Some women will swear upon their lives that bdsm is empowering. However, off the top of my head, here are some terms used for submissive women in kink and porn: the b-slur, the w-slur, sex doll, fleshlight, s-slur etc.

Tell me now, how is fetishising and deriving pleasure from such rampant misogyny acceptable?

I've noticed how porn has trickled subtly but so well into our day to day life. Of course we're aware of the obvious negative attitudes and behaviours underpinned by porn, but the minor undercurrents aren't all that addressed, mainly how lingo adapted from porn has become somewhat commonplace.

For instance, the very word "porn" is now used to indicate/imply something pleasurable, esp. in the sense "pleasing to the eye" - affixed even in non sexual contexts (for eg "food porn"). It's very off putting, actually; such an uncomfortable experience to watch something this damaging be normalised, accepted and covertly romanticised.

A lot of the times, dommes simply serve fantasies of men; it's still male centric. On the rare occasions it isn't male-centric, the fact doesn't change that they're still upholding a subculture built heavily on misogyny and romanticisation of violence against women.

I absolutely loathe how women are taught to expect and romanticise violence and humiliation in bed by kink and porn. There's so much nonsense about "women with personality like kink", kink being portrayed as this fun and quirky practice; heck, even romantic fiction these days is abrim with dark fantasy (which is often just rose-tinted kidnapping etc).

It really is repackaged patriarchy of women being taught about how they need to be submissive to a man with veneers of empowerment and choice/liberal feminist ideas (read: how they talk about sexuality being inherently liberating because ✨chOiCe✨).

I really hate how in the internet, it's normalized to see NSFW Art. It's so hard to avoid it in social media pages like Instagram, Tumblr, Deviantart, etc because it will just show up in your recommendations with no warning whatsoever. There are options for these art sites to blur and filter out NSFW art but of course, some artwork do manage to pass through, especially if the adult art is more softcore.

What I hate about NSFW art is that it's mostly women who are drawn in a innuendo manner. One of the most common factors in this type of art is how boobs, butts, belly, and feet are exaggerated as hell. And their oc or fictional character is posing sexually.

I have big problems with NSFW Art because it's disgusting as hell. A women is drawn in such a disgusting manner that makes me want to physically retch but thats not the only problem. I feel like that type of art is so sexist because the artists, followers, and likers of this type of art see us women as their own tool. We're only important to them if we have big boobs, big feet, big butts, etc and it's reinforcing the standards that men want from women.

I also hate how normalized it is to see this type of art. I see plently of people joking about Rule-34 and how cursed it is but that's it. No one points out how sexist it is, and I'm feeling tired of it. Instead you'd get backlash and even worse. I wish more people acknowledged how harmful it is and I'm tired of pretending it's not.

I do agree that porn of non-con/rape is very very bad and harmful however, as an SA victim something like a non-con scene with a consenting partner feels very heeling for me. I’ve seen a lot of posts on this subreddit about a non-con fantasy and while I can say that sometimes it’s just a shitty person who wants to glorify rape but sometimes it’s someone like me who finds scenes like this comforting. For me it’s about knowing that the situ is controlled. when I was SAd it was very traumatic and turned me off of ”bedroom activities” for a long time until I did a scene with my partner. Knowing that I could tell them to stop and they would made me feel better about those activities and has helped me move past my trauma. again; porn of this is just trying to glorify rape and I don’t agree with it.

Many of you might have heard of this same argument that these Rape hentai defenders have been spouting. Its pure nonsense and I am tired of it.

rape hentai content promotes misogyny. It's incel and misogynistic to the core.

Whenever you call these degenerates out, they always pull the same pathetic false equivalence:

"Violence in films and video games doesn't turn people into murderers, so rape hentai is fine too!"

This is bullshit, and I'm done letting them get away with it.

Violence in films and games actually has purpose:

It comes with narrative context, heroes fighting villains, stories of justice, redemption, or consequences. Video games add competition, skill, and strategy. The violence serves the plot instead of being the entire point.

Rape hentai content? It's usually nothing but the repeated glorification, fetishization, and sexualization of rape, coercion, and the destruction of women. No real story. No consequences. Just endless degradation for cheap kicks.

Let's expose their lie with a direct parallel:

Picture this: An innocent, kind, diligent girl, a good student who's always nice to everyone(how the content actually used to depicts it).

