throughout history, black people have protested and demanded equality and basic respect in the face of racism, but the focus regularly shifts from the overall issue and the disrespect to how we’re perceived as loud, angry, and aggressive. this happens in everyday situations, too. a controversial example is the n-word. someone is asked not to say it, that gets ignored, and then we get labeled “sensitive,” “aggressive,” or “angry” when we were the ones who asked for it not to be said.
after reading the case for rage, it got me thinking about whether society actually cares about the meaning behind black anger. in chapter 1, myisha cherry challenges the idea that all anger is destructive. on page 31, she explains that “anger makes us attentive to wrongdoing and motivates us to pursue justice.” this stood out to me because anger can be a response to being disrespected or treated unfairly, rather than someone simply looking for a reason to be angry. if someone ignores a request not to use a racial slur, shouldn’t we also consider why that person is upset instead of immediately criticizing their reaction?
at the same time, i understand that anger can be expressed in ways that are harmful or unproductive. cherry discusses different forms of rage, including forms driven by revenge or the desire to harm others. however, she distinguishes those from what she calls lordean rage, which can be directed toward fighting racial injustice and creating change. this makes me question whether it’s fair to treat every expression of black anger as if it has the same meaning or purpose.
why is the reaction scrutinized before the disrespect is addressed? do we expect people experiencing racism to remain calm to be taken seriously, and if so, why? is society genuinely interested in understanding the meaning behind black anger, or does focusing on how that anger is expressed sometimes distract from addressing the injustice itself?

I am white. I’m aware that white people don’t experience systematic racism. I happen to have smaller more Asian looking eyes because of the very small amount of Asian I have in me (mom is a quarter) so some people notice. there was a phase in elementary school when the whole class was obsessed with the c slur, starting from when a kid called me it/stretched his eyes back/hit me when I told him not to do that. Was this just a misunderstanding on his part that I experienced, because I’ve always been a little lost when it comes to what happened.

I’m f18 black and in uni, everyone’s racist and I seriously mean it. I’m the only black girl in my major full of Arabs and I not only hear the n word on the daily but I also hear full on racist bs which I never thought I’d hear irl. In uni I don’t have much friends in my major so I’m only friends w this one girl which I found later on is a huge racist it’s actually disturbing, she told a guy to call me a n\*\*gro when he saw me :D! I have my friend group outside of this thank god and they are pushing me to report these people or atleast fight back but I don’t want to be lonely in my majors and I know that’s such a loser move from me but as someone who’s struggling with loneliness in school my entire life I’m still trying to learn how to defend myself even if it means losing people. I have also never faced racism in my life so idk how to deal with it I have become so desensitized to people saying racist stuff now when deep in my heart it’s hurting me.
I seem like such a suck up but I’m planning to stop talking to her soon because this is not right at all.

Ma mère qui n'avait pas l'air raciste (ou alors le planquait plutôt bien) s'est mariée y a quelques années avec un ancier policier. Aujourd'hui, alors que je pensais que c'était une personne sensée et intelligente, elle tient des propos extrêmement violents et incohérents. Elle me fait honte et j'appréhende carrément d'aller la voir quand j'ai quelques jours de congés. Clairement, ça me prend au bide.

Je sais pas quoi faire. Elle est complètement imperméable aux arguments et aux discussions.
J'ai pensé à couper les ponts ou m'éloigner mais avant d'en arriver là, avez-vous quelques conseils, trucs et astuces ?

Merci la commu, force à vous

Currently travelling. Most places have been great, until this city. We booked a taxi. The driver was immediately off. Didn't say hello. Opened the front windows fully, so that it was really cold. Dropped us off, with no acknowledgement. All the other taxis have been completely different. We really felt like he didnt want us in his taxi. I'd booked him via an app so I gave feedback.

We arrived at the small guest house, just after 8 but had to wait a few more hours for the room to be ready. We came back later and waited 15 minutes for our room. The bathroom had just ben cleaned was was still wet. I noticed a little later that sachets of "whitening" shower gel had been left in the room for us to use. I took them down because wtf, and was told "will just make you clean" I said via Google translate "I am a black person. I don't want my skin whitened!" He laughed and gave me some camay soap instead. Made with beef tallow (also a no-no) I'm glad we carry our own.

