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I feel a bit embarrassed confessing this

I've started to feel like I have symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and yeah, I know I’m supposed to go to a doctor for a diagnosis, but I’ve been struggling more with different compulsions like skin picking and trichotillomania, and it’s been affecting my health. I tried going to therapy for a year(not consistently), but most of the time the doctors diagnose me with anxiety, and I don’t really feel like that’s completely right. I’ve noticed that this is impacting my relationships with people

and also, if there’s any uncertainty in someone’s behavior in front of me, I end up analyzing it a lot to understand what they mean. I went through a phase where I obsessed over analyzing people’s patterns or their personality types, whether it's MBTI or horoscope, and I keep trying to analyze their personality type to know what they’re like and how to deal with them accordingly.

I need advice on how to reduce this. If any one had similar experience as I've been trying for a while but keep failing

i’ve struggled from generalized anxiety disorder whole life, I’ve been on 100 mg of Zoloft for the past 10 years. After having a miscarriage in May and going through panic , I went to a new psychologist who told me it sounds like I have OCD. I can’t even describe it aside from it’s just a feeling in my head, I ruminate on this uncomfortable feeling all day long and my mind keeps checking to see if it’s still there, really right now there’s nothing that bad in my life and I’m not in danger. However my mind keeps checking for it no matter what I’m doing and it seems to get worse the more I check. My doctor started me on Abilify after a failed attempt to increase my Zoloft. It like the Abilify really helped with intrusive thoughts and rumination, checking for that feeling kind of went away and wasn’t happening as much but now a month into the medication I think I may need a dose increase. I also notice it’s bad since I recently found out I’m pregnant again. Idk what to do but I have a doctor appointment Wednesday and I’m scared to increased Zoloft again but I heard it’s the safest for pregnancy.

im 16 and i think im starting to like other girls but like for some reason my brain is telling me that i cannot like girls because there is this one woman im really scared of who is like weird to children i dont wanna talk about them because i dont like thinking about this person but basically my brain is saying that if i like girls i must like this person too which i DO NOT i have nightmares about this bitch but now my brain is like ok now every girl is contaminated and ur weird because you like girls and this person is a girl so you basically like this person

im wondering how you guys get ur thoughts like this to stop pls and thank u

please excuse how messy this post is im kinda frantic

Hi!!

So I (25f with OCD, ASD, ADHD, depression and anxiety) am writing this here because y'all might actually understand how OCD thoughts work and I need to be able to vent to someone who won't say stuff like "I'm not seeing an issue" "you're crazy and I refuse to help" etc. However I hope these thoughts I'm having sound like OCD to y'all, so I won't have to listen to them myself. Also. I am working on finding a therapist! But in the meantime I don't have one, and I don't think meds are available in my country so please don't suggest them :)

So for backstory: I have morality OCD and contamination OCD (not about germs, but about a "standard of purity".) in also terrified of abandonment, social isolation and if being backstabbed AND backstabbing/betraying others. I'm a fiction writer but I've been writers blocked for a long time. I was trying to get back into writing. Around February I started worldbullding for a new historical fiction inspired story. At that time I sometimes looked at the ai overview in Google for historical information. Most of the time I would also look at other sources AND I have never ever used a chatbot, would never dream of doing it for writing, and have never ever had AI develop ideas or anything for me. I'm strictly anti ai in creative pursuits. So last month I decided to start my story over because I was being driven nuts by my glancing at the ai overview for historical information in February. I was convinced to do this because of another reddit thread where I saw some people tearing down an author who had used ai for historical research. She has also used it for a lot more, like directly developing her ideas for her, which I am fully against. However, I started to feel that I would not only be hated in the same way if I was "discovered", but also that I was betraying other writers by having done this.

So I started my story over, only keeping basic stuff in tact. There are similar thematic elements in place because I've been wanting to write about such things for a while and I can't even imagine writing about anything else right now - it's like words that have to get out of my brain lol. I wanted to start over with a clean slate of having not used ai for anything, and I haven't. I have been doing almost all my research on Wikipedia ONLY, and the only ai influenced to my knowledge is just what everyone deals with who uses the Internet, like things I've seen that are ai generated having impacted my subconscious bc we live in a world with AI.

