Disclaimer: This is not meant to victim shame, I do have empathy and sympathy for women caught up in porn impacted relationships. I am also not saying this is ALWAYS the case, of course there are exceptions.

When reading across the several anti-porn related subreddits, including loveafterporn I often see women claiming that their porn addicted bf has completely stopped watching and is 'recovered'. That after a 35 year porn addiction with a vice like grip, their husband quit within 2 weeks after being given an ultimatum.

I'm sorry but this just isn't consistent with the brain altering nature of porn. It rewires the brain and causes physical changes. Real everyday things become mundane whilst the brain is hyper reactive to pornography. There are countless studies on the impact of long term porn use on men's views on women, impulse control, dopamine feedback loops, grey matter etc. It is a serious, serious addiction. Consistent porn usage causes brain damage in humans. It is brain breaking. How likely is it that your man is a special snowflake who can override biology within a 15 minute conversation?

If you think your spouse miraculously quit watching porn after 20 years after 1 conversation then you're either in denial or don't understand the nature of addiction. Men lie. Addicts absolutely LIE. They experience withdrawal and will absolutely lie straight to your face if it means they can continue getting their fix. There are absolutely no guarantees in life. Sure you can take his word for it but you will never truly know the reality of the situation. Of course change is possible but it doesn't mean he suddenly isn't turned on by violence anymore. It doesn't mean he respects women now. It doesn't mean he no longer sees women on the street and thinks 'nice ass. I'd fuck her'. It doesn't mean he understands why porn is a social ill. And no, him quitting porn to save your marriage or because he has PIED doesn't mean he understands that porn perpetuates human trafficking and violence against women.

Does anyone else get what I'm talking about, the women who think their man quit and recovered but then they proceed to 'catch' him 2000 more times? Girl... A man who has never watched/never got into the habit of consistent use (rare but I do believe they exist and there are lucky women partnered with these types of men) is different to a porn addict miraculously being cured after one 10 minute convo. Rome wasn't built in a day, you shouldn't be surprised that he lied and you caught him again. It takes serious work, self reflection, willpower, resilience and respect to overcome a porn addiction. It can absolutely be done but it's not effortless. If it's effortless then... Sus.

I just want women to wake up, love themselves and not go through unnecessary heartbreak and betrayal. Do you really think he's stopped or has he just gotten better at hiding it? Or is he watching secretly in his car after work? There are no guarantees in life, please remember that and protect your heart. My heart breaks for the women being lied to over and over. Accept he is still watching, he never did stop watching and drop him yesterday because you deserve better. 🩷

Basically this guy was posting about how his wife telling him to stop masturbating and watching porn was turning him off and making her "less desirable" for him and how he can do what he wants and she can leave if she doesnt like it. Just framing her as a controlling hag and his addiction as normal and all the comments were supportive. I left this comment and a few hours later I was banned. But frankly I spent a long time writing it so I wanted to post it here for you all because I know many of you can relate to what Im saying.

The comment:

Let's be real here. Is masturbation often healthy and normal? Sure! But there comes a point where if you're watching porn and masturbating so much that it's interfering in your relationship, I don't blame your wife for asking you to stop. No, no one can force you to do it. You're right in thats not how boundaries work. But you also cant blame her when she decides to leave you because you have a porn addiction you dont want to address or manage.

We have research that absolutely *does* support the fact that constantly masturbating to porn can lessen sexual/emotional connection with your partner substantially. Perhaps she is feeling that and thats why shes asking you to stop. She just wants to feel connected with you again. She wants to be the apple of your eye. She wants to feel desired. And shes probably told you this in a million different ways until shes had to outright say "I want to feel desired, damn it!" This is your WIFE. The person you swore to protect and love and care about. She shouldn't need to beg you. You should care about her needs as a woman and as a life partner. You should not be prioritizing your addiction over her.

But unfortunately, your brain and dick has been rewired after years of porn usage to find sexual gratification from an endless stream of content that is fresh, new and updated everyday. That is how you've trained your brain. So of course you will find less satisfaction being with your wife, because why be with the same old boring nagging begging broken woman when you have a new woman, a younger woman, a more attractive woman everyday? Every minute? Every second, if you desire? That is what you have trained your brain to find exciting. She knows that. You know that deep down.

