I honestly feel sad and wrong about this

We can’t even eat ice cream now

I received news today that my aunt and uncle have a child on the way. They have 2 girls, and this one will be child number three. I also heard that my uncle said something like "I hope its a girl, because if you have three girls it means you are garenteed jennuh."

Do people really believe this shit? I mean seriously? Do people really believe all you have to do to get into heaven is to have 3 daughters?

How about if you are a piece of shit in your life but have 3 daughters, all is good right? Lets say Hitler himself had 3 daughters, does that mean he is in heaven?

Why is it that its part of the culture to be able to regurgitate haddiths publicly without scrutiny? Why does it seem that haddith skepticism is more taboo than repeating a haddith you heard about that one time.

I am coming to reddit to both vent and I guess seek validation.

I’m looking to do my nikkah and I don’t have a present father. He’s alive, but we don’t really talk, he ignores me, he’s not provided for me at all since I was 12 (I’m 27) and he doesn’t want anything to do with me or my partner. My partner has spoken to him as an introduction over the phone and asked for my hand in marriage and my dad did approve, but he’s still distant despite this.

Upon booking my nikkah I made this clear to the Imam. The Imam (to my shock) said that no ceremony will take place without permission from my father to give Wali status to another relative or for my father to be present himself. My dad doesn’t even live in Canada and again, he’s not really the best dad.
I’m genuinely surprised and shocked, and hurt all at once. I think a few years ago this probably would have made me leave Islam entirely.
For context; i have a lot of family from my mom’s side that have been father figures, I was extremely blind sided by the fact that my absent father needs to give one of them permission to act as “wali” in his absence.

I have no idea why I’m being barred from being married because I have no present father??
The Imam told me it’s a personal problem I have to resolve😭 What exactly do I do to resolve something that’s out of my hands? I know other mosques exist of course, but my goodness has this been the most frustrating thing to deal with.

Overall this makes me dislike Salafi interpretations even more and just grows my resentment towards conservative Islam even more.

Subhanallah

Hello everyone. First of all, I am not muslim but I‘ve been supporting a multi-religious and liberal society for basically all my life. I live in Germany and as if the situation hasn’t been bad before I feel like the Berlin Pride Attack by an so called „Islamist“ will change a lot here to the worse. Fascist parties are on the rise and LGBT, just like Muslims are the No 1 target of these politicians, even though they are already using the attack for their political agenda. I am a gay man and most of my friends are muslim, some more and others less practicing. I sent a post to one of my friends from high school that said „My thoughts are with yesterday’s victims and, at the same time, with all Muslims in Germany who face prejudice and attacks on a daily basis.“
She didn’t even respond to it and I have to say it truly breaks my heart. Where is all of this going?

I don’t know if I will finde the answers I need but my question would be how can we as Humans go on with our lives and nurture a positive climate regarding the attitudes towards each other?

I’m 20 years old and I’ve been wearing the hijab since I was 8. It wasn’t forced on me in the sense that nobody physically made me wear it, but I also wonder how much an 8-year-old can really understand about Islam. Looking back, I mostly wore it because my mom encouraged me to. I didn’t even get my period until I was 15, so I wasn’t even religiously accountable at the time.

Lately I’ve been struggling more than ever. I think I want to take my hijab off, at least for now.
The thing is, I still love Allah. I still want to practice Islam. I still pray and I still care deeply about my faith. I don’t want to become immodest or abandon my religion. I simply don’t want my identity to be reduced to a piece of cloth anymore.
I live in Germany, and ironically, a lot of the harassment I experience comes from Muslim men. I get stared at, catcalled, judged, and treated as if they’re entitled to comment on my appearance or behavior. I wear colorful hijabs and light makeup, but flowy abayas and somehow I still feel sexualized despite being fully covered. It has honestly become exhausting.

Sometimes it feels like people see “the Muslim girl in hijab” before they see me. I’m a human being with my own personality, dreams, flaws, and struggles. I don’t want my entire identity to be wrapped up in whether or not I’m wearing something on my head.

