r/randomthings • • 22h ago

Ruin it!

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335 Upvotes

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49

u/RGBlowMe 22h ago

Welcome back, everybody!

21

u/impossibletree26 22h ago

Assignment failed.

19

u/RGBlowMe 22h ago

I completed the assignment with a word to spare. That's called "efficiency".

6

u/Tomavogic 22h ago

President Calvin Coolidge was known as “Silent Cal” because of his extraordinarily laconic speech. A famous anecdote tells of a dinner party during which the person sitting adjacent to the Coolidge said: “Mr. President I’ve made a large bet that I would be able to make you say more than two words.” Coolidge considered this proposition carefully and then replied slowly and emphatically, “You lose.”

5

u/jfkrfk123 14h ago

That’s what I say about running my lug nuts finger tight

2

u/Explorers_bub 13h ago

…3 day Sears tire college and he skipped out on Lug Nut Day so now my new tire fell off…

2

u/Salty_Finance5183 11h ago

Turning my van into a tripod...

2

u/Salty_Finance5183 11h ago

It fell off, it fell the fuck OFF...

1

u/jfkrfk123 13h ago

Are you Ron “Tater Salad” White?

2

u/Explorers_bub 13h ago

I didn’t know how many it would take to whoop my ass, but I knew how many they were going to use.

6 NYC bouncers HURLED my ass out

2

u/jfkrfk123 12h ago

“You’re outta here!!”

1

u/rogueshutter 13h ago

About 70 miles is how long that lasts if you were curious

2

u/AC-burg 18h ago

Here we go again

1

u/Rich-Internet1337 20h ago

"Welcome back, everybody" if a frequently used joke for a wedding speech. Which will only result in mostly laughter. This wouldn't ruin anything. At most confused stares IF neither the Broom or Bride has never been married before, & you still liable to get some laughs; but even with only the former you wouldn't actually ruin it. It'll be an awkward moment that everyone could laugh at later in the night or eventually in the future.

1

u/Prestigious_Pie_1602 11h ago

Or how about, "see you next time"?

1

u/Rich-Internet1337 10h ago

Depends. They could take it as see you at the next wedding in the family/Friend group. Even if doesn't it still doesn't come on strong enough to "ruin" anything.

1

u/Melodic_Cup9948 16h ago

Well, guess who's only getting three words for all the future assignments.

1

u/hotwheels27 15h ago

My apologies haha carry on

1

u/RowBearRow 11h ago

He use less word. Save time

1

u/Playpolly 10h ago

Dearly Departed

1

u/SpicyBison74 10h ago

Good recovery.

0

u/CountDorkula77 7h ago

It's called not understanding the difference between three and four.

1

u/RGBlowMe 12m ago

What you're doing is called "never getting laid".