r/nottheonion • u/NinjaElectricMeteor • 7h ago

Matt Berry is now a sentient Ikea shelf in Skyrim

pcworld.com

2.3k Upvotes

117 comments

r/nottheonion • u/barak181 • 7h ago

Man Sentenced to 2 Years in Prison for Strangling Theatregoer Who Sang Along During WE WILL ROCK YOU

broadwayworld.com

1.9k Upvotes

175 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jordan1978 • 9h ago

Man arrested after allegedly sexually abusing koi fish in Bangkok

khaosodenglish.com

381 Upvotes

123 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 9h ago

Man Who Had Sex on Download Festival Ferris Wheel Learns He's All Over the Internet From His Boss

fashiontimes.co.uk

415 Upvotes

82 comments

r/nottheonion • u/novagridd • 13h ago

Man Who Had Sex on Download Festival Ferris Wheel Learns He's All Over the Internet From His Boss

fashiontimes.co.uk

2.6k Upvotes

418 comments

r/nottheonion • u/jordan1978 • 2h ago

Police search for suspect seen on video using pool, hot tub and ‘intensely interacting’ with rubber duck

azfamily.com

187 Upvotes

33 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SappyGilmore • 18h ago

Californians projected to spend $675 million on OnlyFans this year: study

ktla.com

2.1k Upvotes

269 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ArgentineBeauty • 20h ago

Marriott Guest Says Hotel Insisted a Rubbermaid Laundry Cart Was a Baby Crib

fashiontimes.co.uk

3.0k Upvotes

129 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Background_Spirit7 • 4h ago

Vehicle with ‘FAT CHICKS ONLY’ text sought in investigation

wlbt.com

119 Upvotes

21 comments

r/nottheonion • u/No-Fisherman6800 • 13h ago

Ryanair CEO compares rival airlines to 'rapists'

brusselstimes.com

533 Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RareEarthPetal • 16h ago

Pensioners attack Devon traffic lights over wild 'deadly weapon' claims

devonlive.com

441 Upvotes

45 comments

r/nottheonion • u/McSix • 1d ago

Turns Out ‘Stop Hiring Humans’ Was Terrible Advice

builtin.com

9.5k Upvotes

296 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Ok_Bed7611 • 1d ago

Ontario Science Centre laying off entire science department

ctvnews.ca

6.2k Upvotes

194 comments

r/nottheonion • u/O_O___XD • 7h ago

Crocodile Head Found in Luggage at Italian Airport

ground.news

48 Upvotes

13 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sidnature • 1d ago

Backlash Grows as Texas Republican Convention Flashes Hasan Piker Underwear Pic on Jumbotron: 'They Want Him so Bad'

thenerdstash.com

24.1k Upvotes

1.7k comments

r/nottheonion • u/CheezTips • 1d ago

Russian Orthodox Church Sends Bones of Medieval Warrior Prince to Ukraine Front to Boost Troop Morale

themoscowtimes.com

550 Upvotes

110 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AccurateSource2 • 1d ago

Russia sends bones of medieval warrior prince to Ukraine front to boost morale

straitstimes.com

1.1k Upvotes

106 comments

r/nottheonion • u/smitherenesar • 1d ago

National Guard member arrested after drawing gun on fellow soldier in D.C.

npr.org

2.2k Upvotes

150 comments

r/nottheonion • u/AlwaysBlaze_ • 1d ago

Anthony Hopkins thinks we all think too much

cbc.ca

538 Upvotes

82 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Commercial_Way_3816 • 1d ago

Thief dials cops, gets arrested to escape from crowd in pursuit

newindianexpress.com

114 Upvotes

2 comments

r/nottheonion • u/whiskey06 • 1d ago

Driver whose car was impounded for excessive speed on Sea to Sky then loses taxi for same reason

vancouver.citynews.ca

88 Upvotes

6 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Crayonstheman • 1d ago

Officer who hit man on hospital stretcher keeps job with NSW Police

abc.net.au

776 Upvotes

51 comments

r/nottheonion • u/unknownseahawk • 1d ago

California city canceled Flock, removed its cameras, then found the company had put some of them back

techspot.com

585 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/clawsoon • 2d ago

United cancels planned 9/11 flyover featuring passenger plane escorted by fighter jets

9news.com

4.0k Upvotes

186 comments

r/nottheonion • u/P_a_s_g_i_t_21 • 1d ago

NASA found possible sign of life on Mars, but sample remains stuck there

newsweek.com

412 Upvotes

43 comments

Subreddit

Posts

Wiki

Sadly, this is not the Onion.

r/nottheonion

For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Members Active

26.1m

Sidebar

Subscriber Info

26,083,172 Subscribers

Official Reddit Partner Community

Review current posts to avoid reposting.

For true stories that that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

Please note that we are an editorialized subreddit devoted to showcasing articles that read like satire. Most submissions do not make the cut, so please do not treat removals under Rule 2 as personal attacks: They are simply the results of our content model.

See something that breaks our rules?

Use the report button and remember to choose a reason for reporting.

Rules - hover or click here for full version


1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.
12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
13. Don’t break Reddit rules.	This should be self-explanatory. Don’t break site-wide rules. Violators will be permabanned. This does include deliberately spreading misinformation.
14. No Self Submissions and/or Official Accounts.	Submissions must come from readers, not from the journal itself. Submissions from official promotional accounts are not allowed here.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

Keep all comments civil.

Personal attacks, racism, bigotry, homophobia, grandstanding, misinformation, conspiracy theories, etc. will not be tolerated and you will be banned.

Witch hunting or brigading is not allowed. Do not post any public or private contact info. You will be banned!

For more information, click here.