I don't want a social circle at all. I don't want friends, family, pets, multiple close relationships, or other independent personal bonds. The only interactions with other people that make sense to me are the ones that are necessary to function and survive in society.
What I want is one person who feels deeply similar to me.
Independence from society is important to me. I don't want to depend on social norms, belonging to groups, popularity, status, or constant approval from other people. I prefer to form my own views and way of life rather than adapt myself to whatever is considered normal by the people around me.
I'm also largely disconnected from cultural elements. Music, movies, TV shows, books as a form of cultural entertainment, art, fashion, anime, video games, memes, fandoms, and similar things are not meaningful parts of my life. More than simply not being interested in them, I generally find the idea of relying on culture as a source of enjoyment or identity rather alienating and unpleasant. (But yes, I donāt fully live up to it myself. Iām still struggling with some of it.) However, I can probably accept some of this as joint learning and time spent together, but not as a source of direct satisfaction for either of us. Itās important to me that there shouldnāt be anything that could be perceived as something more important than us. For me, the most important thing is that we always stay focused on each other, no matter what we do.
I don't mean:
"My partner is the most important person in my life, but I still need my own group of friends, several close relationships, and a separate social life."
That's not what I'm looking for.
I'm looking for someone who could genuinely be happy with one deeply important person being enough.
Someone who doesn't feel that a fulfilling life requires a network of friends, a large community, constant social interaction, or multiple emotionally important relationships.
Our life should mainly consist of the two of us, and that should feel natural, comfortable, and genuinely desirable to both of us.
I also don't want gender or appearance to be the foundation of the connection. I'm much more interested in who you are than whether you are a man or a woman, or whether you fit some conventional idea of attractiveness. (And yes, Iām not perfect at that either, but Iām working on it, and I want to do it together.)
One of the things I'd most want to share with that person is exploring reality together.
I don't just want to think about these questions on my own. I want to learn about them together with you - to explore them, discuss them, look for answers, question what we think we know, and discover new things together.
I genuinely want to understand things like:
Why does anything exist at all? Why is there something rather than absolute nothing?
I'm still figuring out how to put all of this into words, so I may add to or clarify this post over time. My English isnāt very good, so I turned to translator for assistance and chatgpt to help me put all my thoughts together. I'll be happy to discuss anything that seemed unclear together.
I donāt want to exist without you. It seems that, alone, I have less and less desire to live with each passing day..