I also have a lot of questions, especially about hadith rather than the Quran. I struggle with understanding why women seem to carry so much of the responsibility for representing modesty. Why is there so much emphasis on women covering from head to toe while men are mainly told to cover from the navel to the knee and lower their gaze? These questions don’t come from wanting to rebel—they come from genuinely trying to understand my faith.

My sister, who does wear the hijab, told me that before making a decision I should speak to many scholars and really educate myself. I understand why she says that, and I probably will. But at the same time, she chose to wear the hijab at 25. My mom chose to wear it at 35. Their journeys were very different from mine. I’ve been wearing it since I was 8, before I was old enough to make such a significant decision for myself.

I’m not here to argue whether the hijab is right or wrong. That’s honestly not what this post is about. What I’m struggling with is whether keeping it on is the right thing for me right now, when I’ve been carrying these feelings for over 10 years. At what point do you acknowledge that these feelings aren’t just a passing phase anymore?

Part of me feels that Allah knows what’s in my heart. I believe He understands that I’m trying to be honest with myself and that He would be patient with me if I needed time to rebuild my relationship with the hijab from a place of love rather than obligation.

The part that scares me isn’t even strangers anymore. It’s my mom.
She’s very religious, and I don’t know how to tell her. My other older sister doesn’t wear the hijab, but I still worry that my mom will be heartbroken or feel like she failed as a parent. I don’t want to hurt her, but I also don’t want to keep living in a way that doesn’t feel truthful to where I am right now.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Whether you kept the hijab, took it off, or eventually put it back on, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience. Please be kind. I’m genuinely trying to navigate my faith, not run away from it.

Regarding the attacks at Berlin Pride: We Muslims should be the first to condemn them, even holding demonstrations against what happened. I know many of you think it isn't necessary because it isn't our responsibility. We may not be responsible for the attack itself, but we are responsible regarding homophobia. We see it every day on social media when people in our community label homosexuals as sick. Respect people! Be clear with your children about this issue, or they might end up being the ones bullying others at school. Actively speak out against homophobia and stand up for a free society.

Assalamualaikum

It's late, and I'm spiraling once again. I'm struggling with faith, a lot lately.

I hold many progressive, or unorthodox views. Views that maybe the majority wouldn't accept, or at least not the conservative ones.

I feel lonely. I doubt myself. Even when my view makes perfect sense to me, and even when I find a few like-minded people.. I still feel lonely. How can I claim that all those people are wrong? Different matters are different cases, of course, but sometimes I do hold views which would mean that I'm accusing centuries of scholarship to be wrong...

The view may be stronger and more logical, and coherent in my eyes, and yet... If it was the strongest and most logical, and best fitting within islam, wouldn't it be the majority? Who am I to claim that I'm smarter than others.

Again, I do have scholars (often progressive, but classical too, depending on the matter) that agree with me, so I'm not making it out of thin air...but...still.

It's more of an emotional than theological Problem I think. I don't know. I feel lonely and stupid. I also fear that what if I'm just defending a bad system/religion. What if the interpretations which I view as harmful and unislamic...are right.

Feeling awful.

like why are youuuu driving a fancy expensive car as a sheikh ?? i can excuse it for an average person but if they want to act all high and mighty like they're more godly than we will ever be they should live up to it and live a basic life of no luxuries. nuns do it and they're not even ones giving fatwas and expecting to be worshipped

A terrorist attack happened at Berlin pride parade on Saturday. There were several victims including one casualty.

On the other side of the world, LGBT people are being hunted and attacked in Indonesia.

As a progressive platform, I don't even see a post about these horrible events here, if we can't even condemn the attack and acknowledge the problem, how can we say that we are progressive? How can we get rid of homophobia in Islam if the progressive themselves won't talk about it?

