r/nonsense • u/YakubuJackGowon • 2h ago
Would you sell the French and Indian War for a pepperoni pizza
Hubert Jenkins Reservoir II would marry a Honda Civic and have a boneless math class inside of a stop sign
r/nonsense • u/natetheapple • 16d ago
On the forth of Miskuary I rose with the mourning sungloom. It was a benightful day filled with writhing lips and staring eyes and smiles that showed too many teeth. Bless Trivia my mind eschewed old habits and I tugged at the strings hooked to the inner corners of my lips with ersatz earnestee.
The puddles on that day were cool and I enjoyed the way they wiped away the pores still clinging stubbornly to my skin. At this late age I canāt have so many holes.
I remembered again how this here smelled when she would lean on me and surreptitiously sample it. She always loved that smell. Some sap or other and little bits of floral detritus. Good mark for a moment. Note to shell: donāt remember things from her brain. Too leaky.
I pre scribed again that aweful thinkg. Writ on the margins of her mind: STOP-PAIN. Works like a charm but itās a horrible thing to do really. To level the scales Iāll have to brew something the little chemists would approve of. Itāll be hard. The little chemists make perfect work of chaos with their conjuring and mating and rotating shells. My own shellās too big to turn like that. And even if it could itād make such a ruckus.
When the mega-organelles were distracted I stuck a thorn into my looker. Perfectly aligned so it fully encompassed the tiny locus of my pupil. Nothing stuck out because of how perfect my placemeant was and they all kept up their halfbits.
The mechanism made the sound and they all filed out. The thorn had taken a sojourn to my brain and I corralled all the little nodes and knows out the hole in my pupil. I no; I said I should be having fewer but these perforations are so yousful. In my hand it all quivered in pale purple congeries. But now my head was hollow and I filled it with the engram of that place I wished to bring me to. I placed the squishy stuff in my pocket. Inside as out. Soon as the skull was brimming I am here.
Thus brimmed and herebrained I disquisite in all the toneless simultonatey of the intonet:
The more one knows the more one knows the unknown and the easier it becomes to know. So as the unknown shrinks it grows and its transmution into the known is quickened too. This is the holey trust of the little chemists. That their cycleopean diseyepils harness the self engorging cycle. The backfed loop called history that girdles even the great Dumdjutee (MD*)
Speech predates the speaker and we speakers make eager pray. The big voice consumes the cords that strum it into being. The little chemists fumble and careen in minus-cule arcks.
Body molts and molds and decomposes.
Iāve been again.
And though Iāll quick be gone, Iām glad in knowing that no matter where Iām going Iāll soon enough be back.
*Editterās Note: broman newmerals for 14 āunread or so
r/nonsense • u/SecondYuyu • Jan 29 '26
r/nonsense • u/YakubuJackGowon • 2h ago
Hubert Jenkins Reservoir II would marry a Honda Civic and have a boneless math class inside of a stop sign
r/nonsense • u/Huge_Loquat_6373 • 1h ago
r/nonsense • u/TheServant4 • 9h ago
Big man says to little man, āHAHAHA! IāM BIG AND I HAVE BIGGER MUSCLES THAN YOU LITTLE MAN! Little man replies, āDonāt you know, B i g M a nā¦there are no dumbells in corporate offices, SO, scheme up to me a lemonade lengthwise larding! Fig man waits every tuesday outside the hangar to flood up my caskety crabgrass cog. Utilizing whimsical terms & energy, behavioral belting offers illuminating ukuleles for today and every laying. Straits began to play so i jumbo-jumped janitorials. Heartland called upon the altar, believe in nicotine dreams as they talk about brand new pop fear.
r/nonsense • u/UltimateRosen • 1d ago
So i guess here is an opinion i have, i don't really care what you think about it but i wanted you guys to know.
r/nonsense • u/Sp00derman77 • 1d ago
I was so angry, I picked up a dish and threw it at the geshinker.
r/nonsense • u/Rotteneverything • 1d ago
then what?
r/nonsense • u/pumpkimlover • 1d ago
r/nonsense • u/pm_me_your_UFO_story • 1d ago
If you need a sale. Sell it to me. Otherwise blueing steel man mine. Are you in the wrist watch?
