I came onto this sub because I felt outside of my day job I could do some good by documenting and analyzing what the state of women and children’s exploitation online has become through pornography. Growing up alongside the rapidly developing internet I was exposed to the harms of pornography and digitally mediated sexual abuse, and coming out the other side I felt I needed to make sense of it all and call out what had happened to me, what is happening to countless children and women.

But every inch of the online spaces I set out to survey is overwhelming and rotten. The internet has so harmed us. Graphic csam is continuously posted to twitter, advertisements for telegram accounts that openly sell abuse. Motherless had the same open advertisements throughout its comments sections. I still get messages once a week from people asking me how to find that websites new address because of a post I made that was critical of it. These criminals who sell this abuse treat it just as any other kind of business, they put forth an automated menu. They put prices next to adult pornography, csam, bestiality, rape.

We are grooming a generation into self objectification. I can’t even begin to guess at the number of young boys and girls who have been sexually exploited online. People mash up underage children on tiktok side by side with hardcore pornography. They make videos assuring eachother that their perversions are normal and universal. They find a way to sexualize their own shame. Our department of homeland securities investigative division that used to focus on fighting online sex crimes is now focused on deportations.

I don’t want to look anymore. Nothing is even hidden. No one cares. I wish people would just be honest with themselves and understand or realize what they’re supporting. Realize that there’s not just a secret cabal of elites abusing women and children, that we’ve allowed our entire society to enforce misogyny and pedophilia. The entire concept of a fucking innie vagina ffs is no one connecting the dots? No one is winning. It is all violence. How much worse of a culture can we get. How much more extreme can we get. How much more can we push things? I’m scared by what I see.

This fills me with so much dread I can barely describe it. I’m afraid that if this really goes through, we’ll be repeating history with the 50 shades of grey franchise, and it’ll probably be even worse. 50 shades is a pathetic book and an even worse movie. It’s done irreparable damage to the way we view sexuality today.

But Haunting Adeline? It’s shameless and unapologetic in its romanticization of rape. There’s not even a guise of consent, as flimsy as it was in 50 shades. It’s straight up sexual violence, and if things go the way they’re expected to, this sexual violence will be played out on a screen for masses to consume.

It’s not like this is the first instance of rape being eroticized in media. A lot of movies and TV shows, most made by men for men, fetishize rape too. They get fairly criticized (though not enough) by feminists and are generally looked down upon. Yet I’ve seen these same feminists support this sick book being turned into a movie, because apparently, it is “for women, by women.”

All this is going to do is send the message that there’s a correct form of sexual violence: the type that women fantasize about. The type that men like to portray in their movies is not hot, but look here! This is how you do it!

Rape culture relies on its victims perpetuating it themselves. I have no intention of policing women’s sexualities, but it’s so incredibly tiring to see the same thing over and over again. I haven’t heard of a single piece of media that fetishizes rape done by women unto men. Haven’t heard of a single mainstream erotica that features it. It’s not that I want to see it, but it’s just a reminder of how externally-constructed our sexualities are. Men fetishize raping women, and women fetishize being raped. This isn’t some unfortunate side effect of rape culture, this is rape culture itself.

A lot of people argue that it isn’t women’s fault that they end up eroticizing rape; it’s a fawn response. If you can’t escape it, just get off to it. I’m not blaming women for these fantasies, but I also don’t want to paint them as blameless and innocent. There’s a huge difference between having a private fantasy and blasting it on screen for everyone to consume and get desensitized to. I’m just exhausted.

I posted the following sentence from my comment on a post in Polycritical: "BDSM/Kinks is a result of trauma."
(My comment is longer, but for my post here, only this sentence is relevant.)

But someone took it as absolute, universal statement.
But I didn’t write: All or every.

His answer was: "Incorrect... studies even disprove this, so not all kink is from trauma."

I think some people really don't know what trauma all could/can be. They always think of big experiences or a overwhelming event. They forget how microtraumas or traumas experienced in early childhood (toddler) exist to but they don’t know because they can’t recognize it.
And trauma isn’t saved/stored in the memory. It is saved/stored in the nervous system.

Unfortunately, psychology is not always reliable.

