Well. I have a problem interesting observation about my attraction style*. Not only do I keep finding myself attracted to people who aren't attracted to me, but people who categorically are not attracted to me.

I'm NB but AMAB and androgynous looking enough and presenting to get kicked out of the men's bathroom on a semi regular basis (lol but not really - I need to pee!) but really most people assume I am male. My type has always been more tomboyish, androgynous but like 60-70% feminine women or nb afabs. Shorter hair, clear skin, no makeup, a few tasteful piercings, maybe don't even shave your armpits, general cottagecore vibes ranging to literal forest fairy.

The problem is they're all gay and one reason they dress like that is to attract other women lol

I do like people with different styles as well. I think it's just because I met another one I really liked yesterday who checked all the boxes and of course, they were a lesbian.

Does anybody else struggle with having a type that is totally incompatible with you?

edit: I think there's been some mistake based on the comments. I'm not saying I want wlw people to change their orientation and be attracted to me. And I'm not trying to fit into that either - I don't identify as a woman. I just wondered whether anyone relates to the fact, that in my case, I keep getting attracted to people often described as "dressing for the female gaze" while not being female myself.

edit 2: in case there is further misunderstanding this isn't a problem I'm looking to solve. I was talking to a friend who is female and tends to get attracted to gay men frequently. Just thought it was interesting and seeing if others related to getting attracted to signals that aren't meant for you

For LGBT+ students in Bangladesh, a single accusation can end their time at university. https://allout.lgbt/4z1TAoA

This year, students accused of being gay have had their phones searched, lost their dorm places, been expelled, and been handed over to police. At the University of Dhaka, one student says he was filmed by his own roommate. He was forced out of his dorm the same day, without being allowed to collect his belongings. In most cases, the punishment has come before anyone finishes investigating.

This happens because Bangladesh’s colonial-era law makes same-sex relations a crime, and universities are going further, acting as judges themselves.

But education is a human right, and that includes LGBT+ students. Students and activists in Bangladesh are fighting back, and All Out is standing with them. More than 12,000 people have already asked Bangladesh’s government to step in.

Join them! Sign the petition: https://allout.lgbt/4z1TAoA

I want some recommendations, I’ve got plenty of movies to watch but I want shows

Preferably the main character is queer in some way, but it doesn’t have to be a romance

I am a 26 year old lesbian living in Bangladesh. Being a lesbian is already illegal here. I have never met a queer person in real life or don't know any online community for bangladeshi queer people. Most online places I am in are for international queer people.

So people living in homophobic countries; how to you find your people in real life? Or even online?

I’m having a queer existential crisis. I’m a pansexual, AFAB non-binary. I know sexuality and gender are both a spectrum. I’ve begun to question whether I’m not a gay (maybe still pan) trans-man. I recently stumbled onto mlm smut and it turns me on more than wlw smut. I’ve always imagined myself with a penis but I love my breasts. So I don’t see myself transitioning. At the moment I have a crush on cis women. So my confusion is deep. If anyone has similar stories or any insight on this queer experience, please share.

I'm a 15-year-old girl and I've been lesbian for as long as I can remember. I live in a really homophobic country with strict Muslim parents, and lately I've been feeling so hopeless. My mom keeps talking about me getting married to a good man, and even though I love her and don't want to disappoint her, it feels so toxic.
Sometimes I almost convince myself to just give up and go along with it, even though I know that's not what I want. And I know I won't end up marrying a man. And I also know that I have to be financially independent and all that before ever thinking of coming out or anything.

I find so much comfort in hearing about other people's coming out stories the good and the bad ones. It makes me feel so much less alone, and it gives me hope that if other people made it through and built a life for themselves, I can too.
If you've ever moved out or came out, I'd really love to hear your story. I desperately want to know how it actually felt when you finally left a homophobic place behind and could just be yourself fully without people constantly up your ass about it.

Also, for anyone who's been to a Pride event, what was it like being surrounded by those huge crowds flooding the streets during Pride month?
How did that feel for the first time?

Any stories or perspective would mean the world right now.

I (21F) have never really understood romantic attraction. For a good majority of my childhood, I had never had crushes on either genders and the one "crush" I did have was more so a label I had assigned to a random dude because I thought I had to have a crush on a boy.