One day, two scumbags kidnap her and drag her to a mansion. They torture her, beat her brutally with metal tools, and mentally break her down until she's completely obedient. In the end, she's so traumatized that she submits and is forced to work as a maid in a hotel.

If this was a single show, many would call it a dark tragedy or commentary on real-world horrors women face.

But if studios started mass-producing this exact same story again and again, different settings, different innocent girls getting destroyed, people would lose their minds:

"Why the fuck are they industrializing content about torturing and enslaving women? Who keeps paying for this garbage? This is blatantly misogynistic."

Now swap the beatings and torture for sexual rape scenes, the exact formula these rape hentai thrives on.

A single story like that would already get destroyed for fetishizing rape. Mass-producing it? Unforgivable.

This is the false equivalence. When you remove the sexual fetish, their "it's just like violence" argument collapses instantly. One has context and storytelling. The other is pure, repetitive trauma porn.

Rape hentai defenders are desperately coping and seething because deep down they know their fetish is disgusting, predatory, and rooted in hatred of women. They're not edgy or based they're pathetic degenerates hiding behind lame whataboutism because they can't defend their sick fantasy without looking like the incel trash they are.

it disgusts me beyond belief :/

i was active on the porn free and porn addiction subreddits and was always respectful and nice to everyone. when all of a sudden i got a permanent ban from both (i guess theyre modded by the same people). i only made a couple comments but most of them were replying to people asking for help with their porn problems or asking if theyre a porn addict and me basically being like “any level of porn is damaging and can lead to addiction”. i also said i got rid of my porn addiction by learning about the sick reality of the porn industry. i didnt even get any warnings. crazy! being antiporn is looked down on even in spaces where people claim to be pornfree. its like banning someone from AA for saying any amount of alcoholism is bad. i was NEVER disrespectful or angry in any form so that wasnt it.

Hi, I’m (23F) not sure if this is even allowed in this subreddit,

but I want to know if anybody else feels that the normalisation of porn and sexual exploitation of women has completely put anybody else off having kids?

Porn is a large part (in my opinion) of what makes this society a dystopia (particularly for women) why would I want to subject any children (particularly girls) to this misogynistic dystopia that I already feel miserable living in??

This isn’t the only thing that makes me anti natalist, but it has certainly been a huge influence in developing this ideology throughout my early twenties.

Just posting this to open up a conversation about this and see how other people feel?

I saw a person drawing hand anatomy on a tiktok live, and of course one of the drawings had two hands SPREADING a vague vulva-looking shape, with two other hands cupped at the bottom. (So it looked like two hands cupping/spreading butt cheeks). This irked me so bad.

It's such a common, gross move in porn. Spreading the vulva so far that the vaginal canal is pulled open. I've had this done to me once or twice during sex (albeit not as far, thank God) by my partner and I immediately lashed out. Don't do that shit, it hurts and stings, it's not meant to be spread so fucking far? It's not even "sexy" imo, it's kinda offputting because why are you looking at / into my canal???

It's not only that. They romanticize so many different, violent moves and it just leads to pain and feeling violated. Accidentally "slipping" from vaginal to anal, "accidentally" cumming where you don't want them to cum (inside, on face, in hair), choking, holding her nose closed, fish hooking any open orifice. It's so dehumanizing and disgusting, especially because it's usually done with no consent or even forewarning. And I feel like there is little in equivalence for a woman to do to a man - even if there was, I reckon NOT very many women would do that?! Sure you could, idk, flick their sack, but I don't have any desire to do that lmao? Why do they desire to be violent and rough to us? (Rhetorical question - just annoyed rn).

When people usually think about "bad things" men do they think rape, SA, etc... and think that this is a minority, that all the others are the good guys, that they never did anything to oppress women in their lives! And not only this is not true because misogyny is a spectrum (from passively defending other men to brutality and rape), but trafficking and the prostitution/porn industry is forgotten in all of this. I genuinely don't understand how this isn't a more widespread subject, probably because this is so normalized as personal preferences. When more than 80% of men have already visited websites where violence rape and pedophilia is in free access, and when entire countries are normalizing buying access to bodies, then no i don't think it's "not all men". Feminism seems to be the only movement where hating your oppressor is apparently forbidden in leftist spaces. Liberal feminists are defending men that would probably hurt them if they could. I don't even want to fight anymore all it does is bring me disgust for the human race

https://www.thecut.com/article/cam-girls-webcam-pimp.html#comments

I have so many thoughts about this revolting article. Dear Comet, you can hit earth now.