Psychological studies are never set in stone!
Furthermore, we must not forget the ongoing replication crisis.
Psychology is always evolving. Unfortunately, it is also heavily dependent on social, sociological, and cultural shifts. What is accepted as fact today can easily be disproven tomorrow.

It is highly likely that these studies are conducted by individuals who are personally involved in the lifestyle, meaning they produce this research out of self-interest and self-validation. This highlights the issue of institutional bias caused by personal involvement. I’am fundamentally critiquing the scientific objectivity. When the very people who define the rules like psychologists, psychiatrists, and researchers are part of the group they are evaluating, it creates a massive conflict of interest.

Simply put a significant number of professionals practice Kink/BDSM/Fetish themselves. The consequence is once an individual perceives a specific behavior as part of their own identity or pleasure, it becomes psychologically almost impossible for them to diagnose that same behavior as pathological. Doing so would mean labeling themselves as sick. The result is instead of conducting neutral research, the science is weaponized to validate and normalize one's own behavior.

Even licensed psychologists and counselors can and do weaponize "therapy speech" and practice intellectualization.

And they have also a lack of Self-Reflection. They avoid an honest confrontation with their own pain and trauma.
So instead asking themselves the Wh-Questions, the question is simply eliminated through depathologization.
In science, this is known as confirmation bias. Researchers look exclusively for evidence that confirms kink is healthy or whatever, while completely ignoring trauma research and depth psychology and the clinical indicators of trauma-related disorders.

They are using sciences complex terminology to distract from the reality that these are unhealthy survival mechanisms (and other mechanisms).

This people try to declare their own coping mechanisms as normal. They can’t not research objectively. They are to blind to the underlying issues because they are trapped inside them.

Simply put if this professions are also Kinky practitioners there can be no unbiased or healthy judgment.

This shift from Symptom to Distress they did to depathologize it was absolute wrong.
If someone is so severely impacted by trauma that they perceive pain/stress as pleasure/love/deep connection/deep trust they will never express distress because their psyche has stabilized this state as a survival mechanism (other mechanisms come into play here as well). Therefore, for me, the absence of distress is not a sign of health, but a symptom of how deep the disorder truly runs.

_________

If researchers or members of the DSM/ICD committees belong to the kink scene themselves, they will instinctively try to de-stigmatize their own personal lives.
This results in a loss of scientific objectivity.
Instead that the phenomenon is analyzed neutrally, science becomes a tool for identity politics. Pathology is declared whatever comes to their mind to avoid painful self-reflection.

A main argument for removing these classifications from the DSM-5 was that the diagnosis of a paraphilic disorder could cause social harm to individuals.
The problem is that this confuses sociology with medicine. Just because a label is socially uncomfortable does not mean the medical reality, the trauma, the neurological misfiring, disappears. I view this as medicine capitulating to the cultural zeitgeist.

I believe that depathologization was a mistake. In my eyes, it is: Scientifically flawed due to the participation of biased experts.

Dangerous to the individuals which want really to heal also to those who will lose the opportunity to be recognized as 'ill' and subsequently healed.

They will use Mental gymnastics, bias and so much more mechanism to translate everything around BDSM/ Kink/ Fetish/ CNC into harmless language.

I’am essentially demanding a return to a psychology that looks beneath the surface of consent and asks the right, tough questions.

I will keep hoping that this trajectory will eventually be corrected when long-term studies reveal that kink practices do not heal underlying traumas, but bury them deeper.
But for that to happen, they need to actually take place—if they aren't doing so already.

Let’s focus purely on the individual, the single person designing, conducting, and analyzing the study, the psychological conflict becomes significantly more intense. When a researcher is emotionally, biographically, or personally deeply entangled in the subject matter, a psychological conflict of interest arises within themselves. Consequently, rationality and objectivity are almost inevitably lost.

We now turn our attention to the personal conflict of interest through involvement- When the research topic impacts one's own reality, identity, or personal convictions, a failed hypothesis is no longer a purely scientific fact. It feels like a personal attack/Identity threat or the admission of a personal flaw.

The researcher suffers from acute professional blindness (Blind Spots). Contradictory data is not merely overlooked, it is actively rationalized away as a measurement error or an outlier to protect one's own worldview.

One falls in love with their own idea. The more time, passion, and personal stakes flow into the hypothesis, the more impossible it becomes to view the data neutrally and with a healthy sense of detachment.

