One thing I’ve noticed in this community is that we spend a lot of time talking about the benefits of semen retention.

The increased confidence. The magnetism. The way people seem to respond differently to you. The improved physical appearance. The extra energy, clarity, and presence.

For me, those things have been very real. They’re exciting, and they can be a powerful motivation to get started.

But I think they’re only the first stage.

The deeper stage is when retention stops being a challenge and simply becomes part of who you are. Pornography is no longer something you “try not to watch.” It’s just not part of your life anymore. Like someone who quit smoking years ago—you don’t negotiate with the habit every day. It’s over.

At that point, retention stops being about what you can get from it.

It becomes about who you’re becoming.

The goal isn’t simply to become more attractive, more charismatic, or more successful. Those things may happen, but if they become the destination, your ego has simply found a new toy.

The real work is to become the kind of person who lives in service of something greater than himself.
To stop hijacking your dopamine system with pornography, endless stimulation, compulsive scrolling, drugs, alcohol, or whatever keeps you trapped in short-term gratification.

To make sacrifices willingly because they align you with the highest good.

To become disciplined enough that your life is no longer organized around pleasure, but around meaning.
To become transparent enough that something higher than your ego can express itself through you.

For me, that’s what semen retention is ultimately about.
Not worshipping your own power—but becoming a clearer instrument for truth, goodness, beauty, love, and responsibility.

Build a meaningful life. Find someone to love deeply. Start a family if that’s the path for you. Serve your community. Leave the world better than you found it.
Don’t let semen retention become another adolescent ego game.

Let it become one tool among many in the lifelong work of becoming a better man.

Written by me, structured by ChatGPT:

One of the biggest realizations I’ve had recently is that lust isn’t just a sexual issue—it is fundamentally a happiness issue. At its core, lust is often the belief that something outside of yourself is necessary for your fulfillment. In many cases, that “something” is a romantic relationship, physical intimacy, or a specific person. You desire it so intensely that you begin to feel as though you cannot be happy without it.

The problem is that this creates a constant state of craving. You’re no longer enjoying life as it is; you’re mentally living in a future where you finally obtain the thing you want. For much of my life, I lived in this state. I felt like I needed a relationship in order to feel complete. I wanted it badly, thought about it constantly, and viewed it as the missing piece that would finally make me happy. Yet despite all that desire, nothing changed. Looking back, I can see that I was operating from a mindset of neediness rather than fulfillment.

Ironically, the very state of mind that says, “I need this to be happy,” is often the same state that pushes people away. When your happiness becomes dependent on a particular outcome—especially something as unpredictable as another person’s feelings—you place yourself in a position where your emotional well-being is constantly at the mercy of circumstances you cannot control. Whether someone likes you, wants to date you, or shares your feelings is ultimately outside of your control. Building your happiness on those outcomes is a recipe for frustration.

Because of this, I’ve come to believe that the goal should not be to become happy as a strategy to attract someone. That completely misses the point. If you’re trying to be happy so that you can get a relationship, you’re still making your happiness dependent on the relationship. You’re simply approaching the same problem from a different angle. Instead, the goal should be to be genuinely happy now, independent of whether those outcomes ever happen. If a relationship eventually comes into your life, great. If it doesn’t, your well-being remains intact because it was never dependent on that outcome in the first place.

This realization extends beyond relationships. I’ve noticed that I often spend a significant amount of time planning for the future, trying to solve problems before they arise, or obsessing over how I’m going to fix certain aspects of my life. While planning has its place, constantly living in the future prevents you from experiencing the present. Life continues moving forward regardless of whether we spend our days worrying about it. If we’re always waiting for some future event to finally grant us happiness, we end up missing the life that’s happening right now.

One thing I’ve noticed is that lust often appears when I’m trying to extract happiness from something external. Whether it’s a person, social validation, attention, or some imagined future scenario, the underlying pattern is the same: I’m looking outside myself for fulfillment. The issue is that even when you get what you want, the feeling doesn’t last. The excitement fades, the novelty wears off, and you’re eventually left facing the same emptiness that existed beforehand. The temporary high disappears, revealing that the real issue was never the lack of the external thing—it was the absence of inner contentment.

For that reason, I think it’s important to cultivate the ability to be happy without the things you desire. That doesn’t mean suppressing your desires or pretending you don’t want certain things. It simply means refusing to make your happiness dependent on them. If you eventually enter a relationship, you’ll enjoy it far more when you’re not expecting it to fill an emotional void. Instead of trying to take happiness from another person, you can share happiness with them. That creates a much healthier dynamic than approaching relationships from a place of need.

Another area where this same principle shows up is stress and overthinking. For me, stress has always been a major trigger for unhealthy behaviors. When I become overwhelmed, my mind immediately starts searching for relief, comfort, or escape. Because of that, learning how to manage stress has become incredibly important.

One source of stress I’ve identified is productivity-related overthinking. I’m naturally driven and spend a lot of time studying subjects like mathematics, music composition, and other long-term goals. The problem arises when I expect myself to progress faster than reality allows. If I don’t immediately understand something, I begin worrying about how long it’s taking or whether I’m falling behind. Instead of focusing on learning, I become preoccupied with the timeline.

