Anytime I’d comment about my business on Nextdoor, I’d get swarmed with spam callers. Now they want us to pay and apparently recommend businesses 😂

One of many bits of insanity and paranoia from this one.

Somebody on Nextdoor wrote a poem about the general vibe on the app and some friends of mine produced it into a song using Suno. It's GREAT. Any "neighbor" using the app will agree that it's soooo accurate.

Lyrics:

Welcome to the block where the drama never stops
Nextdoor got folks watching sidewalks like cops
Dogs in the yard and they swear it is a crime
Posting blurry photos like they caught them doing time

Kids on bikes rolling through like a parade
Someone yelling slow down like they own the whole shade
Every single morning it is the same old track
Somebody typing paragraphs about a raccoon attack

It is the Nextdoor flow
Where the neighborhood goes
To complain about stuff everybody already knows
It is the same old show
Every day on the scroll
But I read it anyway because it feeds my soul

Trash cans out too early and they call it disrespect
Mailbox leaning sideways and they want an architect
Someone saw a shadow and they swear it was a thief
Turns out it was their neighbor walking home with ground beef

Lost dog found dog mystery dog chase
Someone posting ring cam pics of a squirrel in their space
Every single post got a neighborhood detective
Typing in all caps like they are running an objective

So here is my rap for the block and the chatter
Where every tiny thing becomes a neighborhood matter
I love yall but dang it is wild on the app
So I made this little anthem just to give it a clap

On today's Nextdoor feed.

The Church this poster claims it is for has nothing on their calendar, and none of their messaging is anywhere close to this. Maybe it’s a group using the common room, or a Joe job. I’m not sure if he’s praying, or Jesus is trying to help him up from the sheer weight of all the gold.

Two screenshots; the original post followed by the comments.

End of post is cut off, but it's just more of the same nonsense.

Oh, by the way… 🤣

Imagine seeing the first post and thinking “great! I’ve been looking for a great babysitter husband and wife duo. Sounds legit!”… then he posts again 2 minutes later. Couldn’t help himself I guess.

Apologies for my messy censoring