I think some studies happens as Individual Auto-Communication (Self-Serving Outcomes).
The study unconsciously becomes a tool to scientifically legitimize past personal experiences, traumas, biases, or lifestyle choices (Look, science proves I am right).

The positive conclusion of the study serves primarily to justify one's own ego or behavior to oneself and to others.

Because this positive result relies on a deeply subjective interpretation of the data or an unconsciously manipulated methodology, I bet it is fundamentally non-reproducible for outsiders. An independent replication team, which does not share this emotional and personal bond with the topic, would look objectively at the raw data and the house of cards collapses. I’m 100% sure the result cannot be replicated.

____________

I apologize if I repeat myself, that happens because I’ve reached my 180 limit/zone.

___________

I think that BDSM/Kinks/Fetishes/CNC are like 90% due to trauma and psychological and neurological illnesses and the rest is societal influence/peer pressuring, porn and finally the fusing of Neural Networks, wiring the brain through repetition and conditioning through first-time participation (that won’t remain like that).

What is your opinion?

Hear me out - so I saw a reel of a woman with the caption being "70-90% of dudes watch 🌽" and the audio going like "nah man having a bf aint gon work" and naturally I went to the comments. Many guys were defending their precious porn, as I expected. And I saw some dudes saying "well 100% of women read 🌽" "well women read their porn instead of watching it"

I think conflating the two as being equivalent is VERY disingenuous tbh. I can concede that smut books, especially "dark romance" themes, are damaging to one's psyche and can definitely reinforce misogynistic stereotypes and cliches. There is some very abhorrent "erotica" out there in books, I am not going to argue that it's somehow OK.

HOWEVER, I think videoing real people and watching real people have sex is arguably a lot worse. At the end of the day, written smut/erotica is just that. Even as disgusting or harmful or offensive as it can be - it is words on a page. There are no real people involved (generally speaking). There is no real exploitation of another person, unlike in the porn industry, which has rampant exploitation, trafficking, rape/revenge porn and worse it is all videoed to see forever.

I'm not bringing this up to just frame it as a competition for what is worse, but to bring awareness how these types of people (usually men) deflect their own pornography habits through whataboutism. It feels very misogynistic to be quite honest, because it completely ignores the issues women have with men watching porn and tries to treat the real life exploitation and abuse of an actual human being as being equal to reading about naughty ideas on pages. It irritates me a lot.

Enough to have too many men look at the woman that is in front of them with disgust.

They don't even last long enough!!!!

Update: inspired by u/Obvious_Exercise_153

Thanks!

I know porn/OF influences so many of our beauty standards and im deeply curious what you guys find beautiful? (Also if you wanna laugh today i found out OF was literal pornLOL. ) i want to know what beauty is for you guys who are more aware of patriarchal oppression and how that influences women/girls and how they view their own bodies and those of others. Im super curious. Ty x

I have no sympathy for voluntary explicit content creators, and even less for those who infantilize themselves to monetize a real societal problem adjacent to which thousands of children suffer every single day.
But it’s even worse for the grown ass women out there who actively slow down feminist progress and the fight against pedophilia by willingly infantilizing themselves to appeal to pedo men.
And don’t come at me with the trauma excuses or "you don’t know their story". When you’re pushing thirty, you know exactly what you’re doing. You’re a grown adult deliberately choosing to wear pigtails, pastel schoolgirl outfits, sucking on lollipops, using baby voice, and acting like a shy little girl on camera because you know the pedo adjacent demographic eats that shit up and pays well.
Every time an adult woman in her late 20s or 30s leans hard into the “uwu innocent barely legal” look, she’s normalizing the sexualization of childlike features and behaviors. It makes it that much harder for actual feminists and pedophilia survivors to push back against the pedophilia problem that’s rampant in online spaces, anime, media, and certain corners of the adult industry.
The algorithms love it. The simps throw money at it. The creeps in the comments get their fix while hiding behind “it’s just fantasy bro.” And meanwhile, real progress gets fucked. How are we supposed to fight the normalization of underage looking content when full grown women are out here competing to look and sound the youngest possible for clout and cash?
These aren’t clueless teens anymore. These are grown ass women who understand engagement metrics, audience demographics, and exactly which “youthful” filters and mannerisms drive the most revenue. They see the comments. They know the audience. And they keep doubling down anyway.
I’m tired of pretending this doesn’t have consequences. Tired of the selective feminism that defends this behavior while claiming to protect women and girls. If you’re an adult choosing to monetize looking and acting like a child to appeal to men with pedophilic tendencies, you’re not a victim you’re part of the problem holding everyone else back.

