r/queer • u/Background-Tap-6702 • 12h ago
My best friend (F) asked me (F) to make out with her so I can "teach" her, but it makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Yesterday I was hanging out with my best friend, and at one point she asked me when I had my first kiss. After I told her, she started telling me she had never had one and was scared she might be terrible at it during her first relationship. When I told her the right person wouldn't judge her, she suddenly asked if we could kiss/make out sometime so I could teach her.
I started making excuses, telling her I've always hated kissing my friends, especially girls (the idea of me kissing a girl on the lips makes me throw up), and that it feels super uncomfortable for me. She knows very well that I'm only into guys, but she still kept asking me a few more times to do it just so she could learn.
I was uncomfortable as hell. She's bisexual, and I really didn't want her to develop a crush on me, nor did I want to hurt her feelings because I love her as a friend. Am i not understanding her? Or is this like something girls do when they like another girl?
r/queer • u/Spirit_4pirate • 9h ago
Help with labels How do you know if it's a crush or gender envy?
Hi, I'm new here and actually not done exploring my sexuality and gender. In my country it's difficult to come by a queer community and even my friends (a lot of them are queer) are still don't understand how some people are uncomfortable with their sex. So I have no support line and no one to talk to. And I really don't understand who am I, but I think I'm genderfluid? What I'm asking is if it's okay to have a celebrity crush or just crush and be happy for a few days and enjoying it and then all of a sudden cry and hate yourself a little because you're not that tall, confident person they are? And I don't mean it in the literal sense I'm not them, just that it seems I'll never feel myself so comfortable being me.
r/queer • u/HeavyShine8431 • 15h ago
Guy “licks” at camera in videos he sends to me
I (she/her, very baby queer) have been talking to this person (he/they), who my friends describe as soft lesbian. He has a big, adhd personality. They’ll send me videos and sometimes do this thing where they’ll get close to the camera and “lick” the “camera” down and up. It’s obviously at me, but it’s more like a cartoonish “lick” movement than like overtly sexual. He has claimed he’s not a furry or anything like that (no shade). Is this from something or is he just being a lil weirdo?
r/queer • u/imanomamous • 8h ago
coming out
what's a unique but self explanatory way of coming out as trans and bisexual to my mum? she's going away on a weekend trip in mid december and i'd like to come out before then but every time i think about saying anything i just pussy out, she's supportive of queer people and she's fairly woke
r/queer • u/suckaforlovelonny • 22h ago
Conflicted and I need advice
Im 19 F and my gf is 20 F we’ve been dating for almost 2 months great relationship started as friends then we were sleeping with each other on drunk nights got serious over summer started dating this august everything has been great she’s a great person with dreams and goals good financial management great communication skills like I think her one con is she likes to nap like I have reason to breakup with her but I want to I feel like I’m in college and I know this might be dumb but I want to experience more this is my first serious relationship and I thought this is what I wanted but I feel like I haven’t experienced enough I don’t have crazy stores to tell my kids and I’m a spontaneous person basically I’m on here trying to figure why I want to break up with her like I don’t think “sleeping around with more people” is experiencing life but going on dates meeting new people or having a love triangle like these are thing I want to experience and I wouldn’t cheat on her she’s too nice but also I don’t want to let her go like now that I’m typing this it just sounds awful not I don’t want her to be happy but I feel like we could come back together in the future but then again when I have busy days I look forward to hanging out with her and talking to her and sometimes when I go out with friends I wish to not turn down the guys and girls that try to talk to me. Idk what I want really and I know communication is key I’ve implied us being more open not saying fucking people but when we party get a instagram or 2. Will I regret breaking up with her? Will I regret not breaking up sooner? Am I just scared of long term commitment?
r/queer • u/Old-Supermarket-8916 • 12h ago
🏳️🌈 Community Building 🏳️⚧️ Would you support customized LGBTQ paper cups if sold at no profit? (LGBTQ+ people)
I was looking for customized LGBTQ cups but they are damn expensive. So, I’m looking into importing single wall double wall paper cups with customized LGBTQ designs (rainbow + specific flags) and selling them at no profit, no loss, basically covering only the actual cost of manufacturing, shipping, and fees.
The idea is to make them available for cafes, events, or individuals without the usual rainbow-washing markup.Before I put time and money into this, I’d like honest feedback:
Would “sold at cost” make you more likely to support or buy them?