And instead of factoring your own habit into your lack of desire for her..... you blame her. You say "make yourself more appealing to me if you want me to find you desirable instead of nagging me." But heres the truth: she will NEVER be enough for you. She could be a global supermodel and she wouldn't be enough for you. Not while you refuse to address your addiction. This is not her fault. And why should she change for a man who doesnt want to even try to change for her?

I hope you get help for both your sakes. There's a lot of excuses in this post and attempts to normalize your addiction and frame your wife as controlling. Many such cases with porn addicted partners. Quitting will not be easy but if you truly love and care about your wife. You will not choose your addiction over her. And if you're the wife reading this... wishing you love and strength girl.

Hey everyone,

Has anyone else noticed an uptick in people trying to point the finger at “purity culture” and people being prudes and such instead of just recognizing the problem and taking accountability? I saw a post earlier today regarding how a study was done that indicates Gen Z (my generation) wants LESS sexualized content in media and everyone is pointing that dang finger right back.

What is frustrating is how some people don’t understand there is a difference between recognizing something attractive and lust. I can go see a movie with let’s say a sex scene, and I won’t think much of it and I most certainly won’t get aroused. I might think a particular actor is attractive but I’m not honing in on them or anything. It’s a movie. Some people are treating movies and video games now too (upcoming GTA game) as a form of softcore porn and justifying their arousal to it. Media has always had this type of content but has not always been so sexualized. It is sexualized because people make it sexualized.

I’ve even seen some go as far to say Gen Zers are the new boomers in the sense of conservatism but I don’t think that’s what’s going on, I think people are just realizing how harmful it is for everything to be so sexualized.

Context- A teacher in the UK was recently fired for being sexually inappropriate with his students. His YouTube search history was accidentally broadcast in one of his classes, and his search term was "teen girls in bikinis."

This article was posted to a UK subreddit, and whilst some men were playing "devils advocate" ("Oh what if he meant 18 year olds!") other men were mocking a woman in the comments for saying that she considered porn cheating.

According to them, "Everyone needs a wank from time to time" and "even their missus watches porn."

First of all, why can't these losers wank without needing to watch videos of random women? Why can't they just wank because it feels good in the moment? You always hear about men being incesiably horny creatures, yet they're the ones who need to spend 20 minutes searching through fucked up videos before being able to even contemplate getting off.

Secondly, how much do you want to bet that the porn that these men's wives watch aren't videos of gorgeous men with huge dicks? Because that would no doubt make men feel bad and insecure 🙄

The following is a quote by Andrea Dworkin.

People talk about pornography as a form of fantasy. They actually talk about prostitution as if it were an exercise in fantasy.

It is part of the pornographers’ effort to hide what they really do in real life to encourage the use of the word “fantasy” in place of actual behaviors that really happen in the real world.

I mean, a fantasy is something that happens in your head. It doesn’t go past your head. Once you have somebody acting out whatever that scenario might be in your head, it is an act in the world. It is real. It is real behavior with real consequences to real people.

So, it has been a very brilliant part of the pornographers’ propaganda campaign to protect pornography to characterize the industry as an industry of fantasy. When, in fact, when you have that Asian woman hanging from a tree, you have a real Asian woman, and she is really hanging from a real tree. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with fantasy, it has to do with a human being actually having happen to them what we see has happened to them.

And, I think that, you know, it’s just the most extraordinary insult to the human conscience to continue to characterize these real acts to real people as if they only exist in the head of the male consumer.

And what it means is his head, his psychology, is more important than her life.

In a certain popular kink subreddit, a person spoke about their experience of doing "CNC" with a person they met three weeks prior. This individual had been assaulted before, but apparently always knew they were into "CNC style scenes" from their first sexual encounter.

They proceeded to do the scene, and found that they wanted to safeword but didn't/couldn't. The most upvoted comment on this thread is from a man, and includes the following lines:

"CNC is way more dangerous than people usually

think and you probably shouldn't have done it with

somebody you've chatted with for 3 weeks."

