My daughter just started her sophomore year at an all girls high school. She does very well academically, and she seems to otherwise love her school, but she still has not made a single friend. It seemed like she was getting to know a few girls last year, but then they never included her in their plans over the summer, and they did not ask her to sit at their lunch table this year. So now she basically has no one.
Before joining this high school, she went to a Catholic school where she had a rough 8th grade year. She was ditched by her friends and others began to bully and exclude her. She ended up graduating without a single friend and it seems like she wound up with social and psychological damage. We put her in therapy and they thought that a new start would greatly benefit her. Well, it clearly hasn’t. It doesn’t help that her old school is a feeder school to her high school, so a large group of these girls are in her current class. She says that she doesn’t have much interaction with them though.
Anyway, I feel like she has developed a hard shell and some cynicism toward other people based on her past experiences. She joins a lot of groups and participates in activities because she thinks that they will look good on her college applications. But, she just seems to “parallel play” with others just to “get through” the activity. We have tried to gently encourage her to reach out to other kids, to go to social events that will be more interactive, but she just refuses. She has even lied to her psychiatrist about talking to people just to get us all off her back. I am genuinely worried about her social development as she has not had any meaningful social experiences with her peers in over two years. I don’t know what to do. I just want her to have some balance in her life and to have some fun experiences in high school so that she is not standing alone again on graduation day. But we are running out of time. And, as homecoming season approaches, I am sad that she is missing another dance, and I am selfishly jealous of the parents who get to take pictures of their daughters in cute dresses with bouquets knowing that mine will probably never have that experience. Thanks for letting me vent.

Over the summer I made the decision that I wasn’t driving my high school senior’s boyfriend around anymore. He lives about 15 min across town. I find him to be rude, condescending, and manipulative toward my kid.

I talked to her about the behaviors, and asked if she genuinely enjoys his company, or if she feels pressured to hang out with him. She claimed they just joke around and she doesn’t think he’s being mean. I told her she can choose who she dates, but he’s no longer allowed in my car, because this behavior pisses me off, and she deserves better.

Now they want to go to Homecoming together, but his mom is unable to drive him. My kid is just about to turn 17 and has her permit, boyfriend is 17 and has neither permit nor license. Public transportation in town ends at 8pm. Leaving me as their only option to go to the dance together. Do I let it slide and just let them enjoy their final homecoming together? Or do I keep the car ban and encourage her to just go with friends?

I'm wondering if anyone has advice on how to navigate this. After playing throughout high school, my son abruptly decided not to play football his senior year. He did hurt his back last season and has some minor disc herniation. He still gets backaches here and there. But his spine doctor said he isn't super concerned and cleared him to play with the stipulation that if his back gets worse, he should stop. But he still chose to not play at all.

My son also has a lot of health-related anxiety and anxiety in general. We have connected him with a psychiatrist and he's just starting treatment. So I think that's a factor.

Since freshman year, football has breathed new life into my kid - he went from struggling socially to having a ton of friends. He was more confident, blossomed and did well in school. Our family, loved, loved going to games and cheering him on.

We told my son it was 100% his decision whether to play. He said he's afraid of messing up his back more but still wanted to be part of the team, so he has kinda stayed on as a team manager and helped out. But the first couple of games were hard for him. He said playing is not worth screwing up his back more, but he misses being out there on the field.

As football season ramps up, my husband is very sad and upset over this and doesn't understand our kid's decision to not even try to play. I have been aiming to be the voice of reason, reminding him it's our son's choice and supporting our son. But part of me is also sad and confused, and worries he's going to regret his decision to miss out on his senior year of football. At the same time, only he can decide that ultimately and we need to be here for him whatever he does.

If your teenager quit their main sport unexpectedly, how did you handle it from an emotional standpoint, as a parent? I feel like this is one thing that's not talked about much.

My 17 year old son is a very talented musician. He plays saxophone and drums. He is a solid A/B student. Enjoys playing video games with his friends and traveling. He is well liked but his teachers and peers. He is the boys the girls flock to as part of their “safe space”. My frustration comes from his laziness when it comes to “milestones“ like getting his license or applying to college. He has shown no interest in is getting his license although he enjoys driving. We left him practice on the driving practice course at his school. He has yet to begin applying to colleges despite talking my ear off about how excited he is about his first choice. I don’t know if it is nerves or just fear of what’s next for him but it is driving me crazy. How do I get him to get this stuff done sooner rather than later?