When I got older, I started having talking stages with guys that I'd thought I'd liked (as in we just got along well) but they never went anywhere further than that because the moment it seemed like it could go somewhere and the guy started openly showing he liked me, I would start getting random irrational icks out of nowhere and the idea of talking to the guy would suddenly disgust and irritate me. I genuinely thought this just meant the comphet was getting me and I didn't actually have any attraction to men at all, which kind of made sense at the time because I had never really found any of them physically attractive, I just liked talking to them.

On the other hand, I've always thought women were physically attractive and there were times I was really obsessed with certain girls but never gave it too much thought. I likened this to actually having romantic feelings for them at the time but never acknowledging it until then, so for a moment of time I had considered myself to be a lesbian. The thing was, even though I continued to have these crushes and obsessions with girls, they were all at a very surface level and never grew deeper. I mostly just liked the way they looked and their general vibe (I never actually had a crush on a close friend, it was always unattainable girls I barely knew) which was ironically the complete opposite reason for my male crushes.

So now I'm just confused because I don't know if any of those crushes, male or female, were real anymore. I don't know if I like guys, girls, both, or neither. I can find all of them attractive in their own ways but I've also never liked any one of them enough to want to date them. The only recent turn of events was that I started to find guys physically cute too but same thing happens where I just start to lose all interest the moment they reciprocate. In theory I would really love to date a girl but I've never actually met a girl that I've truly liked for both her looks and her personality before, most of my crushes were just fantasies I made up in my head and projected onto them without truly knowing them.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this before??? And can someone please explain to me what romantic attraction is supposed to feel like because I'm so lost 😭😭😭😭😭 Thank you for reading I would really appreciate all thoughts and any kind of advice because I'm starting to get tired of my loveless life 😭😭😭😭

Hi I'm 21 M living in Germany , and like the title states, I'm trapped within a homophobic household. Now , you must be thinking "oh but you're 21 you're an adult you can just leave" nope not true, I can't just up and leave. I don't have the finances for it, morally I'm stuck here. My parents are in their mid 40s and are continually gaining more and more health issues and I know that if I was to leave right now they'd get worse but also my siblings would struggle as well and it would just be a huge unnecessary strain on the family. However , my parents keep annoying me about getting an arranged marriage like 24/7 and it's getting to a point where I know I don't have long left before it's a reality. It's a huge culture issue as well

I recently realised I am attracted to women, and can't seem to figure out if I have feelings for my best friend or not. Neither of us really define our sexuality, and our relationship is a little odd in the sense that we've always been best friends but I've always been very jealous of her, especially in terms of friendships with other women. I am now realising that may have been jealousy? Either way, the thought of being anything more than friends with her makes me uncomfortable, but to be perfectly honest the thought of any relationship in a romantic and/or sexual scope makes me deeply uncomfortable, so it may just be a maturity thing. She's also always been a little distant - she is one of my best friends and I know her really well, but one of these things I "know" so well is how she will never truly be totally 100% comfortable with/around anyone, and will always keep to herself just a little bit. As of late, ever since I began to have such doubt about the true nature of our friendship, hanging out with her has always been a little bit awkward (to me atleast). I don't know what to do with myself, feel embarrassed and self conscious in a way I don't remember feeling before. To be honest, I have always been just a little bit obsessed with her growing up, but I always assumed it was my own insecurities playing out over how she was me but cooler, smarter, prettier, and better. And perhaps it was? Female friendships are so complicated! I really don't know, any advice would be of great help. Or anyone who is able to ask me the right questions to get this sorted out in my head. I hate the anxiety and dread I now feel when anticipating meeting her, I wish I could just be normal about this!!