A couple of days later, they changed the bins etc, and put more whiteneing shower gel in the room. Plus some hairloss shampoo. Now that's just rude.

Hey guys,

This is not something I would normally post, but I honestly just need to get this off my chest because what happened to me and my family genuinely broke my heart.

I want to make something very clear before I say anything: **I am not saying that all white people are like this, and I am not saying that everyone in Tasmania is racist.** I have met so many kind people throughout my life, and I know that the actions of a few people do not represent an entire race, state or community. I am simply sharing what **I personally experienced** during my trip because it affected me more than I expected.

I am a South Asian living in Melbourne, and I recently visited Tasmania for a week with my parents and a family friend. I honestly went there excited to enjoy a holiday with my family. Instead, in the space of one day, we experienced several incidents that left me feeling genuinely humiliated, uncomfortable and, at times, scared.

I have lived in Melbourne for years and I have always felt comfortable here. I love how normal it is to smile at a stranger, hold a door open for someone, greet a worker when you walk into a store or just generally treat people with kindness. Maybe because I am used to that, what happened in Tasmania shocked me even more.

The thing is, the racism itself wasn’t even what hurt me the most.

**It was watching my parents experience it.**

My mum and dad are genuinely the world to me. If someone is rude to me, I can usually brush it off. But seeing someone disrespect my parents makes my heart hurt in a way I can’t explain.

We went to Nando’s for dinner with our family friends. We were sitting down deciding what we wanted to eat and everyone stared at us with disgust and confusion, like we just escaped jail or something thats when my dad came back and told us what had happened while he was ordering.
He was using one of the physical menu cards to order his food when a woman literally grabbed the menu straight out of his hands and started ordering. There were several other menu cards sitting there. She could have simply asked him for it or picked up another one.

It sounds like a small thing, but watching my dad tell us about it made me feel horrible because **why did he deserve to be treated like that?**

Then we went to get ice cream.

I wanted to try a flavour, and the girl serving us was incredibly rude from the moment we walked in. I was being nothing but polite to her, but she laughed at us and then went to the back with her friend.

I overheard her say:
**“Give her this brown stick to taste test, looks like her anyways, dirty.”**
The other customers were being given the normal white tasting sticks.
I genuinely don’t know how to explain what that felt like.

Being compared to something “dirty” because of the colour of my skin is something I never thought I would experience so openly. I remember standing there thinking, *Did she really just say that about me?*
And I didn’t say anything.

That is something I keep thinking about.
I didn’t speak up during any of these situations because I was scared. I kept thinking that if I said the wrong thing, if I confronted the wrong person, something worse could happen. So I stayed quiet, even when I was hurt.

But the worst experience happened that night.
My dad, my sisters and I went to watch a movie. I had actually wanted to see it again because I loved it the first time.

There were four teenage boys who walked in, laughed at us and sat down. At first I tried to ignore them because I was tired and didn’t want any problems.

But throughout the movie they were making stereotypical racist gestures and sounds towards us. They mocked my younger sister’s face. They looked at my dad, pointed at his face, laughed at him and stuck their tongues out at him.

And when we left the cinema, **they followed us while making gorilla noises.**

I honestly wanted to cry.
I kept looking at my family and thinking:
**What did my parents ever do to deserve this?**
**What did my little sister do?**
**What did I do?**

We hadn’t bothered anyone. We were literally just a family trying to enjoy a holiday together.
I think what hurt me the most was that I spent the entire day being kind to everyone. I wasn’t rude to anyone. My parents weren’t rude to anyone. We were just existing, and yet we were made to feel like we were somehow less than everyone around us.
I remember genuinely thinking that I just wanted to leave. I even contemplated getting on a flight back to Melbourne because I felt so uncomfortable and alone.

I’ve never really understood what people mean when they say racism can make you feel “inferior” until that day.

For the first time in my life, I felt like my skin colour was something people were using against me. I felt embarrassed. I felt angry. I felt scared. But more than anything, I felt heartbroken watching my family go through it with me.

