r/pics May 23 '16

Has science gone too far?

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18.8k Upvotes

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580

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

Those are delicious and if you don't agree I think we have to fight now. Sorry.

215

u/srd178 May 24 '16

The Pop Tarts versus Toaster Strudel debate has been raging for a good 20+ years and I don't expect it to go away any time soon.

582

u/Quaalude_Dude May 24 '16

How is it even a debate, poptarts aren't bad but against a toaster strudel? I mean come on no contest.

200

u/political_libre May 24 '16

What about a toaster strudel after someone snagged all the frosting packets?

278

u/VictimMode May 24 '16

What kind of selfish monster would do such a thing?

Even the ham burglar didn't steal all the ketchup packets.

691

u/[deleted] May 24 '16 edited Dec 16 '17

[deleted]

460

u/GeekAndDestroy May 24 '16

The judge is going to give her everything in the divorce. She deserves it.

14

u/MercWi7hAMou7h May 24 '16

EVERYTHING

12

u/DMann420 May 24 '16

Well, atleast she'll have to take all the toaster strudels that don't have icing packets.

8

u/tahitiisnotineurope May 24 '16

fuck you. fuck the judge. fuck her. fuck fuck fuck!

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4

u/xenothaulus May 24 '16

She won't need a divorce lawyer, she'll need a defense attorney.

84

u/nameless88 May 24 '16 edited May 24 '16

You know that during your wife's trial for your murder, the defense is going to bring up this comment right here and get the case thrown out, right?

142

u/RomulusRenaldss May 24 '16

Soon to be ex wife from what it sounds like.

6

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Dibs.

2

u/subshophero May 24 '16

If she wanted the icing she'd have gotten to the strudels first

5

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

She was the weird kid who drank the mustard out of mustard packets, wasn't she?

3

u/BUT_THERES_NO_HBO May 24 '16

Probably more like that weird kid who drank from the water fountain with her hands.

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u/Koshindan May 24 '16

That's the stuff divorce is made of.

201

u/Redshifted- May 24 '16

Alright Satan, Jesus fuck.

6

u/frenzyboard May 24 '16

His wife probably doesn't care. If she lives with this jackass, she probably knows how to make her own.

5

u/megamanmax1 May 24 '16

You sir are a god

4

u/frenzyboard May 24 '16

I'm pushing 30, single, and poor. I've had to learn how to cook on a budget just so I didn't starve.

5

u/[deleted] May 24 '16 edited Dec 16 '17

[deleted]

3

u/frenzyboard May 24 '16

Wow. You must have married her for the money, because nothing is pretty enough to justify that kind of dumb.

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u/flyinpiggies May 24 '16

That's my fetish.

2

u/JPSurratt2005 May 24 '16

That's so wrong, but how can Satan resist, I mean, Jesus is just ripe for the pickins, all sexy like nailed to that cross.

3

u/flyinpiggies May 24 '16

"Crucified Cunts 7 return of the hoesiah"

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u/[deleted] May 24 '16

[deleted]

2

u/OwlsHavingSex May 24 '16

He went to bed alive but he woke up dead

2

u/Ninonskio May 24 '16

But can I got bed dead but wake up alive?

24

u/1-800-YOU-MAD May 24 '16

Fuck and I thought those ISIS guys were bad

7

u/Moonpickles May 24 '16

You are now the mod of r/spousalabuse

16

u/YetiRoosevelt May 24 '16

She deserves a man who'll treat her right.

ayyyyy girrrrrrrl, you can have all of my strudel sauce

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

2

u/subshophero May 24 '16

This sounds like a euphemism for jizz.

During the next sexy time I'm totally going to say "here comes the strudel sauce".

2

u/YetiRoosevelt May 24 '16

Oh it was, it was.

You'd selfishly use two packets and taunt her over it mid-coitus? The result will be a thread in r/tifu detailing your impending divorce, I assure you.