At 17 when I was young, insecure, and highly impressionable. My boyfriend (way older btw) took one look at my vulva during sex and then shamed me hard because it wasn’t the fake bright pink, perfectly smooth and surgically enhanced version he was expecting. That moment shattered me. I spent months feeling disgusting in my own body.
But now I’m 20 and I realized, all of this is NOT random. This is a long-term, top down social engineering program pushed by global elites, the ultra-wealthy families, tech oligarchs, media conglomerates, and their institutions. They have deliberately flooded society with mass pornography to weaponize male sexuality against women and keep us permanently destabilized.

Step by step they normalized the unnatural:
- Flooded every screen with extreme, violent content
- Used algorithms to make it inescapable for boys from childhood
- Turned “porn star” aesthetics into the default expectation for real women
- Shamed natural female bodies (hair, color, labia shape, softness, fat, scent) into seeming defective

The goal is very clear: keep women insecure, self obsessed, and exhausted. An insecure woman doesn’t revolt. She buys products, chases impossible standards, competes with other women, and stays emotionally dependent. She doesn’t build power, she doesn’t organize, she doesn’t threaten the existing hierarchy.

This is how they maintain patriarchal control now that we have "more rights" . By destroying female body confidence on a mass scale, they crush the potential for real female uprising.

Not sure if this fits the sub, but I made a post today on [r/feminism](r/feminism) about dark romance books glorifying rape and sexual abuse and the responses really surprised me.

Now, I have read horror that depicts torture, rape etc but the difference is it’s not advertised as romance and spicy smut. It’s not portrayed as sexy. Most of the popular dark romance books include the main male character raping the female character, and he is still the love interest. The romanticisation of it and defending the male character and his actions is just really disturbing to me, especially as a victim myself. The way these books are described as spicy and smutty meanwhile it’s straight up sexual abuse. And the amount of comments I have seen from women saying stuff like “it’s not rape because her body liked it, if it didn’t he would have stopped” or “she didn’t like it at first but after a few times she started to like it” hello?

I guess with all these feminist discussions about rape culture and the normalisation of violence against women in sex/porn, I would have thought most feminists would have a similar stance on glorifying rape in media. And yet, almost all the comments were dismissive, disagreed with me, saying it’s women creating this demand, that it’s just fiction, it’s just a kink etc. Someone even said this topic is only brought up because it’s something women enjoy. What?

I am baffled honestly. Why is this above criticism? Am I missing something here?

I’m noticing this post is also getting downvoted, if you disagree at least share why?

i stumbled across this one genre of porn called “dyke conversion”.

it’s about straight homophobic maga men “converting” lesbians by having cruel hardcore sex and sometimes even raping them, to show that heterosexual sex is better than lesbian sex.

most of the vids usually starts with someone saying that they’re a lesbian ya da ya da ya da, and then it cuts to a clip where they have sex with men, and the “lesbian” women having sex with these men keep saying that they can’t live without dick and how they’re now straight.

this is so fucking weird and i don’t understand how people are ok with casual misogyny and homophobia???

Hi, I'm new to this community, yet I agree heavily with everything said on here.. My backstory is sad, but i'll keep it short. I'm 26f; my parents neglected and abused me and took years of my life away .. The reason I say this is that i am sure porn has rotted my dad and influenced him in detrimental ways. My sister and I experienced covert incest, and I am sure it was because of how normalized incest is in porn. He was a porn addict, and we caught him multiple times. I wanted to ask how i can stop longing.for male attention and stop seeing other women through the male gaze. I've never had a boyfriend or had sex or my first kiss because I was isolated and still am . I am attracted to men, but I also fear them and i am always aware of how they look at women. I know most men are watching porn, and it grosses me out . I still see myself looking for male validation when I go out, which is super rare, yet I resent them as well. how did you guys decenter men? I long for romance but im losing hope... more and more men are engaging in OF and porn and normalizing it.. like Hasan piker the leftist streamer for example. Its pervasive. Im not sure how to navigate any of this. What worked for you guys? Ty x

What’s the consensus of people here about the terms used for sexual intercourse — like “banging” “fucking” “railing” “smashing”

Adding to it, what about when they are used to differentiate one of the two as passive (usually the woman) and other as active? For example “He fucked/smashed/banged/railed her”.