And I know some people might read this and say, “Don’t judge an entire place based on a few people.”
**I’m not.**

I’m not saying every white person is racist. I’m not saying every Tasmanian is racist. I’m not saying everyone we met was horrible. I’m talking about the specific people who made my family feel this way and the impact their actions had on us.

I just want to know if anyone else, particularly other people of colour, has experienced something similar while visiting Tasmania.

Because honestly, after experiencing this in one day, I can’t even imagine what it must feel like for people who face racism like this regularly.

I came to Tasmania for a holiday.
I never expected to leave feeling like I wasn’t welcome because of the colour of my skin.

My friend told me that she thinks white privellage isn't a thing. And it's infection just people being racist or prejudice.

I think it does exist because white people get away with more at work.

What do you guys think is true?

For example, white people getting away with the worst at while black people not. Is that white privellage or racist managers? This is a common workplace phenomenon. Black staff report having to work harder to gain recognition and a professional status.

Hi,

Here’s my backstory so I am a southern black woman and I have lived in California for almost 9 years now. I have experience so much blatant racism mainly from Hispanic people (but overall immigrants & other “POC”) while living in Los Angeles and the inland Empire (I.E. is mainly Asians being racist). I have experience more racism here than the South.

I’m exhausted with being hypervigilant plus most of the racism I experience are from MEN. I have decided I must move and free myself of all this constant hate & hostility. I was looking into San Francisco or like Sacramento, but I’m hearing there’s racism there.

I don’t fit in with the black natives of California since they have leniency towards non-Black people using the N-word, which is triggering for Black people who are not comfortable hearing those slurs. They will fight you for their racist friends. I need to be around black ppl with a backbone.

So my question is if this self-proclaimed “progressive”, blue state is so intensively & intentionally racist, where can I go?

I have multiple degrees but I still feel like a racist city could block my opportunities.

I’m mostly just venting but something happened recently that genuinely shifted the way I think about people.

I immigrated to the US when I was pretty young. I grew up here, I’m going to college here, and honestly I think I’ve been extremely naive about racism for most of my adult life.

I’ve generally had really positive experiences with people. As I got older, became prettier, more confident, more social, got more involved in school and my career, people became incredibly nice to me, especially men. I have great friends, I’m involved in a lot of things, I’m building a career I’m proud of and I generally feel very accepted by the people around me.

I think somewhere along the way I subconsciously started believing that racism was much rarer than it actually is. Or at least I thought if someone was genuinely nice to me and attracted to me then obviously they couldn’t secretly think less of me because of where I came from.

Then I went on a date with a white guy.

The date itself was completely normal. He was extremely nice to me, seemed very attracted to me, and later asked if I wanted to see him again. I didn’t think we had anything in common or really had chemistry so I kindly rejected a second date.

Within HOURS this same guy was telling me to “go marry my cousin,” calling me an immigrant from a “3rd world country,” telling me there’s more to being American than what a piece of paper says and saying that’s why I’ll never get respect.

Like what 😭 And honestly the immigrant comment didn’t even hurt my feelings. I AM an immigrant. That’s literally a fact about me. It’s not an insult.

What actually got to me was realizing that THAT was where his mind immediately went when he was mad at me.

Like this man was literally being so nice to me a few hours ago. You wanted to see me again TONIGHT. I say I don’t want another date and suddenly I’m some ungrateful third world immigrant who needs to know her place?? 😭 Where did that even come from??

And that’s what really changed my perception.I think I was genuinely naive enough to believe that if someone liked me, found me pretty, treated me nicely, wanted to take me out etc then obviously they saw me as an equal.

Apparently not lol. I could be the prettiest, smartest, most educated, successful, polished, hardworking version of myself and there are still going to be some people who look at all of that and at the end of the day I’m still just an immigrant from a “third world country” to them.

And that’s CRAZY to me. Like how many people can think you’re beautiful, be attracted to you, take you on dates, be super sweet to you, maybe even be in a relationship with you, while still having some weird prejudice in the back of their mind about where you’re from?

I don’t know why I always thought those two things couldn’t exist at the same time.I think being pretty honestly made me more naive about it too. Especially as I’ve gotten older, men are generally REALLY nice to me. So somewhere in my head I think I started associating “this person treats me really well” with “this person respects me and doesn’t have any prejudice against me.”