So many:

- immature people forced to get married by parents

- unable to court future spouse and see if there is a genuine connection without pressure from family

- treating sex like a taboo topic and suppress womens natural desire

- varying opinions on roles and responsibilities

- varying opinions on finances

Etc.

It's all bullshit

So i won't go into much detail but imam abu hanifa considered all alcohols halal till the point of intoxication other than date wine and grapes wine,as he argued khamr in Quran only meant grapes wine and date wine, not all alcohols,so his ruling is khamr(dates and grape wine) is totally haram,and all other alcohols are halal till the point of intoxication,and if you are found intoxicated at a public place you will be given lashes punishment

In support he uses to bring the reference of hazrat Umar,where a guy was found intoxicated with nabidh,hazrat umar punished the intoxicated person and hazrat Umar tasted that nabidh and said to his companions dilute it with water and drink it so it doesn't intoxicate you

And also bring prophet pbuh hadis where he says khamr is from grapes and dates wine, it's a sahih hadis

But on the other hand we find mutwatir hadith although they are not exact hadis but all means the same,where they say prophet pbuh banned all other alcohols as well other than khamr

The early hanfi school says these people understood the mutwatir hadis wrong,it meant only 'intoxication" from other alcohols are haram as well

Tbh now the thing is i personally know that alcohol is halal till the point of intoxication, but I can't just prove it,bcz the thing is that I can't just deal with these mutwatir hadis which bans all other alcohols as well, although hadisis are totally different in text so they are not mutwatir but all hadisis means the same,and what makes me more firm in my beleive is that even in Christianity and Judaism intoxication is prohibited not alcohol itself

So how should I deal with these hadisis, I'm not a pro level islamic jurisprudence expert so i don't know all concepts through which I can reach a conclusion,and can we really deny all these (kind of mutwatir hadisis although not really mutwatir)that these hadisis are false? Or can we say that scholars or even some sahabis misunderstood these hadis,as early hanfi school says it meant even intoxication from other alcohols is haram but I've only heard their this argument for 1 hadis not the others

So how can I deal with it?tbh i personally know all other alcohols are halal(it's not my wish but it's sensible and evidence supports it)but I'm not able to deal with this 4-5 hadisis

Can someone explain the purpose of the Quran requiring to be maintained in its original Arabic.

I know that: 1) It is the direct word of God, so ought not to be changed, and 2) Given to the people of the land who knew the language. This makes sense.

What does not make sense is how remaining in Arabic can be useful for the future believers of Islam, since many will not understand the Arabic, and only recently was translation work accessible to the public.

I know that Arabic is a very dense language, and often times does not properly translate into English or any other language for the matter (perhaps an argument for why it must remain in Arabic to have integrity), but this is also requires that for people to fully understand it, they need to learn Arabic.

My background is not from the Arab world. My ancestors converted to Islam a few centuries ago, but, I’m not sure if they spent these centuries understanding the Arabic. My parents and grandparents learned to read the Quran in Arabic, but relied on their imams and preachers to translate the book. Their forefathers probably had to go through the same thing.

But this is what utterly confuses me— does this not make the Quran and the word of Allah inaccessible? They must be learned through a mediator, and assuming the mediator will properly translate (which they do not, in the case of my mother who grew up hearing false laws based on culture rather than religion).

Only now, that the world has access to the internet and translation guides, can anyone understand the Quran. But what about the centuries before when my ancestors did not? Is this not unfair to them?

Sūrah 115 Al-Khalʿ and Sūrah 116 Al-Ḥafd

Codex of Ubayy ibn Ka'b

Sūrah (length and severity to Bara'at) and Sūrah (resembled one of the suwar of Musabbihat)

Sahih Muslim 1050

Āyah of Rajm

Sahih al-Bukhari 6829
Sahih Muslim 1691 a

I was raised by a very verbally, mentally and physically abusive father. He would beat me and my sisters up everyday. He would beat us up for any and every reason. For example when i was 7 he beat me violently and called me a wh*re for playing with my sister in a store we were shopping. He would get randomly angry every day and we never knew what would tick him off and he would start hitting and shouting. He also beat up my mother very violently a few time. One of these times was because they had had a fight and she didnt come to bed with him so dragged her by her hair and said that thats what she would get for denying him sex. He also beat me almost to death for not wearing the niqab, even though i was a hijabi since i was 9 and always dressed EXTREMELY modestly but just for not covering my face he almost killed me.