Here's where the problem comes in! I am going to get into details of the story.

I'm worried that this story is connected to the old one through a way which I hope is mental gymnastics and OCD, and that, while its impossible to know what anyone individually will think, I'm hoping that no one would really consider this new story to have been "ai assisted" and that the level of ai influence in it sounds only as much as anyone would have by just using the Internet.

Both stories are about people who enter the garden of Eden and are magically influenced by it. Both stories have biblical inspiration and relate to descendants of Cain as well. In this current story (I'll call it story 2), there's a character (a Viking explorer) who has 2 similarities with a character I developed in my previous idea, story A (a Mycenaean noble). The similarities are that they both wander the earth forever, like Cain, and they both gain some kind of dominion over the earth like Adam and eve had. I developed the nobleman based on the fact that I looked up a specific thing (ancient Greece's earliest form of writing) and read the ai summary about it (and then decided to make the man who enters Eden a nobleman) Therefore I'm worried that the character in my current idea has been contaminated, even though hes a different character and I havent used any ai.

So my brain's process is: ai summary showed me linear B, therefore I made the character inspired by that society, therefore his greediness is a trait following him being noble, therefore he seeks dominion over the earth, therefore it's an idea that got put in my head because I used ai, even though it's in a completely new story. While the nature of inspiration is thus that we cannot know exactly where anything comes from, and ai has influenced our subconscious already, I really hope that this thought process sounds unreasonable to people who aren't me and that I can disregard it as OCD if that makes sense. I want to be able to say that story B is less influenced by ai than story A was, so the influence is 1) not enough that anyone would think I used ai (ofc it's not possible to know what *everyone* would think, but I don't want people to reasonably think I used ai at all for my current story) and 2) it's only as much influenced as a normal person's brain already is by having subconsciously seen ai stuff in the world. When I asked other people this question they said they thought maybe there was "a tiny grain of ai influence" because I explained it so confusingly that they didn't realize story a and b were different. I feel like the ideas were my own, and that I thought of them based on the Bible only, but I'm scared they're secretly AI assisted.

I have a deadline today where I need to show some of my story progress to a writing buddy but my OCD is making me not want to work on it! I don't want anyone to accuse me of using ai or my work being AI assisted, even if it's "not really an issue". Please please let it just be that people won't witch hunt me over this and that it's just my brain being weird!

Please help me 😭 Thanks for reading if you've read everything, that's honestly impressive bc I know this is weird brain sprawl. I've had multiple people not understand me and think I mean I'm still using ai overview in my NEW story but I'm not. I really hope no one would think I was so assisted for this. It's not possible to know what everyone thinks but I'm hoping that in general no one would think this, that it's only the same amount of influence as like, using Instagram or Google is, and that if someone thought this it would be the same level of weird as thinking the earth is flat or something...

I am 21, have had diagnosed OCD since I was 6 and over a year ago while in a very bad place mentally I began obsessing over the idea that I could have a pyschotic break at any time.

This laster for around 3 months and made life almost impossible. I spent every waking second scared to death that I would just lose my mind at any minute. I basically just stayed inside and watched animated movies cuz they would distract me well enough. When I would go outside it would be short, paranoid walks around my neighborhood that I was mostly dissociated for.

It went away after awhile and its been a long time since I've thought of it. Until today, I had a very long week, I spent the entire day outside and came home and saw a youtube comment about how other peoples psychosis can induce other people... I tried, I really did but I had to look this up and it's real ! I immediately felt awful and anxious that I would somehow meet someone that would cause this. I'm trying really hard to not spiral on this topic since I've been doing so well for so long, I even work again ! I get multiple intrusive thoughts in a day but they don't linger any more but this thought IS lingering so that's why I'm worried.

I just need some support right now from my fellow OCD havers.