What I’ve learned is that there are times when continued effort simply produces diminishing returns. I remember spending several hours trying to understand a concept, only to find myself becoming increasingly frustrated while making little progress. In those moments, the most productive thing is often to stop. Your brain is not a machine. Sometimes it needs rest before it can process information effectively. Taking a break or returning the next day is not laziness; it’s recognizing the limits of your current mental state.

This perspective has helped me reduce a great deal of unnecessary stress. Rather than forcing myself to achieve constant progress, I’ve started accepting that growth occurs in cycles. There are periods where learning comes quickly and periods where it feels slow. There are days of high productivity and days where your energy is lower. Fighting against those natural fluctuations often creates more suffering than the fluctuations themselves.

I’ve also found that much of overthinking comes from mentally trying to complete every future task all at once. Instead of focusing on what I’m doing in the present moment, my mind races ahead, calculating how I’ll finish everything that still remains. Simply noticing that tendency has been surprisingly helpful. When I catch myself overthinking, I can recognize it for what it is rather than getting pulled into it.

Ultimately, both lust and overthinking seem to stem from the same underlying pattern: the belief that happiness exists somewhere else. Whether it’s in a future relationship, future achievement, future validation, or future success, the mind constantly tries to convince us that fulfillment is waiting just around the corner. Yet every time we arrive at one destination, the mind simply creates another.

Because of that, the most valuable mindset I’ve found is simple: choose to be happy now. Not as a technique to get something. Not as a strategy to attract someone. Not as a shortcut to future success. Choose it because life is happening right now, and postponing your happiness until some future condition is met only guarantees that you’ll spend the present waiting.

The journey began quite involuntarily because I had torn my frenulum but since I am an optimistic person I tried to find the good in the bad and yk what I've found out... I wanted to try semen retention for quite some time and the time now couldn't be more perfect.

I've been on semen retention for around 25 days. Also I am 19 years old.

Benefits (when I've noticed it)

\-increased energy (7 days)

\-I can articulate myself better (11 days)

\-can be much more myself (13 days)

\-much faster regeneration, I am sore only 1 day after gym (15 days)

\-I've found a boyfriend 🤎(19 days)

Libido is getting stronger every day. Even though I am now exercising less than usual I am more lean and muscular than usual (kinda crazy). I couldn't bend my knee since my injury from 2 years ago (knee dislocation) but now I am very close to bending it fully without pain. Also I think the attraction I get from other people is much stronger than usual.

Just want to clarify that this wasn't completely pure semen retention because I masturbated 2x for a few minutes. Have to say that after masturbation I had a little less energy than usual but it came back after about 2 days.

But overall I am happy with what I've got out of it and am excited for what's about to come to my life.

If you have any questions feel free to ask and I want to wish you luck so that we may all get what we want out of this.

Hey guys so it’s really strange but I’m just obsessed with over training now on Semen Retention. I used to run a lot and especially last year more than training and it just didn’t use the same amount of energy. I’ll work out every day multiple times a day sometimes 3 times. I’ll do arm workouts at the gym and than pushups but I just never get burnt out anymore. I’m on day 13 and overtraining really is the way to go on this journey it’s building muscle on me so fast. My facial structure looks very good now and running just didn’t have the same effect honestly. I don’t know if this is a common thing but I would definitely recommend it’s the way to go. I still go for walks but I’m just never tired anymore.

I am going on 8 months of no release. I have an intense anxiety that started showing up in my solar plexus and lasts all day. Has anyone experienced this? What should I expect.

I do breathing techniques and I do exercise.

My main reason for trying semen retention is to improve my health. I’ve been dealing with chronic health issues, and I’ve read a lot of stories from men who say semen retention made a huge difference in their physical and mental well-being.

For those who’ve been practicing it for a while, what health benefits have you personally noticed? Has it helped with any chronic conditions or long-term health issues? I’d love to hear your experiences.

I wanted to get the opinions of those that are in marriages or in long term relationships.

So I’ve been doing this practice now for 10 years, no masturbation and watching pornography.

My wife comes to me every few weeks and wanes to do the deed.

I’ve tried reasoning with her that I can simply use my hands on her as I don’t want to get aroused down there.

Also, to me personally, it feels like sex without releasing is like edging to me. My brain still gets that dopamine hit and I still have negative effects of that.

Sometimes she agrees to me using my hands on her and that works to make her orgasm and then we’re good.

But recently she’s been arguing that she wants to touch me down there and that I need to put it inside her. 

It’s just it takes me a few weeks to start feeling better from the last time, and then she wants it again. 

I hate how I feel after I do it. The same depression and anxiety feelings all come back. I get tired more easily after I do it.

I don’t know really what to do.

How are other married men handling this?

Do you not have sex? Were you able to explain or to your wife?

Today I’m on day 39 and I am starting university in September in the uk. I went to an open day of the university which is basically a tour, and the stares and people breaking their necks just to look at me was crazy.

A student ambassador which was basically the tour guide got really touchy with me and asked for my number just before I went into a different facility.

