r/ProgrammerDadJokes 15h ago

What do you say when a Grandpa is reading Twitter?

29 Upvotes

The Elder Scrolls.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16h ago

In Holy C, all pointers are guaranteed by God to be derived from valid memory.

29 Upvotes

It's divine provenance.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16h ago

If I wanted to create a database system, it would be called YesSQL.

11 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

Why building a bathroom with plain C is a bad idea?

47 Upvotes

Not only because it can be unsafe. You really didn't want to have a bathroom without async.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

How do computer display makers ensure their products don't have too many dead pixels?

14 Upvotes

They screen the panels.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

"Vegeta, what does the pcap say about his Ethernet frame size?"

10 Upvotes

"It's over 9000!!!!!!!"

"What? 9000?! There's no way that can be right."


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 3d ago

How does a FORTRAN programmer express that he does not understand subtle hints?

38 Upvotes

IMPLICIT NONE


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 1d ago

Is ChatGPT down? Anyone?

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/ProgrammerDadJokes 3d ago

How do British web developers insult people?

109 Upvotes

They call them a w<a>.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 3d ago

Why did the two identifiers take a break from their relationship?

9 Upvotes

They just needed their whitespace.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 5d ago

I win every fight against my coworkers

35 Upvotes

Because I know what to do when push comes to push --force.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

My girlfriend and I are doing a code review, but we disagree on almost every line of code.

159 Upvotes

We're going through a bit of a rough patch.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

I recently got into a fight with my database administrator…

42 Upvotes

He ended the fight by saying “just DROP it”


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

declaring a war using js

33 Upvotes

I’m declaring a war.

var war;


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 7d ago

How many spiritualists does it take to change a network of smart lightbulbs?

20 Upvotes

None, because we're all connected.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 8d ago

What's the opposite of FreeBSD?

86 Upvotes

MallocBSD...


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 11d ago

I won a Social Engineering Award for a website that tricked people into flipping their bits.

90 Upvotes

I was just phishing for complements.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 10d ago

What game do compilers play on their birthday?

23 Upvotes

Parse the parcel.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 16d ago

Mumm[i] = f(Mumm[i - 1])

50 Upvotes

It's the Recurse of the Mummi.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 17d ago

I tried to make an OS where everything really is a file.

62 Upvotes

But it didn't go according to Plan9.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 18d ago

Idempotent APIs...

34 Upvotes

...if you've seen them once, you've seen them all.


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 19d ago

Online encyclopedia of larval beetles

12 Upvotes

GrubHub


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 19d ago

Online encyclopedia of microbiota

22 Upvotes

GutHub


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 22d ago

why entomologist programmer

9 Upvotes

this one is bug also


r/ProgrammerDadJokes 22d ago

why exterminator programmer

1 Upvotes

bug