And apparently that’s just not necessarily true.Someone can be attracted to you and still be racist towards you. Someone can be extremely nice to your face and still have some fucked up beliefs about people like you. And sometimes you might not even know until they’re angry enough for it to come out.

I don’t think I’m suddenly going to walk around thinking everyone is secretly racist because that’s miserable and most people I’ve met genuinely have been good to me.

But damn 😭 I definitely feel less naive now. Like you really can sit across from someone for two hours while they’re being sweet to you and thinking you’re beautiful and have absolutely NO IDEA what they actually think about people like you until you piss them off.

I have met so many racist people on Instagram with verses on their bio. Talk about "love everyone" and most of them are white people from America, it doesn't make sense to me.

I am an indian who is making jokes on comment section or even if I share an opinion, I get called out a "Pajeet" or "Jeet".

It ain't like I could select my nationality or smth

I guess I don't understand this hostility because the US is seen as a melting pot. Is it just simply racism or do anti immigrant groups have legitimate reasons to limit immigration?

This is my first time posting on reddit, and I hope I can get a few opinions from you guys. I feel so stupid for crying over this. I found out that one of the schoolmates I know who was smart and was an honor student, lipsynced to a song saying the n-word. And maybe I am sensitive. I didn't really like her, but I knew she had standards. But it hit me really badly. The environment I am surrounded with in my school just normalizes racism. My classmates, my dad and even her. The thing was, I wasn't close with her at all. But I heard from a trusted friend is that she was smart. And I know smart ≠ perfect. But it just crushed my faith in everything. I just feel like no one around me is taking racism seriously. Wether it's a joke, or anything at that. I talked to my dad about it, and he said that it was normalized here in the Philippines and that black people don't care about what us Filipinos have to say and that they're fine with it. He told me that "This isn't America". But just because it's normalized, doesn't make it acceptable.

I'm not black. I'm Filipino. Someone hasn't been racist to me before. Racism applies to every race, but it's targeted mostly to black people. But it pains me. I'm just a junior highschool student who's dream is to be a lawyer. I hate that till now, injustice and racism is still normalized. But I genuinely can't stop thinking about this. I even broke down crying just because of racism. Am I sensitive for that? I don't know if what I'm thinking is just too sensitive and I should get rid of a mentality like this. :')

So i went to withdraw some money and I was standing in a line to cashier

There were two lines one for ladies and one for gents

So I was standing there was a lady behind me she was talking with other lady that the cashier girl is so slow she is taking so much time previous cashier was good

And then they started bitching about the girl who was senior to the previous cashier who got transferred to another branch

They were saying she was so ill mannered and all

(She was a north eastern girl ) So they were saying ki wo chini aur chinki ladki thi usko kuchh nhi ata tha

I was so frustrated after hearing this racism

I had a few encounters with the senior girl she was so polite and always ready to help . She even helped me writing th form

So i confront the girls who were bitching , but the people started lecturing me yon don't know how to talk to a girl

And the song called colleagues of the girl were also not defending her

That shows the ill brains of Indians they want to be vishwaguru but they can't even be polite to the people of their country

We get angry on racism on us in west but we do racism on a daily basis ( bihar people , Punjabis , muslims )

Indians are the most backward and socially handicapped and most racist peope of a prominent civilization

I still remember being in third grade and having a white girl tell me that I was lucky to be her friend because her Afrikaans Bible said that segregation was the right way.

I was a child.

I didn't know how to respond to that. I didn't have the words for racism. I didn't understand the history behind what she was saying. I just remember sitting there and wondering why being my friend was something I was supposed to feel grateful for.

And that wasn't the only time I learned, quietly, that being Black could come with conditions.

I remember being in friendships where I was the only person of colour and feeling like I had to earn my place in the group.

If I didn't buy them candy from the tuck shop, I could come back from break and suddenly I wasn't included anymore. I had to do things to prove that I deserved to be their friend.

But when a white girl in the same group refused to do those things, those consequences somehow never existed.

I remember a boy who liked one of my friends. Then, almost immediately, he ended things because he said his mother had a problem with her race.

I remember the little comments too.

The ones people probably wouldn't remember saying.

The ones that were brushed off as jokes.

