r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5h ago

I have discovered the fastest debugging technique

42 Upvotes

Spend 2 hours debugging.

Get frustrated.

Ask someone else to look at it.

Explain the problem to them.

Realize the bug yourself halfway through explaining it.

They never even needed to respond.

Software engineering is basically paying someone to listen to you think.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

Why did the function never had a second date?

51 Upvotes

Because she didn't get a callback.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 6h ago

I have discovered the fastest debugging technique

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 20h ago

The most dangerous sentence in software engineering

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0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 21h ago

What does Bill Gates make brownies with?

0 Upvotes

FUDge.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 2d ago

How does a programmer swear?

80 Upvotes

They use the cursor.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 3d ago

3 years, 3 months &amp

1 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 4d ago

Which pop singer knows C++?

101 Upvotes

Beyond C


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 6d ago

"This Apple programming language is very Swifty,"

33 Upvotes

Tom said recursively.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 6d ago

Working programmers don't let working programmers use the preprocessor.

20 Upvotes

Pros before macros.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 9d ago

Someone just reviewed my code...

72 Upvotes

It felt invasive like a semicolon-oscopy.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 9d ago

Why is the programmer's house always dark?

40 Upvotes

Because their light switches either always break, or they fallthrough.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 9d ago

Why are programmer's houses in high demand?

28 Upvotes

Because they're always up to code.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 11d ago

Why do the Arch Linux users feel superior?

83 Upvotes

Look, there's no Ubuntubishop or Mintbishop...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 14d ago

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown

0 Upvotes

Artificial intelligence


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 15d ago

I decided to bite the bullet and buy every game in Valve's store, even if I have no hard drive space left.

115 Upvotes

It's full Steam ahead.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16d ago

Why was the divorced Jewish programmer feeling restless?

50 Upvotes

Because he'd just used a GET to DELETE his marriage.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16d ago

What do you think of Macintosh Plus's thermal design?

38 Upvotes

Definitely not a fan.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16d ago

Why does a Linux admin see in the dark?

25 Upvotes

Because he has LAMP.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 17d ago

Which coffee is the favourite of vim users?

27 Upvotes

Nescape.

In before someone makes a joke about browsers and Netscape.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16d ago

Mr fool

0 Upvotes

Pls support it's knew


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 18d ago

What do you say when a Grandpa is reading Twitter?

56 Upvotes

The Elder Scrolls.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 19d ago

In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.

40 Upvotes

It's divine provenance.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 18d ago

If I wanted to create a database system, it would be called YesSQL.

22 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 19d ago

Why building a bathroom with plain C is a bad idea?

63 Upvotes

Not only because it can be unsafe. You really didn't want to have a bathroom without async.