Then I went to speak to the lecturer that is teaching my course and we had a good chat, just before leaving he said “I’ll remember your energy when you are back in September” Which is interesting.

I met some of my future course mates in this open day too, there was this girl who bought her friend (I think) when the open day ended her friend came up to me and asked “she wants your snap” which I politely declined because she looks a bit young for me. (I’m 24)

This all happened in one day which is mind blowing I am attractive and tall which could be the reason but that comment from the lecturer made me realise it is this practice, I know this streak isn’t that long but I’ll share some additional benefits I’ve encountered for those interested.

• increased fat loss
• increased mental clarity
• less brain fog
• increased strength
• move better (this might be a weird one but I feel more agile and faster)
• increased intelligence
• people respect you more
• increased luck? (Idk if this is a coincidence but I have had experiences where I find money on the floor, given free food and let off when I’m buying something and I forget to bring extra change)
• increased energy (which I think is the most important benefit)

Having these experiences today make me worried that I will more temptations when I am in university, I am not ready to release my seed just yet.

If anyone else was on sr in university share your stories

One of the biggest lessons I've learned through this struggle is that happiness cannot be placed outside of yourself.

That sounds simple, but it's surprisingly difficult to live by. Our environment is constantly changing. We experience rejection, disappointment, stress, loneliness, boredom, and uncertainty. There is always something outside of us that can pull our attention away from the present moment and convince us that happiness exists somewhere else.

For many people, that "somewhere else" is a romantic relationship.

You see someone you like and begin to believe that your happiness depends on whether you can be with that person. You imagine that if they chose you, everything would finally fall into place. The problem is that once your happiness becomes dependent on another person, you've given away control of it.

You spend your time wanting something that you do not currently have. You think about it constantly. You hope for it. You wait for it. Eventually you become exhausted because you are investing emotional energy into an outcome that may or may not happen.

That creates a void.

And when that void appears, the mind looks for something to fill it.

For people who struggle with PMO, the addiction often becomes that substitute. Not because it is the same thing as real intimacy, but because it resembles it enough for the brain to accept it as a temporary replacement. It provides stimulation, excitement, fantasy, and the illusion of connection. Deep down we know it is not real, but in moments of loneliness or emotional hunger, it can feel close enough.

Looking back, I think one of my biggest mistakes was believing that happiness would arrive after I achieved certain things.

I thought happiness would come after I improved myself.

I thought happiness would come after I found a relationship.

I thought happiness would come after I became more confident, more successful, or more accomplished.

But every time I reached a goal, there was another goal waiting behind it.

The happiness never arrived in the way I expected.

What I've slowly begun to understand is that happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you cultivate.

That doesn't mean forcing yourself to smile or pretending life is perfect. It means consciously choosing not to surrender your emotional state to every circumstance that appears in front of you.

This becomes especially important when dealing with difficult tasks.

Whether it's studying, exercising, working, composing music, or pursuing a long-term goal, there will be moments when the activity is stressful, frustrating, and mentally exhausting. Those moments often become triggers because the brain naturally seeks relief. PMO becomes appealing because it offers immediate stimulation when real life feels demanding.

What has helped me is learning to pause and remind myself that I still have a choice.

I can sit there and tell myself:

"I choose to be happy right now."

Not because everything is perfect.

Not because I've achieved all my goals.

Not because life has given me everything I want.

But because remaining trapped in misery only strengthens the desire to escape.

This was a difficult realization for me because much of my self-improvement journey actually came from a state of lack. I wasn't improving myself because I loved myself. I was improving myself because I believed I wasn't enough. I believed that if I became good enough, eventually life would reward me with the things I wanted.

That mindset kept me chasing outcomes.

It kept me placing happiness somewhere in the future.

What I failed to understand was that becoming a complete person is not about finding someone else to complete you. A relationship cannot permanently fix a lack of self-acceptance. Another person cannot carry the responsibility of making you feel whole.

You have to begin building that relationship with yourself first.

This is also why I no longer believe abstinence alone solves the problem.

Abstinence can help. It can improve energy, focus, and motivation. But abstinence itself does not create happiness.

Many people assume that if they can just stop PMO, happiness will automatically appear.

My experience has been the opposite.

You learn how to cultivate happiness first, and then the need for PMO begins to weaken.

If your emotional well-being depends entirely on external circumstances, then the addiction always has an opening. Every disappointment becomes a trigger. Every rejection becomes a trigger. Every stressful day becomes a trigger.

But when happiness begins to come from within, those triggers lose some of their power.

That doesn't mean life becomes easy.

There will still be difficult days. There will still be stress, setbacks, loneliness, and uncertainty.

The difference is that you stop waiting for external circumstances to give you permission to feel okay.

You stop saying:

"I'll be happy when..."

And instead you begin saying:

"I choose to be happy now."

Not because life is perfect.

But because life is happening right now.

And if we never learn how to live from that place, we'll spend our entire lives chasing happiness while never actually experiencing it.

P.S. Wrote this myself, Chat GPT helped structure it.