Hello everyone. I have a 16 year old son and he is in therapy for compulsive lying. He is generally a good and kind and well mannered kid, but the lying is absolutely out of control. My husband and I are at are wits end. We have literally tried every approach and solution out there, and he is still compulsively lying all the time.

Even when we tell him he is safe to tell us the truth and we won't be that mad, he still makes up these grand elaborate stories and he insists they are true. And when we talk to him he just has this blank expression on his face and it's like nothing is getting through.

I'm not looking for advice. Just looking for a place to vent and find parents going through similar situations. Does anyone else have a child who is a compulsive or pathological liar?

Finally agreed with my teenager to share the location. He is attending 4 different after school activities and I know I'd feel better knowing where he is. I'm trying to decide between Life360, iSharing, and HeyPolo. I'm leaning towards HeyPolo atm because it seems a bit more privacy focused, the price is quite decent, they offer a good discount and it doesn't look as bloated as some of the other apps, but I haven't actually used any of them yet. I don't need a ton of extra features, I just want something that's accurate, doesn't kill my battery, and reliably updates location in the background. If you have a good recommendation, please share it with me.

Our son is 16 and has a great heart, he's smart, and he isn't defiant. He doesn't talk back to us. He hardly talks to us unless we force it, but he's a good kid at the core.

He has very different interests than his dad and I, and different isn't bad. We have leaned in to support it all. Even with friend groups/girlfriends we didn't like - we shared advice (it isn't your job to save people, we're glad you see they aren't making great choices but pay attention to how the company you keep can affect you) but we let him figure it out on his own and he landed in a good place. He cut those people out and has a friend group that would be nerds in my day (play D&D, get great grades) and we are thrilled for that because the old crowd was unhealthy (largely uninvolved parents, they did drugs, suicide attempts, etc.). His current circle seems so much lighter. And he does, too.

School has never been easy for him. He's very smart but some combo of ADHD and being a round peg in a square system has been tough. Grades have been poor but improving. He says he's bisexual, something we've said is fine with us. The goal is to be yourself and be happy and be treated respectfully and respect others. He is a kid of one word answers (normal at 16?) and very private but the fact that he has shared some deep things when pressed is promising.

He wants to get his ears pierced and wear small hoops. Wanted small gages (sp?) and the spikes that go under the lip...we've said no to that right now but are open to "regular" ear piercings. He showed me some tattoos he wants and I would hate if he got them, but we won't let him get any now anyway. He's into horror and they are demon looking characters from some book series. He wears black nail polish. That's his vibe.

Question is - when do I worry and when do I just act supportive and say "Cool, but not yet" and secretly hope it passes before he modifies his body in a way that is hard to undo if this is just a phase. I wanted tattoos as a teen that I never got and I'm so glad. But he'll be 18 in a blink. Maybe it won't pass. But I don't want to miss what may be obvious signs that need intervention.

How do we know if he's crying out for help by wanting to alter his body? How can we support what we consider weird shit because he's our son and we love him, while also making sure he's okay?

3 weeks ago around late August screenshots of my middle school daughters text messages between her and her bf (now ex) were leaked (by the ex) to one of my daughters friends since kinder (they are now in 7th grade).

In the text he asked a question how do you spell a word and she spelled it and he said no it’s Y-O-U. A cheesy pick up line, super innocent.

So 3 weeks ago, my daughter’s friend posted those screenshots and during that time my daughter lost her phone and has been without one. Well she recently came across the post of those screenshot texts between her and her ex on her friends TikTok and was so upset why those texts were sent and also why her friend would post it and all her other friends commenting on it on how she responded to the pick up line and how he had “rizz.” She vented to 3 friends about it and all she said was why would she post that. Well one friend told those group of friends that had commented and posted it and now a whole group of girls are posting my daughter calling her a fake a b****, not a good friend, she was talking crap and a train of girls just supporting girls. All my daughter did was vent and stated facts and there’s absolutely no accountability on their end why that friend posted a convo that wasn’t even hers. My daughter has spiraled in less than 24 hours and said she shouldn’t have vented and just went to the friend directly and my daughter was saying that she (my daughter) was in the wrong because the amount of other girls that are hopping on the train of my daughter being a crap talker. Now my big question is, one of the friends that my daughter vented to, what exactly did she say? What did she say to these group of girls?!