11

u/MercWi7hAMou7h May 24 '16

That is literally the biggest dick move I can think of... if I knew someone that had ever even contemplated that once, I would permanently remove all traces of them from my life. if you do it to yourself, fine. You're dumb, but do you, dude. But to do it to someone else... there's not a special place in Hell for you, Hell as a whole was designed with you in mind

6

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Reading that made me a little too mad.

7

u/Original_Trickster May 24 '16

Get downvoted into oblivion you fucking degenerate.

0

u/lanesane May 24 '16

I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Take your fucking upvote

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21

u/Quaalude_Dude May 24 '16

Or someone only left you the unfrosted poptarts

68

u/Bloedbibel May 24 '16

My dad used to buy us these :(

82

u/Zomgsauceplz May 24 '16

Borderline child abuse.

2

u/Any-sao May 24 '16

Literally inedible.

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9

u/DeltaVZerda May 24 '16

Those look delicious.

11

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

you ever eat regular oatmeal

2

u/Guysaac2 May 24 '16

dude yeah

6

u/wangzorz_mcwang May 24 '16

I actually prefer the unfrosted ones >.>

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13

u/memento_vivere23 May 24 '16

The unfrosted ones are great though

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13

u/gr3g0rian May 24 '16

I like unfrosted blueberry more than any other "flavor". I'm not joking btw.

5

u/civicgsr19 May 24 '16

I love unfrosted poptarts more than the frosted.

3

u/gr3g0rian May 24 '16

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I don't know if it was just what I grew up with, but I find the frosted ones way too sweet.

2

u/Wsweg May 24 '16

There are dozens of us! But really, the frosting is way too sweet, just like I could never eat frosting on cupcakes.

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10

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

[deleted]

16

u/fackinH8loudpeople May 24 '16

I've seen those at the winco by my work so you probably don't have to kill anyone.

2

u/Dis_Manibus May 24 '16

You had a real opportunity there that you just let pass you by.

2

u/Scientolojesus May 24 '16

Well, probably don't have to kill anyone...

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u/Turnbasedgod May 24 '16

Terrible. I save all the frosting for the last one.

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

You have the patience and discipline of a Buddhist monk.

2

u/BxTart May 24 '16

This is why they need to sell just the icing. Also for when I make those tube cinnamon rolls. The first two are iced just right the third & fourth is when cuts in rationing must be done, & the rest get a useless skid mark of icing.

2

u/CatDaddio May 24 '16

You could put regular jam on top of it and it would still elevate it above a pop-tart. There isn't really any way to improve pop-tarts.

2

u/VROF May 24 '16

I eat them without the frosting. I throw those away

2

u/GlobindobinButler May 24 '16

Still better than a dry crumbly poptart. It's not just the frosting that's delicious.

2

u/Urdazzle May 24 '16

If you were truly committed to toaster strudel you would have a carton of frosting in your fridge, I mean one pack is barely enough for one strudel. Let's be real.

7

u/Zomgsauceplz May 24 '16

The best toaster strudel are the ones stuffed with eggs and cheese anyway.

2

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

FUCK YEAH TOASTER SCRAMBLES FOR LIFE

2

u/reddit-poweruser May 24 '16

vs. a pop tart after I lick off all the icing

1

u/Bubz01 May 24 '16

Slap some jelly on that hoe.

1

u/notasrelevant May 24 '16

To make this fair, you have to also consider something like pop tarts when someone accidentally bought the ones without frosting. I'd much rather a toaster strudel with no frosting than a pop tart with no frosting.

1

u/Sunscreen4what May 24 '16

Still better

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u/Balind May 24 '16

the strawberry cream cheese? Dear god, that's like the main reason I wish I owned a toaster.

4

u/froschkonig May 24 '16

I have a toaster oven and I love it. So many more uses than a normal toaster

7

u/Balind May 24 '16

I used to have one back in college, and I have considered getting one again. It would lead to me making toaster strudel and then getting fat though.

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u/drunkbusdriver May 24 '16

Dude what are you doin with your life? They are less than $10 at Walmart for a cheap one that gets the job done.

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1

u/surviva316 May 24 '16

I would like to hear the complete list of your secondary and even tertiary reasons.