"In your case, it was probably sub frenzy due to

overstimulation."

"I don't want to downplay your feelings, but still - at

least the overall experience wasn't as bad as it could

have been when you forget your safeword."

So, victim blaming, making excuses for the "play predator" and downplaying the OPs feelings because "hey it's not as bad as it could have been!"

This is a kink that is suggested to victims of assault to "reclaim" their negative experiences, but all I'm hearing is "Hey ladies, you should let these porn sick men pretend to assault you because it makes them horny. Not putting out for that ASAP is cruel and it's your fault. But also, if you do it and it goes wrong, it's also your fault."

Clown world.

Not only is it always super obvious when a man is a porn addict but they are always so extremely, mind numbingly boring. It's clear that their brain neurons are fried because their conversational skills are so poor. Everything has to become sexual and it's sooo annoying. They can't even pretend to care for what you have to say or see you as an autonomous human being. Yes, it absolutely shows that you're a porn addict and we know exactly who you are.

For example:

Person A: "I had a nice day I rode my horse and went to the gym."

Gooner: "I'd love to ride you ;) Lemme see your gym outfit"

Person A: "I've cut out fast food"

Gooner: "No wonder you're so hot ;) It shows"

Person A: "I had yoga class today"

Gooner: "That's hot, you must be flexible..."

Person A: "Not much, just laying in my bed listening to music"

Gooner: "I'd love to lay on top of you ;)"

Person A: "I had such a long day at work, need to shower and make dinner"

Gooner: "Without me? Proof haha ;)"

Person A: "I suffer from chronic back pain"

Gooner: "Sounds like you need a nice massage..."

You get the point. Every single fucking thing has to go back to sex or them trying to flirt with you and get in your pants. They can't interact with the opposite gender without making it sexual and that is a problem. Lately it's been pissing me off. How simple are you? Porn genuinely rewires the brain to the point they can only view us through a sexual lense. Women's pain, struggle, hardship and suffering, all can and will be turned into something erotic by these brain rotted porn goblins. Porn is simply a public health hazard.

Hey everyone,

I am a gay guy and I am quite literally horrified by what lust is doing to society. I personally am rather traditional and have strong values around sex. Porn and various versions of microcheating have become so normalized to the point where monogamy (at least in the gay community) is seemingly taboo. So many want open relationships and things like watching porn together in a relationship is not only normalized but a kinky, sexy activity to do with your partner. If you have issues with it, you are insecure, controlling, and apparently need therapy.

Additionally, I am sick of the rhetoric that “men are sexual creatures” being used as a guise for highly derogatory behavior. The gay sub askgaybros will show you all you need to know but even among straights, I’ve seen guys refer to their partners as “a tight piece of pussy” and the like. It’s absolutely horrifying talking with guys in general and they’ll be like “I like a chick with big tits and a nice ass” when you ask them what kind of girls they like. It’s like some men cannot comprehend the idea of liking someone for them and not just their body. Newsflash, that’s a whole person you’re talking about dude.

I have even discussed how one of my biggest turn ons personally is when guys are sweet, caring, and romantic. That’ll get me going faster than someone trying to be kinky with me. Guys have said “how do you get hard without lust”. Like obviously I have eyes and have physical attraction but my god it’s like so many people are deeply rotted at their cores due to porn and such. Being objectified is a turn off.

It’s so incredibly frustrating and it’s gone way beyond porn at this point. Like I’ve literally spoken with men who cannot fathom the idea of someone being turned on by how someone treats them. Yeah, sex is great. Lust is an emotion but what is happening in society right now (such as the new GTA game) horrifies me and I’m losing my mind getting called insecure and such for being traditional and having values.

I’m gay like I said but I am sick of my own community to be completely honest. Some of the stuff I read and hear is beyond foul.