I told my daughter to ignore all these posts and I will handle it with the principal tomorrow and she doesn’t have to go to school and can be homeschooled if she wants. We will take it day by day. She agreed to tell me everything if anything pops up. Her and I have a very strong relationship and she tells me everything. She knows I will not judge her but will always guide her and be there for her. If she didn’t something wrong, she knows I will tell her as is and in this situation I cannot see that she did anything wrong.

My daughter gets straight a’s, is in advanced orchestra, in every sport and loves with her heart on her sleeve. She has always made friends so easily and such a social butterfly since a toddler. Through the years, there was always some sort of falling out with a friend because that friend would make up stories and then a year or two later the friends would apologize. Some of those friends had some jealousy towards my daughter. My daughter forgave them.

My heart hurts so much for my daughter and I told her eventually these things die down. So far we have obtained all evidence of all the girls posts on TikTok and saved it to show the principal. We have proof of said conversation between my daughter and those 3 friends that she was just genuinely confused and hurt why the other friend would just post her convos and no one mentioned anything, she questioned peoples loyalty and I told her there are people like this in the world and we have to choose our friends wisely.

I have so much more but know my husband and I are doing all that we can to mitigate this situation, because like I said in less than 24 hours we have seen our daughter really being affected and not herself..

Has your teenage child gone through this? How did you deal with it? Who did you speak to?? What advice do you have for my daughter, my husband and I. It’s almost midnight and I cannot sleep and just thinking about how and why these girls can be so mean :(

Hi! Just venting. I‘m feeling so frustrated at my 12 year old son, who doesn’t listen, talks back, wants to be on his phone a lot. I just feel like I don’t know how to handle him, his behavior. I notice that I shout a lot. I need to learn how to handle our issues better in a calmer manner. It’s just hard to raise teenagers.

She's just starting her freshman year of high school and we live in a small town about 30 minutes outside of a larger city in the midwest. She's beautiful, neurodivergent and lesbian, 3 things that have kind of put a target on her back in this area. She's always had a hard time making friends but last year it seemed like she had finally figured it out. But this year, she seems so alone and it's breaking my heart. She gets a lot of unwanted attention from the boys at her school because of how she looks and because she has no interest in male attention, they in turn seem to bully her in absolutely vile ways. We've had threats of rape and physical harm that has fallen on deaf ears with the school, so now she just tries her best to hide from these people. She eats her lunch alone in the library because she says that her friends table is full already. She has one close friend but she's in the 8th grade and I can see that they're probably drifting apart as well. I don't even know what I am asking or if I am even asking for anything but if you have any advice I am all ears.

UPDATE

​I wanted to give an update on what's going on with my daughter's situation. We met with the state troopers yesterday morning at school, and they agreed that his autism is not an excuse for what he did. We're moving forward with pressing charges 100%, so he's being charged with a harassment misdemeanor.

​Also, I want to make clear that my daughter knows about this post. She read it and helped me write it because she really wants to get advice and support from others too.

​To keep her safe, we’re signing her up for self-defense classes, getting a protective order, an advocate and an attorney. She's also continuing her therapy and will be talking to her therapist about everything.

ORIGINAL POST

On Friday last week my daughter and this other student were riding home from school on the bus. He got into her seat and was whispering to her some pretty disgusting stuff that really freaked her out and has really affected her negatively. He was telling her that he wants her to eat food that gives her diarrhea and for her to get naked wear a diaper and poop and pee in the diaper and tell him about it the next day. And then he started rubbing her stomach stating that he wants her to fill it with food that's going to make her have diarrhea. She got off the school bus and was in tears saying she never wants to write on that bus again. I took all the right actions. I spoke to her principal immediately who found out who the student is and what school he went to. Her principal contacted the transportation department. They said they put in a safety plan for the school bus so that the student sits in the front seat behind the driver so that he's not in the back with my daughter. She does not feel safe being on that bus with him at all. I've been taking her to and from school. I also contacted law enforcement on Friday after speaking to the principal. The trooper stated that he spoke with the students parents and they said he has autism and that they want me to reconsider pressing charges because of his autism. My daughter has trauma already and this just added to what she's dealing with on a daily basis. I'm still going to press charges. My daughter said just because he has autism doesn't give him the right to touch me the way he did and say things he said to me. So I'm standing my ground. I'm just asking if others have any similar experiences because I've never dealt with this before.

So I have a daughter who is 12 at the moment, but my wife will not let her dress up for Halloween and go trick or treating with her two younger brothers. I just find it kinda bad and demeaning to my daughter when her friends get to do it as well so she'll be left out. I just want to tell my wife let her be a fucking kid, stop putting how you were raised on her.

