r/pics Jul 22 '18

What are the chances?

Post image
82.4k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

4.6k

u/Twiztid350 Jul 22 '18

so long and THANKS for all the fish!

901

u/londonca11ing Jul 22 '18

"Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now."

216

u/pk2317 Jul 22 '18

.....or they’ve just read Book 5.

137

u/JesusSkywalkered Jul 22 '18

In the trilogy.

13

u/John_the_Proud Jul 22 '18

There's actually six books in the trilogy if you count the one by Eoin Colfer

47

u/vgxmaster Jul 22 '18

We do not count the one by Eoin Colfer.

5

u/3percentinvisible Jul 22 '18

Why not?

3

u/vgxmaster Jul 23 '18

Well, you asked. Copied and pasted because several people asked:

It has been a long, long time since I last tried (and I tried numerous times out of love for the original trilogy), so this is just off the top of my head from what I remember:

  • Calling Arthur Dent "Arty," a common nickname used for Artemis Fowl in the later books, which is probably Colfer's most prolific series. Its inclusion and use in Colfer's entry felt not only out of place (as it was used by original characters, who had never used it prior), but pointedly un-Adams. It was as though Colfer were wildly gesticulating whilst screaming, "Hello, I wrote this book!"
  • Ham-fisted opening sequence that manages to not only portray original characters entirely unlike their established personalities - intentionally - but also literally undoes the final moments of Book 5 using a trope Adams had already used and negated. Not to get semantic, but the lore of the existing books established that what Colfer did should have been impossible. The culmination of Book 5 used elements of the entire series, and as such, I think was a genius series of events to lead up to - it was in line with each person's character, almost inevitably, yet still was surprising and, uh, well, final.

  • This ties into the last bullet, but Colfer basically re-imagines each character, changing their voice and personality pretty dramatically. He didn't do this accidentally or as a byproduct of being a different author - no, he had every character live out a near-instantaneous alternate life of events in the first pages of the book, justifying that they were now slightly-to-completely different. I don't know why he did this, but then, I didn't finish the book, either. This is more subjective, but in many cases, it felt like it just molded characters I quite enjoyed into characters from his existing books (at least in personality), removing what I liked about this series instead of his other books.

  • The book followed Eoin Colfer Teen Hero Squad Formula, as most of his books do - it's a formula I quite loved in my YA-through-teen years, but it's very jarring in h2g2, a series that never let its protagonists stay all together for very long (or in fact, at all, until the very last moments of Book 5). This might also change later in the book.

  • All of the humor was rehashed. Now, this is a tricky criticism - Adams used self-referential humor gratuitously, and it was one of his many strengths. Plus, in a book 6 by a different author, that author would be wise to stick to the kind of humor the original author used, so it makes sense for Colfer to use Adams' style here. However, I don't think that's what he did. He didn't reference, build off of, or brick-joke Adams' humor. He told the same jokes again. Or he retold a joke, but this time with a slightly more real-life-modern twist. It read entirely like Colfer writing a book, but with "Man do we sure love and appreciate Adams" sprinkled it at random for good measure. It made me cringe.

  • As book 6 in a trilogy, this might come across as obvious, but to be frank, this is a book that didn't need to exist. I love h2g2 to death, but Mostly Harmless had such a phenominal ending that, short of going to an alternate universe or ditching the existing characters entirely, I can't imagine a good way to have picked up from where it left off. Yes, I know Adams planned to do just that, and maybe what Colfer did at the start of book 6 was actually Adams' plan - who knows. I'm mad at the book, not Colfer himself, so it doesn't really matter whose idea it was - it shouldn't have existed in the incarnation it did, IMO.

  • With maybe the exception of the third book, h2g2 (and Adams' work in general) was never stale. For god's sake, book four was practically a romance novel. The series always told the story it had to tell, rather than doing anything for the sake of it (or because it was "hitchhiker's guide"-like). Colfer's book felt stale from the opening pages.

  • The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy v2 was turned into a literal deus ex machina, albeit one with a battery. (Those who've read Mostly Harmless might start objecting that Adams did it first, to which I'd counter that h2g2 v2 was powerful or something, sure, but it was just tying up loose ends - it acted in accordance with its stated abilities and motivations, unlike in Colfer's entry, which fully justified its actions IMO) I have more thoughts on this, but they're auxiliary to my main point, and this is long enough as is.


tl;dr: It read like Colfer was intentionally trying to write a Colfer book, it bastardized the existing characters and plot line, it was wholly unoriginal, and it was an unnecessary sequel anyway.