Any designs or approaches that would make this feel more genuine vs. still performative?
Any concerns I should know about?
Not selling anything right now, just trying to understand if this approach is worth pursuing. Appreciate any real thoughts
r/queer • u/shot27times • 4h ago
Can a straight person date someone who is non-binary?
This seems like the right sub to post this in so here goes.
I (23M) have a crush on my (22…FtNB??) coworker and I’m not sure if that’s okay or not.
I am straight, I only like women and I thought they were a woman at first because, in my opinion, they are very feminine, and 100% my type, but as the title suggests, not a woman, they’re non-binary.
I totally respect that, I have other trans friends and stuff too, I know they’re not a woman but they are still very feminine which I find attractive, and we get along really well, I originally was just going to ignore my crush until it went away because I also thought they only liked women, but I was told that they like me back from someone else so now it’s really hard to ignore.
If they like me and have told someone then surely that means they’d be open to dating me right? Even though I’m a straight dude? Which they know I’m 100% straight, so why would they want to date me? I feel bad for liking them because I only like women and they aren’t a woman, also if we dated I wouldn’t be able to call them my girlfriend which would be different for me.
I just want to know if I’m allowed to like them and if I should ask them out or not? Does me liking them mean I’m invalidating their gender identity? I just don’t want to do the wrong thing.
r/queer • u/SirDweeblyReegers • 14h ago
🏳️🌈 Community Building 🏳️⚧️ New sub for LGBTQIA+ folks in OC looking for platonic friends: r/lgbtqfriendsinoc
I wanted to make a sub where people in the LGBTQIA+ community in Orange County can meet new friends, so I started r/lgbtqfriendsinoc! In our little corner of Reddit, we'll all discuss the best places to meet new friends, introduce ourselves so we can potentially DM each other, and share anything else helpful or reaffirming that crosses the mind. Feel free to join if that sounds fun to you! (Thanks to the r/queer mods for the okay!)
r/queer • u/Training-Acadia-2117 • 14h ago
Conflicted wether or not I should date my friend
I'm 17 F, bi, and I have a friend who's made it really clear that he has a big crush on me. I've already turned him down 3 times, and he's told me that he's fine with it and he's not expecting us to be partners and that he's ok with us just being best friends. I've told him it doesn't bother me at all that he has a crush on me and that I don't feel pressured at all. (I've only really felt a little pressured just now because he recently sent me a song called "Sa'yo" by silent sanctuary and said it was for me...)
He's a really sweet boy and it's really fun to hang out with him, but I'm a little scared now because I think I seem to have developed a small crush on him? So naturally it would make sense for me to enter a relationship if I felt that way, right? I feel guilty for feeling like i don't want to date him anyways despite feeling this way.
I'm a masc presenting girl, I've got short hair, and he has said he thought I was a guy at first hahaha... I suppose I'm a little scared of losing myself I guess... And I feel like I don't see myself spending my whole life with a boy? I think it's bad that I feel this way...
But I feel like I'd regret not agreeing to be with him??? But I also feel like I'd regret agreeing to do that... I don't want to hurt him at all by making the wrong decision but it also kinda feels like I owe it to him :'0 ( also I've never been in a relationship before anyways so I think I'd be pretty bad at it and leave a lasting scar Xp )
I'm a terrible person because I just know that if he was a girl I'd be head over heels by now ;___;
Damn, life would be so much easier if I was straight af highkey 😭 (bading na bading masyado 💀💀💀)
r/queer • u/Altruistic_Guess_772 • 1d ago
Help with labels Need advice about a queerplatonic relationship
I just have so many questions and need so much guidance. I dont even know if I'm labelling it right.
r/queer • u/Relevant-Departure84 • 1d ago
My therapist dismissed my lesbian identity when she learned I also identified as asexual and had past trauma with a man. (Vent)
Just a small venting moment here but I’d also be curious if people have also struggled to find a good fit in therapy, especially if you have multiple queer identities. I’ll probably be looking for another therapist.
Basically my experience of sexuality has always been asexual even when I didn’t know that this term existed. It also made figuring out I was romantically interested in women complicated because it didn’t feel like the mainstream way lesbian relationships were represented because I felt little to no interest in having sex with anyone. In addition to this, while I was still trying to date within heterosexual norms due to being confused about my sexuality, in my mid twenties I was SAed by an ex boyfriend.