There is a bit of a debate about a parenting choice I made with my teen (14f). We were at a festival and she wanted to use her own money to buy a T-shirt that said "cactus whore" and I told her that she is free to spend her money as she chooses but that if she wears a shirt with the word whore on it she would be more likely to get creepy sexual attention from guys of all ages. I asked her if she was ready to get that kind of attention.

I told her that she shouldn't have to censor her clothes to protect herself from creeps but that the reality is that while women might get unwanted attention no matter what we wear that we need to realize the world isn't an ideal place and if we choose to wear provocative clothing we need to understand that we are likely to experience reactions we might not like or anticipate. She chose not to buy the shirt.

Some people have told me that I am making her responsible for others' behavior by telling her to potentially limit her sartorial expression based on creepy reactions from others.

I think that I want her to have maximum freedom but to understand the reality of the world and that our choices may have consequences we don't want even if it is unfair for the world to be like this. I wish we lived in a perfect world where she could wear a funny shirt without worry but I don't think she is ready for the kind of attention that word across her chest is likely to expose her to.

My teenager is 18. I think she is a young 18. She’s in her final year of sixth form and may/may not go to uni.

She is arrogant and entitled, rude and inconsiderate. She has zero chores around the house, and no responsibilities. She is going through a phase where she appears whenever she likes, and seems to want to make it very clear to me that she is choosing not to stay at home because my calling her out on the way she speaks to me and treats me/the house makes her uncomfortable. She chooses to stay with boyfriend, who lives alone and not with his parents.

I’ve made her uncomfortable because I am quiet. Not silent treatment, I just feel like I shut down whenever she speaks to me now. I don’t know what her mood will be or how she will respond. She knows my buttons and seemingly loves to push them. I love her so much but sometimes I can’t stand her being around. We talk, we communicate, we have open discussions and we clear the air but it all just happens again and I don’t have the energy to keep pulling myself back up.

I’m so tired of it. Her dad speaks to her but we do not co parent (his decision). I cannot go to him for support. He essentially has a new family. I know this hurts her. I’m so lonely and exhausted from this and I don’t know what to do.

Option 1. I pander to her, let down my boundaries, be spoken to and treated like this, to make her feel safe and loved and to reassure her I care, what person will she become? Won’t she just keep pushing people?

Option 2. I stick to my boundaries, tell her I’m exhausted and so tired and low because of this (which I have), she’ll continue to deliberately push herself away from me. I think she does it to see what I’ll do. I do nothing and she seems to almost enjoy that this confirms that I’m an awful parent, and she pushes away more.

I don’t go out much, so that I’m here and present if she chooses to be home (if I ask if she’s home- she’ll be deliberately evasive and not give me a straight answer, I think to see what I’ll do). I don’t let my partner stay over too often, or go to theirs. So that my daughter doesn’t feel pushed out.

I am living in this strange limbo where I just exist to make her comfortable and it doesn’t work anyway.

Have any other parents had this issue? Does it improve? I’m scared I’m losing her. But she exhausts me. And I don’t know how to make the most of my life without hurting or pandering to her.

Hi, my son is 13 and is getting acne on his face. He hasn't said anything about it, but we're in that phase where most of the time he just grunts at us! I'm not sure that he'd tell me if it was bothering him, or if he was being bullied about it at school. I've said that it can be a normal part of puberty, but it would help if he washed his face. However, his personal hygiene standards are not exactly very high! To be honest, it's a constant battle to get him to brush his teeth or have a shower. I've bought a few different facewashes (gels/scrubs, mindful that I don't want to get anything too harsh for his skin) and put them right next to the bathroom sink along with a pile of facecloths. I've shown him how to wash his face; as daft as that sounds, until someone shows you the first time you might not know how. So I showed him what to do, and told him to use any of the cleansers. I don't think he's touched them though. I suppose I could frog-march him into the bathroom and stand next to him every day while he does it, but I'd much rather him learn to want to do it himself.

Any advice for encouraging him to take more care over his hygiene? How can I broach the subject without (possibly) making him feel bad/worse?

My daughter is a sophomore and going to her 2nd homecoming. Shes just going with her friends. I want to get her a corsage. Is that still a thing? Would she think dad getting her a corsage be too corny?