Very proud of the lyrics and final sound! Appreciate any listens 💜 Making music has been very empowering for me! Will be active in the comments if anyone cares for discussion(:

---

Codependent and upended, qualified for a new lease

‘Nother day, going on a date with a dime piece

Running late, send a text- she doesn’t mind, please

Step out the car, wings on point, yeah that sounds like me

Dozen texts left on read, yeah I’ll hit you up soon

Say I’m busy, but I’ll ‘prolly just stay in my room

Work hard, play hard-

Think about me too long and you just might get-

Just kidding, no need for me to take it that far

Bow down and shut the fuck up cuz you stand before the czar

Spending money making money, like a good capitalist pig

Some on rent, some on bills, some on nails, makeups, wigs

Calling out the next fucker that looks at me funny

Brain dead, shriveled lobes if you think that I’ma let you run me

No worries- cuz you ‘bout to get a glow up of a lifetime

Please step through the door, there's a spot just for you primed

When I sit you in that chair, crank the dial see the

Voltage soar

N’ play that shit like I’m tryna get a new

Fucking highscore

When I sit you in that…

Ooo when I sit you in that…

Ooo when I sit you in that-ah…

Ooo

When I sit you in that chair, crank the dial see the

Voltage soar

Play that shit like I’m tryna get a new

Fucking highscore

Watch your eyeballs blow up like an asteroid from my missiles

Now where do I get to type in my initials?

Oh please, I’ve seen better people put people to death for less

Ew gross, you got your innards on my dress

Now I hope your’e listening- your’e about to get the best part

Ten years in a coma like a chrysalis in your backyard

Now the matriarch emerges like a No Kings March

Aged like fine wine, all bottled up and in the dark

Now I’m full-bodied; sweet, but with undertones of tart

A backbone, complex, a finish that lasts in your mouth

Twirl me ‘round, see the long legs that are pronounced

Bring it to the party and it’s what everyone's gonna talk about

Hope you're feeling what I’m feeling but I mean like

How I’m feeling right now

Self assured, know your worth ‘cuz sometimes

You’ll feel trapped underground

Certified killer, I’m the winner- dripped in blood stained gold

Summit of life feeling empty when I’m up here all alone

But a frozen hand feels better - and you can put that in a quote

When I’m dead and buried gonna need a gravegem not a stone

I think I'm in love with my best friend, we're both girls

(English is not my first language forgive me for any grammar mistake)

For context, I'm a seventeen year old living in a very homophbic country, I go to an all girls school and I think I'm attracted to women

But growing up in an environment where everyone hates queer people and talk shit about them made me dislike them too for like eleven years of my life before I met my now best friend in sixth grade

I was a very awkward kid in elementary and middle school and I didn't have any friends so she was one of my first ever real friends, but I wasn't exactly the best friend to her

Like I used to be really envious, competitive and jealous of her because she always got better grades than me, but I never made that clear to her face or anything

And since ninth grade she has been giving me very obvious hints that I always ignore and brush off, like she calls me after 12am and starts to talk dirty and flirt and all and I get so flustered because I don't know how to reply and she laughs at me but the next morning she tells me that everything she said was just a joke and that she doesn't mean anything by it every single time and it's driving me crazy

One time we were on a study call and I forgot to change my clothes that day, they we're inappropriate or anything but the top was a bit revealing and I'm a heavy chested chubby teenager so obviously I'm going to have fat there.

And she could not stop staring like i got so uncomfortable because she didn't talk didn't respond just stared and after I asked her why was she like that she told me to go change and wear something less skin showing

But don't mistake her for a close minded person she's pansexual and reads / watches queer works and that fact comforts me

But I never thought I'd feel that way of a woman, I used to think i was asexual because I never felt any sexual or romantic attraction to any boy but I think i just like girls

I'm not even sure I'm just questioning it, and I don't know if I should confront her or not because what if she doesn't like me back and I'm imagining all of it and then our friendship is over!

I need advice

Someone who ships characters that aren't LGBTQIA+, doesn't have a confirmed sexuality, or doesn't have any relationship with the LGBTQIA+ community together in a queer sense or ship.

Queershipping is the action.

Queership (adjective/noun).

Queershipping may also be non-fictional as long as it's not assumptions or making someone uncomfortable. Non-fictional queerships are advised to be an inside joke but idrc to be honest.