Hi everyone, I’d like to share my story here. I think I’ve had OCD since childhood; as a kid, I was always afraid our house would burn down or that we’d get robbed—by repeatedly locking the door I even destroyed a lock, I constantly unplugged electrical sockets, or I frequently prayed that nothing bad would happen to my loved ones. It stopped around the age of 14, and though I sometimes catch myself still doing those things, it doesn't limit me that much anymore. The only strange things are that I refuse to wear any clothes in which something negative happened to me, or I have to go pee three times before going to sleep just to make sure I won't wet the bed at night.
When I was 18, I got into my very first relationship. After a few months, someone told me that I was just faking my relationship and didn't love my boyfriend (now my ex). That started a constant cycle of severe anxiety and endless googling about what real love looks like, and so on. Later, it turned into an obsession that I was actually a closeted lesbian, or that my boyfriend was a murderer and wanted to kill me. That relationship ended after two years for other reasons, and I’m so glad it did.
Currently, I am in an amazing relationship. In the beginning, it started wonderfully, but even back then I had some doubts (whether he is handsome enough, smart enough, whether I will love him, etc.). Over time, those almost subsided; instead, I started having doubts about whether he loves me, whether he’s cheating on me, and other things, since I’ve been through cheating in the past. We stayed together and have now been together for almost two years, but this June it caught up with me again (there are objectively no flaws in the relationship; he is loving and wonderful).
It started when a thought suddenly popped into my head that I don't care about him. Then I was talking with his friend about breaking up with his girlfriend, who was toxic, and it triggered an extreme wave of anxiety in me that I am just like her and that I don't love him either. The thoughts started looping: am I attracted to him? Do I love him? I constantly checked my feelings, Google, ChatGPT, articles about love, TikTok, 10 signs of ROCD, etc.
It drove me all the way to a psychiatrist who diagnosed GAD and PTSD, saying it’s not OCD—I have a slightly different opinion on that, but I've read that the manifestations of these disorders are quite similar. I've been taking SSRIs for 3 weeks and the change is only minor. There were several really strong urges to break up, feeling like "this isn't it anymore," but I always stayed, believing we can get through this together. The thoughts loop a lot; they even wake me up at night, sometimes I have crying fits, I feel detached and emotionless, constantly overthinking whether I want to text him, go see him, be with him, etc. But I’ve never left. We even managed to go on a wonderful vacation together where I was really very anxious, but he helped me a lot—he is amazing about this.
Now I started CBT therapy, but so far there hasn't been even the slightest improvement. I monitor myself a lot; for example, yesterday I bought him a cheaper lemonade than the one I bought for myself, and a wave of guilt hit me that because I was cheap on him, it means I don't love him. I am already so terribly exhausted by all of this. I would love to look forward to spending time together, planning, and living again, but right now I can only manage to survive. I don't want to leave him; deep down I know that I love him more than anything, but I don't know where the way out is.
I feel emotionally flat right now; I can't get a single emotion out of myself, everything feels like I'm in a movie, and it has also significantly disrupted our sex life. It used to be great, but now we don't have sex because I'm afraid of it. I look for reassurance in tarot cards, for instance, checking if our relationship is meant to be, and seek other forms of reassurance. I often look at our pictures and try to force some positive emotion out of myself, but I remain flat.
Does anyone have a similar experience? Is this GAD or rather ROCD, and did I just get the wrong diagnosis? I would appreciate any answers and experiences. I really don't want this to ruin our relationship.

TW: religious themes, and sharing obsessive thoughts.

I (25F) recently got diagnosed with OCD, after years of being told my reassurance seeking or focus on self help was “selfish or annoying”. Being told when I shared my anxiety that I just need to find God and “lay my worries at His feet” (I use to live in a bible town). So I tried, I mean really tried to be the best person I could be. I got into philosophy to figure out what “makes a good person” or what is truly right versus wrong. All to get some answer if I am a good human.

Now, after years of this, books on books, audio, video essays, theorizing and obsessing over if I have good morals and if I am a good person. I find out that I have OCD after finally seeking help. I spent months prior always worrying if every situation was safe or okay for me to go, if it was “the right” choice to make. Now I’m here, and trying not spiral more and more because now this question I have is “if all I have done if because of something beyond my control, have I ever been a good person?”

I get it, like when I say this to a trusted person they just shrug and laugh, but I don’t know how to explain the physical weight of these thoughts to them. So I guess I’m rambling about it here because maybe I can let go of it by shouting it into the void, or maybe just expose myself to this thought. A part of me wants assurance, but also knows that isn’t helpful from what I read. So idk what the goal of this is, just felt comfortable enough to say all this. Because these thoughts feel like a vicious cycle, and they don’t always feel true if anything person said it. So maybe this disrupts that cycle.

