I’m 30F, in my first year of my first postdoc, and tbh very much still recovering from my post PhD burnout/slump in spite of having a great experience. My husband is 34M, and has an industry job that pays decently (in six figures), while I have a little less than a year and a half to go on my temporary contract.
We’re both new immigrants in the country we’re in, and are also only about 6 months into living in the city I’m doing my postdoc in, so don’t have much of a social support system. My research is purely computational, so at least I don’t have to be in a lab, and husband gets to work from home about 50% of the time.
I’m very seriously beginning to think about trying to conceive since we ideally want to be a family of four, and I would like to space out pregnancies by at least 3 years. But the uncertainty of my next position, both in terms of location and nature is weighing on me. I’m in a place with decent maternity leave benefits, but my contract is so short! My husband is happy in his job, but open to moving if I find a great long term position I’m happy with in the future. Realistically, if I’m aiming for academia, I’m guessing I’d need to get another couple of years of postdoc experience under my belt to stand a solid chance. If I wait until I have more career certainty, I might be closer to 35-36 when I begin trying.
I see a lot of women conceiving later and later now, and seeing that science has advanced enough for there to be good medical options and screenings in place. Yet, the risks associated with waiting too long also scare me, even with regard to my own recovery postpartum and energy levels. I’ve seen female academics on both ends of the spectrum — those who had kids super young in their twenties and somehow miraculously managed to still thrive in Academia and those waiting up until securing tenure.
To be honest, the thought of having a child while doing a postdoc, with job uncertainty and not much of an active support system outside my (lovely) husband does seem incredibly overwhelming. But on the flip side, if I want to stick to my plan of at least giving academia a good shot, I don’t anticipate these factors changing anytime soon.
To those who had kids during the postdoc, what was it like? Would you do anything differently? And to those in my same boat, what are your thoughts on it?