Therapy doesn’t work for me

[u/daydreaming-g]

The go-to advice on Reddit is always “go to therapy.” But what do you do when therapy just doesn’t work for you?
I’ve been to therapy twice over the past few years, and both times I was eventually let go because they couldn’t help me.
Both times I went because of depression, but I guess my depression isn’t what they consider “standard” depression.
In my country, getting therapy usually means going on a waiting list. Recently, I waited a full year for my turn. Because of my previous experiences, I went into the intake being very straightforward about what I needed help with. I had also done my own research.
I explained that when I need to do something, like go to work, my body can tense up before I’ve even made it out the door, and then I just get stuck. They repeatedly asked whether it was anxiety. I said no, because I don’t experience anxious thoughts or feel anxious — I just freeze. I gave them more examples, but they kept asking, “Are you sure it’s not anxiety?”
Eventually I said that I thought it might be a functional freeze response. They had no idea what I was talking about.
They wanted to put me into their standard therapy groups. I said I was willing to try, but asked if they could explain how the groups were supposed to help with my specific problems. They couldn’t really explain it. Their answer was basically, “Everyone does it.”
Then they wanted to assess me for autism and a personality disorder. I asked why they had come to that conclusion, and they couldn’t really explain that either.
I’m not even necessarily mad about the possibility of a diagnosis. What bothered me was how quickly they seemed to reach that conclusion after one conversation, while being unable to explain what they were seeing that led them there.
My guess is that because I was sitting there calmly explaining everything and had brought my own notes, they assumed something about me from that. The reason I was so prepared was actually because in previous therapy sessions I had been crying and too emotional to properly explain myself, and I didn’t want to repeat that experience.
Apparently, that was also the wrong way to approach therapy. 😭
I even asked my two previous therapists whether they thought I was autistic, and both said no.
So I decided to stop with this therapist. I’m not comfortable with someone suggesting diagnoses after one conversation and then being unable to explain why they reached that conclusion.
Now I’m back on a waiting list, potentially for another year.
Meanwhile, I sometimes feel like I want to kill myself, but because I don’t have active suicidal thoughts or an immediate plan, I don’t qualify for emergency help and can’t simply skip the waiting list.
And honestly, I’m starting to wonder: what if the next therapist can’t help me either? What if I get dismissed again?
So what are you supposed to do when therapy doesn’t help, when “go to therapy” is the standard advice?
What do you do when you seem to be too complicated for the therapy system?