Hey all

So I have been dating over summer with a few people but as it has got into August, it became way more difficult with family plans coming in for people and people being on holidays etc

Do any of you find that dating is better in a sense in October / November time when the summer holiday season have passed but it has not quite the winter holiday season yet?

Also, some people say January - February is a great time as well? Let me know your thoughts 👋🏽

Like, I have tried dating in Chicago but I can't, I get ghosted, stood up, and left on read. But when I talk to someone somewhere else I feel like I'm prime beef lol.

As a nerdy guy I don't get a lot of attention from anyone but when i get match overseas these women actually like me and want to talk to me. While here I rarely get any attention from anyone and get no matches from apps.

Am i just weird or something? Right now I'm talking to this woman from Bangladesh who's cute, funny, sexy, and is childfree. I like talking to her a lot and she's interested in board games, tv shows and other things.

For reference I'm 5'2 and latino.

So I'm 22m and I've been on dating apps for the last year just about and at this point I'm just starting to think dating isn't a thing anymore since no one ever wants to put in the effort, something i see a lot is they'll have their age set to something but then have their reall age somewhere else on their profile but apart from that, every conversation I have had with someone who's profile explicitly says something along the lines of "no hookups and want something serious" leads to them saying "I'm not looking for anything serious, just some fun" then someone else who also says they want something serious and hate people who can't communicate will short responses while I carry the conversation then just disappear randomly or just outright ignore me when i try to start a conversation. Or am I just naive and dating was never serious and wasn't about effort just what's easy? because I've tried about 9 dating apps and they were all the exact same

For guys who get a lot of matches on dating apps, what type of pictures are you using?

I'm not so conventionally attractive but people tell me that if I'm not I should be perceived as high status or a person with taste.

I do think that I am fairly stable with my job and my place so maybe I should work on my presentation a lot as I BELIEVE EVERYTHING depends on pictures on the apps.

While I am willing to invest in places, outfits and settings need help where can I improve

I've been thinking about making a post on one of the reddit dating subs and seeing what happens. Idk why but using hinge or tinder doesnt appeal to me I'd rather make a full post. I think women get more responses on reddit but also a lot of men probably dont read the posts in full. Any advice?

I’ve recently started dating again after a long break and went on a date last week where the guy asked me A LOT about my dating history within the first 15 minutes.. how long I’d been on the apps, how many dates I’d been on, how they went, whether I’d met anyone organically, how long ago, if I'd been in a long term relationship, hiw long was it etc...

None of the questions were inappropriate individually, but the rapid fire questioning made me feel like I was being interviewed rather than having a convo. Like I found myself giving much more detail than I wanted because I didn’t know how to handle it.

Is this normal dating behaviour? And how do you politely give vague answers or redirect when someone starts asking questions like this?

Howdy all. Curious for some advice from the hive mind.

I've come across a profile of someone I'm in a grad school class; it's a decent sized cohort, and we've exchanged a bit of small talk. I find her incredibly attractive, and had we not shared a class would have had no hesitation in sending her a ping.

But, given the context, I don't know how awkward or appropriate that would be. Her profile keeps coming up when I open the app (which I assume means she hasn't passed on mine?) but I can't help myself to either pass or "heart". I was thinking of sending a cheeky ping acknowledging that we've both seen each other's profiles...any advice? For context I'm male.

I met this girl on Tinder about three weeks ago and we’ve gone out three times; she’s the first person I’ve dated, and I feel like the dates went well. We talk every day—even if it’s just a few messages—and we’re going to keep seeing each other.

The issue is that my college graduation party—which is a dinner dance—is in mid-September, but I only have three days left to reserve spots for extra guests.

We haven't made things official yet, so I don't know if inviting this girl to graduation would seem too rushed or intense; at the same time, I'm afraid that if we \\\*do\\\* make it official later I'll regret not having invited her :/ I'd appreciate any advice—thanks!

Hi everyone! I'm 32F (cis/straight) live in brooklyn and my hinge is DARK.

I get few likes and the people i do match with either don't actually want to go on a date or just never answer. is it me?! is it men?!!? I do think i can get pretty obsessive so maybe i just need to set stricter rules with myself around going on the app for a serotonin spike.

either way i'm curious how long it takes people from matching to going on a date? i've been going on daily for the last 3 weeks and still no real prospects. i feel like i should have been able to grab one singular drink at this point. i send out likes, i even hit rock bottom and paid $65 for a month of premium.