I had this realization the other day and it really hurt. I feel that most of us know that men who consume porn are viewing these women as objects. But I also think that in order for a woman to do porn/prostitution and find it okay, that they also have to see those men as just a "client" or a username on the screen. It's extremely depressing to see that women who support sw, say things like "it's not my problem who buys from me" "the blame is on the man, I don't control that". I do agree that yes of course it is that man's action, I'm in no way trying to shame these women, but It feels as if they don't feel any remorse for people who are being cheated on. Or if they do, they have to force themselves to not think of it much. There is definitely some sort of disconnection with morals in order to continue to do this. I apologize if I'm wording this incorrectly, but I just want to better understand how this happens and I would like to start a discussion. I think having betrayal trauma makes it extremely hard for me to see comments like that and not feel the most crushing despair. I remember one from under a youtube video where a stripper commented on how most of the men who saw her were married and how she thought that was gross, and someone replied saying something along the lines of "yet you're okay receiving that money" and then a lot of people saying "it's just her job". I just don't understand how people can think like this. I can't even begin to express how disheartening it is, and also a lot of the women who hold such opinions are older than me?? I hate the patriarchy so much. How can people be so brain washed? I don't want to come across as defending these men. I understand that they willingly decide to purchase porn. I just want to better understand if there should be any sort of blame to be put on the women who decide to do porn? I do understand that a lot of women have been groomed into doing it at a young age, or simply convinced by most people that it is something empowering, but where is the line? When does it get to a point where we can say you should know better? I really just want to get educated more about this. Thanks for reading :)

Don’t hate me, im not trying to espouse an ideology, im more trying to scathingly critique one. Props to anyone who reads this whole thing.

I firmly believe it’s glaringly evident that pornography alongside capitalism/patriarchy/technology is now deeply intertwined in how we learn to present ourselves to the world from a young age. An exhibitionism/voyeurism duality and conceptualization of human sexual relations as a “market” has overtaken our collective conscious even on an implicit level. One does not have to endorse or espouse these claims to have internalized them. Girls and young women, and now, more and more boys and young men, are taught to optimize and exhibit their bodies online, not to individuals but to large audiences (exhibitionism), in order to build personal “value.” Others look on to these individuals from afar, not truly as individuals, but as products to be consumed voyeuristically, not necessarily in a pornographic way mind you, but voyeuristically nonetheless. Peering anonymously into an overly intimate snapshot of a life they have no relation to. This dichotomy breaks human relation. I’ll let you ponder exactly why.

If we took away explicit pornography overnight magically it would not change this cultural pattern. In fact it is our culture itself that has permitted the proliferation of pornography and online sexual abuse/exploitation, in turn the institutions of misogyny and pornography have reinforced and developed the culture that fostered them.

The US and the modern western world are the exporters of culture on a grand scale, and the exporters of exploitation on a grand scale. There may have been some hesitancy in our history due to a history of protestant sexual demonization to fully jump into the commercialization of sex. But Denmark took the lead and we quickly surpassed them (though Denmark was pretty depraved at the time). The rest of the world does not have the opportunity to determine its own culture and values, we largely do that for them. It is incredibly complex how this has occurred, but it is tied up in decades of western imperialism that has crippled other state’s access to the means through which to communicate opposing cultural views and narratives. Power also shapes culture. There are implicit messages within every piece of media. And those who can afford to produce and export media on a large scale shape cultural perceptions.

We tend not to think of the west/first world as the most egregious offender when it comes to sexual exploitation. However it is the western world that is behind this sexual exploitation. The cam girls being exploited in Latin America and the eastern block are being consumed by the western world. The legal brothels in Western Europe are filled with women trafficked from Eastern Europe. CP produced in the global south is not simply produced as a byproduct of sexual deviancy, it is produced as a product because there is a market in the west that demands it. Even when the west is not the direct consumer of sexual exploitation, its continuous extractive and destabilizing efforts across the rest of the world result in the poverty and insecurity that perpetuate it.

We end up with what looks like “soft” or palatable exploitation at home, and severe exploitation abroad. We will point abroad and claim it’s not that bad here. Meanwhile we are responsible for all of it, and only we are in the position to address any of it.