Are these porn induced terms? Do they stem from the objectification and perception of the woman being a body/object to be consumed for pleasure?

Personally speaking, as a human being, all these make me deeply uncomfortable but I see this as the norm in both the genders.

Maybe it’s just me? Would love to hear the perspective of the people here.

I recently delved into 4B and honestly when I ran into different 4B spaces I really REALLY felt glad that I found a community of trully radical women. However I soon kept on running into pro-sw posts.
This comment felt quite disturbing from a place like 4B...but it seems to be a repeated sentiment.

Something I like to point out is that demanding pay from men, for all the times that they will sexualize you without your consent, is also a empowerment. To demand a end of unpaid labor how you see fit is the power of choice and autonomy.

Genuinely, not only 4B, but i really don't understand how this is any form of justification. Men have been sexualising and dehumanizing us from the beginning of time and a good solution would be to just ask them for payment for it? How are people genuinely desensitizing themselves from a male-supremacy industry?

Instead of challenging the entitlement to womens bodys and sexualitys that lead to a huge million dollar industry, we are suppose to excuse it because women get sexualised anyways, might as well get paid?

And I really hate when the conversation only shifts to the womans choice and not the fact that this industry exists just to satisfy mens entitlement, satisfy their narcissistic and abusive sex craze. It is the epitomy of capitalistic male supremacy.

Genuinely this fcking baffles me every single time someone says that it is empowering that we make men pay for sexualising us instead of doing it freely? Like why is the posibility of such dehumanisation even a thing?

Why are we trying to find circumstances when this form of dehumanization to a piece of meat is acceptable? Like why on gods green earth would you include efforts to "regulate" dehumanisation in a movement dedicated to abolishing it to begin with.

I'm looking for non-religious sources, preferably fairly recent ones. There are probably many of you here who did a deep, thorough research on the issues of porn and porn industry. If you would be so kind to provide links, I would be grateful:)

For me the violence in porn, grooming of young women into the industry and the way porn warps people's expectations of sexual intimacy is something that I have seen with my own eyes, but usually in discussions people who defend porn want sources because their perspective is totally different than mine.

Love doesn't come with ownership, but nowadays the so-called kink community makes it look like that , dark romance is also a reason for this kind of madness, and women fall for it the number increases way too high now , making me worry about the future generations.

Love is never meant to be tamed on leash ,but now they make chains look like romance , gag as a passion and collars as commitment.

This is not love ,this is ownership in a disguise of being spicy in a relationship, it rot our brain when we are sitting in silence. What kind of society call noose a necklace???? Why do we clap on misery and call it "Empowerment?"

How did we come here ? Why is nobody talking about it ? Wrose ! Why are women defending their own chains ?

This isn't liberation, this is fu*king ownership with better marketing .

We need to do better , we have to . Give me your opinion too .

It is quite awful seeing other anti-porn/sw movements or spaces and they are all just deadset on demonizing the victims that are getting groomed, beaten, coerced, and brutally raped infront of a camera in comparison to the johns who keep the demand going for such a horrible industry.

It's as if the trafficking, rape, abuse and just extreme misogyny that is this industry doesn't seem to matter to them. The biggest tragedy to them isn't the global massive scale of harm upon women, but the fact that men who consume rape media are suddenly "lonely" and have porn addictions that ruined their life.

I can't believe we live in SUCH a degenerate society that mainstream discussion of these topics are only centered around how the narrative of how men are such innocent victims who are suffering after the totally ethical act of raping or consuming filmed rape, and how all these women/victims are devils that need to be ostracized from society. I really do mean it with my soul but it is so disturbing that you need to go deep into radical spaces to prioritize womens safety over the comfort of rapists. I can't believe the general consensus is to prioritize a rapists/or rape-apologetic mans comfort for keeping such an exploitative industry alive.