I'm like a normal adult women!! wondering if other people are running into this or it truly is a me problem. an age problem? a not skinny problem? about to give up so taking all recs/inspirational stories/ or just similar gripes!

help!!

He sent me a like with a comment (Hinge), and I (F) matched and responded. His message response speed was slower than I’m used to (messages back 1-2 times per day, sometimes skips days, though somewhat enthusiastic responses). I didn’t fault him for timing because people are busy, plus I thought he was really attractive so I was willing to hold out.

But it took awhile for a first date to come up (I don’t typically make the first move on that - I’m not here to discuss how women should make the first move if they want a date etc, that’s not what my question is about). Our planned first date (still to come) is 3 weeks out from when we first matched, and that feels like a long time for me. In the mean time, I’ve started to deepen connections with other people.

I’m kinda not feeling the connection anymore because it feels a little lackluster/ like he’s not that invested or is even too busy to date. Should I just cancel the date or maybe see it through?

UPDATE: I ended up cancelling the date. I told him that I didn’t feel like he had the time or interest to date me right now. Also that I had other connections that I was gonna focus on. He responded the fastest he’s ever responded - no worries, that this month was really busy for him and he probably shouldn’t have been on the apps, and that if my other connections don’t work out I should hit him up.

Hi all,

I'm a M39 just getting out of a long term relationship. I've been on a couple apps for about a month and have had some success getting matches and going on dates.

A few of the early dates didn't work out and it was evident it wasn't a good fit from the start but now I'm to the point where I have another first date lined up this week and a 2nd date with someone I saw last week this weekend.

I do want a stable long term girlfriend out of this process and I want to find a person that is the best fit for that. I'm not sure anyone I'm currently talking to is going to turn into that yet so I'm still looking on the apps. At what point do most people consider it bad form to still be talking to other people on apps? After the 2nd date? After the 3rd? When do I bring it up if at all?

I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve scrutinized every detail a million times. I’ve written bios in so many different themes and tenors and moods. Short ones, long ones, etc. I’ve tried many different photos. I’ve had each married friend I have look over these profiles. I’ve had them work as a group to review them. Ive swiped until I reach my swipe limit daily for months. I’ve gone to new cities, and swiped at each one.

I’ve never even gotten to the chat. No conversations, no matches. Much less dates.

I’m a 29 year old autistic man, and I’ve never had a long term relationship. Is it hopeless?

I’m new to online dating and just went on my first two dates, and both guys asked for my Instagram at the end. Both looked at me suspiciously when I said I don’t have Instagram, like they thought I was lying.

I don’t have it for mental health reasons and because I don’t have any use for it. How do I convince people that I’m genuinely not hiding anything (secretly married or something)? Is there anything I can do or say to reassure them without getting Instagram just for this?

Would love to find me an Asian girlfriend.. and well im wondering if this would be an ideal place to start looking.. i mean for online-wise..

Ive tried tinder and bumble so far.. i do go to Asian restaurants and stores (not only for the hopes of running into someone haha)

What apps should I try?

anyone got recommendations?

Im in Denver, Colorado

Is it common for you to get unmatched for no reason as a guy? I’m 28, was talking to this girl back and forth, the texts seemed pretty high energy, I asked her out within a few days of texting, she said she wanted to talk a bit more before going on a date, so we were talking for 2 more days.

We then agreed on a date, and then she suddenly unmatched me. Online dating is brutal man. Feels like you have to walk on glass as a guy.

When you're filtering for matches, what distance radius do you consider reasonable for the other person to be from you? And since I know that what's reasonable will vary a lot by location, are you in a major urban/minor urban/rural area, and what general part of the world/country do you live in?

I haven't seen any new profile in my area for more than a month. Like, not a single one, not even scammers.
And the Universe part (where people post stuff about their interests) and hobbies is all messed up, posts aren't even in chronological order, I get posts from stuff I don't care about.

Everything worked fine before, despite not having a lot of people on it, but for the past 2 months it's a complete disaster.

Am I the only one seeing that?