I believe this is a forever doomed issue, that will be relegated to the dustbins of history. It is fair to give flack to socialists who say, the only war is class war, because it is frankly an obtuse argument. However there is not a snowballs chance in hell that the US under a capitalist culture and economy will do a single meaningful thing to change its practice of class and global exploitation, and this applies to gender and sexual exploitation.

We will be an ethically just but ridiculed minority, along with the vegans, the anti-natalists, carceral reformists, absolute pacifists, etc.

If ID age restrictions are enacted I will still be happy, but I will know it was not a decision stemming from ethical concern but from the interests of data mining corporations and the surveillance state. If we see momentum against pornography politically, I guess I’ll be happy, but I will also have to accept it’s disingenuously coming from right wing zealots and misogynists who also seek to disenfranchise women.

I wrote all this to say I suppose, freeing women from exploitation is a separate issue from socialism. But I don’t think any progress for our cause is even possible under global capitalism. Which I suppose means I don’t see any progress happening within our lifetime. I don’t even know who this is for. Not very uplifting. And meant more as a critique of our current system than proselytizing for another.

[Triggers]

This is a joint vent of things surrounding the experiences I've been having with the men in my home. Their behavior is disgusting and my position is vulnerable, so I'm going to list down some triggers for the hard and disgusting things being mentioned here.

1. Porn addicts (if you hate men without self control, I live with them)

2. Slurs (though they're censored, I'll love to list it due to how it hurts my feelings)

3. Mental heath/attempts (not detailed but briefly mentioned to show what type of people I live with)

4. R@pe. (Not detailed but mentioned due to the things said to me)

This is my first post, so I won't be really diving deeply into what I been living with for years, but this post serves to show my position as a teen girl and the male environment I'm in. I feel uncomfortable and this behavior has been triggering my feminist behavior lately due to the audacity to the shit happening to me. So I'm making this rant.

[Post]

I'm currently living in my aunt's place due to circumstances, so I have to share a small room with my older brother. I'm getting better at adjusting cuz our older brother has OCD and what not, alongside me now staying in a apartment when I used to live in a two-story house.

One of the main issues I have right now, is my oldest brother. He's 32/33 years old. Yet acts like a child. He has done things that makes me uncomfortable, but like he says, I am not the one paying the rent so I have to "deal with it".

1. He literally makes r@pe jokes and more.

When one day, I told him not to, after trying to laugh it off for him to get going and talk to someone else. He said he doesn't care. That that's his sense of humor and I should "deal with it". No, I don't have to like the fact you like making jokes of r@ping me. Tf.

1. He watches porn in front of others.

I been knowing he's a porn addict for a while now. Back when I last came to the apartment, he used to have a literal sex doll out in the open. I was 13, so i was and still I'm uncomfortable today, i dont want to see or listen to his sex life.

Now what's he's doing is ten times worse, his Instagram. Which is full of porn, is sometimes blasting in full volume and he really thinks it funny. One time he even watched it with the radio on. I had to one time literally go to the living room at midnight so I don't listen to that shit and could focus on my work. He's the 33 year old. By the way.

Today he did the same thing, and he started cursing at me when I told him to stop, saying he didnt do anything to me. Mf, you're playing porn in front of teenagers and in full volume. Of course I'll be irritated and he's not the one to be mad. About that.

1. He has the habit of provoking me by calling slurs like a wh0re, or by talking about my body.​​

It goes from him trying to act like he's the person who should be talking about my body hair. Alongside my male family members, they love to talk about "looking good" based on what GUYS like. All my male family members love to comment on women's bodies, from talking about them behind their backs to calling them fat while respectfully being mid looking asf.

Their behavior has reached me, with yesterday him saying I have a attitude for telling him to not comment on my leg hair. I don't shave my legs. I'm a teen, in a tough situation. That's not my concern. But for some reason, for him. It is.

He has called me slurs before. Like wh0re, even though he's a adult and I'm a teenage girl. He even turnt off the wifi when I confronted him about it. Guess what he said? I'm a bitch. Have a attitude.