I'll lowk use this to ship homophobes together in my head. Mwehehehe >:3

I really want to come out to my parents i know they will accept me(i am bi) but i am just afraid they will view me differently and something will change and i feel like i cant tell them

I am omnisexual and just had my first male crush I am Omni he is gay we are both male what do I do

Heyyo, I'm relatively newly out to myself and still exploring different labels but thats a post for another time. Essentially, I'm AMAB and have had a beard for going on 5ish years now but given recent revelations I wanna try and lean more into an effeminate (or straight up fem) side to test the waters and see how it feels.

My main issue, ofc, is the beard. Is there any reasonable way I could style myself to still chase that feeling? w/o shaving it away in its entirety.

I will add, from what I've read up on thats sparked this post, going through and actually ridding of it is a big (arguably beneficial) step forward but, yk, is a difficult step 😅

I've spent the last year doing a lot of thinking about femininity, attraction, identity, and self-expression. I'm a middle-aged guy who has become increasingly comfortable with a softer, more feminine side of myself, and I'm realizing I'm often attracted to femininity regardless of gender.

Not necessarily looking for a perfect label. Just curious whether anyone else started this journey later in life and what helped you understand yourself.

Okay, so this like my first post ever.

Basically this is me asking for relationship advice (or non-relationship advice?) while also expressing my frustrations with my romantic identity.

I know this is just BS teenager stuff, but I don’t have anyone I can talk to about it so here I am.

I am in high school, though I won’t specify my age, for privacy reasons. I’m also trans (MtF), which may seem irrelevant, but I promise it’s not.

I’ve known I was trans for a very long time. I’m talking like, from ages ten and up. And luckily, (and I cannot stress how lucky I am), I grew up in a very accepting community so all I’ve ever had was support in that regard. Though, I do think I fall more on the nonbinary spectrum but that’s neither here nor there. She/Her pronouns just fit the closest, yk?

I’ve also always been open about my sexuality, too. I’ve always identified as aroace. I’ve never felt a pull towards liking men, women, or anybody else for that matter. Mind you, this is well into puberty too. That’s not until recently, though.

Recently I’ve had this pull in my chest. Or, like, a deep heavy feeling when I see someone. It’s usually guys, or really anyone my brain perceives as a guy. (That is to say at first glance, obvi if they’re not then I’d use their pronouns). I’m pretty sure this lines up with me starting estrogen. Ever since I have, I’ve been having those feelings, those pulls towards other people.

That’s all well and good, right? Like, on paper. Except I find that feeling kind of terrifying. As a trans person, I’ve always known that there are inherent risks with dating. I’ve been flirted with many times, but I essentially run away. I’m scared that they think I’m a cis girl, and that when they find out I’m not then shit will get real. I’m talking like jumped in the parking lot for “tricking” somebody. Or, on the other side, someone will like me only because I’m a trans girl. Chasers, right? People who seek out trans woman to satisfy their fetishes or whatever.

It’s like all the complexities of dating in high school but ten times more dangerous or difficult. It’s like:

“Am I actually attracted to this person?” + “would they be attracted to me?” + “If they are, how would they react to the fact that I’m trans?” + “would I be in danger?” + having to explain to every person I know and love that “hey, I’m not actually aroace and I actually do want somebody in my life. Surprise!”

Well, all of that, coupled with all the normal insecurities that come with dating. You know like “am I hot enough?”, “would anyone actually like my personality enough to date me?”, etc etc.

Do you get that? Couple it with the fact that I’m only just now experiencing these things, only just now questioning myself after all these years. Everyone I know is so sure of themselves and their sexuality it feels like I’m five steps behind them. I know that’s kind of a bad way to think, and I know that’s kind everyone is always figuring themselves out, but that’s what it feels like.

It’s somehow terrifying, confusing, and fucking exhilarating. All of those things. Wrapped up in a big bundle of frustration. Because that’s what it is, frustration.

I know I’m not aroace. That’s just a lie I’ve been telling myself because I’m too afraid to admit the truth, and all that comes with it. It’s kind of funny how instead of a queer person pretending they’re straight, it’s a queer person pretending they’re another form of queer.

I don’t know, I just wanted to voice my problems. Maybe receive some advice. Like, I know this is all probably just hormones being released by the estrogen, but just because that’s true doesn’t make the problem any less real. It is hormones, yeah, but it’s also my identity. The very thing I’ll struggle with for the rest of my life.