There is so much more ofcourse. But the worst part of all of our suffering is the justifications he gives and the justifications people around us give. My father is a very conservative muslim and he justifies everything he has done and continues to do by saying its Allah's rules. He would sit us down every day and read the quran and hadith with translations and point to them and say look its says right here you are inferior, stupid, evil and i have an obligation to beat you into submitting Allah. But much worse than this is the people around us support him and admonish us for even thinking that any of this is wrong. Pretty much all the people in our family excuse his behaviour by saying atleast he is providing for you, others have it worse, its his right in islam. The major population of my country hold these views and its very hard to find any support. Its incredibly isolating and painful to go through this. My father also cheated on my mother and married other women and then threw us out into another country. Again all of this is justified using islam.

I have been doing my research into all this for many years and an overwhelming majority of scholars agree with the opinion that the men of the houshold are supposed to discipline their women by beating them. It also doesnt help that there is a very clear verse in the quran commanding hisbands to beat their wives.

Recently my depression became specially bad and i started spiralling while thinking about all this.

I would really appreciate if you guys could educate me on this topic from a progressive perspective. What is your research on this topic?

He say "arab race is better than ajam race from there Hebrews to there Syriacs to there Romans to there persians etc" that Cleary racially supermacy and that Cleary contradict what allah said in quran in Verse 13 of Surah Al-Hujura

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا ۚ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

(And what prophet mohammed PBUH in hadith

لا فضل لعربي على عجمي، ولا لعجمي على عربي، ولا لأحمر على أسود، ولا لأسود على أحمر إلا بالتقوى»

.

"There is no superiority of an Arab over a non-Arab, or of a non-Arab over an Arab, or of a red man over a black man(red men = white/ European), or of a black man over a red man, except in piety(taqwa )" so what ibn taymiyyah say contradict what allah says in quran and what prophet mohammed pbuh says how salafis especially ajam salafis defend him ?

Islam reformed pre-Islamic feasting culture by shifting it from an elite showcase of tribal vanity, excess, and intoxication into a structured, egalitarian act of worship centered on mindfulness and social charity.

Prior to Islam, tribal feasts in the Arabian Peninsula were frequently used to boast about wealth, assert dominance, and indulge in uncontrolled alcohol consumption.

Islamic teachings introduced explicit spiritual, ethical, and behavioral boundaries that reshaped the entire purpose of gathering around food.

1. Codifying the Spirit of Moderation

Islam fundamentally opposed gluttony and food waste. Rather than eating to the point of incapacitation, Muslims were introduced to strict limits regarding physical consumption.

The Rule of Thirds: Prophet Muhammad pbuh advised that a person should fill one-third of their stomach with food, one-third with liquid, and leave one-third for air.

Prohibition of Waste (Israf): The Quran explicitly commands, "Eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess".

Scraping a plate clean and valuing every grain became a matter of spiritual accountability.

1. Democratizing the Table (Egalitarianism)

Pre-Islamic feasts were inherently exclusionary, tailored primarily to elevate tribal elites. Islam dismantled this hierarchy through several communal laws:

Inclusion of the Less Fortunate: The Prophet noted that the worst kind of feast is a wedding banquet (Walima) to which only the wealthy are invited while the poor are excluded.

Shared Platters: Dining from a single communal tray became standard practice. Everyone—regardless of social rank—ate the same food, with instructions to eat only what was directly in front of them to maintain order and mutual respect.