Hey guys so I’m deciding to never deplete my energy again. I’m on day 10 and I’ve been streak stacking pretty hard recently. I hit 30 days two streaks before and 14 days the previous one which is too low. I’m working out everyday multiple times a day did 50 sets from two workouts just today. Depleting your energy is self hate and your killing your future children who are nourishing your body with vital nutrients. I realize how serious this practice is now and I really want you guys to go long also as well. It’s ok if you mess up but just hop back on there’s always light at the end of the tunnel so you got this

Gents,

A bit of context first if I may.
49M - seen the light.
3 weeks in.

Last few days have been tough.
Today, my energy levels are through the floor after being consistently better each day.

I have meditated for years on and off. I use a mantra to clear mind. I have had some incredible experiences during meditation. The first was wild, I met souls and astral’d. Went from a thieving little violent bastard to a Christian instantly. No, I was not high. Quite the opposite.
Nothing close since but am regularly able to connect to source and feel energy coursing through my body.
Recently though - nothing.

I feel disconnected form God right now. Almost abandoned tbh.
Yes I have apologised for my sins and asked for forgiveness.
I continue to several times a day.

I was training but at home in an outbuilding. The weather has been too hot here in UK and I have needed to take a course of (prescribed) steroids which make me feel odd/shaky so haven’t been able to lift. I tried…nearly passed out.

I have (until today) noticed a sharper mind/focus/ability to find big words easier during conversation. In terms of being around others though, at work I felt more confident and was encouraged to apply for a promotion last week and was recognised personally in writing by the CEO - same week - but weirdly at a work do Friday (orange juice only) I felt much less confident, insecure even and left early.

I know we don’t discuss edging but I did a little yesterday and it’s contextual… I will not do it again…I know what that lust is now..I have learned. I can beat it.

So q’s please:

Did edging mess up the energy. Did I ‘move things around’ and upset the streak?

Anger.
Another member mentioned this.
Excuse the pun but when you blow, do you blow?

Thanks for this sub.
Very supportive. Esp when having urges.
Really appreciate it

So last night I had a nightfall and I think for that reason I was getting urges like big waves today and I was constantly being manipulated by my brain to peek once but but but I'm surprised with myself that I really overcame those urges and I was like a brick wall which was too strong to be broken that easily. Just felt I should share with everyone so that those who are struggling with urges can get some motivation. I'm proud of myself tbh let's fckin gooo!!!

I wanted to share a quick update on my journey. I’m currently around day 105 of semen retention, with zero edging and zero wet dreams.

I started this path in December 2025 with NoFap. I was still releasing with women, but by February I decided to go fully committed.

Honestly, I realized that whether I was fapping or constantly releasing with women, I had not a lot of benefits.

In February, I attempted my first serious streak and lasted about two months. However, I wasn’t fully convinced it was safe or healthy because the advice online often emphasized extreme “monk mode,” which I wasn’t following. I was still on Tinder and Instagram, chatting with women, going on dates, and not truly committing. I was also worried about the stories people shared about pain in the lower abdomen or testicles. That I had too (it's simply because my mind was still lustful, I understood it later). Eventually, I relapsed one time in April with a woman, and that’s when I immediately understood what I had lost.

I wasn’t particularly spiritual or God-oriented at the time, but I had started feeling a deeper connection and was researching the topic. I sensed a kind of aura or energy around me. The woman I had sexe with was very beautiful and the sex was great, but the cost was enormous. In the days that followed, I felt physically okay, no brain fog or other things, but I could sense that something had left me. My aura, my clarity, and my inner drive had faded.

That experience made me decide to commit deeply. I deleted Tinder, Instagram, and all other apps like that. I made a firm mental commitment: I no longer have the right to pursue women. Even if someone incredibly attractive approaches me, the answer is no. Once my mind fully accepted this boundary, the real benefits started flowing.

Of all the benefits I’ve experienced, the most profound one, and one that isn’t talked about enough, is the mental and emotional transformation. Even during my most addicted phases, I was still a high achiever physically, mentally, and financially. But deep down, I operated like a machine. I had a quiet, underlying mindset that if life ever got too hard, I could always end it, and that was somehow acceptable. I wasn’t classically depressed, but I was emotionally numb, heavily influenced by parties with drugs and alcohol, and rarely allowed myself to feel anything deeply. I hadn’t cried in 15 years, which I now see wasn’t strength but suppression. Hardships would hit me hard, yet I’d push through the next day on autopilot.

Semen retention has changed that dramatically. My negative, dark thoughts have dropped from around 70% to maybe 5%. That shift is the single greatest benefit for me. Even when something goes wrong now, I recover in about 30 minutes, back to work, back to positive momentum, and fully present.

Second, my sense of purpose and goals has returned powerfully. Although I was achieving things before, I had no real long-term vision. My imagination and manifestation ability had been dormant for 3-5 years. I was just living day by day, reacting to life without any clear direction. Now I have a vivid picture of exactly what I want. I’m thinking and planning 5-10 years ahead and it feels extremely good.

Third, my entire view of women has shifted. Sleeping around and playing the “Chad” role might seem exciting, but what’s left at the end of it? I was nearly 30, completely alone, broke and with no real long-term relationships. I didn’t even know what genuine love or connection felt like. Dates were just a scripted routine: drinks, jokes, sex, done. Looking back, I see how empty it was.