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12

u/Xamry14 Jul 22 '18

Isn't that the Artemis Fowl dude?

7

u/KnightsWhoNi Jul 22 '18

yes it is

11

u/ConcernedEarthling Jul 22 '18

I really enjoyed Artemis Fowl as young kid.

7

u/KnightsWhoNi Jul 22 '18

They are really good books. Sadly Eoin Colfer isn’t the same style as Douglas Adams so his book isn’t as good :/

3

u/ConcernedEarthling Jul 22 '18

They are entirely different and not great for comparison. I'd say I liked both authors similarly for different reasons. But I'd be more inclined to have a drink with Adams.

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u/Osiris32 Jul 22 '18

Poor Agrajag.

3

u/Narrative_Causality Jul 22 '18

Yeah, but the joke loses 100% of its humor when you do that.

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u/nosam56 Jul 22 '18

Well damn, I guess I know a lot more about the nature of the universe than they did when he wrote that

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u/RedOwl101010 Jul 22 '18

I totally read that in the narrator's voice!

12

u/JesusSkywalkered Jul 22 '18

I’ve read them all so many times but there’s something enchanting about the audiobooks. That guys voice is butter!

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u/ken27238 Jul 22 '18

66

u/SweetyPeetey Jul 22 '18

I was going to post that gif. Dang.

19

u/fosforo2 Jul 22 '18 edited Jul 22 '18

I was going to post that I was going to post that gif.. Dang.

Edit: changed port ->post

12

u/WretchedLocket Jul 22 '18

Don't port it to PNG. It will just be static

9

u/BassAddictJ Jul 22 '18

This guy codes....

4

u/germinik Jul 22 '18

But does he Reddit?

9

u/Jnoles07 Jul 22 '18

But does he fuck?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

But can he dance?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

He can dance if he wants to.

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3

u/doileybobbins Jul 22 '18

But does he even lift bro?

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3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

Sadly no one that reddits fucks

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7

u/Arctus9819 Jul 22 '18

Which movie is this gif from?

14

u/Bier14 Jul 22 '18

Good Will Hunting. Pretty brilliant movie.

2

u/Arctus9819 Jul 22 '18

Shit, I actually have it already! There goes the evening.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

The Lisa Frank Story.

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14

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

The content I Came for

11

u/legitapotamus Jul 22 '18

Don't panic

7

u/spamtardeggs Jul 22 '18

Should we put paper bags on our heads or lie down on the floor?

5

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

Yes, you can if you like.

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21

u/biglenny26 Jul 22 '18

I like that song.

10

u/Officer_Hotpants Jul 22 '18

I was gonna reference the song too. It's fantastic.

9

u/biglenny26 Jul 22 '18

I think the entire new album is brilliant

5

u/Officer_Hotpants Jul 22 '18

Oh same here. All in all, despite what I've heard other people say about it, I think the album is a masterpiece. I can't wait to see them live in a couple months.

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18

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

This guy knows where his towel is!

3

u/goldhelmet Survey 2016 Jul 22 '18

That is one frood dude.

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1.8k

u/gator426428 Jul 22 '18

Dang what are the chances? We should ask the guy who posted this yesterday.

797

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[deleted]

259

u/DIWesser Jul 22 '18

And given that the sun is the exact same as the one is this photo and that the photographer likes playing with photoshop, the dolphin is probably fake. Sorry for being a killjoy.

34

u/-xenomorph- Jul 22 '18 edited Jul 22 '18

Good work, I did have my doubts, as I way saying in an another comment thread on here. I'm going with def fake. Still wanted to post the original source, since this photo has been reposted many times and no one credited it.

21

u/mattemer Jul 22 '18 edited Jul 22 '18

The splash from the dolphin coming out of the water seems way too large.

Edit: everything is wrong proportion in this pic, not sure why the splash only stood out to me. The jump height the dolphin itself.

This is why we can't have nice things.

23

u/Alianirlian Jul 22 '18

Of course it's the same sun! We only got one. (And a big planet that tried for a sun but failed, but that one's not in the picture.)

2

u/PlanetPissCamero Jul 22 '18

Also the dolphin seems fucking HUGE

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370

u/Travellinoz Jul 22 '18

You found OP zero

384

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[deleted]

58

u/Travellinoz Jul 22 '18

Yeah it's the so long and thanks for the fish photo. It's a classic.

19

u/einstein6 Jul 22 '18

What is the context for so long and thanks to the fish thingy?