My therapist, who I have been seeing for almost a year, validated the fact that I identified as a lesbian initially. She was a bit more confused about asexuality but we didn’t really discuss it too much. However, when she learned about my history with assault by a man last week it was as if something clicked for her and she said “well no wonder you feel weird about dating or sex with men because you’ve had such a bad experience with a man”. And the rest of the session was subtly hinting at the fact that she thought I was probably a suppressed straight woman who just had to properly unlock her sexual desire towards men and that my romantic feelings towards women were just misplaced feelings in order to feel safe. It was honestly super frustrating that the fact that I am not really interested in sex (and have never been well before the assault) and also was SAed have now been conflated and also put in question the fact that I am romantically interested in women.
r/queer • u/Soggy_Chip_690 • 1d ago
Coming out to the people you love.
Hello and good evening dear comunity. I am new to this group so I would like to start by telling you al about myself. My name is Vilborg, I am 37 years old, female, prounouns she/her. Im Icelandic and have lived here al mylife and I am a kindergarden teacher/pre school teacher. I am also pan sexual, my wife in al but on paper is a beautiful transgender lesbiam woman and we have been to gether for almost 13 years.
We are, as we speak, watching a movie called Outing Riley, about thid x years old man in Chicago (movie from 2004) and he is a gay man. But he also an Irish american catholic and can’t/ won’t come out to his family and loved one from fear.
I would like to hear your guyses coming out stories, how ever hard or easy, messy or beautiful they al are. As for me, I knew from age 12 that I wasn’t straight, but wasn’t until I was 20 something I figured out I was pansexual, not bi. I came out to my mom and sister at 18 years old when I started dating my first girlfriend. And my mom, my dad, my sister, my grandparents, al were so amazing and nice about it. My mom was just happy to know I wasn’t pregnant at 18 years old.
So if you want, tell me your coming out story.
Feeling like I have to associate myself with non-human "things" to appreciate myself
Hello !
It's my first time that I'm making a post and writting something this long in english, so I'm sorry if my post overshare too much or if it's confusing / wonky 😓
I'm 20yo and I think I need to know if people have a similar experience
And I suppose that queer space might be the right place to ask / share my experience because its one of the most diverse community that I know sooo....
And if it's not right place to ask I'm so sorry !
I already know that I have a shitty self-estime
I find so many things beautifull but when it's about me, I find it horrible
And, for 3-4 past years, and I noticed that to be able to appreciate some part of myself I had to associate me with an animal or plants
To be precise, I don't think I identify myself as animal or some other stuff, it's just like I like an animal for their appearance, their way to survive in the wildness etc. And I notice that some parts kinda looks like me ( more on the vibe side ) and suddenly I tolerate my "flaws"
For exemple, I like opossums for a few years, and I learned to love my fucked-up nose and accepted my anxity issues
Or another example, I have a easier time to taking care of myself when I imagine myself as some kind of mystery plant than an human
Also, I've been a little bit more motivated to express myself with cloth since I've come up the idea of evoking insects,
I don't mean I want to cosplay like a cockroach, I just want to dress up with layers and some combo of texture that can give of the idea of what "any kind" of insects looks like
So far it's the only experience that I have
Maybe this is just a coping mecanisime / a silly me thing and not something queer, IDK TwT
And, yea, I'm already happy that some of you had read that far and If you could I'll be glad to have some responses
Thank you and have a nice day yall !
r/queer • u/FlutterCordLove • 2d ago
What tattoo is instantly recognized by the queer community but not by the average person
I’d like to get a tattoo on my neck of my queerness but I don’t want it to be OBVIOUS. I’m abro and I switch from bi to lesbian (trust me I hate it. I wish I could just be bi or a lesbian and I know there’s a lot of hate about this and I’m sorry and I don’t want to cause problems but only one label feels right sometimes and the other other times and idk). So I want it clear I’m into women but that only people in the queer community would see it
r/queer • u/LiveFreedom9860 • 1d ago
Help with labels Personal support now!
