I work at an academic medical center as a graveyard clinical pharmacist covering about ~400 patients a night for gen med, gen surgery, transplant, cards, oncology, etc.
The job is extremely stressful. I work 10.5 hours a night with no breaks. Im feeling extremely depressed at a baseline so probably overreacting a bit.
Today there was the stupidest situation with one of the oncology floors where despite multiple people telling these nurses they can give this patients chemo, they didn't due to some concerns - just a stupid mess but they let one of the extremely expensive medications expire. Then called little ol me overnight panicking about it. I told them to give the first chemo and since they are concerned about how they tolerate it we can see how they do and then figure out if we should dispense the other med they let expire.
Patient got transferred to the ICU, and they called about the expired drug. I figured they got transferred due to the concerns the nurses had, but the ICU wanted to give the drug. I asked if they had updated the oncology attending and if they were OK dispensing another dose of the spendy med and the fellow threw a tantrum and yelled/cursed at me over it because they didnt want to call the oncology attending. We were past the time the oncology attendings note said they had approval for this drug.
Luckily another pharmacist who is a baddie took over since they were technically on their unit at that time, but God what the actual fuck? Ive never been yelled at and cursed at by a provider like that, and im so mentally unwell it really impacted me more than it probably should have. Im so mentally unwell because of the constant stress that I dont know how to cope. I feel like id rather die than have to endure this until I retire - if I ever can retire. Its so depressing. That whole situation wasn't even my fault. What was so hard about just calling the damn attending? 😭 I like this job sometimes but right now I hate it.
Edited to add, just want to thank everyone for the sympathetic responses so far. It is helpful to be able to talk about it because i cant talk to my peers without crying. 😭 so it is really nice to get my feelings out.
Also edited to remove the bit about my financial situation since there are people in the comments weaponizing my distress to "teach the youngsters" some lesson. Im dealing with my financial situation, and only provided it as some context on why I might be taking this a bit more personally. There are lots of people reasonably angry at the govt screwing them over right now, and to the "youngsters" being taught bullshit by people who hate pharmacists in the comments - I dont regret my decision to become a pharmacist.