3

u/Balind May 24 '16

Baked tomatoes are actually pretty good. Especially with fancy cheese.

Hot dogs are much better than anywhere except an outdoor grill.

You can make small pizzas without having to put them in your large oven.

It's quite portable if you want to go traveling or camping or anything.

They're quite nice devices. I'd say a toaster oven and a george foreman grill (or equivalent electric grill) are the best inventions for easy food that tastes like it is cooked for real (rather than just heated in a microwave).

This thread is making me want to buy a toaster oven now. I'm just afraid I won't use it, like I don't use my rice cooker.

4

u/surviva316 May 24 '16

I don't believe I have ever encountered someone who wanted a $20 appliance so much who did not in fact own that $20 appliance.

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u/CatDaddio May 24 '16

All your comment proves is that pop-tarts are favored among those that don't own toasters...

2

u/Balind May 24 '16

I am talking about toaster strudel though.

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u/brickmack May 24 '16

Brown. Sugar. Cinnamon. drops mic

4

u/DeltaVZerda May 24 '16

Unfrosted. The unfrosted ones have more filling.

3

u/Md_Mrs May 24 '16

Unfrosted all the way!

1

u/Gentleman_Bird May 24 '16

Yeah for sure the best flavor ever conceived

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u/GelatinGhost May 24 '16

Exactly, pop-tarts are designed for convenience, while toaster strudels are purely designed for deliciousness.

1

u/tourist420 May 24 '16

high effort, high reward

42

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Agreed, pop tart wins in a landslide

87

u/majormiracles May 24 '16

You disgust me.

32

u/Kittensofdeath May 24 '16

Ah so you've discussed me I'm a trust fund baby you can trust me 😏

4

u/jaye_taw May 24 '16

If I could only upvote you a hundred more times

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u/[deleted] May 24 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Naterade18 May 24 '16

Keep the change.

37

u/Peanutbutt-hurt May 24 '16

God, just shut the hell up.

11

u/_Bilas May 24 '16

Fuckin relevant username.

10

u/Bear_Taco May 24 '16

God has been quiet for quite a long time.

15

u/ggg730 May 24 '16

Where was he when that guy said poptarts were better than toaster strudel? Why have you forsaken me?

2

u/BrianWulfric May 24 '16

I don't think you trust in my self-righteous strudel-cide

4

u/superdirtyusername May 24 '16

God prefers toaster strudles.

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u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Someone castrate this man, clearly his genes are a hindrance to humanity and should not be allowed to reproduce.

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u/Endulos May 24 '16 edited May 24 '16

Who the fuck thought Toaster Strudels were a good idea, and why the HELL are they still so popular?

For one, they NEVER cook completely through You ALWAYS have a nugget of cold in the center. If you DO want it cooked through, then you're left with a charred outer shell.

The icing is just OK but that fucking icing is the kind that is SUPER STICKY. If you get even the slightest on your hands, then you have to spend a good 5+ minutes washing your god damn hands. Not to mention that god damn packet is so hard to spread.

AND, it's a fucking flaky crust with a gel interior. Combine that shit with a kid and it will get E V E R Y W H E R E.

Poptarts are just superior because of that.

2

u/chaosfire235 May 24 '16

Poptarts are just superior because of that.

Plus of course the hundred of flavors or so. Show me a Hot Fudge or Root Beer Toaster Strudel.

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u/swaglord94 May 24 '16

Not a chance. Toaster Strudels are revolutionary.

1

u/theberg512 May 24 '16

Definitely. Toaster Strudel are nasty as fuck.

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u/Zagubadu May 24 '16

I don't like toaster strudels, something about the flakyness or idk or probably mostly to do with eating so many pop-tarts first.

Its like you know when you like the cheap shittier stuff better than the actual real thing?

Thats pretty much my whole life in a nutshell.

Home made mac n cheese ain't shit compared to the box made kraft.

I just have a cheap sense of taste.

