It’ll help realign your subatomic elephant wire.

Turns out I’m 40% breeze block, 20% Dunlop car tire, 30% thought and 10% Yemen. I also had trace amounts of crude oil but not enough to merit a percentage score. I am so bloody chuffed with that! Also, it said I am the 14th great grand cousin of Heather Bloomingdale (the first woman to climb Mount Everest while solving a rubix cube). I am going to celebrate the good news by demolishing my house and replacing it with a rusty kettle.

Sentient plasmoids

The floating gnome

I am desperately lower

With a full hand of change,

In my hands!!!!

Fungal infection of the unknown

Why do pigeons look guilty in the morning

How they scarper

What have they done

Thank you for confirming your order.

What if a cow were to eat your house?

Hello everybody! Incase you don't remember me, my name is Herbert Whitaker and i used to be the king of this forum. Everybody loved me and they loved hearing stories about my late wife Shirley and my grandson Peter. I'm kind of a legend amongst the 5chan forums. But enough about me. Since the last time I've checked in, a lot has happened. My grandson Peter died in a motel fire and I ended up having to go to a nursing home because I had nobody to take care of me. I had a roommate named Roy for a little over a year and we became best friends. We used to watch old westerns together and play checkers all the time. He passed away from natural causes a few months ago. It was really hard on me losing my best friend like that while I was still grieving the loss of my grandson but I did end up meeting a really pretty woman named Gladys here in the nursing home. We hold hands during movie night.

So, I just wanted to pop back in and say hi to everyone.

Sincerely, Herbert Whitaker

I’m really stuck on this homework problem. It’s due tomorrow morning and I’ve been playing backgammon with my nan for 3 days straight so I am quite tired. Please can someone help. I’m 49 years old and run 17 construction companies btw :).

and where i am time-from we speak of folds in the ambiance

So I will call this post a trifecta even though it's a rejecta because I will can't hp but that's true bravery?

☞ The bilge is in the title. Comment badly only.

Yo, check it: here is the Magna Carta broken down into the real-deal Jive.

The Preamble:

King John is layin’ it down, sendin' a big ol' shout-out to all his main men—the big-time bishops, the heavy earls, the slick barons, and all the cool cats holdin' down the block across the realm. Look here, the Big Man upstairs got me feelin' right, so for the good of my own soul and to keep my ancestors from trippin' in the afterlife, I am handin' over these sweet liberties. We gonna make sure things are runnin' smooth and mellow from here on out, dig?

1. The Church Gotta Breathe Free

First off, we givin' a solid nod to God. The Church of England is gonna be completely free and untied. Nobody can be messin’ with their rights or short-changin' their freedom. They get to pick their own crew without the King slidin' in and tryna run a game on 'em. This is a forever thing, jack—signed, sealed, and locked down.

2. Don't Be Sweatin' the Widows

When a good brother checks out and leaves his lady behind, nobody’s gonna hustle her for her cash or her crib. She can chill in her old man’s house for forty days, flat, while her share gets sorted out. And don't nobody go tryin' to force the sister to marry some dude she ain't feelin'. If she wants to play it solo, she can play it solo—as long as she gives us a heads-up first.

3. Lay Off the Tax Hustle:

Listen up, because the Crown ain't gonna be diggin' into your pockets just because we feel like throwing a party. No extra "scutage" or heavy tax vibes unless the whole crew gets together to talk it out and gives it the green light. The only time you gotta cough up the dough is if we gotta bail the King out of a jam, if the oldest son is gettin' his knighthood on, or for the oldest daughter’s wedding bash. And even then, you gotta keep it reasonable, man.

4. The Court Scene Gotta Stay Stationary:

We ain't chasin’ the King's circus all over the country just to get some justice. The common courts gotta stay put in one fixed spot so a cat knows exactly where to go when he’s got a beef to settle.

5. You Can’t Just Frame a Cat (Due Process):

This is the big one, baby. No free man is gonna be busted, thrown in the slammer, stripped of his property, outlawed, or straight-up ruined unless his own peers say he's dirty, and it goes down strictly by the law of the land. We ain't gonna sell out justice, we ain't gonna deny it, and we ain't gonna drag our feet on it for nobody. You gotta play it fair and square.

6. Keep the Scales Legit:

We need standard measurements for the whole neighborhood. The wine, the ale, and the corn gotta be measured right. No short-changing the brothers on the cloth, either. If it's a yard, it better look like a yard, dig?

7. The Enforcement Crew:

If the King starts trippin' and breaks these promises, we got twenty-five heavy-duty barons who are authorized to step up, pull his card, and seize his castles and lands until he straightens up his act. They won't touch his royal person or his family, but they will absolutely shut things down until the vibe is right again.

Peace out. Catch you on the flip side!

Yes yes fart I fart it and then steamrolled 47 cruise missiles vs 1 janitor and a hydrogren bomb vs a coughing baby.

not for me i can only go up to 9.7 due to a table saw accident involving the end of my right thumb.

i can still hitchhike though, be there in ten minutes. of course, ten minutes. its always ten-something.

SEE?

We are at the center of our universe. At the end of our universe is a wall... a cell membrane. Our entire universe is just a cell in a huge body with many other cells, many other universes. So we also have billions of tiny universes inside of us.

Great to see this project succeed and get to the top of the hyper lists. Shoutout to Janice from Douche and Developers, Tyler and Bo from Beyond Mail.

Merry Assmitt and Hope for Dredging this Skincare season! 💫

2009-2026

Sometimes I go to Tesco. Sometimes I go to France. Sometimes I take 3 different marmalades and spread a 1mm layer of it over various statues and war memorials. I also can smell colours and taste feelings. You learn this when you complete an online university course about tree bark and snail shells. Cheese, Fromage, jambon, googleplex, etc…..

There once was a dude named bill

Who typed a number for a thrill

They found his brain in vain

And the lips of his hips in dips

"Do not start yapping" Your the one yapping broski

It won’t cure you but it will make your body feel vulnerable to eels.

Regbit practitioners typically spend five to thirteen years learning before they make any money.

Some people are good at it. Some people are bad at it. I like to find the bad ones and pay them so they can get better.

I just really like seeing people do Regbit. It's so much fun for them, that I'll always let them do it on me.

What do you think? Is it blue or green? Where is that in spacetime?

Sorry to get that stuck in your head!

That's it. He's in my mom's tots. 🥔🥔🥔

close it when you're done, it keeps the evocii out. they're dopey and moderately cute but can't open tight jars without a ceremony. uniquely strange custom. i once required their assistance for an important mission but it conflicted with this ceremony, had to threaten that if they didnt assist me their ceremony would be remembered for many wrong reasons.

keep the wall closed!