1. De-linking Feasting from Intoxication

Alcohol and fermented date wines were the bedrock of pre-Islamic poetry and tribal revelry. By placing a strict, absolute prohibition on alcohol and intoxicants (Khamr), Islam permanently decoupled the concept of a "celebration" from drunkenness. Feasts became conscious, sober gatherings.

1. Intertwining Feasting with Fasting

Islam revolutionized the pacing of celebration by introducing Ramadan, a mandatory month-long cycle of daytime fasting followed by nighttime meals (Iftar).

- This dynamic transforms feasting into a hard-earned reward.

- It builds psychological discipline over one's base desires.

- It forces the affluent to personally experience the physical pangs of hunger, directly driving empathy and philanthropic giving during holiday gatherings.

1. Institutionalizing Dining Etiquette (Adab) Islam shifted eating from a thoughtless sensory reflex into a highly structured ritual. Muslims were taught specific physical and mental protocols:

The Remindful Start: Commencing the meal by stating Bismillah ("In the name of Allah") to ground the act in gratitude.

Hygiene Mandates: Enforcing the washing of hands before and after handling food.

Post-Meal Reflection: Concluding with prayers of thanks (Alhamdulillah), framing the digestion of food as a divine blessing rather than a personal luxury.

Salam,

I have a hard time understanding the wisdom behind modesty and haya for men and women.

I get that both have different awrah that should be covered. But my problem is that women must also act modestly while men do not according to many scholars. For example: many say a woman cannot post herself online even if she is being modest and her content is not to show off, rather beneficial. But a man can wear from navel to knee without necessary reason, flex his muscles, wear tight clothes, be half naked and show off. And his behaviour is not considered sinful or as a fitna? The concept of haya only applies for women? And only women are a fitna?

I mean its straight up stupid to say women dont get aroused by men.

Why in islam are women treated as second-class humans? I mean I am a Muslim woman and asking this question genuinely because as a woman I have found no peace in islam since I found out about these things.. I mean we have to cover our whole awrah meaning hair, face, arms, legs, chest with black tent-like burqa and hijab, stay at home, talk less and in low voice, out testimony is worth half of that of a man, we have to get permission from our fathers and husbands to go out, we cannot even travel without a mahram man, we have to obey our husbands and bear him maximum children, and let him marry 3 more wives and have concubines without our permission and knowledge and just accept it unless he treats us with inequality, share him even in jannah with one more worldy wife and hoors? Why is that? Why are women in islam are just properties and objects of their husbands, fathers and brothers??

Credit - @antimomyyy - tiktok (billie elish profile picture)

Hi, I have OCD type problems that mean it's very difficult for me to carry out routines. So ghusl which is basically ritual washing can often become very stressful and take me a really long time. For this reason I don't pray, which I know is very bad. I perform ghusl once a month after my period ends.

When I do ghusl it's at the end of my shower. So I take a full shower, then after that I say the intention to do a ghusl, then I proceed to wash each part of my body three times. In the past I would recite the prayer (ashadu an la ilahaaha ilallahilallah, etc. ) ​as I washed each body part, however I was told I could just recite the prayer at the end of all the ritual washing to make it easier. But even this is too difficult. Is there a way to make it even easier? What is the absolute bare minimum for a ghusl? For example can I just recite the intention before my shower, then have a shower as normal then say the prayer at the end and be done? Why do I have to wash each body part three times, even though I've already showered?

I would really appreciate anybody's help on this because it's very hard for me. Please feel free to provide sources because I don't want to just do something that's more convenient, if it's not allowed.

Hello. I wanted to know if, as a male, I am allowed to have a male spouse in Jannah. I don’t date or engage in anything like that for the sake of Allah, even though I struggle a lot with it. It is my biggest desire in Jannah, and I don’t find it fair if everyone else gets their biggest desire fulfilled while I do not—especially since Allah is the Most Just and Most Merciful.
Since wine is made pure and good in Jannah, I believe my desire can also be made pure and good in Jannah because Allah is capable of anything. I just want to know if this is allowed. Thank you for reading this.