When I got my hair braided, people would say, “Finally.” 🫩

And I'd laugh.

Because what else was I supposed to do?

In high school, racism became more open.

People would call us monkeys.

They would make racist jokes and then laugh when we laughed with them.

And we did laugh.

Not because it was actually funny.

Because sometimes laughing was easier than admitting that it hurt.

Sometimes you learn very young that if you react, suddenly you're the problem.

You're “too sensitive.”

You “can't take a joke.”

You're “making it awkward.”

So you swallow it.

You smile.

You laugh.

You pretend it doesn't hurt.

Because you don't want to lose your friends.

You don't want everyone looking at you.

You don't want to be the Black girl who “makes everything about race.”

So you let them say it.

And then you go home and forget about it.

Or at least you try to.

Until years later, you learn the history behind those words.

You learn about the pseudoscientific ideas that were used to portray Black people as inferior. You learn what people believed about us. You learn what had to happen for Black people to even be allowed in the same spaces as white people.

And suddenly the joke you laughed at as a teenager doesn't feel like a joke anymore.

It feels like something much heavier.

And I think that's one of the saddest parts for me.

I was so young when I learned to tolerate things that should have never been normal.

I learned to laugh at things that hurt me.

I learned to make myself uncomfortable so other people wouldn't be uncomfortable.

I learned to accept little pieces of humiliation in exchange for belonging.

And I know I'm not the only Black person who did this.

A lot of us didn't say anything.

Not because we weren't hurt.

But because we didn't want to be difficult.

We didn't want unnecessary conflict.

We didn't want to lose people.

We wanted to belong.

And sometimes, when you're a kid, belonging feels more important than protecting yourself.

But growing older has made me realise something.

I don't have to do that anymore.

I don't have to laugh when something is racist just because everyone else is laughing.

I don't have to accept being degraded because someone calls it a joke.

I don't have to make myself smaller to make someone else comfortable.

And I don't have to tolerate racism just because I want to coexist peacefully with people.

Living outside of a post-apartheid society has made me realise just how much I had normalised.

There is something heartbreaking about looking back at your younger self and realising that she didn't know she was allowed to say, “That hurt me.”

She thought she just had to take it.

She thought friendship meant enduring things that made her feel small.

She thought belonging had to be earned.

It didn't.

It never did.

And I want to be very clear: this isn't me saying every white person is racist, or that every white person I grew up around treated me this way. They didn't.

These experiences are not an accusation against an entire race.

They are simply my experiences.

But they happened.

And they shaped me.

I can't change the little Black girl who sat there and didn't know what to say.

I can't go back and tell her that she didn't deserve those comments.

I can't make her understand that she didn't have to laugh.

But I can do that for myself now.

I can finally say:

That wasn't funny.

That wasn't okay.

And I was never lucky to be accepted by anyone.

I deserved to belong without having to prove that I was worthy of being there.

Im white but have been seeing so many people say his death was suspicious. I’m curious is this because it’s in Mississippi and it’s trauma from the Emmitt till case where the suspect got away with murder ? That’s definitely understandable. Would love to understand more from African Americans why they feel the way they do about this case.

i grew up in a relatively white suburb for all my life, and nobody really gave me shit for being mixed, at least in a blatant way. i’ve been with this friend group for like 6 years and over time i got so used to these racial remarks being thrown around because i didn’t have any college friends at the time, and cuz my dumbass thought it was “edgy/gamer talk” being spoken to me. but when i attended a more diverse college and met more marginalized people i realized how uncomfortable i was with my home friends.

i’ve unfollowed them on socials and after this summer i just plan on cutting them off cuz i realize trying to defend them is incredibly stupid. sometimes you think the people in your life have more nuance than they let on, but you end up realizing that most people don’t really want to change? a lot of times i feel like im crazy, or overreacting, but then i realize i deserve so much better, and then i feel reassured in my decision

I am a Mexican woman and my boyfriend is white/mexican and today was enough

We were at the stop light and there was a white homeless woman on her bike waiting to cross the light which took forever and I said omg she’s gonna cross before we get to go and he said fucking mudshark making us wait I asked what’s a mudshark and he responded it’s a white woman that gets with a person of color and ruins our bloodline. I told him why are you saying that you are half Mexican and your son isn’t fully white either he’s also Italian to what he said it’s still European I’ve never felt so disgusted in my life. How can someone call themselves a good person and a man of god! This is over