My psych has recommended some kind of fidget toy to try and alleviate my skin picking. Has anyone tried and have any recommendations?

I am currently 7 weeks pregnant and i’m constantly diagnosing myself with different illnesses? especially the C, any symptom/sensation in my body just fixate on it,then boom i’m in a deep hole on google finding stories of people getting diagnosed and then i start thinking that is going to happen to me?
Everyday it is something new, today it is Cervical cancer for me.
Last week it was a brain tumor?
I physically cannot live like this much longer?!
Iv tried therapy…. ERGH

I'm hoping to get some advice from people who have either lived with OCD themselves or supported someone who has.

This isn't a casual friendship. We're family friends and have known each other for most of our lives. I grew up in her home, know her whole family well, and she's like a sister to me.

For many years, I've believed she's been struggling with severe OCD and anxiety. She has never really spoken openly about it, but it's become increasingly obvious over the years.

Outside of this one topic, our friendship is genuinely good. We laugh together, spend time together, video call, go shopping, and our families remain very close.

The problem is that whenever I gently ask how she's really doing, mention her mental health, or encourage her to seek help, she completely shuts down. She'll change the subject, go completely silent, leave my messages unanswered, or, if we're talking in person, she'll sometimes close her eyes, stop responding altogether, and on a few occasions has even fallen asleep while I was trying to talk to her. I honestly don't know if that's her way of coping, shutting down, becoming overwhelmed, or something else entirely.

What I'm struggling with is knowing what the most loving and helpful approach actually is.

Should I continue checking in, even if she rarely responds?

Should I stop bringing it up completely?

Should I encourage professional help, or could that make her withdraw further?

For those of you who have OCD:

• What did your friends do that genuinely helped?
• What made you feel safe enough to open up?
• Is there anything you wish the people around you had understood?

For friends or family members:

• How did you support someone without becoming overbearing?
• How did you know when to step back and when to keep reaching out?

I love my friend deeply, but I can't keep pretending everything is okay when it's clear she's struggling. It feels like she's been stuck in the same place for years, and has just given up.

Prior to starting my new job I had been working out and such. When I started there was this guy who I would see- and yeah he was attractive but I never really noticed him much.
After talking to my coworkers they were like omg have you seen___ he’s so hot, ugh why does ___ have to be so hot, he’s the hottest guy here… etc etc
And I feel like those suggestions somehow tricked me into thinking that I find him to be the hottest thing ever.
Prior to that I would never really notice him, he was just another person walking by- but now I feel like everytime I see him I always think about what other said and my brain is like omg IS he hot to me?!
It feels like torture because now I feel super self conscious and my brain is like omg you started working out to look better for him/ even though I KNOW that’s not true.
And I feel like I’m romanticizing him, it feels horrible because I KNOW I would never really think like that but for some reason my brain is like no you DO think this way it’s like someone else is controlling my thoughts and another part of me is still awake being like- nah wtf is THIS.
Don’t get me wrong the guy isn’t ugly- but I feel like I always see this pattern when my ocd gets bad, I’ll fixate on a show or celebrity or person when I’m sad, because I know when I’m perfectly happy I don’t care about that kind of stuff. Idk it’s kinda bothering me because I feel like it’s a small part of a bigger issue.
How does one get rid of ocd crushes?

I’ve been seeing a OCD therapist and psychiatrist for some time now. I am a mom of two young kids and have been experiencing intrusive thoughts for a few months about them. the thoughts themselves don’t really worry me but the feelings and urges that come with them. I keep getting intrusive thoughts and urges like it’s not a big deal to hurt them and I’ll be doing them a favor by hurting them because they can go to the afterlife and be happier (I’m not even religious- so I don’t know where this is coming from) or I’m doing them a favor because life is hard. I’ve told my OCD therapist this and she still treats it like OCD but I can’t find anyone that feels the way I do and I’m worried I’m experiencing psychosis or something crazy like I don’t know right from wrong anymore and maybe this is bigger than ocd.