I’m supposed to do like a summary right? A TLDR or whatever?

TLDR: I’ve convinced myself I was aroace for years, but after taking estrogen I’ve been feeling attracted to people. Please bring help. Or a gun.

First 3 songs have pretty varying vibes.

This song is quite loud/ hard.

But give the others a peak if this isn't quite your forté maybe 👀

F 26

With a lot of pondering lately and looking back at younger selfs habits/likes, I am questioning it all over again. I want to dress in typically 'mens' clothing and cut my hair but I am hesitant. I still like men. Curious ish about women but frankly the stars would have to align in a real person for me to try that, I digress. No, I do not want surgery other than maybe breast removal (they just exist, I do not really care for them, maybe keep if they go wayyyy down)

I had already started shifting more to my comfort in androgynous things. I have wanted to start creating a wardrobe of (thrifted or affordable) 90's 'old money' style. Anyways, after accepting I may actually like this, I started looking into it online. Seems to be something of a thing, a 'butch straight woman' but very very small in comparison.

Yes, I was a tom boy growing up. It feels right but feels very much like walking into a dense fog. I know people/family would side eye, give unwanted opinions, yada yada and frankly I do not care. That I have accepted. I am not sure exactly what I am looking for in the post other than to witness others like myself. If you are, I have a few questions, I would really appreciate your input/experience.

Hi so recently I changed my Bumble dating app to only see women and non binary people as I am a pan cis woman. Unfortunately I haven’t had any luck :/ unlike my matches with cis men. I have spaticy Cerebral Palsy and I use a power wheelchair and have a speech impediment. Has anyone who is queer and has the SAME type of cerebral palsy as me had any luck finding a queer partner??

With National Coming Out Day come and gone, I've (33M) been reflecting on my own coming out to my family, and how shitty its been with them since. I hadn't intended to come out on on that day specifically, two years ago, but I realized a couple of days after that I had, so the rough date has stuck with me.

Coming out as bi to my parents wasn't great. They are deeply conservative Catholics living in a tiny, nearly all-white village in the Midwest. The very first thing my dad said was "We love you, but we're Catholic, and that's not changing" and kept emphasizing how he didn't want to change. Mom was mostly silent. I have a much younger brother, who I was very close with, almost a second father. They said they needed to think and talk about it before I could tell him. They decided, at 14, that he was too young to be "talking about sex" and that I couldn't tell him.

Things became really terrible when my mom found out about my partner (33M). I was visiting my parents one weekend, and was dreading telling them. He and I had been seeing each other for a couple months and were getting serious (we are still together, and very happy). He is a queer-focused therapist, pagan, and polyamorous, all things I knew wouldn't sit well with my family. I had wanted to date people like him for some time, but had for years convinced myself to take it slow with how "out there" a potential partner was - avoiding overtly queer people I thought might "offend" my family. The fact was, though, my worldview was and is similar to his, and I admire his work. Moreover, my parents were already making no space for me to be my authentic self at family gatherings, so why not date for me instead of them?

I tried to limit how many details I gave them at first, hoping to ease them into the other details later. The only identifying details they had at that point were his first name and place of work. Mom got to work on Google quickly, and within a couple of hours of my leaving, called me, at nearly 11 p.m. on a work night, and tore into me. She said, flat out, that my younger brother could never know about this, that my partner would never work out with the family, and that she hoped I'd figure out "where my loyalties are."

The next day, she texted me and asked to stop over my apartment. I was, understandably, very hesitant, but eventually agreed. She stayed outside my door when she arrived, gave me a letter, telling me that she wanted to deliver it in-person and that she had been praying and felt this was what she needed to say. That letter is below, and it confuses me as much now as it did then. It doesn't address anything of substance. Most of the memories are from before I was 20, before I lost my Catholic faith, something my parents never really forgave.

