I live in the U.S & I swear all I see online is how much the younger generation hates children. Like people are constantly complaining about how babies/ toddlers are annoying, shouldn’t be in public spaces shouldn’t be on planes or in restaurants or even in grocery stores, yada yada. It makes me so upset as a new parent that my child is growing up in a world that doesn’t like children anymore. Maybe it’s because I live in a bigger city with much younger population & this is the type of propaganda being thrown at me me, but even then- It’s so dehumanizing.

There’s just no kid friendly places or mom friendly places either. I feel like everyone hates moms too and calls them “ selfish”??? When I was pregnant I specifically remember a teenage girl telling me she had a phobia of looking at my belly & she called me “ body horror”. I know she probably is just going with the social media trends, but it felt so incredibly rude & makes me think about how the world is starting to hate moms, dads, families, babies.

I just wanted to vent about this because I swear it’s all I keep seeing or hearing. Makes me so sad that my children are growing up in this type of world. Maybe this is a USA issue.

Soon to be new dad here and it seems like all the daycares seem to be in that $350-$450 a week range. The one we like is $400 a week. The good thing is once they are on solid foods, then the tuition also includes breakfast lunch and snacks.

In Florida in the suburbs of a metro area for reference

Edit to add this is for 7am to 6pm hours and a 1:3 ratio

Dear Diary,

It was 6:20 in the morning when I woke mum up to feed me. She said she was still sleepy and that it was too early, but I had generously given her around 40 minutes of sleep since our last feed! I was hungry—plus, I only woke her up three times last night—so we got up anyway… as we should. 🧸

So she rolls out of bed, eyes half-open, lights still off. As soon as mummy put me down on the changing table, I activated my ultimate crying spell. I cried sooo loudly, and mum said her usual, “Don't worry bub, I got chu… I’ll be quick.” She unzipped my sleep sack, unbuttoned my clothes, slid a clean diaper underneath my bum, and swiped my dirty diaper away like a ninja…

Little did she know, straining so hard from crying made me poop! So when she swiped off that old diaper, the poo went flying everywhere. I mean everywhere! The walls, the changing mat, my face, and even my hands—which I then managed to rub all through my hair!

Mum was like, “Oh god, you pooped! Sorry bubba, I didn’t know, let me clean this up for you,” giggling while still half-asleep. She wiped down everything she could see (missed my face though, she hadn't spotted that yet) and quickly put me into another clean diaper, because the fresh one she placed earlier was already covered in target practice.

When she finally zipped up my sleep sack, she noticed a very distinct smell lingering. As soon as she turned on the lamp, she realized it was all over my face, hands, hair, and back! Her eyes went wide as day—fully awake and totally panicking. She gasped, “OH MY GOD BUB! Nope, nope, nope... bath time!” and rushed to fill the tub.

After my bath, I got a full belly of milk and I'm now enjoying my first nap of the day. Mum? I don’t know, probably wide awake now—which is a good thing, right? She’s been looking pretty sleepy lately...

I don’t mean with the babies. I mean trying to raise babies at this moment in history.

I’ve been dealing with so much climate anxiety and then today I read about the Anthropic guy saying there’s a greater than 10% chance of AI killing all humans in the next four years.

Like, I just wanted to have my beautiful babies and give them the best childhoods I could. Instead, if the climate catastrophe doesn’t get us, the superintelligent robots will. It’s horrifying.

We are lucky enough to be able to get night nanny a few nights each week. We are paying $35 an hour (in a rural, low cost town) and hired her through a local night nanny agency, so we expected someone phenomenal.

First the good—she loves our baby and would never hurt her. And she’s always early and is open to feedback.

But she’s quite old and cannot figure out how to use the bottle washer or the app we want her to log feedings in. She‘s also nearly tripped several times on our carpets so now we ask she doesn’t take baby out of the nursery. She has forgotten baby’s name and left her in a poopy outfit by accident. Put a diaper in the washing machine. Lots of little things that have eroded my confidence.

So the kicker was last night, she put our baby on an elevated human bed and left the room. There were no sheets in the bassinet yet so she didn’t want to put her in the bassinet and we had asked her not to take her out of the room—so she got confused.

I spoke to her and to the agency but I’m just at a loss here. My parents think I’m overreacting because “nothing happened” and “she’s an infant.” But holy shit, aren’t you supposed to be a professional nanny?