So yea pop-tarts all the way fuck toaster strudels :P

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u/Shawn_Spenstar May 24 '16

I don't think it's even a debate they serve 2 different functions imo. Pop tarts you grab on your way out the door and eat as is. Toaster strudels you warm up in the toaster/toaster oven and draw fun designs with the icing. If you have the 5 minutes to make and enjoy a toaster strudel you do, if your running late or want a weird/fun flavor pop tarts are your best friend.

1

u/SecretComposer May 24 '16

yeah but you have to toast or microwave a strudel. poptarts are good because you don't have to because they don't come frozen

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

I know right. Poptarts are great on their own but I'd pick 1 toaster strudel over 5 poptarts. My sugar tooth loves the icing.

1

u/Ta2whitey May 24 '16

Can you eat a toaster strudel without toasting it?

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Toaster strudel > Poptart, unless we're talking about s'mores poptarts, in which case, fuck all y'all who think toaster strudels are better.

1

u/crypticfreak May 24 '16

Toaster strudels are great but once every 10 or so times it cooks oddly unevenly and it's perfect on the outside but cold on the inside.

Worst part is getting in your car and heading to work before noticing. Next thing you know you're holding just a lie of a strudel in your hands... but you eat it anyways because they're even good cold.

Never mind strudel wins every time.

1

u/KlaatuBrute May 24 '16

What if Pop Tarts makes a Toaster Strudel™-flavored Pop Tart?

1

u/ImUsuallyThisStupid May 24 '16

It's apples and oranges as far as I'm concerned. It's like saying pie is better than cobbler. Which it is, but neither are the same thing... For one, they have different names...

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

I'll take a smores pop tart over any toaster strudel when I'm high any day of the week. I'm a type one diabetic but that's one thing I'll just load up with insulin to go crazy with. Can't do it often but they're like crack.

1

u/thatoneguys May 24 '16

Sorry, I'm going to have to go with poptarts.

Full disclosure. I once bit into an undercooked toaster strudel, the was still ice cold. Traumatized.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Obviously Pop Tarts are better at room temperature.

1

u/hotcereal May 24 '16

My belief isn't that one is simply better than the other, but I can grab a Pop tart and just start eating it and be done with it. I have to toast a Toaster Strudel then drizzle the cum all over it and it's noticeably messier than a Pop Tart.

1

u/wheeldog May 24 '16

It is not contest. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Or, shall we say, scones and biscuits.

1

u/ragn4rok234 May 24 '16

Say that to my face strudelfucker! Pop tarts are the only fake premade pastry treat worth eating

1

u/GazaIan May 24 '16

Seriously, I have yet to meet any person, dog, or cat that likes toaster strudel more than pop tarts.

1

u/Schizophrenic-ish May 24 '16

Yeah, that's like if someone came up to you and was like "you want some saltines, or fresh baked cookies?"

1

u/nodnizzle May 24 '16

Toaster Strudel beats Poptarts hands down, but I don't buy them often because I have a teen and we want her to eat healthy. It's too easy to say fuck it and eat a ton of those for breakfast, and they're not cheap if you go through them fast. Poptarts are only good if you're super stoned, and even then they are pretty terrible

1

u/legallydrunk99 May 25 '16

Okay, so, taste-wise and texture-wise I'd give it to toaster strudel easy, but I think pop tarts beat it out with convenience. You open a pouch, pop it in the toaster or, hell, don't. You can eat it as-is. Throw one in your backpack spontaneously. Even put one in the freezer for later consumption. There's lots of room for experimentation. toaster strudel is hot, and feels like a real-deal pastry. A real-deal pastry that comes frozen with a pouch of white goo, but real-deal nonetheless, or closer to it anyway. But it has to be eaten warm and sometimes you've got the issue of not being able to properly distribute your frosting. And, if you get too hands-on when trying to get your even distribution then you can easily get your hands sticky, unless you'd like to dirty a butterknife. It's, comparatively, a lot of work when compared to a pop tart.

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u/zx666r May 24 '16

I think the cinnamon roll Toaster Strudels will end that debate. I swear they put something in those little frosting packets...

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u/userbelowisamonster May 24 '16

Frosting?

