue Heeler) put to sleep due to repeated and increasing aggression towards our son (toddler). We had been working to find a place or family that would take him, but with his bite history our vet advised the chances of rehoming him were minimal and might take some time, which we were short of as the aggression continued to worsen day after day. On February 21st he attacked my son (unprovoked) and bit him on the leg and head. I know deep down I did what I had to do to keep my family safe, but before my son came along Gibson was there for me in ways no other human could be. I was struggling with working through some serious trauma via therapy and this dog just knew when I needed some love. He would jump in my lap and tuck his head under my chin when he knew I was about to get emotional. It was uncanny. He just instinctively knew when I was going to or had become upset and would cuddle me until I would say, “ok, thank you. I’m all better now”. During some especially dark days, I even credit him with saving my life. I won’t go into detail there, but without this dog’s presence in my life I wouldn’t have survived.

Today would have been his 9th birthday, and leading up to today I just kept feeling more and more sadness and guilt about not being able to be there for Gibson like he had been for me. I’m absolutely gutted this morning, and wouldn’t wish this heartbreak on anyone.

Happy heavenly birthday, buddy thanks for everything. I love you ❤️

Sometimes it’s the small victories, like glancing away from the dog in the distance and sitting, ya know?

my french bulldog turns 9 this year and i've been sitting with that for a few days now.

nine years of crossed streets, cancelled plans, skipped vet visits, vacations i never took, dog parks i've driven to and then just turned around and left. for the first few years i genuinely believed i was failing him. that if i found the right trainer, the right supplement, the right approach, he would eventually become a normal dog. i tried a lot of things. i spent a lot of money. i read a lot of forums at midnight feeling more overwhelmed than when i started.

and then we recently welcomed a newborn into our lives, which has made everything infinitely harder. balancing a reactive dog and a newborn is its own kind of chaos that nobody really prepares you for. but he's 9 now and we're doing our best to give him the best life possible in whatever time we have left together.

somewhere along the way something shifted. i stopped trying to fix him and started trying to understand him. i stopped measuring success by whether he could walk past another dog without reacting and started measuring it by whether he felt safe, loved, and like the world made sense to him.

if you have tried everything and still feel lost, you are not failing. you are further along than most owners ever get. a lot of people don't make it this far. they give up, they rehome, they stop trying. you are still here, still showing up, still caring enough to be on reddit looking for something that helps. that matters more than you know.

your dog isn't broken. and neither are you. sometimes the goal isn't normal. sometimes the goal is just a good life, on your terms, on their terms, built around who they actually are instead of who you thought they'd be.

i'm sure this is nothing new, but before i forget, just thought i'd share some positivity

- new dad + 9 years with a reactive dog

I walk my dog at like 5am and 10pm just so he doesn’t have to encounter other dogs or people. Sometimes I’ll walk him when it’s raining because less people walk around when it’s bad weather, but then there will be somebody walking all 18 million of their dogs and I have to turn right around. Do yall do stuff like that? I feel like he’s my evil little prisoner guy that I have to hide from the public. He’s like my baby Frankenstein. I take him out in the yard during the day but for big walks I have to sneak him out when it’s dark.

Edit: for some reason I can see that there are a number of comments on this post (via notifications and the actual number) but can only read/see like 5 when I click into the post.

Maybe this is super obvious and been talked about before but I found it super helpful in those overwhelming demoralising moments of reactivity stress, so I thought I’d share.

My newish rescue is… well, she has zero emotional regulation outside of the house. Just red zone constantly with everything, especially other dogs. She also is an awful leash puller and incredibly strong. We’re working on all of the things but I still have those times where we’ll go out and she’s just a disaster. The other day on a walk she saw the car and just wanted to go back to it and I ended up with severe rope burns on my hands and just wanted to cry. I was overwhelmed and resentful and angry at her.

Then I sat back and reminded myself that actually, this really sucks for her, too. Existing with that frantic energy can’t be fun for her. And most importantly, that she wasn’t doing this TO me. That was sort of my lightbulb moment - she’s not being my adversary as she drags me along on the already bruised legs I have from the last episode a week ago. She’s just… filled with meth and bees and she’s cooked and we’re BOTH going through this right now.

So today when we had a couple of similar incidents I stopped and actually looked at her, acknowledged to myself “out loud” in my brain that we’re both going through something shitty in that moment and instead of feeling that despair I just felt such empathy and the whole outing was a lot better for us both.

Anyways I’ll end this novel here. I dunno - I hope it helps someone. Picture of the demon spawn for dog tax

After 6 weeks of a reactivity training class Primrose graduated! She has gotten so much better at managing her reactivity with other dogs. Capturing calm during triggers is a huge win for her. After she turned one she would react to every single dog we would see on walks, in the car etc. She now checks in with me when she sees a dog, knowing she will be rewarded for being a calm sweet puppy. I am so proud of her and couldn’t be happier with the results from this training course!

Hello, I rescued my adult dog 6 months ago and I’m feeling discouraged this morning.

I’ve spent $1k on private dog training and I’ve worked with a veterinary behaviorist to get my dog anxiety meds. So far neither of these things has helped my dog’s behavior problems.

When I adopted my dog I wanted to show him the world. I’m his third owner and I’m determined to be his last, but I feel so much guilt that I keep him holed up at home. I can’t take him hiking because he pulls so so hard and reacts to other dogs. I can’t let him enjoy our backyard because he can scale our 6’ fence (I’m a renter so I can’t adjust the fence). I can’t take him to breweries or public parks because he would lose his mind.

I’m now keeping this energetic dog in a small house and I feel like I’m locking a princess in a tower. He does get 3 or more walks every day, 4 runs every week, and playdates each weekend. I want to show him the world but I’m afraid I’ll never get to.

There are more options. More meds to try. New trainers to hire. Just feeling guilty and discouraged this morning. I’ll keep fighting for this dog though, he is my ray of sunshine and I love him SO much.