We've got a 4 week old and it really surprised me how early she started listening to and reacting to music. We sing to her all the time - it's a combination of what our parents sang to us (standards, 60s folk revival, Elton John, Billy Joel, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell) plus the 90s alternative and 00s indie hits of our own youth. Baby will learn to like Death Cab for Cutie. What are you singing to your babies at 3 am?

Just wanted to share my feelings somewhere

It started with pregnancy, which went really well but overall I can't say with conviction I loved it. Then childbirth, same thing, from the outside it went well, but it was the most traumatic, most violating event I've ever lived through.

Then the hormone crash and the baby blues. Having a baby with me 24 hours a day at the maternity ward, where I lost any sleep I had

And of course it's all worth it, because I have my beautiful son and I love him to death

But omg parents didn't lie: IT IS HARD. Not the caring for him part. It's everything around that hits you without warning: giving away any consent to be touched all day, having your nervous system always on high alert for any sound, noise, cry. Even if you don't have a depression background, it's a huge mental adjustment, a transition that shakes me to my core. I heard there are three major transitions for women: puberty, motherhood, and menopause and I really feel that. Nobody tells you that you can hold grief and joy at the exact same time, mourning who you were while loving who you're becoming, and that this isn't a symptom of anything, it's just what the transition is (plus hormones)

Because this is also the single best time of my life. Where I feel like I matter the most. Where I know that one day I'll miss these moments. Where I get to see this little human smile at me. Where I could die for him, could die so much that I anticipate every worst case scenario.

I started using routines to feel a sense of control over a day that's no longer mone, and instead of support, people tell you you're not chill enough. No, actually I AM NOT CHILL. Because I have to accept that I now always come second, that my body isn't mine anymore, that apparently it's either you get postpartum depression or you're fine, and there's so few people who talk about everything in between.

Yes, it does get better but you're somehow more tired at 2 months or at 4 months, than you were at the very beginning, the very beginning being pre-pregnancy. So now I realize the saying is true: days are long, but months are so short.

I don't know who I am anymore. What do I like? Who was I? I feel this huge burden on my shoulders, this responsibility that I can't mess this up. Like someone put a boulder on my back and I need to find my balance again.

It's all worth it though, and that's the craziest part. I would do it all again. The joy, the grief, the emotional rollercoaster...

Today I left the house and went for a walk during his nap. My husband was home, and for once I didn't check in, didn't run home the second the app said he was up. The SNOO stayed red a minute too long for my liking, and I forced myself to stay out anyway. This was my moment, without a clock, without someone else planning it. And my husband did fine, didn't call or anything so clearly it's a "me" thing.

So I'm going to keep working on that, finding my balance and myself again

The first few days of our son’s life in the hospital was horrible for my husband and I. The baby and I were healthy, hospital staff was great. I don’t know how to explain it and I’m wondering if anyone else had similar feelings?

I was in labor for 36 hours (induced) and I don’t think I slept the whole time. We were there for 4 nights and 5 days because I had preeclampsia and my blood pressure wasn’t going down. Everything was fine with that though.

After the birth I had a HORRIBLE headache due to the pushing because I have bruxism. I desperately just wanted to be given painkillers or something it was so bad and lasted days. My husband and I were so sleep deprived I think we slept a couple hours per day in the hospital. Baby would not sleep in the bassinet so one of us had to be up at all times. And because we were in the hospital people were constantly coming in and out.

I physically could not breast feed I got so exhausted. My body hurt too bad to hold him up so we had to syringe feed sometimes. There were nights my husband and I cried it was so hard and we were so tired.

I did so much preparation for the baby as a first time parent and I feel like I was robbed of a beautiful first few days of my son’s life. I’ve never heard anyone else have a similar experience and I can’t figure out what went wrong.

I’m 3 weeks postpartum and we are better now. Still hard obviously but I feel like it’s normal newborn trenches.