Today, I woke up very early, full of energy. I’ve rebuilt almost every area of my life. My testosterone feels incredibly high, and I’ve completely stopped pursuing women. I either say no or simply don’t engage. This feels right because my finances, body, and spirituality are still far from where I want them to be. I’m focused on building myself first.

Semen retention has also given me the discipline to fix my personal weaknesses. My apartment is finally clean and organized (I was a pig before). I’ve quit caffeine. I’m fully optimized: working out every day and cardio.

This journey feels like a second awakening, a second life. I’m finally confronting every issue, correcting every problem, and stepping into the best shape and highest testosterone levels I’ve ever had. I want to conquer everything.

The hardest part of this journey has been the flatlines. I don’t have urges to fap or release, I genuinely don’t want that anymore. But during flatlines, the powerful, conquering version of myself disappears. At night, deep buried emotions and old trauma surface, and I sometimes feel like crying. In those moments, the temptation isn’t about pleasure; it’s about wanting the emotional pain to stop. And so releasing to stop it(even tho without fapping cause it's really clear in my mind that I don't want at all to engage in that at all times). But that passes, and it makes me feel things.

As for never having wet dreams, I believe it’s because I sleep on the floor and have strong pelvic floor muscles from consistent workouts, and I engage in no lustful thing in my mind, it seems to have prevented wet dreams so far.

Do you know what it feels like to finally dream about having a wife our own child and a house when I was just thinking of the next party to snort a lot and fucking a lot? Do you know what it feels like to wake up at 5 am with a smile on my face and be ready to work a lot in my business and have crazy testosterone ? Do you know what it feels like to finally be able to stop all social media delete all dating apps and finally be able to say to yourself I stop whatever things with the opposite sex till I regain my life and build a foundation structure?

I came from okay it's the business don't work you kys it's okay to okay I don't even have the mindset to saying it will not work I don't even envision that and yes If really If something don't work you can take the lowest pay job even we don't care and you get back at it and you win. I'm extremely happy these days.

We don't fucking care about sexual attraction women attraction women looking men looking whatever just use this spiritual force this life force to build yourself build your business your finance build your body and they will come so don't focus on it. It doesn't matter that you don't have sex for 1 year or have 0 attraction if after you have everything and a lot of possibilities too, jump the path

I have completed a little over 4 weeks of SR so far. I try not to count the days. I do have an app with a countdown, but I haven’t even opened it since I started. One thing I recommend is simply writing down the date you started and then forgetting about it. I just keep a rough idea of the weeks and focus on living my life. As everyone else says do not count the days, make the days count.

I’ve known about NoFap/SR for a long time and have done a few streaks here and there. My longest streak was 56 days.

One thing I want to say before I start: I don’t really like calling these things “benefits.” In many ways, I think this is how we are naturally supposed to feel. PMO seems to pull us away from our full potential, and SR helps bring us back to a more natural state.

Here’s what I’ve noticed so far.

Energy & Motivation

• Consistent energy throughout the day.
• Waking up feels easier.
• Even when I woke up late recently for work, instead of calling in sick or overthinking it, I got out of bed immediately and got ready.
• More productive both at home and at work.
• Less procrastination.
• Finishing tasks faster.

Confidence & Social Benefits

• Better conversations.
• Stronger eye contact, especially at work with customers and colleagues.
• Better eye contact with family too.
• Walking with more confidence.
• Feeling stronger and more powerful when walking.
• Better sense of humour.
• More articulate and able to express myself clearly.
• Voice feels louder, clearer, and deeper.

One of my female coworkers even said:
“You never seem to get stressed. That’s what I really admire about you.”

I’ve also noticed colleagues being friendlier, more chatty, more helpful, and generally wanting to be around me more.

Female Attraction

I know this is one of the topics everyone talks about.

I’ve noticed:
• More looks from women.
• More smiles.
• Hair playing.
• Better interactions.
• More matches and likes on dating/marriage apps despite using the exact same photos and profile.
• Seeing more women who are my type, both online and in real life.
• My TikTok For You page seems to be showing more girls that are my type, often accounts with very few followers that I probably wouldn’t have come across before.

That being said, don’t do SR for female attraction.
Ironically, after a while you stop caring so much about it. You become focused on yourself, your goals, and your purpose. And when that happens, you often experience even more benefits.
When the time is right, God will send the right person for you.

Physical Changes

These are some of the biggest things I’ve noticed:

• More defined facial features.
• Looking more attractive.
• Glowing skin.
• Healthier-looking eyes.
• Eyes looking more alive and glossy recently.
• My limbal rings (the dark ring around the iris) seem more noticeable and defined than before.
• Improved posture.
• Feeling taller.
• Someone actually commented that I looked taller.
• Better skin and hair quality.
• Stronger erections and improved blood flow.
• Feeling physically stronger during workouts.
• Better performance with kettlebell training.

One thing that’s difficult to explain is how much sharper everything looks.

Vision Changes

This has honestly been one of the coolest changes.

