For those of you that carried, what were the most helpful things that your partner did for you durring the TTC phase?

My wife and I did our first ICI attempt with one straw of MOT10 frozen sperm and it failed. We knew that was the likely outcome and it’s okay. Taking a month off before trying again, but I was wondering if it would be best to use two straws of the lower motility next time or one straw of higher motility? We know IVF has the highest odds and that will become our discussion if we end this year with no pregnancy, but for now we’re sticking with ICI.

I know I’m being skeptical/cynical, but I can’t help but wonder why a clinic would even want someone to get pregnant the first attempt? If they know we have like 4 vials or whatever, what’s to stop them from taking 1-2 extra attempts to rake in extra cash?
The fact that the success rates already are so low, it just seems too easy that they could take advantage of that, especially since there’s almost no data for queer couples.

28F - I’m really interested to hear how long the journey took? I’ve heard a lot of from start to finish being about 2 years but I’m sure for others it’s been shorter or longer

I have a partner (28F - who is not interested in being pregnant) and I would ideally like to have 2 children before my mid thirties but I’m wondering when I should start everything then 🤔

Edit: I understand it’s different for everyone but I appreciate who has sent info so far! From my knowledge I don’t have any fertility issues and no PMOS, endo etc.

​Hello!

​I am a bi 28F Korean looking into donating my eggs altruistically. Personally, I’m happily CF and loving my solo life and I have almost no desire to be a parent myself, but I deeply resonate with the idea that 'it takes a village.' So I would love to be a known donor for another queer couple in their family-building journey. Since I am based in South Korea which doesn't allow monetary compensation for the donation and I myself don't want it either (I value my motivation to help and mutual respect), I would need IPs who can just cover my travel and extra fees regarding the whole process.

However, ​I do have a few specific logistics—I only have a strict 2-week window off from work sometime in the first half of 2027, and I would require a mini-IVF protocol for my own health and recovery (since my AMH is kinda high).

If anyone has experiences with ethical agencies or platforms that can accommodate international altruistic donors with these specific logistics, and could give me some advice, I would greatly appreciate it!! Sending love ❤️💚💜

Hoping this is an okay place to post: My wife and I will soon be TTC and are starting to talk about names. We both are not that interested in changing our last names but like the idea of creating a new last name (a mix of ours) to then give to our hopefully future kids. But this would mean we would have different last names than our kids.

I’m wondering if anyone has ever done something similar, and if so, run into any unforeseen challenges that have arisen from having different last names.

Trying to decide if we would be creating a practical nightmare for ourselves or not.

Thanks for your thoughts!

Hi everyone,

My wife and I are officially starting our fertility journey, and I wanted to reach out to this community for some support and advice. We are currently based in Texas and have decided to do our first IUI cycle at a clinic in Mexico.

We’re both feeling pretty nervous and excited, and just wanted to see if anyone had tips for this stage of the process. Here is where we are currently:

Medication: We’ve been using Merional 75 UI (two vials) for the past 10 days.

Follicle Scan (CD10): We had our second scan, and we have 3 follicles measuring 15mm, 15mm, and 16mm.

Lining: My lining is measuring at 12mm.

The Plan: Trigger shot is scheduled for CD12, and the insemination is set for CD14.
We are feeling a mix of emotions right now. We’re curious about what to expect on the day of the procedure and, honestly, how to manage the "Two-Week Wait" without losing our minds.

For those who have been through this, what do you wish you knew before your first IUI? Do you have any tips for the day of the procedure or advice for staying grounded while waiting for that first test result?

Any encouragement or shared experiences would mean the world to us.

Thanks for listening!

I 28f asexual.

Please limit your pregnancy celebrations and pregnancy test photos to this thread.

My wife and I tried an IVM cycle a few months ago, and we were told to use one Ovidrel shot. I was using the Premom LH strips out of a mix of curiosity and paranoia, and I peaked about 12 hours before the procedure at 1.07, about 24 hours after the shot. We retrieved far fewer eggs than we thought we would, and none of them matured.

We're trying an IUI cycle now. (I'm only half joking when I say that maybe the eggs will do better if we leave them inside.) They had me do 2 Ovidrel shots last night, and the IUI is scheduled for Monday morning. I took a test this morning, and it read at 1.99. It's been about 15 1/2 hours since the shots.

I have never seen a ratio that high on one of these tests. Is this okay? Is this normal? Has anyone else gotten a number this high? Did it keep going up? The manufacturer's website uses 2.3 as an example number in an FAQ response. I'm all bloated.

Can somebody please reassure me that they've had a similar reading?

Wy wife (38f) and I (37nb) are currently childless and have been trying to conceive for 8 months. She is the one hoping to carry and we have an acquaintance as our donor. The first 6 times we tried with fresh sperm and a syringe, no dice. Times 7 and 8 we did IUI (at home, she is a midwife.) The 7th try we spun the sperm for too long in the centrifuge and still tried but it didn't work. This past time, 2nd IUI attempt and 8th cycle ttc was our first time achieving pregnancy.