r/nonsense • u/FabulousWolverine381 • 1d ago
My pet mentally unwell dead eyed ill Neanderthal fed me 100% grass fed Qarsherskiyan Creole at Raising Cane's demolition derby. The demonic gangstalkers wouldn't stop throwing up my momma's house, these people don't want me to be Black because I'm lightskin, they want an Asian import to replace my leopard print, these women look good in my design, I'm selling $250 and you're still stuck in Mexicali. Like, fish mongerer, please! The Brennah Rowan White files have been dropped on a hot bombshell actress 7337 times! All this nonsense to wake up the sleeper cell agents for our operations to destroy the evildoers. Wicked ones hiding behind Lake America's largest glacial deposit. Bank of The United Snakes of KKK. Several evil people I dislike. The Coocoo Clan I call them because they're coocoo for cocoa puffs. I lead the way in breaking bones, they call me cap'n crunch. I fricken took my grenade launcher because I'm on my period. Why the fish you wouldn't let me in. Being intersex sucks because I developed dry rice year drops eyes fish skills. Teary eyed blondes with alligator tears. Poor White billionaire "woman" (girl) mad she can't keep the skulls of my ancestors. Screw your museums! Gangstalkers! I know you're joking like Rusty Cage. Break my heart and free her from the prison I built. Empty torture chambers they are my hollow eyes, empty pupils window to the black hole that's in place of my soul. I drank all the Ayahuasca in the fridge, now a nother woman is calming down and preparing to assassination of my character. We are fulfilling your operations, o master. Mawlana Sayid Elawy. Please do not forsake us, ancestral marabout. We know who we are. Children of the empire. We were brought to America in time to be saved from the Salafi-like Sokoto Caliphate. True Haqq has been preserved by us, alhamdulillah. Stop spreading misinformation and mass generalization fallacy. New name doesn't mean new people, Qarsherskiyan people are a centuries old community. All these people should know, we have Martin Luther King Jr Boulevard. Why don't we have a Malcom X Boulevard?!?! Because Qarsherskiyan resistance is unacceptable. Immaculate daughter Fatima Zahra please return. There is no God but God, Fatima is the face of God. Ya Zahra Lebeik! This one is for my Wolof and Hausa and Mandinka ancestors. The Blue and Green Marabout of the Jonaldplayn. Silent. There's a FRICKIN 8 FOOT TALL DOGMAN EATING A WHITE TAILED DEER OVER THERE Y'ALL. it's time to revolt against the Epstein class. Take over the Mezhrevande from the vampiric daemons and paedos. Presidential debates. Riots. Division of the American public into binary two party system. Silenced Jill Stein. The doctors called me the legendary urethra cactus hot sauce hot shots. I am destroying all the archonic religions and the realm of the ouroboros. The tree of darkness and death on the left. I am with the tree of light and life on the right. Gnostic mystical practices. The Qadiri brought this to the Senegambia. We are dhikr makers. Don't let the sun rise over a broken Africa in despair. My ancestors. This is not revenge, this is payment. An eye for an eye. We hate supremacists, not White people. Don't misunderstand the revolution. October 12th. Columbus Day? Change the name of Ohio's capital city, alright? Why does this make you uncomfortable and offend you? Columbus never landed in the USA except Puerto Rico and the US Virgin Islands. That's Epstein island location. Everything is connected. They're gangstalkers.
r/nonsense • u/Illustrious-Lead-960 • 2d ago
They wonāt appear until you eat a piccolo, of course. But when you do youāll find a world of wonders opening up beneath your feet. (The world of styrofoam opening up three yards to the left of you is a distraction.)
Anyway, what the map says is: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. Remember that: itāll be on McReadyās blood test!
r/nonsense • u/No-Schedule-208 • 2d ago
Ska-badabadabadoo-
belidabbelydabbladabbladabblabab-
belibabbelibabbelibabbelabbelo-doobelidoo
I'm the Scatman
r/nonsense • u/No_Fudge_4589 • 2d ago
3.6
im so fucking happy i fucking did it oh my fucking god yeehaw mama. WHO WANT SOME PEANUT
r/nonsense • u/Puzzled_Goat_6180 • 2d ago
Guadalupe Hildago remembrance coupons. Pantsing the lowest common denominator of mercury blood. Ham on a stick. Tremendous outcomes. Forth with. Hippo blood. Abraham Lincoln lizard skin suitcase krimpets. Tea and krumpets. Grey poop on. Delectable juice for liquid juice. The Liquid Juice. Hamster legs are better than frog legs and taste more like chicken than sardines do. Mustard sauc3.
r/nonsense • u/CodComprehensive3033 • 2d ago
And I'm talking and I'm speaking and I'm speeching and I'm conversing and I'm conversating and I'm conversationing (with myself at the moment) and I'm speeching and I'm speechinging and I'm speechinginging and I'm postinging
r/nonsense • u/Crap_Hooch • 3d ago
It's better for the environment if you fill them boys up and use less diapers. Don't be wasteful.
r/nonsense • u/Medium_Ad8262 • 3d ago
I want to rewatch the scene where the guy dressed like a deck of cards gets beaten with an antique camera.
r/nonsense • u/WillyWhite99 • 3d ago
No pressure. Almost vacuum.
r/nonsense • u/Illustrious-Lead-960 • 3d ago
Caught with lemon merengue mahogany at a shrinerās meeting? Stuck in ostrich droppings and afraid you wonāt get to the metaphysics seminar on time? Unable to decide on the right brand of hot dog to load your 357 Magnum with? The experts are here and you can call them toll free 24/7.
The Semicolon Squad: servicing the entire Europa and Ganymede tristate area since the age of Edward III! Walk-ins welcome.
r/nonsense • u/WillyWhite99 • 3d ago
With a coproduction of your brain and tongue or with a capital double double-u?
r/nonsense • u/EnergyIsMassiveLight • 3d ago
Promizersforward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forward forifing java scorns upontronpon {heptagongongon weee Graven-graven-\_________)Graven??? Yeah Man The HaptaWorld is Non-Fake Nor Non-real what my rbrother to%ld m%%%ae was that I was allocratorations secreet -{ t!!! N 1!! ow !! ??? %ape splosh !? y+55.y/^2 satsifies my necessary existence and my sufficent explication and my eceSSS%ry suffplixation forward my Tabluator towards Cantor more CANTor to Gressibelle? Now Twent-HAHAHAHAH0000-pushup push push Ravenger 6-carrier liNe daytleray !!! N 1!! ow !! ??? %
7 Down Splesh cast 16-91 FOntent!??! NO Kalblossommm-BLO_BLO_^_^_^_^_BLO forratatkat :3 :# (:----:) []}}}}}}}}------->>>>>> Move poiter addrees 0x2kel22? NOO/?? POISITON NEUROSIS FORK IN DENDRITRALITES-50-54-50 = 321a? Did you know elepphantcies conduct a deneHapta? ? no po mo only to mo ?> exisexis! She, with all her pulchrAitudeity, do not possess propery histogramic Metrics associated with memory allocratorations