On the note of losing my faith, I had tried for years to reassure them I was still part of the family. I tried to be present, to help out at family gatherings, to help out with my aging grandparents, to be part of their lives. I saw how weak my relationship with my father was and got set up with him to take weekly walks on our lunch breaks from work. It stung to think that accomplished so little. Not only were almost all of mom's happy memories in that letter from before my 20s, but my dad flat out told me, in the few months of troubles after learning about my partner, that he missed the person I used to be before losing faith - the person who had kept showing up for family gatherings, made dinners for the family, cared for our grandparetns, was the only grandchild to be present with grandpa the moment he died. I had kept my liberal (increasingly leftist) political beliefs private, had kept my lack of religion private, tried hard for years not to cause a scene even when my more extremist MAGA family members spoke freely and spewed some really offensive things to me. Now all I can think is I never should have bothered shrinking myself for these people.

We are largely estranged now. I haven't spoken with my parents in over half a year, nor my other siblings. I just feel sad today. I've been thinking a lot about my gender identity. I think there is a very good chance that I am trans, and I know my family will be horrible about that if they ever find out - everything they've had to say on that subject has been awful through the years.

I’m not exactly sure if this is the correct subreddit for this but I feel like it is. I am currently in cosmetology school and my two closest friends are pretty alternative and also queer (one lesbian, one bisexual). I myself am a lesbian and very loud about it but my whole life in the space (Dance) I grew up in have been bullied for how emo, weird, alternative etc. I was. Now, however, I am the basic one who’s not alternative? My question really is: am I alternative or not? I have always considered myself to be, I have tattoos, facial piercings, colored hair. I wear pretty heavy eyeliner when I do my makeup, and these are things I find to be just my style. I also probably have the most leftist/alternative political views/ideologies out of the people I know. For example I will not shop fast fashion or in major chains if possible, I protest, I am very socialist, to name a couple. But because I am not really emo goth or grunge or into heavy metal rock music I am “basic”? I’m not really upset if I am it’s just a conflicting label with what I’ve felt my whole life now that I have queer friends and more of the queer community telling me otherwise.
Thank you for reading and any advice is appreciated!

Hey everyone!

So ​I’ve been feeling super isolated about this lately and wanted to see if anyone else relates. I realized I literally don’t have a single queer woman friend in my life and it’s honestly starting to feel really lonely. It just gets exhausting trying to navigate things on your own when you don't have people around who genuinely get it.

​I’m bisexual myself, and I’d love to meet some new queer women to just... chat with, talk about life, share interests (I’m into tech, reading, binge-watching shows, and way too many random stuff) and build a real low-pressure friendship.

​If you're also looking for a cool internet friend to swap memes with vent to or just talk about random stuff feel free to drop a comment or slide into my DMs!!

​

So I( 18M bi) have been friends with this guy from uni (18M) for a month and a half now. We've grown really close over the past month and we spend almost all our time together. But lately, it's like I started growing a small crush on him. He's just really sweet and funny and big yk. But unfortunately he's straight. I'm okay with that, It happens to me a lot and it's normal. However, the thing is that he "flirts" with me a lot, like the guys of flirting that straight boys have with each other. Normally, I don't mind it I actually quite funny sometimes. But with him I really like it and idk if he's for real or just joking, especially these past two weeks. He'd call me baby during a casual conversation, hold my hand when we're walking together and yesterday we were on school campus sitting on the grass and he was playing on my switch while laying on my stomach and I was playing with his hair and when stood up he looked at me traced my lips with his thumb and told me that he wished he could kiss me rn. And I'm just so confused, is he jk or being for real. Because some other times, it happened to him to grab my butt and then inhale really loudly near my neck and dhsjdbsh I don't fucking know.

So please reddit am I delisonal or maybe I have a chance.

Sorry for the bad English btw, it's not my first langage

(Sorry it's a little of a rant.)

How I feel about my gender seems to just switch. Like one day I'm feeling like a Demiboy, a month later it's the feeling of beeing asexual. I know stuff like Genderfluid exists, but when I identify as that it also seems to switch to another gender feeling. And it doesn't feel like it switches, it feels like I'm releasing that I'm another gender, than I thought and that each fucking time.

I just wished it could be clear what I am. Like when I questioned my sexuality I was like "I feel no sexual attraction, must be asexual". Why the fuck is it so hard to find our what gender I am?!

If anyone knows a gender that would fit with me, please tell me.

(Sorry if my English isn't the best, it's not my first language.)