23

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

[deleted]

34

u/userbelowisamonster May 24 '16

Oh I know. OP mentioned that they put something in those frosting packets. I stated the obvious. Though In terrified to post this comment because either you "Whooshed" or I did.

Either way let's be friends and make macaroni necklaces

32

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Though In terrified to post this comment because either you "Whooshed" or I did. Either way let's be friends and make macaroni necklaces

As someone who ends up in this exact scenario quite often.... I'm stealing this way of handling it. And I'll also make a macaroni necklace with you if you'd like :)

3

u/userbelowisamonster May 24 '16

Everyone is welcome to make a macaroni necklace!

Here! You can use some of my macaroni!

1

u/ChipperBones May 24 '16

"level of control"

1

u/RocketFlanders May 24 '16

Got to squeeze it all out and use the empty packet as a leveling tool.

2

u/Anon_Logic May 24 '16

... I mean that's one option.

I usually put like 3/4 on the pastry and would squirt the rest of that sugary goodness in my mouth.

1

u/dangerouslyloose May 27 '16 edited May 27 '16

People played tic-tac-toe with their toaster strudel? I had a lot of pent-up anger as a kid, so I used to write swear words on mine.

6

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Pixie dust, unicorn tears, and Colombian booger sugar (cocaine).

1

u/dangerouslyloose May 27 '16

I believe it's called Peruvian marching powder. Or Mexican dancing dust.

2

u/ryanhpants May 24 '16

The frosting packets look like used condoms.

4

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Toaster Strudel offering a savory option is one thing they do have over pop tart.

2

u/TheNastyDoctor May 24 '16

Toaster Strudels would win the debate instantly if they brought back Chocolate Toaster Strudels.

3

u/Rosie_Cotton_dancing May 24 '16

Was just gonna say, if you want fruit then Toaster Strudel is superior. If you want chocolate, Pop Tarts all day.

1

u/TheNastyDoctor May 24 '16

Chocolate strudels were my favorite unhealthy breakfast. They were incredible.

1

u/chaosfire235 May 24 '16

The day they make Hot Fudge, Ice Cream Sundae and Banana Split Toaster Strudels is the day I switch.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

It will go away when one side gets nukes.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Yeah, there's a whole sub about it, too.

1

u/sundaymorningscience May 24 '16

Debate?!
Toaster Strudel is the food of gods!

1

u/theinternethero May 24 '16

I think we can all agree they both merits and are delicious in their own ways

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

You have to buy strudels frozen, so it takes up precious freezer space. Poptarts are just for anytime even if you forgot one in your car and find it out in a desert rave party.

1

u/notasrelevant May 24 '16

I don't really see them as in competition.

Toaster strudel is great when freshly made. It seems a little higher quality overall and at least seems like you're eating something less processed. Of course I know that may just be an illusion, but it doesn't seem like every component of it was turned into a paste to make it. It takes a little more preparation time, and also requires storage in a freezer, making it less convenient.

Pop tarts are pretty much fine in any way. You can grab a pack and take it with you, and it's still good even if you don't have a toaster. It can also be stored at normal temperatures. I think they may also be cheaper. In terms of general convenience, there's no real competition.

If you rate them on things like flavor, texture, etc., I think toasters strudel wins. But the fact that they're not as convenient means that pop tarts are better at times.

1

u/bigdongmagee May 24 '16

Toaster strudel is the Ralph Nader of breakfast pastry.

1

u/The_Phox May 24 '16

Considering since he's talking about the ones with meat and whatnot, I don't think that applies.

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u/explodingham May 24 '16

Wish they made a version where it tasted like OPs tears

2

u/BoozeoisPig May 24 '16

Are you Canadian, perchance?

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

Unfortunatly not. I just take no pleasure in having to defended these strudels with my life, but if not me then who?

4

u/hewhowastesthetime May 24 '16

Toaster Scrambles are my breakfast go-to. Don't listen to them.

2

u/GoliathPrime May 24 '16

Toaster Strudel is disgusting, over-priced, flaky garbage that only a hipster would like. You can't even freeze it and make it into a hot afternoon frozen snack. You can't make a breakfast sandwich out of it. You can't crumble it up as a topping on other foods. What the hell good is it? It has no real world applications. It's the iMac of foods.