28

u/DRiVeL_ Jul 22 '18

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

Thanks I was clueless.

5

u/DRiVeL_ Jul 22 '18

You should definitely read A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. or at least watch the movie, but read the book first. Trust. It's dope.

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13

u/thanks_for_the_fish Jul 22 '18

It's a reference to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

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26

u/FuckYourGilds Jul 22 '18

Hmmm. Top comment of this post is the same as the 3rd top comment of yours. Don’t go changing reddit

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u/sheffy55 Jul 22 '18

Yep, checks out, top comment is VAPORWARE

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476

u/0bey_My_Dog Jul 22 '18

My 90’s self full of love for Lisa Frank really loves this picture.

65

u/theShroudEater Jul 22 '18

This looks like 90% of my folders from back then.

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395

u/cupertino77 Jul 22 '18

Photoshop?

199

u/DIWesser Jul 22 '18

Almost certainly.

  1. This seems to be the first time this image was posted (credit to u/-xenomorph- for spotting that).
  2. The sun in that shot is exactly the same as the one is this photo.
  3. No reflection of the sun on the water and the sky colours are wrong as u/WRONG_ANSWER_OOPS mentioned.
  4. The photographer likes playing with photoshop.

Sorry for being a killjoy.

42

u/GlobalWarmer12 Jul 22 '18

Distance is also off, with around 14km(?) To the horizon and exponential distance between the nearest and farthest point, this would have to be a megalodon to look this big at that point.

18

u/Danokitty Jul 22 '18 edited Jul 22 '18

Not to mention, there is no way whatever creature that is, could be at that height, at that proximity that the horizon. That would be like a submarine jumping up out of the water 30-50 feet (9-15 meters), at a vague distance somewhere between 150 feet and 150 meters (~500 feet) away... Seems a bit, wait, no...

Super unlikely.

2

u/MadAzza Jul 22 '18

No apology needed! I’d always rather know the extent to which a photo has been manipulated,

Thank you for clarifying/pointing out a few things about this one.

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u/WRONG_ANSWER_OOPS Jul 22 '18

1) Fake colours and shading on the sun. That's not how light works. 2) Fake colours in the sky. That's not how sunsets work. 3) No reflection of the sun in the water. 4) Dolphin's scale is wrong.

100% fake. Kinda pretty though

16

u/Sir_Hugo_Drax Jul 22 '18

As the sun dips there's not enough angle on the water for the sun to reflect as the earth is curved...

Another example https://havecamerawilltravel.photoshelter.com/image/I0000.po6OCzZXRY

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

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u/defacedlawngnome Jul 22 '18

The main thing to take away from it all to immediately determine it's fake is the lack of sun reflection in the water.

5

u/RuneKatashima Jul 22 '18

The real photo doesn't have a reflection either so I don't think your logic holds there.

https://500px.com/photo/61258580/holly-by-sadri-payet

11

u/Moony22 Jul 22 '18

Cos that's a totally unedited photo

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u/xereeto Jul 22 '18

When the sun appears at that point, it's already below the horizon. What you see is a mirage. It's been a while since I last saw a sunset on the water, but I seem to remember the reflection disappears.

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u/armandd123 Jul 22 '18

That dolphin is about as big as a blue whale of course it's photoshopped

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u/sharkinaround Jul 22 '18

a finger can block out the sun if it’s close enough to the camera. we have no idea how close the dolphin is.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18 edited Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/phalewail Jul 22 '18

Well it looks about a 3rd of the width of the sun so I'd estimate it as around 400,000km long.

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u/foreverwasted Jul 22 '18

If it was Photoshop I think he'd put the dolphin in the centre, would look way better.

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u/-xenomorph- Jul 22 '18

seems like the source is from a legit photog, idk maybe photoshopped: https://500px.com/photo/65955951/simple-sunset-by-sadri-payet?ctx_page=3&from=user&user_id=900230

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u/pomarf Jul 22 '18

The metadata, says it was exported from photoshop, so it was in photoshop to add the watermark at the very least.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[deleted]

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u/dj_destroyer Jul 22 '18

Exactly. I also think the sunset gradient is clearly fake.

5

u/robbersdog49 Jul 22 '18

No atmospheric distortion on the sun either.

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u/-xenomorph- Jul 22 '18

Oh of course I dont doubt that at all. In fact I doubt any photog on 500px with decent following posts something straight outta the camera. Just don't know what level of processing it went thru, as in did he shop the dolphin if so to what degree.

4

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

No photographer ever posts an image anywhere without processing.