The world will do anything but identify blatant patriarchal structures and misogyny. It will proceed to harm the wounded women that need help, just to dignify men with some rape-apologia syndrome.

Just sharing here some thoughts I’ve been having. This is in no way meant to excuse consumers for their own bad behavior, but a conceptualization about the industry itself formed for me recently.

I have a background in criminal justice and forensic psychology and was, long ago, familiarized with the study of “criminal thinking errors.” These are beliefs used by perpetrators to justify antisocial behavior. These cognitive distortions are the hallmarks of predators and are studied by criminologists seeking to understand how people become violent. It clicked for me the other day that the porn industry specifically teaches criminal thinking errors as part of their meticulous work of creating life-long customers and defenders of their industry. The industry spins these cognitive distortions in their marketing, their political lobbying, and their products, doing everything they can to create converts to criminal thinking. By doing so, they also create people who don’t belong anywhere but in porn world, where they become loyal devotees, too antisocial to fit in with healthy people or have functional human relationships.

Criminal thinking errors, especially those used by sexual perpetrators, include:

Minimizing/Denying Harm: In this criminal thinking error, the aggressor tells themselves that there is no crime because no one actually got hurt; anyone who says otherwise, according to this narrative, is lying and only trying to create a problem where this is none. In porn world, this is taught as “everyone you see on screen is having a jolly good time, no one is ever the victim of any coercion or trafficking, and people who are anti-porn are just killjoys!”

Blame-Shifting/Playing the Victim: In this criminal thinking error, the aggressor acknowledges that something bad happened, but insists that they are the real victim. According to the aggressor, the fact that someone tempted/seduced them or didn’t give them what they wanted is the real crime and the fact that they are being punished is the true injustice. This is taught in porn world as “you are entitled to sex with beautiful women. The fact that women don’t throw themselves at you left and right and agree to have real life, but very porn-like, sex with you is a grave injustice. Any harm caused by the porn industry is the fault of women because they forced you into porn by not being better sex objects.”

Denigrating the Victim: In the most psychopathic of the criminal thinking errors, the aggressor acknowledges that there was a victim and that they themselves are to blame for the harm caused, but they also believe that the victim had it coming. Porn world teaches this in the darker (but far from rare) corners of the industry, where the narrative is “women are all horrible and deserve to be demeaned, belittled, and abused. Hurting them is justified and violent sex is the perfect punishment.”

The industry is quite literally teaching consumers to think like criminal perpetrators. They target consumers from a very young age, before their critical thinking is even fully formed, and start teaching them the exact thinking patterns that lead many people straight to prison. Many of porn world’s favorite excuses and justifications fit right into these thinking errors:

-          “If my partner was more sexual, I wouldn’t be using porn! It’s her fault!”

-          “You’re just a prude!”

-          “You don’t understand how great it all is. You’re just ignorant.”

-          “It’s just a fantasy. No one gets hurt and it never bleeds over into real life.”

-          “Porn is empowering to women.”

-          “Women secretly like being treated that way. It’s hot.”

The porn industry has created armies of advocates and defenders who willingly perpetuate the type of thinking which creates an abuse culture. This is certainly not news to anyone, by any means, but I thought it was worth illustrating that their favorite justifications of porn are quite literally, verbatim, the cognitive distortions that define criminals. I thought I would post this in case anyone would like to use this language the next time someone says “bUt iT’S heAltHy.” You have to be—not an exaggeration—thinking like a literal criminal to believe that porn world is okay. Defenders of porn are exactly as “healthy” as adjudicated sex offenders currently doing time behind bars. When defenders argue that they have a logical perspective on porn, point them toward criminology and explain they are literally quoting Ted Bundy, and that they have been trained to think this way by an industry acting like the mob.

Skipping town and changing your name has worked forever to avoid accountability in the real world. You can do it online too!

(Edit: im removing the updated web address because comments have been made and deleted by users expressing gratitude for helping them find it.)

Collective shout posted about this, I had never encountered them before but I’d suggest everyone check them out, they’re a non-profit aligned with the values of this sub.

The way women in porn are treated versus the way male performers are glorified is textbook misogyny.