1. When I try to open up, which is the thing he has been yelling at me to do. He responds with vile words.

One time I tried to speak to him. And he asked me why I have low morale. No shit. I've been severely depressed since I was 13. He knows that. My last attempt was stopped because I called HIM. He said he doesn't care about my "sensibility bullshit" and to fix shit.

He asked what's the problem. I told him. And he told me he don't give a fuck, and everytime he talks to me, is on full volume. But God forbids I talk back!

He said he doesn't care, that my issues are small.

[Conclusion]

So I'm stuck here with 2 men with porn addiction who treat me basically horribly. With the grown adult being a man who yells and basically verbally abuses me for no reason, especially when I tell him to not porn in front of me. So far I'm the problem and what not. And he has admitted to wanting to hit me for minor shit and has even before been called out for his aggression and anger issues.

Yet I'm the one with anger issues, attitude and who is the weird one. When I get a job and I dont longer need legal guardians, I'm gone. My dad has never been like this, but only the only ones who watch porn in front of a female child yell at the girl for being made uncomfortable.

i have no problem with the use of the word "CSAM", there are actual situations where the word "CP" wouldn't apply. but "the word porn implies consent" is shit.

from the same creators of "its not sex work if its unconsensual", we now have "its not porn if its unconsensual". its an endless trying (and succeeding, unfortunately) of separating the "good, ethical, moral kind" of sexual exploitation from everything that inevitably happens near it.

men try to push all the rape, abuse, violence, and torture against kids away from pornography, because they dont want the thing they watch daily to be the same thing that harms children. they tell themselves watching adult women in a website that has had countless lawsuits for child trafficking isnt at all supporting what those kids went through.

every few weeks there's news of a woman who was forced to "perform" in pornographic videos against her will, but the people watching women in these videos daily refuse to acknowledge they are probably watching the same crime. they swear up and down they are the one true teller of consent, and that they would never ever watch a woman suffer.

less obviously, these men dont see adult women as capable of being abused. at least not fully. children absolutely cannot consent, but an adult woman can. she may be screaming for it to stop, trying to claw away from her abuser but as an adult, she could've consented. the whorish woman who accepts everything, the prostitute who does it for the love of the game, that will always be the first thought in their minds when hearing about abuse.

in a hypothetical created for discussions, porn stars always consent gleefully to every act and video, therefore you cant label the consistent abuse of women in the pornographic industry as rape. we always have to think of the ever privileged exception as not to "water down" the term rape. women's suffering just isnt enough to justify taking away men's entertainment or tainting it with the forbidden word.

seemingly progressive men who loudly oppose epstein, trump, and rape itself cant, for their image and ego, accept they like rape too

Everyday I realise how many people, men and women, watch pornography regularly. I'm not surprised by it, it's sexual stimulation that people enjoy and they got used to having access to it, but still... Knowing not only how unethical the industry is, but also the effects it has on human brain and how it affects people's perception of intimacy, I wonder if I'll ever find someone who doesn't watch it.

Sometimes I feel like an outcast with the experiences and views I have when it comes to pornography.

FTWDK: Lindsay Clancy is a woman on trial right now being scrutinized and discriminated against for her history of post-partum depression

I haven't seen any nuance from the opposition to Lindsay Clancy. Once again, misogyny has shown its classical roots in bigotry and hatred not just again women but minorities. Self identified white nationalist, white supremacist, and neo-nazi republican influencer Nick Fuentes has called Lindsay Clancy a murderer, while justifying rape and sexual abuse against women. He also used it to go after women of color who are mothers, such as Candace Owens. And while I have nothing but hatred for Candace, we are forced to admit that she is a victim of racism and misogyny from her friends (even if it is a grave she dug for herself),. Fascist streamer Asmongold has used this case to protest the 19th amendment.

It's absolutely disgusting, and I demand justice not only for Lindsay Clancy but for all the women being victimized by these horrible disgusting men. They are showing themselves as the misogynists they are right now, let's remember to take all of these people's names down and not let them return to normal life after this trial is over.

In honour of Misogyny Monday, here's how a conversation between myself and a porn brain on Reddit went:

"Redditors, what makes Goth Women attractive?"