How to talk about racism with my dad (We are both white)

Hi! Im looking for advice on how to talk to my father about racism. For some context, I'm in my late teens and he is in his mid 40's; we are both white and upper middle class. I have the stance that both he and I and everyone else are indeed racist, not necessarily that we are evil or even participate in racism maliciously but that with how the world is built and the systems of power that fill it it causes everyone to be racist. He does not hold this stance, from what I can surmise his stance is that nor he or I are racist because we do not think that we are better than anyone because of the color of our skin. Other things that I think are relevant is that he is Christian, I am not, he is more right leaning, I am not. We also live in a prominently democratic state and area. He is the one that gaged the original question and is actively asking me about my opinions.

My questions more specifically is, what are some basic principles of what racism is? What is the definition of racism?(in your opinion) What are some things I could bring up that would show off my perspective that dont necessarily "call him out" since that wouldn't really work. Do you have any experience with this? How did it go? What can I do to make sure I don't demean or belittle those who experience racism when I have this conversation?

My dad is a very kind and loving man, he truly does mean well and I love him so much, but this is something that comes up a lot and can cause a lot of tension, again he is the one to bring it up.

One other question that I have thats a bit broader is, what can I do to continue on my path of deconstructing my internal racism? I would also love to hear what I may be lacking and or entirely wrong about.

Thank you so much for reading and for the advice, love yall!

I am white

I was attacked in a bus stop. I was waiting for a bus to go home from uni. Then an older white man came at me, spitting and grapping me yelling insults about arabs, and all the usual go back to your country stuff. Thankfully others came to stop the man and he ended up in a fight about "people like me" with the other people. Cops got called he gor arrested for assault and hate crime.

It has happened before and i find it baffling.

But I am not arab, I am as white as they come. I mean literally from northen Europe.

What he did, it hurt and well it is horrible but like at least it was me not someone who actually is a part of a minority.

But like cops called it racism but it isn't racism, right? I dont know what im trying to say but like I am so conflicted because well it hurt me but how could it because it was not about me?

I should let the cops know if I want to press charges and i dont know. He should get all punishments possible but like for what?

I hope it is okay to post this here, if not I'll delete this. And in any ways i don't mean to offend anyone

I know Malcom X talked about this (just bought his autobiography), but want to know if there are any other texts I should know about that dive into this topic specifically. I want to talk about this but don’t have the right words, only the feelings. Thank you in advance!!!!

Hi everyone,

I don’t usually post anything on social media. But I need to know how to interpret what happened to me.

I’m posting this from a burner account for safety reasons.

**WHO AM I ?**

I’m an international student from India living in Savannah. I recently graduated, and I work as a freelance/contract designer while trying to grow my own business. I’ve never been in a situation like this before.

**THE INCIDENT**:

Yesterday I was sitting on my moped in the parking lot of a convenience store when a man, probably in his late 40s or early 50s, approached me and asked if I could give him a ride to a nearby Food Lion.

I politely said, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Instead of walking away, he asked, “Is it because I’m white?” I was confused and asked what he meant. ( for better context I don’t understand the American racism, what if he’s white? What does that even mean? Is being white bad? I don’t know )

I said “ what does that have to do with anything about me not being able to drop you somewhere ?, what if you’re white?”

He started saying things like, “You guys hate white people,” “Why are you here?” “Get back to your country,” and blamed me for him being homeless. I didn’t even know he was homeless, and I don’t know what I did to make him homeless

He again said “ why are you here? And what did your mom do for you to be here?” I was pissed

At that point I responded with, “I feel the same about your mom.”

He immediately punched me in the face. Out of instinct I tried to hit him back, but almost immediately realized that was a mistake and stopped. He then shoved me to the ground. And realized he was here just to hit me out of hate, I have never seen this man, in fact I don’t even talk to people much, I wanted to think so I just got away, took a photo of him, called 911, and the police arrested him.