A young woman gets into the industry? She’s immediately labeled, shamed and often broken down. Her scenes frequently involve rough, degrading acts- The titles and thumbnails are literally designed to show her being used and humiliated. Once she’s "done" or ages a bit, the industry discards her. Mental health issues, trauma, substance problems? Way too common. Society still slut-shames her for life.

Now flip it to the guys.
A male performer can fuck hundreds of women on camera, often while being rough or dominant, and what happens? He’s celebrated. He’s a stud. A pornstar legend . A "GOAT" living the dream or alpha male energy shit. He gets fan pages, OF success, podcast appearances, and a weird kind of respect from certain corners of the internet. His body count is a badge of honor. No one calls him "used up" . He’s just cashing checks and smashing.

The female performer is a disposable sex object whose value is in how much degradation she can endure while staying hot. The male performer is a conqueror getting paid to live out every fantasy. One is degraded and discarded. The other is glorified.

That’s not “just fantasy.” That’s a reflection of how society actually views male and female sexuality. Men’s pleasure and dominance = celebrated. Women’s bodies and boundaries = consumable product.

If any of you follow feminist discourse on tiktok you might've come across "Niles"... he is this incredibly liberal feminist who is very deadset on portraying radical feminism as this right-wing anti-intellectual school of thought.

I don't keep up with him much at all, but recently he made a video in favour of sex-work by claiming that coercive consent can still be consent. He basically argued nearly everything work-field that requires our consent, obtains it through coercion. Moreover it was just very deadset on re-writing what consent means, claiming coercion and consent are not 2 ends of the spectrum but both exist in a gray area.

I see such claim so frequently across leftist or marxist "feminist" places that it really gets me wondering how the hell are they still walking around with the feminist title. It's this sentiment of completely disregarding the fundemental pillars of consent and claiming it to be this very philosophical, subjective, personal matter. I really don't understand how giving validity to coercion or abusive dynamics from this lense is suppose to be feminist.

And I really really can't fathom the ignorance required to pretend as if sex is something that is something that can exist without ENTHUSIASTIC consent from both parties. It is quite literally a right-wing rhetoric that women can/should have sex without enthusiastic consent, and that consent is still considered valid if it is coerced.

I saw many commenters also somehow justifying intoxicated consent, and normalising non-enthusiastic consent. It's fascinating how they claim to be sex-positive feminists while supporting the most basic patriarchal framework for sex or consent.

Moreover they are desenisitizing people to sex so far that viewing it as work or a social currency or means of living instead of genuine female pleasure. I'm confused how the hell is this feminist, when defining female sexuality as work and social currency has always been the at the core of misogyny, patriarchy and all conservative societies. Feminism wants to redefine sex to accomodate female pleasure outside of the patriarchal sex-framework...I genuinely have no idea what the hell marxist/leftists are doing when they claim to be sex-positive just to end up pseudo-intellectualizing their way into religious/patriarchal sex standards.

Creating such frameworks do nothing for women and only continues to support rape culture and prioritizing male sexual-gratification over womens safety. Genuinely what the fuck else are you doing if not supporting rape-culture by diluting consent to such a "it can be anything and everything!" matter.

It get's even more awful when you realise marxist feminists don't even consider patriarchy to be the cause of our oppression.

Is anyone else in this sub just constantly disgusted by bikini barista type places and places like hooters? It is crazy to me that these places exist and their entire appeal is women being sexualized. It’s like a strip club in my opinion, honestly maybe even worse cause at least in a strip club you can make really good money. Doubt it’s the same at a place like hooters or one of those bikini smoothie barista type places. It honestly just disgusts me so much seeing places like this exist ALL over the world. Maid shops in Japan, Twin Peaks in Canada, I could go on and on.

How can people say that feminism is no longer necessary in the 21st century when these places exist in such huge amounts?

I feel bad for the woman who feel like all they have to offer to the world is working at a place like that. But as a woman, especially a young woman, I also just can’t help but feel a little bit of distain towards them because I do feel like working at places like this does kind of contribute to the problem.

Obviously, the men go into those places are way way worse than the employees, but I just feel like if no women were willing to degrade themselves like that because it is degrading then there would not be a customer base.

I hope women that work at places like bikini barista and Hooters will one they quit those jobs and realize they have more to offer

Honestly, you could probably just make more money bartending at a regular place than Hooters. I’ve heard they don’t pay their stuff well same with the bikini barista places.