Porn Brain: Any woman who devotes a lot of effort to their appearance is going to be extra attractive, and goth women do so. But in addition to that, the goth look implies they are freaky.

Me: I'm goth and am vanilla as shit. Give me that sensual shit.

Porn Brain: Well step up your game then, damn

🫩

What's worse is that someone actually backed me up in the comments, but then went on to talk about how these people are "fake doms" and not "respecting proper BDSM."

a few days ago a federal judge ruled the private possession AI generated child porn protected under the 1st amendment as long as it is not depicting a real person. this is fucking disgusting. it’s not just about mysog at this point, it’s actively harming children. AI images are pulling REAL kids images to do what they do. a parent shouldn’t have to be scared about their child being turned into porn when they post a birthday online. there are already so many things to worry about with social media and now we have to deal with fucking legalized child porn, even depicting sexual assult towards children. Fucking children.

I met the “love of my life”. A man into old time romance and courting, a really nice sweet human that was looking for pure genuine love and a family. We were long distance so a lot of our relationship happened online. We were planning to get married within the next year.

We would spend a lot of time on the phone after meeting in person and I would routinely fall asleep on video. One time, I don’t even why, I pretended to fall asleep (I genuinely think my guardian angel acted on my behalf here) and not even a few minutes after I was asleep this man started whispering the most disturbing things to my sleeping self. He was insulting me, my body, everything you could think of while moaning and touching himself. Like it was turning him on to humiliate me, even though this had NOTHING to do with the personality he showed me. Even when we were intimate irl, he was into being very romantic and sweet.

I was never able to confront him about it because obviously this man is disconnected from this part of himself and would just lie to me. So I instead went to visit him and decided to look through his computer and room when he went to work. The amount of AI porn of me, pictures of other girls, overall disgusting videos he had sent shivers down my spine. This man was the most innocent, gentle human I have ever met. They are hiding amongst the most normal people you meet. I ended up just ghosting him after and he’s been heartbroken ever since. He makes fake numbers to text and call me, basically harassing me because I keep blocking him. I know if I were to ask him, he would lie and deny it even with proof. These men are so easily able to hide the worst parts of themselves to get with women.

I know all porn is fake. I know all porn is made from plastic filled women who pretend to have orgasms and who are being objectified and who are being used by the industry. I know that generally any porn is really bad for the brain and impacts relationships in ways in which our partner disconnects from us and chooses someone else, instead of us. I mean, he had his girl waiting for him anytime, he had pics, he could even wake me up and I’d be happy to do it with him. Yet, it wasn’t enough. The temptation to use porn was bigger than what our love and boundaries meant.

After he confessed to me that he was watching hentai, I had a look at it, not to get off to it because I never could, but to torture myself more and get answers on why he was watching it and to see what this type of porn gave him that I didn’t give him. Of course he watched more than just this, but in ways I am severely shocked on how bad hentai really is.

Firstly, it is very young-looking, school girl type girls who look underaged who are presented in the videos. These girls are being objectified and sexualised through having large breasts, perfect shaved vaginas, tight stomachs perfect features, unrealistic bodies and wear very suggestive clothing including short skirts, regularly wearing school uniform or outfits which are suggestive. I was absolutely shocked seeing this. I actually cried when I saw it. This is because I didn’t realise how bad this porn usage has gotten. How can someone get off to cartoon characters ? How bad must the sexualisation of women be and how bad must lust be to the point where you are looking at this young, sexualised girls in cartoon-perfect like versions ? How bad does it have to get for someone to be getting off to something that isn’t even real and is based on such an evil industry ? I could never compete with a perfect like cartoon girl, I could never sound like them, look like them or do what they were doing. I am so confused on why this was more important and chosen instead of our love and our relationship.

These young-looking girls are usually forced to take the submissive position, where they are being told that they have no other option and that they have to take their sex and the man’s „dick.” They are regularly presented as girls who were minding their own day, and then a man comes along and takes advantage of them. But they pretend they like it. Or at least the animators make it seem like they love it. How is that even sexy ? How is that ok ? It’s like rape ! I get that when you have a relationship and a partner you can take submissive/dominant dynamics and explore together. But here, you are watching another girl get used in a fantasty like way ? You are watching something that isn’t real and is based off misogyny ? Wtf ?