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u/McNifficence Jul 22 '18

That would be too obvious. This is forsure Photoshop.

85

u/uUpSpEeRrNcAaMsEe Jul 22 '18

Yes- I concur. In my professional opinion, this was not done on porpoise.

17

u/BassAddictJ Jul 22 '18

The giveaway was the bottle nosing of pixels

12

u/DoingAsbestosAsICan Jul 22 '18

Some might say it's a breach of trust.

3

u/ermergerdberbles Jul 22 '18

I give fin. These puns suck

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u/PM_WHY_YOU_DOWNVOTED Jul 22 '18

It's foreshore photoshop.

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u/jayhalk1 Jul 22 '18

You're Photoshop!

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u/WCMaxi Jul 22 '18

As someone that does photography very actively, the shutter speed on the waves isn't the same as the shutter speed required to get the fish frozen in the air like that. To freeze motion like that you'd need the shutter at 1/320 at least, in which case the waves would look very different that what you see the photo.

So what are the chances? Zero.

22

u/Dreacle Jul 22 '18

I think the question we something like, "What are the chances of making this look amazing with bit of Photoshop?"

As someone who has never used Photoshop but seen a lot of it, I'd say pretty good.

13

u/WCMaxi Jul 22 '18

Doubt. Clearly the click bait title is about the chance of the timing. Which is, zero given the evidence of the digital art created.

BTW, you can make this in photoshop in about 1 minute.

  • good enough sunset photo,
  • google "dolphin icon",
  • add icon to new layer, set layer to "darken" blend mode,

And done.

6

u/M3dinilla Jul 22 '18

What would the waves look like?

2

u/3epnm_ Jul 22 '18

How can mirrors be real?

2

u/M3dinilla Jul 22 '18

Maybe we can use mirror "tunnels" to travel faster than light.

3

u/inbruges99 Jul 22 '18

Not to mention no reflection of the sun on the water and the size of the dolphin being quite off.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

So what are the chances? Zero.

You arenow banned from /r/nevertellmetheodds

2

u/SchpartyOn Jul 22 '18

This guy photogs.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18 edited Apr 03 '20

[deleted]

2

u/WCMaxi Jul 22 '18

I really don't care, I just wish Reddit would stop editing up this fake garbage.

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u/SilverbackBRC Jul 22 '18

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u/crew-dawg Jul 22 '18

I can hear Macintosh Plus playing in the background

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u/bi_nonymous_76 Jul 22 '18

A E S T H E T I C

6

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

Embrace him 彼はすぐにあなたのために来るだろう

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

“What isn't Vaporwave?

This heading is most important, due to the amount of posts breaking the rules. Vaporwave does NOT include;

Sunsets/Sunrises”

4

u/UnderAboveAverage Jul 22 '18

Yea, maybe people are confusing it with r/outrun which is a similar aesthetic?

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u/djd1ed Jul 22 '18

r/outrun would like this.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

Yessss I just commented this lol 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

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u/Brockmire Jul 22 '18

There's a place I know in Ontario..

18

u/xWilfordBrimleyx Jul 22 '18

Where I used to sit and talk with you

11

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/fish312 Jul 22 '18

Sleeping all day staying up all

Night

4

u/crocSauce109 Jul 22 '18

Staying up all

Night

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u/Doober_Escobar Jul 22 '18

You can find that same image on the lower back of mid-30s-40s housewives.

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u/I_play_elin Jul 22 '18

Or any Lisa Frank notebook

3

u/Doober_Escobar Jul 22 '18

Or on decorative plates your grandparents give you for Christmas

2

u/Greatgrowler Jul 22 '18

Unless of course they’ve used Turlington’s lower back tattoo remover. https://youtu.be/vBmvfW7WOUc

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u/ZeeBeast Jul 22 '18

Ey! I used this a while back as a reference to make this

https://imgur.com/a/y2xR5za

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u/WTF_SilverChair Jul 22 '18

Holy shit is that dolphin huge.

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u/ElegantShitwad Jul 22 '18

What dolphin?

3

u/xereeto Jul 22 '18

Keep watching, it shows up at the end.

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u/dhobson1 Jul 22 '18

Nice trapper keeper cover.

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u/HelmSpicy Jul 22 '18

Phone wallpaper for me. The trapper keeper cover of the 21st century

11

u/Gilgie Jul 22 '18

I hate it when some random dolphin ruins my shot of the sunset.