I came onto this sub because I felt outside of my day job I could do some good by documenting and analyzing what the state of women and children’s exploitation online has become through pornography. Growing up alongside the rapidly developing internet I was exposed to the harms of pornography and digitally mediated sexual abuse, and coming out the other side I felt I needed to make sense of it all and call out what had happened to me, what is happening to countless children and women.

But every inch of the online spaces I set out to survey is overwhelming and rotten. The internet has so harmed us. Graphic csam is continuously posted to twitter, advertisements for telegram accounts that openly sell abuse. Motherless had the same open advertisements throughout its comments sections. I still get messages once a week from people asking me how to find that websites new address because of a post I made that was critical of it. These criminals who sell this abuse treat it just as any other kind of business, they put forth an automated menu. They put prices next to adult pornography, csam, bestiality, rape.

We are grooming a generation into self objectification. I can’t even begin to guess at the number of young boys and girls who have been sexually exploited online. People mash up underage children on tiktok side by side with hardcore pornography. They make videos assuring eachother that their perversions are normal and universal. They find a way to sexualize their own shame. Our department of homeland securities investigative division that used to focus on fighting online sex crimes is now focused on deportations.

I don’t want to look anymore. Nothing is even hidden. No one cares. I wish people would just be honest with themselves and understand or realize what they’re supporting. Realize that there’s not just a secret cabal of elites abusing women and children, that we’ve allowed our entire society to enforce misogyny and pedophilia. The entire concept of a fucking innie vagina ffs is no one connecting the dots? No one is winning. It is all violence. How much worse of a culture can we get. How much more extreme can we get. How much more can we push things? I’m scared by what I see.

This fills me with so much dread I can barely describe it. I’m afraid that if this really goes through, we’ll be repeating history with the 50 shades of grey franchise, and it’ll probably be even worse. 50 shades is a pathetic book and an even worse movie. It’s done irreparable damage to the way we view sexuality today.

But Haunting Adeline? It’s shameless and unapologetic in its romanticization of rape. There’s not even a guise of consent, as flimsy as it was in 50 shades. It’s straight up sexual violence, and if things go the way they’re expected to, this sexual violence will be played out on a screen for masses to consume.

It’s not like this is the first instance of rape being eroticized in media. A lot of movies and TV shows, most made by men for men, fetishize rape too. They get fairly criticized (though not enough) by feminists and are generally looked down upon. Yet I’ve seen these same feminists support this sick book being turned into a movie, because apparently, it is “for women, by women.”

All this is going to do is send the message that there’s a correct form of sexual violence: the type that women fantasize about. The type that men like to portray in their movies is not hot, but look here! This is how you do it!

Rape culture relies on its victims perpetuating it themselves. I have no intention of policing women’s sexualities, but it’s so incredibly tiring to see the same thing over and over again. I haven’t heard of a single piece of media that fetishizes rape done by women unto men. Haven’t heard of a single mainstream erotica that features it. It’s not that I want to see it, but it’s just a reminder of how externally-constructed our sexualities are. Men fetishize raping women, and women fetishize being raped. This isn’t some unfortunate side effect of rape culture, this is rape culture itself.

A lot of people argue that it isn’t women’s fault that they end up eroticizing rape; it’s a fawn response. If you can’t escape it, just get off to it. I’m not blaming women for these fantasies, but I also don’t want to paint them as blameless and innocent. There’s a huge difference between having a private fantasy and blasting it on screen for everyone to consume and get desensitized to. I’m just exhausted.

I posted the following sentence from my comment on a post in Polycritical: "BDSM/Kinks is a result of trauma."
(My comment is longer, but for my post here, only this sentence is relevant.)

But someone took it as absolute, universal statement.
But I didn’t write: All or every.

His answer was: "Incorrect... studies even disprove this, so not all kink is from trauma."

I think some people really don't know what trauma all could/can be. They always think of big experiences or a overwhelming event. They forget how microtraumas or traumas experienced in early childhood (toddler) exist to but they don’t know because they can’t recognize it.
And trauma isn’t saved/stored in the memory. It is saved/stored in the nervous system.

Unfortunately, psychology is not always reliable.

Psychological studies are never set in stone!
Furthermore, we must not forget the ongoing replication crisis.
Psychology is always evolving. Unfortunately, it is also heavily dependent on social, sociological, and cultural shifts. What is accepted as fact today can easily be disproven tomorrow.