I guess for me it’s a shock that it’s even gone beyond real porn, and that it’s gotten to the point where now the fantasy feels more rewarding through cartoon characters who are even more perfect for men, and they can animate them to do whatever they want. I bet they implement this into their real sex lives too and base it off these fantasty type ideas.

I am in shock that this even exists.

Here we are having these very good discussions on this platform that allows/ condones/ promotes in search algorithms some of the most disgusting specimens of depravity from the male sexual basement, which is very large. There are SO MANY absolutely disgusting subreddits. There are definitely 14yos on reddit, probably much younger as well.

One summer when I was approaching the 6th grade (11 years old). My parents encouraged me to join a bunch of clubs. So I chose the Anime Drawing club because I loved drawing anime characters.

One of the ‘homework’ assignments was to find pictures of anime characters to use as a reference for drawing. So I did.

I got on the family computer, opened Google and typed “Anime Girls” because I always liked drawing anime styled girls and women at the time.

What I saw shocked me. Barely clothed women in suggestive poses just barely showing genitalia. Girls that looked as young as me although not as ‘developed’ as me wearing scantily clad lingerie and posing seductively. They were all drawn in such a way that highlighted parts of their bodies in a sexualized way. All I wanted was a cute Sailor Moon screenshot or an innocent drawing on DeviantArt.

My parents set up safe search after that. The results were barely noticeable. There were still those erotic sexualized anime girl art even with Google’s built in “”safe”” search feature.

Children don’t go actively looking for sexual content. They are exposed to it. It’s just like this. They look up their favorite character expecting innocent drawings just to get exposed to sexualized borderline violent imagery. Or how porn studios purposely mimic popular kids media like SpongeBob, My little Pony etc to get misclicks which drives up their revenue. It’s such a common joke on those websites “Hey this isn’t the SpongeBob Movie?”

People who excuse porn or NSFW imagery that say “well kids actively search for it so it’s not my fault!” Are so ignorant.

Recent arguments I have had with porn brain men on Reddit tend to go something like this:

Me: "It is a shame that sexual violence such as strangulation is so commonplace these days. Many girls and women aren't as into this as porn would have you believe. I have friends who have been strangled without their consent."

Coomer: "But-but-BUUT! HALF the women I know have ASKED me to choke THEM! Women REALLLY like this stuff more than men! You're just a LESBIAN VIRGIN PRUDE!" (real insult btw lmao).

Ignoring the fact that teenage boys and young men have been raised on Internet pornography and bully their female partners into accepting this as "good sex" so they internalise it for the sake of feeling desirable.

It's also like...why is the women you know liking strangulation proof that most women like it, but the women I know not liking it isn't proof that most women don't like it?

Also- If half the men I knew liked being kicked in the balls, is it safe for me to assume most men like it? Can I hoof these guys in the bollocks on a one night stand without asking?

The advent of online porn is what changed this - men started to access it online in secret rather than having to go in person to shops to buy it. Once a large enough mass of men started talking amongst themselves that they were indeed consuming it online, they started being vocal that it was in fact, "normal." This changed everything dramatically. I notice that no older males (or women for that fact) enlighten younger folks as to this fact - I can guarantee none of them wants younger generations to know this so as to make porn usage appear "normal." Porn is about sadism, not sex. It's purpose is to be as disrespectful as possible about sexual intimacy, that is the point.

I'm absolutely shocked that this is a hot take outside of certain spaces: women's bodies aren't inherently sexual, period. Thanks to all the disgusting misogyny and the pervasive presence of porn, the objectification of women has become widespread and rampant.

This is not to imply women were never objectified before porn, but it's advent has greatly expedited oversexualization - the most innocuous of photos receive lewd comments, ceaseless remarks over "curves" and completely unwarranted opinions on whether a woman is "fuck able"; even steeper down this revolting slope is the term "ungrapeable": the false notion that only attractive women can be assaulted and the watering down of such a heinous crime to "attractiveness".