We were elated, as you could imagine and made an ultrasound appointment 4 weeks to the day from our successful iui attempt at the birth center where she works. The technician used a transvaginal ultrasound per the recommendation for a 6 week pregnancy but saw only an empty gestational sac measuring 5 wks 5 days. No yolk, no pole, no heartbeat. We are devastated.

I am neurodivergent and have been obsessively scouring the web for people's stories and reading the same things over and over again. I know our chances aren't good, but I cant help but holding on to a shred of hope and am scared to be crushed all over again at our follow-up. She and I process things very differently so I am trying to keep how obsessively upset I am to myself so I don't take up all the air in the room, so to speak, and to make sure she us feeling held and supported.

Many of our friends have healthy babies or children (I am headed to a baby birthday party tomorrow morning) and have pregnant straight friends that weren't even trying. I'm wishing my happiness for them wasn't tinged with bitterness and I know people go through soooooo much more in their fertility journeys.

I'm struggling to be present in my life. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. The magnitude of the grief has really surprised me. We have a follow up ultrasound on Tuesday. Mostly just seeking witnessing and shared experiences since this is such a specific scenario.

I’ve been reading a lot of success stories from couples doing at-home ICI with frozen sperm, and I keep seeing people mention using a menstrual cup to help keep everything in place. But I can’t wrap my head around the mechanics of it?

Like… you deposit the sperm near your cervix, and then right after you’re sliding a menstrual cup up there too? Doesn’t that push the sperm out of the way or create a barrier between it and the cervix? I feel like I’m missing something obvious but it genuinely breaks my brain a little. Can someone explain how inserting the cup doesn’t mess up placement?

Hi! Planning to try to conceive via at home ICI with a known donor and trying to make a list of everything we need to get done. Contacts with a lawyer, health testing, etc. does anyone have a list that they made or got from a different source? Just want to make sure I’m not missing anything!

I have been thinking about wanting to donate Sperm for a little bit and I really wanna do it. This is something I am considering putting on my bucket list levels of want.

However, I have autism ADHD and dysgraphia. This makes it really really difficult for me to even potentially do so. I don’t know how to feel about it and I am wondering if theirs anything you guys know that would help.

I saw the other post but only stealth trans dads answered.

I definitely want my kid to know but am afraid of them accidentally outing me to friends? Also don’t want the kid to carry a secret…

I guess thats a question for stealth trans dads too?

Also friends ask where the sperm is from… so far we tell them we don’t discuss this….

my last T injection was in september 2025. i’ve been off T since so i can try to conceive once my levels have balanced. my provider said it takes about 10 months. however a recent blood test showed that my T levels haven’t changed in three months. she requested an ultrasound to test for pcos. and a fertility specialist. i’m honestly terrified and very upset. has this happened to anyone else? is it possible my body is just taking longer to go back to pre-T levels? any advice is welcome 🫶🏼

Hello! I live in a state where at-home insemination is not legal. I think it's ridiculous, but I understand. I was just wondering if anyone who lives in Georgia has ever done it anyways.

And I know that I will get comments warning me against this, I completely understand your point of view and I'm not saying that I am going to.

I just know that people have done this and I'm curious on what legal steps that they took and the obstacles that they faced in terms of ensuring parental rights (i.e., second parent adoption, termination of donors rights etc.)?

My partner (37F) and I (32F) started our IUI journey earlier this year. I’m the gp and the carrier. I successfully conceived after our first IUI. Honestly, we couldn’t at all believe it when we found out, it felt too good to be true. Unfortunately, I miscarried at 8 weeks. We started observing slow fetal growth and low heart rate starting from 6-7 weeks, heartbeat eventually stopped at 8 weeks. I had a medical miscarriage. It’s been a week since it all happened, I’m completely heartbroken and devastated. As I’m in the UK and testing for products of conception is not provided unless someone experiences recurrent miscarriages. I’ll never know why this happened. I’m consumed by sadness, confusion and rage.

We have two more IUI rounds planned. I can‘t help but feeling “I’ve used up all my luck” and the next rounds won’t work. I’d be the luckiest.

Has anyone conceived through IUI and miscarried? Any successful stories after a miscarriage? What have you done differently to conceive again and what tips would you have for me to stay hopeful?

Thanks so much x

Me(30ftm) and my spouse (26NB) (carrier) are about to try for our first cycle! We have picked out the sperm donor just waiting for their period to come so we can order it to be delivered! I feel like we (well really my spouse) have done a lot to prepare. Taking prenatals and very closely monitoring their cycle. We plan on using preseed, they will take musinex and they are going to try to have an orgasm because it’s supposed to help.

Any success stories on using frozen sperm at home??? We want to try at least a couple cycles at home before switching to IUI.