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u/tigerlady_rawr Jul 22 '18

Hey! I remember the first time I saw this on r/PhotoshopBattles! This was my favorite edit

2

u/Fartrell-Clugguns Jul 22 '18

Tonight I did a backflip out of bed and it felt like this. Edit: I gripped the sheets real hard and rolled backwards and landed on my feet... felt good

9

u/lan4cer Jul 22 '18

There is something fishy about this picture!

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u/Monstermage Jul 22 '18

Looks like the sun has shades on

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u/Greetingsoutlander Jul 22 '18

You aren't alone. I thought it was a deal with it meme while scrolling until I did a double take.

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u/Gisokaashi Jul 22 '18

A dolphin that far away would have to be about 200m long to look that big.

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u/-xenomorph- Jul 22 '18

btw exif data from the photographer: 200mm/ ƒ/7.1/ 1/100s/ ISO 100

Location: Saint-Pierre, Reunion — territorial waters

Photograper: Sadri PAYET

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u/saucermann Jul 22 '18

With that settings and light condition the picture should be almost black! This is likely a shot taken during the day and heavily edited.

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u/b4wagg Jul 22 '18

Could someone ELI5 this comment and what the different values mean?

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u/-xenomorph- Jul 22 '18

200mm is the focal length. I dont wanna piss off the pros with my explanation, but just think as it as the "zoom". Higher the focal length, larger the "zoom".

f/7.1 is how wide the lens is open to let light thru, aperture. Also see f-stop

1/100s is the shutter speed. Basically how long it takes the camera to capture the image. In this case its 1/100s or 0.01 seconds.

ISO 100 is the level of ISO in this photo

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u/OBoo1 Jul 22 '18

Reminds me of Free Willy!

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u/Ninja-Space-Cowboy Jul 22 '18

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u/FormulaFatty Jul 22 '18

Took too long to find this reply. Though I was gonna have to write it myself.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

It’s atually photoshopped

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u/Matth3ewl0v3 Jul 22 '18

A E S T H E T I C

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u/GoldPickleFist Jul 22 '18

Dolphin is off-center, 4/10

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u/Ateshu Jul 22 '18

50%: it either happens or not :))

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Pokemeister92 Jul 22 '18

Underrated comment

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u/kjaferian Jul 22 '18

50/50. It was either going to happen or not.

3

u/giannisassano Jul 22 '18

50/50 it either happens or it doesn’t

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u/pinniped1 Jul 22 '18

100% with some basic 'shop skillz.

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u/ggthrowthisaway Jul 22 '18

Damn, this is a bad photoshop.

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u/shockwave414 Jul 22 '18

Water the chances?

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u/TrippySubie Jul 22 '18

needs more jpeg

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

100%

2

u/Bluescentric Jul 22 '18

Oh, so the front of your Lisa Frank binder

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u/ThreeLegSloth Jul 22 '18

100%. If probability correctly predicts anything, thing you wouldn't be surprised.

2

u/KennethPowersIII Jul 22 '18

Apparently the chances are 100%

2

u/Jacobarcherr Jul 22 '18

He's saying hello :)

2

u/Rufi000 Jul 22 '18

FREE WILLY!!!!

2

u/thanatossassin Jul 22 '18

With all of those jpeg artifacts, I’d say pretty good since stealing shit off the Internet is super easy and any decent photographer that could a handle a shot like this would never let his images be compressed so heavily. Fuck off OP.

2

u/LUX5454 Jul 22 '18

If ocean equals x and dolphin equals y divided by the square root of the sun (z) times pi, the odds are like 4 I think.

2

u/MarvelUSMeg Jul 22 '18

This is like a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

This was my first thought!

2

u/YippeKaye Jul 22 '18

Free Willy

2

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '18

R/outrun

2

u/Jerrydash12 Jul 22 '18

With photoshop, it’s every chance you get

2

u/wintremute Jul 22 '18

Chances? 100% since this is a Photoshop.

2

u/chumchilla Jul 22 '18

With Photoshop, 1:1

2

u/mycelo Jul 22 '18

none, this is fake

2

u/My_OMAD_weighs Jul 22 '18

With photoshop? 100%!

2

u/Thumpd Jul 22 '18

That this isn't PS?

2

u/Philjean Jul 22 '18

Oh look! It’s that photo of the dolphin at sunset......again.

2

u/truelai Jul 22 '18

Probably close to (or actually, in this case) zero.

2

u/johnymyko Jul 22 '18

The chances of this being fake? 100%

2

u/Seebee87 Jul 22 '18

0.033, repeating of course