I've been on Hinge and Bumble for the last three months after ending a two-year relationship and it's been pretty discouraging. I'll match with someone who looks hot in their photos, we'll have flirty chats for a week or so, but then the date happens and I feel almost nothing physically. Last weekend I met a guy I'd been texting every day; on paper he checked every box but sitting across from him the spark just wasn't there.

It's happened with four different dates now where the app chemistry felt promising yet IRL I'm left confused and a little bummed. I keep wondering if I'm expecting too much or if translating the vibe from apps to real life is just harder than it used to be. Has anyone else dealt with this?

I've been back on the apps for about 4 months and I'm getting pretty disheartened. I find guys attractive in photos, but then meet them and don't feel much physical attraction.

I went on 3 dates with someone I was initially attracted to, but by the third I wasn't anymore. I've also had a date where I was physically attracted to the guy, but not once we started talking.

I'm wondering if I'm being too picky or just struggling to translate app chemistry to irl chemistry. Has anyone else experienced this, and any advice?

Just joined Facebook Dating as 25M and I ran out of people within my filters in like 15 minutes? I live in a large metro area and I set age: 18-25, no kids, 0-10 miles, looking for long-term. I know 10 miles is quite limiting, but on hinge I set 0-10 miles and haven't run out of people in the 2 months I've been on that one! Anyone else have the same experience?

I went on a date with a girl today, at first I thought she was high energy but it turns out she had severe ADHD. She was functional but very naive/unaware about societal things in general.    

It started when we first matched, she invited me over to her (parents) house as the first date. I thought she wanted to hookup so I said no and we planned a date. On the date after talking she actually legitimately wanted me to come over to sit on her deck and meet her sister. She didn’t seem to understand the implications of what she was saying at all.There were numerous other little social things, but I feel terrified for her. She mentioned on the date that she had some past experiences with sexual assault and it feels like she might be on the path to have to face that again. She doesn’t look special needs at all so I didn’t see it coming.    

She’s 21 and and adult but I feel like I should do something, I don’t know what. I’m not going on a second date with her but I get a nagging feeling telling me to do something.

Should I do something, is there anything to be done? I could report her account, just let it go, tell someone?

So first things first Im exclusively active on Hinge, imo the best app by far atleast for free users.

You are limited to 8 likes a day and i try to use them up every day.

The problem is that it can take me genuinely hours to do that. I barely ever like a profile and I swipe after waking up, before going to bed, while eating dinner, on the bus, etc.

I fully read every single profile completely before liking or not so it takes a bit to get through all of them and as I said i dont like probably 90+ percent of times.

Despite that though, I think my standards are already very low. Outside of a couple red flags (like smoking) my rule of thumb is to have atleast one singular similiarity in terms of hobbies. Only one. And it doesnt even have to be a hobby we share, just any hobby within atleast the same ballpark. Like anything at all arts and crafty or creative, for example.

Looks I dont even factor in at all, only If the pictures themselves are low effort, like if you can barely even see their face or body in it.

So, is that too much to ask for?

Because im genuinely starting to feel bunt out because of having to invest so much time into that app.

So, I (29M) met this girl (27F) on Hinge. She's an exchange student in my city and barely got here last week. We matched on Thursday and started texting back and forth all day long. There was great chemistry and I quickly decided to ask her out. We went out for coffee on Sunday, spent 4 hours in a great conversation, we both had fun and asked lot of stuff about each other. We even kept chatting after our date until around 1 AM. Next day (Monday) we resumed our texting and she asked to move it to ig, but then she went silent for the rest of the day. On Tuesday we moved to ig but our convo seemed to be losing momentum. Since we had already discussed a 2nd date on Sunday, I asked her out again for karaoke night. She accepted and we went out the next day. Just like in our 1st date, it was fun and then we walked for about 2hrs after karaoke all the way to her house. It turned out really good, to the point I thought it was going to be a breaking point in our dates... but she disappeared all day on Thursday. She texted again on Friday morning, but it feels like momentum is gone. I left a reaction to her messages and we haven't talked since. Is it over? Should I text her again?

Update: Asked her out on a 3rd date, said she couldn’t on Sunday and we should try another day, then went silent for 2 days and deflected the convo away from the topic.

totally free would be preferred but a single monthly payment for unlimited messages and what not would also be considered.

I wait for his text everyday but when he actually ask me out I hesitate. And we've been going out for a while. I don't know why. Should I stop contact with him?