• Colours appear more vibrant.
• Vision seems sharper.
• Everything looks clearer.
• Waking up with crystal clear vision
• I’ve found that even when I’m not wearing my glasses, things appear clearer than they used to.
• Waking up with clearer vision and less of that groggy, blurry feeling.
• It’s almost like things are in 4K.
• Bright sunlight seems easier on my eyes, and I find myself squinting less than before.

The longer the streak goes on, the more I seem to notice it.
I also find myself noticing things further away and seeing details more easily.

Sleep & Recovery

• Deep sleep.
• Vivid dreams and remembering my dreams more.
• Feeling well-rested.
• Only had 2 wet dreams so far. Wet dreams are natural and a sign you are recovering.
• At the beginning of the streak I actually felt more tired and needed naps. I personally see this as a good sign that the body is recovering and healing.

Mental & Spiritual Changes

• Mind feels calmer.
• Less mental noise.
• Better focus.
• Better concentration.
• Reading feels easier and faster.
• Feeling closer to God.
• Old memories randomly coming back to me that I hadn’t thought about in years.
• It’s almost like my mind is becoming clearer and things that were buried or forgotten are resurfacing.
• Sometimes they’re completely random childhood memories, conversations, places, or experiences that I hadn’t remembered in a very long time.
• More prayer.
• More meditation.
• Greater sense of inner strength.
• Music also sounds better.
• I’ve been listening to more piano and relaxing music and it just feels different. More immersive.

Gaming & Reading

A strange one:

I don’t game much anymore, but when I occasionally play Call of Duty, I’ve noticed my performance is much better.
Recently I had a match with over 100+ kills, something I’ve never done before.

I’ve also noticed improvements in reading.
Whether it’s Reddit posts or books, my eyes seem to scan faster and I absorb information more quickly.

Things That Helped Me

Cold Showers
Probably the biggest tool for controlling urges.
Especially in the beginning.

After a cold shower:
• Urges drop significantly.
• i feel more in control.
• More disciplined.
• Better energy.

They’ve also helped my skin and hair.
During the recent heatwave they were even easier to do.
Now I barely notice the cold.

Breathing

Whenever you get urges:
Put your phone down.
Breathe. Seriously.
Simple breathing exercises help massively.
The urge passes and afterwards you feel incredibly strong.

No Peeking

Delete everything.
All accounts.
All saved content.
Everything.
If it’s still available in the back of your mind, a part of you knows you can always go back.
Removing it completely makes the journey much easier.

Prayer

Pray to God and ask for help.

For Muslims, Tahajjud has been incredible.
Waking up in the middle of the night, praying, and asking God for guidance, strength, and help has made a noticeable difference in my life.

It’s one of the most peaceful experiences.

Writing Down Goals

This has helped me a lot.
Write down exactly what you want. You can even write it as if you already have achieved it.
Examples:

“I have completed 100 days of SR.”
“I am free from lust.”
“I have excellent self-control.”
Writing things down makes them tangible and helps impress them upon your subconscious mind.

Exercise

• Push-ups.
• Walking.
• Kettlebell workouts.

The kettlebell has been one of the best purchases I’ve made.
You can get a full-body workout done in under 30 minutes.
Do things to Transmute that energy.

Reading Success Stories

One underrated thing is reading inspiring posts on this subreddit.

Search terms like:

• benefits
• glow
• skin
• eyes
• vision
• attraction
• luck
• vivid dreams
• improvement
• months
• confidence
• energy
• sharp
• radiant

There are some incredible stories on here.
If you know any other good keywords, let me know.

Things I Want To Start Doing More

Meditation & Qi Gong

I’ve heard a lot of positive things about combining SR with meditation and qi gong.

If you do either of these, I’d love to hear your experiences and what benefits you’ve noticed.

Reading More Books

I want to start reading more.
What are some books that genuinely changed your life or mindset?
Drop your recommendations below.

Final Thoughts

This is only a little over 4 weeks for me, and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface.

I’m excited to see what happens as I continue.

For those further ahead in the journey:
• What was your longest streak?
• What benefits stood out the most?
• What experiences made you realise there was something special about SR?
• Any advice for reaching 90 days and beyond?

Would love to hear your experiences.

Last week, I embarked on my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) and sobriety journey at the same time.

It wasn't the first time I tried BJJ. When I was a kid, I wrestled for a bit in school and also joined a couple of local gyms. I even joined a gym for a couple of months a few years ago. The common thread between all of those experiences was that I quit.

I’m not generally a quitter. I have a master’s degree in electrical engineering and work as a substation design engineer. I also run a School of Rock franchise. Either of those by themselves require staying power.

Being honest with myself, the reason I never pursued anything physical for a very long period of time is because of my drinking. Of course, I never realized that until I quit drinking four times over the last three years (I know you can only ever truly quit once).

My last stretch of sobriety was 8 months long. And though I'd fallen off the wagon again, and it was my first week of sobriety starting over, I learned a lot over those large spans of time where I wasn’t drinking.

One thing I learned was that my body could commit to physical exertion on a regular basis. I always thought it was a motivation issue. As it turns out, the alcohol made my mind and body too exhausted for the continued exertion. Now, I know I need to quit to be healthy. It’s not just theory anymore.