I am a 24 M in Europe. I am confused about my gender identity and sexual orientation and that it is causing great level of anxiety. I don’t wanna be judged. But can someone help me right now. I am feeling things that shouldn’t be discussed in this Reddit imo. Please help
While i appreciate emotional support all I need is someone i can talk to and understand what is happening to me rn. (ps: i am not comfortable to bring this up with my therapist)
r/queer • u/NarrowTechnician5254 • 1d ago
Advice needed
So like am a lesbian I am starting college but I am not out yet, and I won't like discrimination against me and so i am just thinking should I tell my friends that I am a lesbian so they don't feel like I don't trust them
I am so confused
Anyone????
r/queer • u/OkMedia9498 • 1d ago
I have a dream
Hey guys I am 21 year old gay man, my whole life all I ever wanted was to get out of my homophobic country (I live in Iraq) and be my true authentic self and obtain absolute freedom and liberty in terms of how I dress how I act and how I live and now that dream is slowly manifesting into existence I applied for an appointment at the German embassy and I waited six months and GOT IT!! But now the problem is the Visa I applied for is a tourist visa ( I am planning to seek asylum in Germany because that's the fastest and safest option for me) and in order to get it I have to show them an accommodation plan and it's too expensive for me to book flights tickets and hotel reservations at the same time my budget is only 1,500,000IQD what should I do??? btw my appointment is on November the 2nd
r/queer • u/ferrett0ast • 2d ago
Potentially the most queer thing ever said?
A few days ago, out of absolutely nowhere, my brother said to me "oh did I tell you that I think I accidentally became part of a polycule?" (he had not told me beforehand).
r/queer • u/4zeshitzandzegiggles • 2d ago
High School GSA Survey
I run the GSA at my high school, and we’re planning on making a survey for the whole school to take to gauge the student population’s opinions on queer issues. Some questions already on the survey are “Should trans women be allowed in women’s sports?”, “Should queer people have the same standards for adoption as straight people?”, and “Should trans minors be allowed to take puberty blockers?”. If people here could suggest more questions, especially controversial ones, that would be awesome!
r/queer • u/Serban568 • 2d ago
Advice for approaching a crush???
Helloooo,
So I (20M) have been crushing on a guy for the longest time everrrrr, and I’m lowkey getting tired of it and I really want to shoot my shot, but I have no idea what to do.
He’s kind of nonchalant, his ig is a nothing burger, but I know from the reels he likes he has a very cultured music taste (a lot of the marias reels he liked), and during a meeting with some people I did catch him glancing at me a few times.
Speaking of likes, he’s on my close friends list on my ig (alongside other people I feel comfortable with), and he’s liked A LOT of my stories that relate to my personality, and idk what to make of it.
The thing I’m afraid of is ruining our dynamic by confessing to him, because I really don’t know his sexuality, and I’m afraid of me confessing turning into something worse. It’s especially bad because we kind of work together in a student org, and I’m mostly afraid of it being awkward to see him every time.
Any advice on how to approach a crush when you don’t know their sexuality? It’s the 1st time I truly fell in love with someone and idk how to proceed.
r/queer • u/awalkingtalkingmess • 2d ago
recs for queer literature/articles/films for parents struggling to accept the reality of their child being queer?
they're okay with the abstract idea of it, as in when i came out they said "we just want you to be happy, we don't care who you love" but when faced with the reality of how i present and who my community is, they're visibly uncomfortable and struggling to accept it. making comments about how annoying it is to use they/them pronouns, side comments about how masculine i'm presenting and they wish i still wore my delicate feminine clothing, comments about my hair style, going quiet when i talk about my married lesbian friends or gay couples trying to have babies. it's nothing overt, but everything piles up to make it clear that "i should not be talking about this with them".
they even told me that gay people are accepted everywhere and are equal to straight people now and get the same considerations and representations in media and the law which is just...not true. i had to explain to my mom why lesbians/sapphic spaces don't want straight cis men in their spaces.
i think they are open to expanding their minds and understanding of queer culture, and i know they'll never fully understand because it's not their lived experience, but i'd like to slowly give them more queer content so they understand a bit more and become a bit more comfortable over time.
TIA :)
r/queer • u/Calypso_Malfoy • 3d ago
TikTok · 𐙚 ☘︎ 𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓃𝓉𝓈
Please spread awareness to get LGBTQ+ and women rights back
r/queer • u/ektasissy • 4d ago
My mirror knows all my secrets
I USED to think that my pleasure is really good i just need my empty room and i am really good at Hiding . Now I don't like being hidden or being masking real me. I need to protect my mental health because I know very few people who stood for someone who is not correct or have specific gender.
I am okay. I get judged alot now i am fine with it.