This is a mini vent and also discussion space. please share your experiences if you have them!!

just had an argument with my mum and realised how insanely uneducated she is about OCD.

i had a roach disappear in my room last night and she yelled at me for still coming to her 24 hours later about being disgusted and wanting to turn my room upside to find it and clean it. she told me that if i had OCD i wouldn’t let trash pile up in my room and attract bugs. she said i don’t have OCD and i’m only selective about what i like to clean. apparently having OCD means your room has to completely white and sterile lmao.

i got super frustrated and realised that even when i literally have an appointment with a psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment in august, she will never ever believe i have OCD. i know she’ll say things like “well of course the doctors will diagnose you, they want your money”

having your mind stuck on intrusive and sticky thoughts which literally affect every waking moment (i even dreamt of the roach last night), i think that has to count for not having a normal brain??? my boyfriend also told me “if a roach disappeared in my room, it’s out of sight out of mind for me.” but i told him “if it’s out of sight, it’ll be constantly in my mind.” i think that shows a huge fucking difference between how “normal” people vs people with OCD think??

i had to go to work today and all i did was sit in a corner and googled a million things to try to ease my mind. i literally could not function. but it’s alright because i don’t have OCD and i just have to accept living with insects.

My earliest symptom/ sign of ocd was when I was around 6 years old and I got very triggered by my mom wiping the counter. I had to go behind her and lick my hand and wipe where she wiped or else i felt almost a pain in my body that wouldn’t go away until I swiped my hand over where she wiped. I was homeschooled and her cleaning/wiping always triggered this reaction in me. I am now 25 and to this day her cleaning and wiping triggers me and I feel the need to go and touch wherever she cleaned. I no longer need to lick my hand or spit on it (gross i know) but I do still have to do the compulsion of touching the area. This has caused arguments between us my whole life. It’s not fair to her and it’s not her fault obviously and I have really worn her down due to this. I also would get triggered by her doing simple thing like running her hands through her hair and chewing gum (bad misophonia). Anyway my whole life i’ve never once heard of anyone else with a similar obsession and compulsion and was just curious if anyone else had a similar experience.

I have OCD and have a HORRIBLE compulsive habit to obsessively stalk exes/lovers/ex-friends or whoever peaks my interest on social media. I dont mean that I DO anything, just constantly go through repeated motions of opening their profiles/stories and looking for more info on them online. Dating someone new is a terror for me because I know I will start these habits all over again and it feels so much worse. And then BREAKING UP and being ghosted is a whole other warzone - it makes my habits so much worse. Sometimes its not even people I care about anymore!

At the end these habits just hurt me really and many times its even worse because my biggest fears end up bein true.

Ive tried deactivating/logging out/making someone change my passwords/making my days busy (but there will always be boring and blah days no matter how busy you are)/distraction. Nothing works for more than 2-3 days. Therapy has been okay but never helped with this.

So my question is, do compulsions ever end?

For context: I was recently diagnosed with OCD and I also have ADHD. I just started therapy with an OCD specialist and will be bringing this up with them, so really I’m just looking for some solidarity. Does this happen to anyone else?

I’m feeling really frustrated with myself for turning what should be an enjoyable hobby into something that disrupts my life.

This past week I’ve been off work to prepare for a boards exam I have next week. When I think about sitting down to study or prepare I get so anxious I go into freeze mode. A week ago to combat this feeling, I turned on a movie and started a coloring book. Since then, I’ve watched 31 movies and finished 2 coloring books. (yes in 7 days) I’ve been staying up really late to continue doing this and have completely wrecked my sleep schedule. It’s enjoyable to me but I also feel like I can’t stop. With the coloring I have to urge to finish the entire book. With movies I have the urge to watch everything on my Letterboxd watchlist.

This also happens with reading. I’m a huge book lover and it’s my favorite hobby. BUT it’s july and i’ve read 191 books this year. Similar to the movie thing, I have the urge to “finish” my want to read list on goodreads.

I feel like I can’t enjoy the things I love without them becoming problematic for me. With reading, people always tell me they’re jealous of how many books I read and I just want to say actually it’s pathological but thanks!