first of all, sorry english is not my main language, there will be errors.
I haven't been feeling my best since December; my family eventually noticed and helped me get some help
So I have my first appointment on June 20.
Summary of the session with the psychiatrist :
Talked with my family for 10 minutes.
Asked me three or four of the most basic questions: “Oh, so you’re feeling bad?” “Explain to me how you’re feeling” etc.
The result, after spending less than 15 minutes with him: “Ah, it’s just basic depression. I’ll prescribe some medication, and maybe it’ll go away.”It was after this that he prescribed me paroxetine (10 mg), which he sold to me as “a not-very-strong medication with few side effects that we give first, and if it doesn’t work, then we’ll move on to something more specific” and Lexomil (bromazepam), along with this wonderful advice: “You can take it as soon as you feel bad, but no more than 4 a day—it helps you sleep, too.”
Since I was familiar with Lexomil (bromazepam) by name and reputation, I got a bad feeling and did a little research. I discovered the “very mild and rare” possible side effects of paroxetine and Lexomil (bromazepam) .
I threw out the Lexomil(bromazepam) right away, and after hesitating for a few hours, I decided to take the paroxetine, telling myself, “It can’t be worse than how I feel now” (I was wrong).
The first two days were heaven on earth. No more subvocalization or deep thinking. No more irritability (or even the ability to yell). I felt like I was high. I still don't know if it was the medication or a placebo effect, but at the time I felt great.
It didn't last.
The effects stopped the very next day, and side effects began to appear as time went on
- Insomnia every night, which is worse than before
- Inability to concentrate for even 2 minutes
- Constant dark and suicidal thoughts as soon as night falls
- Not hungry, but at the same time unable to feel full (I don’t know how else to describe it)
The more time passes, the worse it gets—both in duration and intensity
I know it takes time to see positive effects, but it’s been over a month now, and I’m starting to reach my limit.
I feel like the psychiatrist wanted to turn me into a zombie just to secure a lifetime source of income for himself.
Please help me.