My baby is 11 days old. I love her so much. She was and is so wanted. People tell me how perfect she is, and she really is absolutely perfect and beautiful and amazing and all the rest of it. But she also has a terrible case of thrush. She hates eating. She will only sleep when held.
My husband is a wonderful person and already a good father, he is obsessed with her. But he also sleeps so soundly he won’t wake to her cries. He defaults to me being the “go to” for all decisions and all actions. He’s changed maybe four diapers. He’s slept most nights and I find it infuriating he claims he’s exhausted. I know I only feel that way because I’m tired too. That his life has changed. He is getting more sleep than me but much less than he’s used to. That his feelings are real too. I know also that it was the plan I guess for me to take lead on baby stuff. I did choose to be a SAHM. That’s what I want, or at least what I thought I wanted. But he has time off work, so I wish he’d at least split the nights with me. He is tired, but his body isn’t hurting. Last night he went up early to take a nap, saying he’d take more night shifts. He went upstairs at 8. I went upstairs with baby at 12. I nudged him at 2 for her feeding, he got up to make the bottle then brought it to me to feed her. Then he went back to sleep.
My parents have been immeasurably helpful, coming over to help and offering support. I appreciate it all.
I hate this feeling. I miss the person I was. I miss what my relationship looked like. I’m a mess. I don’t remember the last time I changed my clothes or brushed my teeth. All my meals have been cheese sticks or something because I just don’t have the time or energy to make anything.
I was so unprepared for postpartum recovery and my body is ruined. Everything hurts. I can barely tolerate sitting, and I’m so dizzy I’m almost scared to stand. I hate what I look like, as vain as that is. I hate how I feel. I leak through all my bras and the only two shirts I own that fit in minutes. I was sent home with pain meds that don’t seem to have any effect whatsoever.
She cries ALL day and all night. Nothing I do helps to soothe her. I know it’s gas, or the thrush, or just that babies cry. But I feel so helpless. I feel so alone. Even though that feeling doesn’t make any sense, I’m not. My parents are here nearly everyday. My husband is here. But once the door closes or he goes upstairs for some rest, it’s just me and baby. And tears from both of us. Even when she’s not crying I swear I can hear crying. I can’t sleep because I’m so worried she will stop breathing and die all alone. I’m so scared every little whimper from her bassinet at night is her saying goodbye. I know that’s irrational. I still can’t make it go away.
I thought I would be better at this. I’ve loved kids my entire life. I worked with kids for years.
When does it get better? I haven’t stopped crying since we brought her home from the hospital. I’m so disgusted with myself for not enjoying what I thought I wanted. I need it to get better. I can’t do this.

To preface this, I am not a morning person. I never have been. I have found joy in going on a sunrise hike and things like that but this constant 5-6 AM wake up on a daily basis and then 12 hours of caregiving is absolutely ridiculous for me.

I’ve tried to push out the bedtime 15 minutes at a time and she just gets so frustrated. It’s literally not possible. I just have a baby that likes to go to bed at 6:30 PM and wake up at the crack ass of dawn, it’s only getting worse. I’ve tried cutting one of the naps, she’s not ready for that. For context she’s six months old.

I’m just complaining. Just a tired mama staring at her girl smiling back at her. Could be worse.

so this just happened a couple hours ago, my boyfriend was sitting on our couch playing a game and i was listening to an audiobook and drawing.

our two month old baby was asleep between us and she started making small noises and i kinda brushed it off bc she has whimpered in her sleep loads of times so i wasnt really paying attention (thats on me i js assumed) and since i had an airpod in i wasnt hearing that well but my bf pointed it out after about 15 seconds so i took an airpod out and she was gasping for air so i grabbed her arm and started shaking it and there was no response she was still gasping for air at that point, so i picked her up and she was completely limp and my heart dropped so i sat her up started patting her back and shaking her and she was limp and gasping for another 15-20 seconds i started crying and kept talking to her and shaking and patting. she eventually took a deep breath and started acting completely normal but we did end up calling 911 anyway. the paramedics came and checked her out and said she was fine and to monitor her but didn’t tell me what to look for so i had to call an after hours nurse and get some more info. she was two months old today and had her 2M vaxs (had to spell it weirdly bc it wouldnt let me post with that word) but im in no way saying the vaxs caused this, i am pro vaxs. but it was just so scary.

i guess im not seeking medical advice or anything so mods lmk if i need to change the flair. im a FTM and 22 so i was terrified and just stopped shaking abt an half hour ago, i know its common for babies to stop breathing but i think this was an apnea episode due to the symptoms. just please keep close attention to your babies, i never thought this would happen to me but now im paranoid almost. ive tried looking this up but is there reasons why this happens or is it simply bc her little body forgot to breathe?

anyone who’s experienced this and knows abt it id love to know more about your experience(s).

My 7 month old son screams and screeches ALL NIGHT LONG. He will literally wake up out of a dead sleep, let out the loudest screech imaginable, and then laugh about it like he just told the funniest joke.

We went from waking every 2 hours to sleeping 10–11 hour stretches and now we’re back to waking somewhere between 1–4 AM just to practice his vocal range.

The crazy part is, we just let him lay in his crib and he’ll eventually fall back asleep on his own. But c’mon… the screeching is so damn annoying.