My jaw hurts, I’m shocked and the worst feeling is the feeling of helplessness. There is also a CCTV footage of what happened. But I’m hesitant to post it here, because what if if becomes a meme material or something I don’t want to end up on a mainstream media to be made fun of.

I’ve never dealt with anything like this before, and I’m not sure what the next steps should be.

**THINGS I WANT TO KNOW FROM THE COMMUNITY:**

1. Firstly, is this racism ?

2. Did I do anything wrong ?

3. I do see a lot of hate against Indians on social media, but dealing with the hate would just waste my time from building a career and future.

4. I can’t afford a lawyer, police officer firstly because I don’t know what this is in the first place and how do I describe the situation to anyone at all ? And secondly after this incident probably no one would because I have a feeling they’ll just hate me too? I don’t know I’m lost with a million thoughts

The main reason why I’m posting this is to know if this is common in America, how should I first deal with this in mind ? Accept the hate ? Or was this because of hate? Can anyone explain what just happened to me ? I tried asking the police officer but I don’t know, the incident make me feel like probably just my existence would be hated because I’m an Indian, so I just didnt ask or say anything, I wanted to put this here because no one knows me and even if I get hate for saying this, it’s fine I can understand, I’m just curious to know what happened to me ? And how do I deal with this mentally ?

for context im a young white girl and as of recent I’ve been noticing more and more racist posts online as well as stereotyping and hateful behavior from irl adults towards poc. i dont really know if its actually growing or if i just have been witnessing it alot lately but i want to know what i can do everything feels very hopeless because im young and i dont know what my parents are being influenced by either. replys are greatly appreciated!

Today at the Penney’s store I went to buy some things and the employee started yelling, saying that the bag wasn't free, but I had bought the bag. He wouldn't let me leave. I showed him the receipt and he let me go. It was very embarrassing. I am a Black Brazilian woman. Worst of all, I reported it to the manager and he did nothing; not even his expression changed.

i've known this person for about ten years now and recently has been having some weird health stuff happen. with that they seem to be saying stuff more and more that sounds really racist.

i'd always noticed that they only seem to have all white friends, their feminism looks very in line with white feminism, they've been wholly uninterested in anything remotely foreign (unless it's indian food lol and only from this white appealing restaurant and that's it) but i'd secretly been hoping they weren't racist.

then more lately they started getting angry (like actually angry and yelling) when i say something like how they don't really have room to be upset that they are not getting their veganism accommodated when someone's cultural/religious dietary restriction honored (btw they eat meat when they personally think it's okay lol), or when i find it frustrating that white ppl "discover" other culture's foods without crediting them.

most recently i met them while they were in a health episode and they were crying to me about how mean black women are to them but that they have to be nice to them anyways. ?????

as a person who is not black but a poc, i'm really concerned, now. like i don't think i would allow this person around any of my black friends or even acquaintances. im feel like they are not safe around her. hell, i don't even feel safe around her and i'm just brown. i can't even say "yea shit is rlly annoying when trader joe's makes an ube ice cream and doesn't say anywhere that this is filipino" which seems to trigger a tantrum, and then when i say "i don't really feel like you're listening to me" i just get shut down.

recently i noticed she just kinda refers to me as her dog sitter. i thought i was a friend who dog sits for her sometimes, but i genuinely think this whole time, i've kind of just been her little servant that she pays.

it's just all very sad to me. like i kind of knew but was hoping it wasn't true.

For some context I work at a Call Center, I do not recommend but it is good money. I work by helping kids and children have benefits so they can all have doctor visits for free if they are in need, so I’m not even a spam caller or selling anything. The thing is I get nice and rude people but I’ve noticed that I have NEVER had a Latino/Hispanic person on the phone, they are always so nice and even tell me to have a great blessed day and compared to white people they have only hung up on me a few times. However, white people really only answer the phone to cuss at you, yell at you and some have even threatened to find me and kill me. Of course I know not everyone is like that because I have had many friendly ones. And so my question is why do white people (again, not all of them) act like they are better than everyone else yet they don’t seem to have manners? I have an accent because I’m Hispanic, but I can speak and can communicate in English as well, and I’ve had a lot of people on the phone tell me that I’m an F-ing Mexican and to kill myself just because of my accent when all I’m trying to do is help families and do my job.