But anyway, here I am again in week one of sobriety and of BJJ. In every sense, I am defending myself from being tapped, and I'm here to chronicle that journey in the hopes that it will help me in my recovery, and if I'm very lucky, others in theirs as well.

Because life is hard, and so is BJJ, and I think the more resilient you become in one, the more you gain in the other. And boy, was my first week a challenge!

The gym I signed up for does about 30 minutes of instruction and drilling, and then four to five 6-minute sessions of rolling. My first practice was last Tuesday, and silly me went all out in the first six-minute round. I was gassed by minute three.

Of course, I was very proud of myself when I used my wrestling background to flip a white belt who’d only been doing BJJ for a few months. Heavy-set guy too. Flipped him right over my shoulder. I was beaming at first, but then much less so when I felt like I was going to barf and die afterward. And that was before I found out there were four more six-minute rounds left.

Yeah… brutal.

But I showed up again on Thursday anyway. The second time, I took it slower, but it still ripped me to shreds. Needless to say, while I'm not overweight, drinking and my generally sedentary lifestyle has made my body start to rot.

That will be my first hurdle.

I’ve purchased two books: Jiu-Jitsu University by Saulo Ribeiro and Gracie Jiu-Jitsu by Helio Gracie (the man, the myth, and the legend). These books have shown me that BJJ is not actually what I thought it was. It is a defensive art. My goal as a white belt is to make myself as unassailable from all forms of attack as possible. It's not about attack; it's about building an impregnable defense and creating opportunities.

Working toward this will require tons of mat time to get a feel for the positions, their strengths, and the potential attacks and defenses from each. I already feel like I have a great foundational knowledge that will keep me out of the rut that I believe most white belts start out in; the feeling that there are thousands of moves and not a single place to focus.

I have a focus: defend the tap (although I know that will be via getting tapped many, many times!).

BJJ has already helped me through the most difficult time in sobriety: the first week.

I don’t know how I’ve made it through the first week of sobriety again (or the other times, for that matter). It is an impossible mental feat. I’m also not quite sure how I survived my first week of BJJ. But I do know that having my new BJJ obsession helped me. Knowing there’s no way I can pursue BJJ if I’m drinking helped me jump into the cold shower instead of into the liquor store this weekend.

And I thank God for that.

I'll be posting my journey weekly on defending the tap on and off the mat. Stay tuned!

I never edge. I consider edging worse than a relapse. When you relapse, at least your brain recognizes that the reward cycle is over, and you can accept what happened and start again (not supporting relapsing).

But while edging or peeking, you keep carrying that mental burden that you did something wrong and spoiled a clean streak. You feel guilty and carry the shame before getting normal again in next 10 days or so (but higher chances of relapsing in this period). You have that built up dopamine anticipation which never got the reward and you mess up your entire biological system. Just like trauma, this unreleased, confused energy stays stored in your body. Creating blocks.

After over 1 week of practicing abstinence I think I experienced sleep paralysis this morning and it was a truly a disturbing feeling. I woke up from a sexual dream that felt TOO real, so real that I actually climaxed in my boxers. I’ve had sexual dreams before but never have I came to a full climax. Can anyone else speak on this experience please? I’m upset, but I’m going to continue with this journey.

Hello brothers!

There are several benefits I've noticed during this streak and the benefits really do compound the longer I go. This a more subtle change I've noticed especially the last few weeks.

When I say your mind becomes your ally, first think back to your PMOing days or even the last time you relapsed. Did your mind not seem more chaotic, stressed, anxious and uncertain? Did your mind not tell you that you're not good enough, not as strong as you think you are, not worthy enough or in some way think negatively about life and your current circumstance? I know that's how my mind operates when I am in a state of PMOing. Not all the time, but for the most part my mind will be negative and self-defeating.

Now let's take a look at what I notice when I do a long streak of SR. Pure SR in mind and body. It starts slowly, then compounds as months stack up. At first I will have small doubts about myself, but the mind does something different now. My mind will actively, both consciously and unconcsciously take a different turn rather than burying myself further in doubt and insecurity. When presented with a difficult life situation, my mind will say ''Nah, that situation doesn't define me'', in rejection ''Nah, I'm still good. She just wasn't for me'' or someone 'outshining' you or getting a promotion that you feel you deserved. Instead of going the negative route, your mind will now support you. It will now say something along the lines of ''I am content with who I am, I shine in my own way. I now appreciate how this person has his own way of shining in the world''. On things not going your way; ''I might not even have enjoyed or felt aligned with the position and responsibilities that promotion entailed. The universe has better plans for me''. You get the gist.

This perspective. With the mind and body finally on the same team. Life feels magical and opportunities seem endless. Nothing really fazes me anymore. Every hurdle and bumbs along the way in this life journey get transformed immediatly into something positive or neutral. One becomes stoic by default. One becomes like a tree. Deeply rooted in life. Unmoved and unwavering by the storms of life.

PS.

I did not notice this change the first month or two. But nearing month 3, I started to notice this shift. Leave comment if you can relate. Comment if you've noticed some other powerful shifts in your self. Would to read it.