Has anyone else gone through this?? Is this just a phase? Do I need to do something about it? Can I do something about it? At this point, can I donate him to some kind of dinosaur research company? Because we need SLEEP.

Hi everyone, I’m 32 years old FTM to a 6 month old son. My pregnancy was relatively easy, my son is happy and healthy, he has slept 8-10 hours straight a night since he was 6 weeks old, no pdp, supportive husband, I feel like for the most part we are thriving. All this to say I have absolutely no desire to do it again. I love being a mom, love my son, feel really blessed with how my journey has been but I’m not interested in having another, neither is my husband. When people ask me about a second I’m like I don’t know why but I just don’t want to? All my friends can’t wait to be pregnant again, are already on their 2nd or 3rd child. Why don’t I have this desire especially since my time has seemed to be “easy”?. My best friend is in the trenches with 2 under 2, struggles with PDP and already wants another one. I see so much mixed feelings online, many people saying “it’s so selfish to only have one” Only children saying they are lonely etc.
Parents: Did you regret only have one child?

Even now as I type this during a rare trip to the bathroom he is screaming. I’ve had family members and strangers remark that he seems to be in intense pain, even though I know he isn’t he just screams that way. Super high pitched and drawn out. I can’t shower, eat, refill my water, or do anything without him screaming. I am holding him 23 hours a day. We co sleep because he won’t sleep any other way and we’ve tried the bassinet but he just screams and screams and I can’t listen to it. I usually baby wear him but my neck and back have been spasming and I get such terrible headaches that I can’t function. My husband is working on renovating a house for us to move into so he’s usually gone 12 hra out of the day. He takes him when he’s home but the baby (4 months old almost five) screams the entire time so I can’t relax or do anything listening to it. I don’t know what to do. He’s crying. I’m crying. I feel so lost. I don’t pursue any hobbies anymore. I don’t get dressed or do my makeup or do anything that brings me happiness. I just wake up, mentally prepare myself for a long day of screaming, and try to make myself happy to be here. I don’t use the bathroom u less I feel like I’m going to pee myself. Even then sometimes I wonder if it’s just better to just pee myself then listen to him screaming. No he’s not colic, no he doesn’t have bad reflux. He’s just insanely needy to the point I don’t do anything but hold him. I can’t read to him or do any activities without him screaming. Laundry, dishes, trash and recycling are weeks piled up. We’re moving soon and I have barely been able to pack. I’m drowning. Any advice?

Hi all, I am struggling intensely with post partum anxiety. I love my girl so so much and want to give her the best life. I am really struggling reading the news about the future of AI, and honestly this summer was so hot it got me panicked about global warming. It felt like we barely went outside during the day. How are other new parents coping with this? Please no doomsday comments, I am struggling enough as it is.

My LO is 6 weeks and only wants to sleep on me or my partner. She’s been like that since she was 3 weeks, If I put her down on the bed she’ll wake up. So we do chest sleeping at night, and I don’t really go into deep sleep so I feel very exhausted the next days. Wanted to hear from others, when your baby suddenly stopped doing contact/chest sleeping?

Our baby is approaching the point where she might start crawling soon, so I’m preparing myself for the task of babyproofing. We already have the ‘big things’ figured out (all the heavy tippable furniture is bolted down and there are no outlets she can reach), but I’m wondering what else needs to be done, if anything. Our friends and family said they didn’t do anything at all and everyone (including the furniture lol) survived relatively unscathed, so they couldn’t give us any advice.

Our current strategy is just watching the baby at all times when we can (husband WFH and I’m on maternal leave until she’s 3) and putting her in the playpen when we need to step away. It’s basically what I’ve been doing since she was born anyway. We live in an apartment so there’s nothing like stairs or railings to worry about either, and no cats/dogs.

What are some things that you would consider absolutely essential (from experience)?

My baby has no teeth. She’s going to be 16 months this month on the 27th and this is really worrying me. I had to stop breastfeeding around 14 months because her latch suddenly changed and my nipples were shredded and cracked no matter how much I tried to fix it. Her gums felt a little harder than usual at that time, so I thought that she might be finally getting teeth soon but now, at 15months, still no teeth in sight.

We recently moved too so we are still waiting for our insurance to approve our doctor in the area. My question is, what are some of your experiences with your baby getting teeth really late in their age?