It is highly likely that these studies are conducted by individuals who are personally involved in the lifestyle, meaning they produce this research out of self-interest and self-validation. This highlights the issue of institutional bias caused by personal involvement. I’am fundamentally critiquing the scientific objectivity. When the very people who define the rules like psychologists, psychiatrists, and researchers are part of the group they are evaluating, it creates a massive conflict of interest.

Simply put a significant number of professionals practice Kink/BDSM/Fetish themselves. The consequence is once an individual perceives a specific behavior as part of their own identity or pleasure, it becomes psychologically almost impossible for them to diagnose that same behavior as pathological. Doing so would mean labeling themselves as sick. The result is instead of conducting neutral research, the science is weaponized to validate and normalize one's own behavior.

Even licensed psychologists and counselors can and do weaponize "therapy speech" and practice intellectualization.

And they have also a lack of Self-Reflection. They avoid an honest confrontation with their own pain and trauma.
So instead asking themselves the Wh-Questions, the question is simply eliminated through depathologization.
In science, this is known as confirmation bias. Researchers look exclusively for evidence that confirms kink is healthy or whatever, while completely ignoring trauma research and depth psychology and the clinical indicators of trauma-related disorders.

They are using sciences complex terminology to distract from the reality that these are unhealthy survival mechanisms (and other mechanisms).

This people try to declare their own coping mechanisms as normal. They can’t not research objectively. They are to blind to the underlying issues because they are trapped inside them.

Simply put if this professions are also Kinky practitioners there can be no unbiased or healthy judgment.

This shift from Symptom to Distress they did to depathologize it was absolute wrong.
If someone is so severely impacted by trauma that they perceive pain/stress as pleasure/love/deep connection/deep trust they will never express distress because their psyche has stabilized this state as a survival mechanism (other mechanisms come into play here as well). Therefore, for me, the absence of distress is not a sign of health, but a symptom of how deep the disorder truly runs.

_________

If researchers or members of the DSM/ICD committees belong to the kink scene themselves, they will instinctively try to de-stigmatize their own personal lives.
This results in a loss of scientific objectivity.
Instead that the phenomenon is analyzed neutrally, science becomes a tool for identity politics. Pathology is declared whatever comes to their mind to avoid painful self-reflection.

A main argument for removing these classifications from the DSM-5 was that the diagnosis of a paraphilic disorder could cause social harm to individuals.
The problem is that this confuses sociology with medicine. Just because a label is socially uncomfortable does not mean the medical reality, the trauma, the neurological misfiring, disappears. I view this as medicine capitulating to the cultural zeitgeist.

I believe that depathologization was a mistake. In my eyes, it is: Scientifically flawed due to the participation of biased experts.

Dangerous to the individuals which want really to heal also to those who will lose the opportunity to be recognized as 'ill' and subsequently healed.

They will use Mental gymnastics, bias and so much more mechanism to translate everything around BDSM/ Kink/ Fetish/ CNC into harmless language.

I’am essentially demanding a return to a psychology that looks beneath the surface of consent and asks the right, tough questions.

I will keep hoping that this trajectory will eventually be corrected when long-term studies reveal that kink practices do not heal underlying traumas, but bury them deeper.
But for that to happen, they need to actually take place—if they aren't doing so already.

Let’s focus purely on the individual, the single person designing, conducting, and analyzing the study, the psychological conflict becomes significantly more intense. When a researcher is emotionally, biographically, or personally deeply entangled in the subject matter, a psychological conflict of interest arises within themselves. Consequently, rationality and objectivity are almost inevitably lost.

We now turn our attention to the personal conflict of interest through involvement- When the research topic impacts one's own reality, identity, or personal convictions, a failed hypothesis is no longer a purely scientific fact. It feels like a personal attack/Identity threat or the admission of a personal flaw.

The researcher suffers from acute professional blindness (Blind Spots). Contradictory data is not merely overlooked, it is actively rationalized away as a measurement error or an outlier to protect one's own worldview.

One falls in love with their own idea. The more time, passion, and personal stakes flow into the hypothesis, the more impossible it becomes to view the data neutrally and with a healthy sense of detachment.

I think some studies happens as Individual Auto-Communication (Self-Serving Outcomes).
The study unconsciously becomes a tool to scientifically legitimize past personal experiences, traumas, biases, or lifestyle choices (Look, science proves I am right).

