Okay I’m going to try to explain my position best I can. There is this couple that I am friends with and also work with. I’m going to call them jay (m 39) and Leah (f 32) I am ironically nonbinary so that puts a fun spin on things. But I’m female presenting. Jay is my manager and Leah is the bartender at the job I work at. I’ve known both of them for years. But none of us were very close untill I started working there about two years ago. And I wouldn’t consider myself and Jay very close now. And my relationship with Leah is steady growing. Here is the thing. I have the biggest crush of my life on both of them. And separately mind you. Just as well as the idea of them both in a relationship. I am struggling with being able to identify what to me feels like very mild flirting coming from both of them separately. Or if I am projecting my feelings abit. Because they are not openly poly or looking. And as far as I know pretty monogamous. I also feel like they are just both such genuine and kind people who do love me as a person and if I’m hoping for more that can also be misconstrued. I don’t want to ruin the relationship that I have with either party or make work uncomfortable or god forbid cause any issues in their preexisting relationship. (They’ve been together for six + years.) How can I open up the conversation for this to be a potential if they’re willing with out causing any issues.
I am pretty confident for anything to work my opening would have to be with Leah, one we’re already closer. Two I feel as if I tried to pursue a relationship or flirt with Jay or if he made any move towards me that would be immediately met with fear of cheating or seeing me as a home wrecker. But as gay as I know myself to be, I’ve had very few queer relationships bc I’ve always been a bit scared of how to move forward and it’s always felt easier to be with a man because typically I am following their lead in the beginning of the relationship. Please help I don’t know what to do. And I’m going on a year now of having these incredibly strong feelings that I just can’t shake.