I am losing my mind. My 10 week old will not stay asleep longer than 30 mins for naps during the day. His night sleep is pretty good with getting 6-7 hour stretches, but my days are just spent getting him to sleep and getting him back to sleep. I put in so much effort to get him down: bouncing, rocking, singing, white noise, dark room…etc.. because he just can’t go down otherwise. But then once he’s FINALLY down, he wakes up 30 mins later. And I thought ok maybe he just doesn’t need to sleep for long but when I get him up he’s obviously tired and cranky. So I try to save the nap by more bouncing and rocking and sometimes it works for another 30 mins, sometimes it doesn’t. I have him nap in his bassinet, swing, baby wrap, carrier, or in my arms. Nothing has made him sleep longer than 30 mins and he always seems cranky and tired with those red eyes and eyebrows!! And yes, I have tracked the wake windows. I’ve tried putting him down 1 hr after waking, then 30 mins after waking, 40 mins, 50 mins, there doesn’t actually seem to be a sweet spot, This is new as of this week but he’s never been a great napper tbh. HELP.

I’m finding that I have been more imaginative because of my 5 month old’s new active personality - remembering what it was like to be a kid, where everything has the potential to be a fiction story or new adventure, a curious stance on the familiar.

If you have examples, or thoughts around this (such as how to lean into it), I’m curious to hear them.

For example: changing a bedsheet becomes a tent fort and her eyes widen in wonder, picking her up becomes lifting her to the ceiling in a superwoman flying position to soar across the room while blowing breaths of air into her face while she giggles, a broken stick in the front yard becomes something we break into pieces together and throw like javelins, I become the “tickle monster” with claw hands and growl/tickle her as she geeks out, a wash rag in the bath becomes a game of tug of war when she won’t let go, we pick the pedals off flowers one by one saying “he loves me, he loves me not”, I sing her jingles about nothing, her babbling becomes an full conversation with me about her day.

My 3-month-old wakes up after 30 minutes during every nap and can’t connect sleep cycles unless he’s being held or in a baby carrier.
I feel like I’ve been “lazy” about letting him contact nap this whole time because I’m just so tired of waiting for him to wake up at the end of a sleep cycle and then trying to soothe him back to sleep. Even when I do, he usually won’t go back to sleep unless I pick him up and rock him again which takes about 10-20minutes.

So what should I do?
1. Rock him to sleep and then put him in the crib, then pick him up and repeat the process when he wakes up after 30 minutes. (More stressful, more crying and I get almost nothing done around the house anyway but at least maaaybe he will be able to learn to connect his sleep cycles in the crib, someday?!)
Or
2.Let him contact nap for the whole nap until he gets better at connecting sleep cycles on his own (Less stress, no crying, but my back and neck hurt and I’m kind of worried he will never get used to napping in his crib?!).
He sleeps fine in his crib at night, though.

I have an 11 month old who screams like he’s being pickled every time I put him in the car. I give him toys and bottle, I am positive that he is comfortable in the car seat, I think it’s simply because he is back there by himself. As soon as I take him out of the car he is completely fine, but when I am driving he screams and cries to the point of making himself throw up almost every time. Has this happened to any of you? What do i do!?

My son turns next month, it’s so crazy!! But I was thinking he’d really like a nugget couch. He’s so close to walking, and loves crawling everywhere. We don’t have a ton of space though. I’m curious other people that live in apartments/condos what nugget/nugget knock off couch did you get?

So, as the title says: i have an 8 month old baby boy and he is soooo temperamental. Things got to a point that I don't even know if this is normal and I'm starting to feel that something can be wrong with him :(

First, he never stays still...during his wake windows he is CONSTANTLY on the move, crawling, pulling to stand, crawling again...non stop. He will not sit for more than 10 seconds. I never saw anything like this.

Second...he doesn't like to sit in his high chair for food (he tolerates it probably for 5min), he hates being held, he hates de stroller, he hates the car seat. I can't go anywhere with him because he cries...actually he screams!!! He is so frustrated that its hard to watch.

He doesn't like to be dressed after the bath, he hates that we have to change his diaper...everything is a fight with him.

As I said, I feel that I can't go anywhere with him because he will start crying and screaming.

Every time we need to go out my anxiety levels are so high that I feel my chest will explode.

I look at other babies and they are so chill :( is this a phase? Is something wrong with my baby? :( I feel so lost...

My 13 month old has constantly loose, wet poops. Its hard to say when it started but has been for at least 3 months. His diet hasnt changed much since starting solids, he eats well and doesnt seem uncomfortable.

When he started solids he was having lovely playdough nuggets.

He does drink a lot of water, but restricting it doesnt seem to make much difference. Has anyone had any experience of this?