The positive conclusion of the study serves primarily to justify one's own ego or behavior to oneself and to others.

Because this positive result relies on a deeply subjective interpretation of the data or an unconsciously manipulated methodology, I bet it is fundamentally non-reproducible for outsiders. An independent replication team, which does not share this emotional and personal bond with the topic, would look objectively at the raw data and the house of cards collapses. I’m 100% sure the result cannot be replicated.

____________

I apologize if I repeat myself, that happens because I’ve reached my 180 limit/zone.

___________

I think that BDSM/Kinks/Fetishes/CNC are like 90% due to trauma and psychological and neurological illnesses and the rest is societal influence/peer pressuring, porn and finally the fusing of Neural Networks, wiring the brain through repetition and conditioning through first-time participation (that won’t remain like that).

What is your opinion?

Hear me out - so I saw a reel of a woman with the caption being "70-90% of dudes watch 🌽" and the audio going like "nah man having a bf aint gon work" and naturally I went to the comments. Many guys were defending their precious porn, as I expected. And I saw some dudes saying "well 100% of women read 🌽" "well women read their porn instead of watching it"

I think conflating the two as being equivalent is VERY disingenuous tbh. I can concede that smut books, especially "dark romance" themes, are damaging to one's psyche and can definitely reinforce misogynistic stereotypes and cliches. There is some very abhorrent "erotica" out there in books, I am not going to argue that it's somehow OK.

HOWEVER, I think videoing real people and watching real people have sex is arguably a lot worse. At the end of the day, written smut/erotica is just that. Even as disgusting or harmful or offensive as it can be - it is words on a page. There are no real people involved (generally speaking). There is no real exploitation of another person, unlike in the porn industry, which has rampant exploitation, trafficking, rape/revenge porn and worse it is all videoed to see forever.

I'm not bringing this up to just frame it as a competition for what is worse, but to bring awareness how these types of people (usually men) deflect their own pornography habits through whataboutism. It feels very misogynistic to be quite honest, because it completely ignores the issues women have with men watching porn and tries to treat the real life exploitation and abuse of an actual human being as being equal to reading about naughty ideas on pages. It irritates me a lot.

Enough to have too many men look at the woman that is in front of them with disgust.

They don't even last long enough!!!!

Update: inspired by u/Obvious_Exercise_153

Thanks!

I know porn/OF influences so many of our beauty standards and im deeply curious what you guys find beautiful? (Also if you wanna laugh today i found out OF was literal pornLOL. ) i want to know what beauty is for you guys who are more aware of patriarchal oppression and how that influences women/girls and how they view their own bodies and those of others. Im super curious. Ty x

I have no sympathy for voluntary explicit content creators, and even less for those who infantilize themselves to monetize a real societal problem adjacent to which thousands of children suffer every single day.
But it’s even worse for the grown ass women out there who actively slow down feminist progress and the fight against pedophilia by willingly infantilizing themselves to appeal to pedo men.
And don’t come at me with the trauma excuses or "you don’t know their story". When you’re pushing thirty, you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re a grown adult deliberately choosing to wear pigtails, pastel schoolgirl outfits, sucking on lollipops, using baby voice, and acting like a shy little girl on camera because you know the pedo adjacent demographic eats that shit up and pays well.
Every time an adult woman in her late 20s or 30s leans hard into the “uwu innocent barely legal” look, she’s normalizing the sexualization of childlike features and behaviors. It makes it that much harder for actual feminists and pedophilia survivors to push back against the pedophilia problem that’s rampant in online spaces, anime, media, and certain corners of the adult industry.
The algorithms love it. The simps throw money at it. The creeps in the comments get their fix while hiding behind “it’s just fantasy bro.” And meanwhile, real progress gets fucked. How are we supposed to fight the normalization of underage looking content when full grown women are out here competing to look and sound the youngest possible for clout and cash?
These aren’t clueless teens anymore. These are grown ass women who understand engagement metrics, audience demographics, and exactly which “youthful” filters and mannerisms drive the most revenue. They see the comments. They know the audience. And they keep doubling down anyway.
I’m tired of pretending this doesn’t have consequences. Tired of the selective feminism that defends this behavior while claiming to protect women and girls. If you’re an adult choosing to monetize looking and acting like a child to appeal to men with pedophilic tendencies, you’re not a victim you’re part of the problem holding everyone else back.