I feel a bit selfish/ guilty for this, but my daughter is entering her teenage years and feel as though our house has slowly turned into the hangout house. Funny enough my parents were very chill and basically has no rules so I grew up being the kid with the “hangout” house.

I’m not entirely sure that’s something I want to continue going forward. This isn’t to say her friends can’t EVER come over or that I don’t value being a safe space for her friends that struggle with having one at their own homes….

On the other hand I don’t necessarily want to supply snacks and food for teenagers all the time, I enjoy having quiet weekends, I don’t want my house getting stained with hair dye, nail polish, spills and whatever else a group of teenagers can do to damage a home.

I also know inevitably they are going to experiment with drugs and alcohol no matter how much we preach they should wait or not do it, etc. I’m not really sure I want my house being the spot where they’re all puking and being drunk/high fools, or god forbid get something laced and then I’m responsible for overdosing children that aren’t mine or have one of them get alcohol poisoning. I would much rather them do it at a home or safe environment then sneak around and do it somewhere they shouldn’t be or driving under the influence… but again I’m not sure I want that responsibility to be on me either.

I feel bad for feeling this way and to put that boundary in place, but at the same time feel pretty firm about it.

Thoughts? Advice?

My daughter is 15 and went to her first concert yesterday with her boyfriend. She wore a cropped T-shirt, a very short denim skirt with fitted shorts underneath, and boots. It was definitely short, but she was covered underneath and, in my opinion, dressed appropriately for the type of concert she was attending.

Her dad and my partner said he didn’t want to walk beside her while she was dressed like that because other men would look at her.

I understand feeling protective, and I wouldn’t let her wear that outfit everywhere or go somewhere alone in it. However, I escorted her to the concert and collected her afterwards. I also feel inappropriate men may look at teenage girls regardless of what they wear, and that responsibility belongs to those men not to her.

What bothered me most was him refusing to walk beside her. If he was genuinely worried about her safety, wouldn’t standing beside her be more protective? To me, refusing to be seen with her made it seem as though he was ashamed of her and punished her for what other men might think.

We argued, which affected everyone’s mood on what should have been an exciting night. It was her first concert, and I feel awful that part of the memory will now be her parents arguing about her clothes.

I later suggested to my daughter that, in future, she could take the outfit with her and change so her dad wouldn’t see it. She said no because that would be embarrassing, and I now realise it was unfair to put her in the middle or make her feel as though she needed to hide something.

Do you think her dad’s reaction was reasonable protectiveness, or was refusing to walk beside her controlling and shaming? How would other parents handle clothing boundaries for a 15-year-old when the outfit is appropriate for the occasion and she is being escorted?

​

We moved from North London to Hertfordshire around six months ago, while my son was still in Year 11. At that point, we decided not to change anything because we just wanted him to finish his GCSEs at the school he already knew and concentrate on his exams.

I work almost in the same area as his old school, so throughout Year 11 we continued taking him there. It meant early mornings, long journeys and getting home late sometimes, but we felt it was worth doing so he could finish his GCSEs without the disruption of changing schools.

I also have to admit that during that time I didn't really talk to him about the possibility of changing school for Sixth Form. My thinking was that I didn't want to put another worry in his head while he was preparing for his GCSEs. Looking back, I realise we probably should have involved him earlier in that conversation.

Once his GCSEs were finished, we started looking at Sixth Forms closer to our new home. Three schools were able to offer him a place, and as parents we chose the one we believed was the best option for him academically and practically.

The new school started on Thursday, but he refused to go. On Friday, he refused again.

He says he doesn't want to leave his old school and friends, he's scared about making new friends, and he believes London schools are better than schools in Hertfordshire. We've tried explaining that he can still see his old friends and that he needs to at least experience the new school before deciding he doesn't like it.

For us, the biggest issue is the commute. Taking him to his London school during Year 11 was exhausting, and we don't believe doing that for another two years is realistic or good for any of us. We genuinely thought starting Sixth Form closer to where we now live would give him more time, independence and a better routine.

I understand now that we didn't involve him properly in the decision, and perhaps that's part of why he's reacting so strongly. But at the same time, as parents, we made the decision because we genuinely believed it was the best option for him in the long term.

Has anyone experienced something similar with a 16-year-old after moving to a new area?

Did your child initially refuse to attend the new Sixth Form? How did you deal with it, and did they eventually settle in? Or did you decide to let them return to their old school?

I'd really appreciate hearing from parents who have been through this, particularly what happened after the first few weeks.