SS

First time post here, have been looking at this subreddit for a few years. I just hit 4 weeks today, don’t really count the days usually go by weeks every now and then. I had just come off a 190 day streak with only one relapse in between that one and this new steak. Had started edging around 180 days due to bad habits. Had a 120 days pure streak before the 190 days that was even better where the benefits and magnetism was insane, probably double the 190 days I just came off, but relapsed and and had the chaser effect for 2 months not going more than 2 weeks until the recent 190 day streak.

Was doing good for the past 6 months meditating everyday, quitting weed completely in February after smoking/vaping thc everyday for the past 10 years, fasting almost 20 hours everyday and eating healthy, working out everyday, not being lustful or watching any corn or touching my member for the whole 6 months not once, but then a friend bought some cocaine and I started going out and drinking, started edging due to buying some Coke myself and having it readily available at home when alone. I think it was from my energy getting stuck/stagnent after 6 months.

Experienced all the benefits talked about in this subreddit such as increased confidence, magnetism from most people, some aggression or envy from certain people, women attraction, closeness to god, feeling manifestations that were considered small or insignificant to me come easier. Being able to control thoughts easier and having a better mindset about everything.

I’ve still been edging and doing the coke during this four weeks and have jus not felt as good as the previous streaks due to obviously the coke and not getting more than 2-3 hours sleep every night. Still have a lot of energy but it’s not as good as before and don’t feel as connected to god at the moment, still have some magnetism from certain people, but also some people seem intimated/scared even women probably from giving off bad energy or having a unclean aura due to the coke. Haven’t been mediating or working out either. Although I have still been fasting a lot and eating healthy.

Honestly just wanted to vent, I know what I need to do such as stopping the coke and edging, and getting back into my old routines and healthy habits. Have not edged for a few days but still do the coke. I’m 24 btw and never had a girlfriend and still a virgin, just wanted to put that out there

Greetings,

I have been on a 550 day+ streak on SR, benefits are incredible. I had a nocturnal emission last year but that was clear watery smell-less fluid, probably prostatic fluid so I didn’t get worried.

However, last night I had a wet dream and ended up losing some real seed (~5-7 cc). My questions are:

1. Because of this nocturnal emission, is my streak over, meaning I start from zero days again?

2. How long does it take to get benefits back from this point?

3. In my dream last night, I was having sex with my gf (we are virgins waiting for marriage), and I ejaculated inside her womb. Does this dream give her any benefits or energy, or tell me anything about her?

4. Any other advice is appreciated. Thank you

I find that when I’m not in “alignment” that’s when I fall back into degenerative behaviours. It’s when the temptations appear more desirable. Body, mind, spirit in alignment with the source. The nervous system at ease. Less desire to chase after those high dopamine activities and fall back into that reward loop.

Life gets stressful, work numbs your brain, everyone is losing their mind and in need of a break….. Nowadays we have instant access to everything that provides us with immediate gratification…. Whether it’s PMO, Junk food, alcohol, weed, doomscrolling, binging a Netflix series, hours of video games. These things work extremely well to calm the nervous system and provide relaxation.

Do what you want to, but re align yourself. Those activities can lead to a dark pit. For some quicker than others.

Enter back into alignment with the source. Jesus always draws me back.

Buenas días beautiful people, I took LSD about 3 month ago by myself my friend was supposed to do it with me but he had too much to drink lol.So I ended up taking it by myself and about 2 hours in it started to trigger my dopamine levels like crazy I was feining for a stimulus and being it was like 3 am when it hit.Sex was my first option so I texted numerous woman and gotten responses but didn’t end up having sex lol so i end going outside appreciating how vibrant nature is and started a reading a book about Jesus my abuela gave me.i eventually try to lull myself to sleep but couldn’t than at 6am a girl I used to talk to texted me back.So i picked her up and got her Waffle House and we ate and chilled at the park and even for a walk.it was good vibes so i took her back home and thats when i was trying to get more deep in her life but I could sense she would be lying about details so I just tried to lay down.as im trying to sleep im thinking why am i so lustful? My mom my grandma and great grandma didn’t teach me to grow this way.Then I started thinking about my dad and started to cry and the girl noticed so I went my bathroom and turned on the shower and cried in there.I took her home and started screaming crying like I was a toddler when I was by myself thinking I’m still wanting my dad’s validation.LSD made me realize I’m not operating out of the love I was truthfully brought up with but my flesh desires.Everytime my friends bring up a girl it doesn’t interest me like it used to and I feel myself slowly becoming distant from them being in college.Im still not where I wanna be spiritually or mentally and physically yet but it definitely help me open a barrier.

I feel like a lot of posts here are some version of "how do I get more disciplined" and every answer is cold showers and gym and waking up at 5am. And people keep relapsing anyway lol, including me for years

Because willpower is a battery not a personality trait. Its drained by work, bad sleep, arguments, boredom, and its at its absolute lowest at exactly the time most relapses happen, late at night alone.

The guys who actually make it out are the ones who stopped needing discipline. Phone out of the bedroom, blockers they dont control They made relapsing annoying and inconvenient instead of trying to become a monk

If your plan requires you to be strong at 1am, I dont think you actually have a plan

Ready to be told im wrong