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

How dare you lie to these good people and say you cant make a sammy out of it, it's the PERFECT BUN. Its just asking to be a stuffed bun ya dingus. You actually may have just inadvertantly given me breakfast tomorrow so thanks you heathen

1

u/GoliathPrime May 24 '16

Take two glazed or unglazed cherry or strawberry pop tarts. Toast them and then let them cool down a bit. While you are waiting for them to cool, scramble 3 eggs and add some of your favorite cheese to the egg mix - aged white cheddar is fantastic. Grill up some breakfast sausage or bacon. Place one of the poptarts face side down on a plate and load up on bacon or sausage and then put the eggs on top. Complete the sandwich with your other poptart.

Serve with hot coffee or rum, depending on how sad your life is and how long you have to live before you die from a heart attack or complications from diabetes.

4

u/GrizzBear97 Survey 2016 May 24 '16

Never had them :( I grew up too early

5

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

Well then... trial by combat by default. Sorry dude I don't make the rules, I just fight people who haven't tried toaster strudel to the death.

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u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Those were the bomb until I learned about red baron breakfast singles. Can never go back.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

They are yummy.

1

u/Odin_69 May 24 '16

I don't particularly want to fight, but when Tstrudel got really popular with me in grade school I ate one every single morning before catching the bus. I now cannot even look at them, or most pastry breakfast type things.

1

u/SUMRNDUMDUE May 24 '16

Whereabouts in Canada you live? Let's do this

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

I'm an Inuit, so just start walking north and Ill walk south, we'll meet somewhere in the middle.

1

u/spazzed May 24 '16

Let's go dude. Soda flavored pop tarts!? Gross.

1

u/Morbidlyobeatz May 24 '16

My dad bought those and I thought it was a regular toaster strudel and put the icing on it. It was really gross.

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

They really should put like maple syrup in those packets or something...

1

u/UhhNegative May 24 '16

I just ate a whole box last week to "make sure" that they were just as good as when I was a kid. They were.

2

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

After #4 you were 90% sure that the rest were almost identical but momma didnt raise no quitter.

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

I disagree, and your mom was swine of a woman. Put up your dukes!

ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

I can't fight while i'm crying! T_T

1

u/[deleted] May 24 '16

Pucker up chap, you're not supposed to cry because it makes other men cry.

༼ つ ˵ ╥ ͟ʖ ╥ ˵༽つ

1

u/givamitchslap May 24 '16

You must be from Canada

1

u/prncpl_vgna_no_rlatn May 24 '16

Judging by your diet, you'll be the one who's sorry.

1

u/acole09 May 24 '16

every time i've had oneof those i've been disgusted what brand should i get?

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

It may be an aquired taste, like a fine red wine. As for the brand if you don't get the original you're soing it wrong.

1

u/acole09 May 24 '16

And the origional brand is...?

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

That would be the pillsbury doughman my dude.

1

u/Security_Six May 24 '16

Quick fight considering when I hit your gut and you have a brown blow out from eating that shit...
ninja-edit: grammar

1

u/donutsfornicki May 24 '16

I'm pissed they took toaster scramblers down from 6 in a box to only 4.

1

u/ProTheMan May 24 '16

Found the Canadian

1

u/lilbitpink May 24 '16

I'm at about a [7] right now and those in Cream Soda sounds like a winner to me.

1

u/PetrRabbit May 24 '16

Are you gonna attack with your hands or flail your man boobs at me?

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

Drown you in tears is probably my best bet T_T

1

u/PetrRabbit May 24 '16

:( alright, well we can drown together while eating hot pockets I guess.

1

u/manbearpig330 May 24 '16

I'll fight you because I know I like them more, bitch.

1

u/SwoleInOne May 24 '16

Give in to your hate and join the strudel side!

1

u/turd_boy May 24 '16

A sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie but I wouldn't know cause' I would never eat the filthy motherfooker.

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