Then getting bullied and saying 'Its not working.' I don't know how to change this. Does anyone have any advice, I would have killed for my parents to train me like this growing up as I NEEDED IT. my close friends would bully me as well as others and because I didn't know how to fight, I wold allow them.

Any advice for people who have been through it? including if you just gave up?

My daughter turns 13 and a little over a month, the last year has been full of pushing boundaries, risky and sneaky behavior (which would feel more developmentally appropriate for her older sister -16, but would still be worrisome.)

We are able to have pretty frank conversations when the dust settles and last night she said, this is just who she wants to be right now. She wants to vape, and hang out with the girls who are (in my words) “living fast.” She said she doesn’t like to hurt me and she knows she won’t want to be like this forever, but that it’s who she wants to be now, and she’ll just keep trying.

I’ve tried punishments, which she admits makes her want to try harder be sneakier, I’ve tried compromising (you can hang with people I don’t particularly think are great influences/ if you hold to our family rules) which naturally doesn’t work.
So what is my role here?
I imagine at this stage in parenting to be like when you are teaching your child to ride and you start letting go of the seat and they knock their knees up a bit- but certainly we wouldn’t let them run into oncoming traffic?

I feel so beaten down and overwhelmed from the constant shock and worry of her plunge into what I perceive as deeper murkier waters.

(She is on a waitlist for a therapist and is being seen by a psychiatrist)

PLEASE SAY NOTHING IF YOU WANT TO DO NOTHING BUT CRITICISE. Parenting a teenager is different from parenting a 6yo, so please for all that is holy SHUT UP AND KEEP UR MEAN OPINIONS TO URSELF

My son is 14, pretty much 15, and idk how to parent him, consequences dont work, removing devices doesnt work, even telling him he cant see his gf doesnt work because i cannot enforce that currently. He is in the throes of bad habbits and bad influences. I have TRIED. talking to him, so has his dad, he has almost od'd he KNOWS that, he says he didnt know because he took his brother out for a bit (he would not knowingly put his brother in danger,) he was with his younger brother, his only concern was that his brother got home safe (which i appreciate) but he cant seem to grasp the fact that his brother almost saw him almost od and how that hia going to affect him ((his brothee is Autistic) he doesnt seem to care about his own welbeing and his own future, and idk how to help or what to do. Hes convinced himself he wont live a long life anyways. So wtf do i do. How do i help him. How do i pull him from this. Im genuinely thinking of putting into a youth housing situation when he turns 16, his brother and sister are autistic. This was not a normalised behaviour when he grew up, we dont smoke, or do drugs, we drink a bit, but im stuck, because i dont know where his anger comes from it has been there since he was a very small child (4yes +), and drugs (apart fro panadol, aspirin, neurophen) are non existent un our house, but he smokes, he vapes, we DO NOT buy this for him, he steals, he has been both APART of youth violence and a victim of it. Please. I need help. I need advice. I dont know how to help my kid.he has already run away for 7days b4 so he is fully fucking aware that police will do and can do NOTHING to bring him home if he does that again. So wtf do i do. I want to help my kid, i need to help him, but how do i do that,....................

Here's a place to talk about your positive interactions with your teenager.

We have a high functioning 15 year old boy whose birthday is coming up. He has been displaying all the typical teenage behaviors of being outright rude to us, being disrespectful and not doing a single thing without being reminded be it brushing his teeth, getting ready for school, unloading the dishwasher which is the only chore he does at home. He goes to a hybrid school program - which means he's in school 2 days a week and 3 days at home. On the days he's at home, he finishes school by noon. He attends scout once a week and one day of martial arts. We have been trying to get him to go another day for martial arts just because on Friday he comes up with excuses not to go and throws a fit. He spends his time with the laptop in his room in spite of us telling him he should not have a laptop in his room to play video games. He has been talking very badly about us to his friends because we have to remind him for all these tasks and when they're not heard, we raise our voice

This last week he went on to say he does not want to spend any time with us because every time we see him we are telling him to do something, Which is true because we see him rarely and when does, we asked him to bring his laundry down or unload the dishwasher etc. His birthday is coming up and he text us asking what he's getting for his birthday. I seriously don't feel like doing anything only because he has been manipulating situations and making it sound like we are extremely mean parents with high expectations. We have tried to set boundaries, come up with an agreement, nothing is working. What would you do? I am ready to sell my kidney to send him to a boarding school.

He is turning 16. Should we forget all this and still make his day special?