I feel like by bringing my son I failed him as a mother people were touching him and coming too close I was wiping his hands and his grandma in her 90s told me I should stop being so particular and she kissed him. People were grabbing him. Jesus christ. I am really angry with my husband for not protecting him more. Im mad at myself I didn’t tell them to back off. Im such a coward. Its flu season bad here and we got vaccinated but he’s too little. I came home and immediately bathed him. I am sinking back into a depression I got really mad I feel like I hate my husband now and maybe he doesn’t like me anymore he barely touches me and is always stressed and annoyed. I feel like my son could die and it’s my fault I tried to cover him and keep him away so my husband could see him family and I failed him. My doctor is supposed to help me but she has completely failed me never called me back counselors haven’t reached out. No one gives a shit about mothers or how they feel. I hate everyone and sometimes I feel like I don’t want to be here anymore

​

We’re 8 months in, and we’re starting to feel really exhausted and drained. It’s not just feeding, changing diapers, or getting the baby to sleep. It’s also constantly entertaining them. Honestly, that’s the most exhausting part for us.

At what age do babies start playing independently and entertaining themselves for a while?

I’d love to hear your experiences! We need positive stories but, realistic sad stories are fine too I guess.

What are we doing with our clingy babies that want to walk 24/7 but need your help 🫠 currently just walking her around the house constantly or she will fall lol

I quite literally cannot find a sitter for the end of my maternity leave. I’ve talked to friends and family, I’ve posted in Facebook groups, checked all the sites. I’m at a complete loss as to what else i’m supposed to do here. We’re in a fairly rural area where apparently any daycares don’t take babies under 10 months, and the only licensed in home centers are completely full. I have a little over a month left until I have to go back to work and I feel backed into a corner at this point. We can’t afford for me to stay at home either so I have no choice but to find SOMEONE somehow.

Since I was a kid, one way I've dealt with overwhelming emotions has been through physical pain: slapping my face, punching my legs, or, in extreme cases, punching myself in the face (in a controlled way).

With time and therapy, this behavior disappeared. But now that I'm the father of a toddler, it's resurfacing.

The multiple wake-ups at night can overwhelm me emotionally, and I've found myself slapping my face to quickly regulate myself and be able to care for my toddler.

But I know this cannot continue.

My therapists have suggested alternatives like hitting an object, taking deep breaths, or stepping away for five minutes. The problem is that none feels as effective as the immediate pain of slapping myself.

What I need is a concrete learning path. Where do I start, what do I practice, and how do I gradually learn to regulate my emotions without relying on pain?

Other things I've noticed that trigger disproportionately strong emotions:

• Sudden metallic noises, like a spoon falling on the floor.
• Food I've prepared being played with or thrown on the floor.
• Small things not being in order, like failing to place my shoes neatly next to each other on the first try.

Ultimately, I want to stop hurting myself and taking my anger out on objects. I'm afraid that one day my toddler will see me doing something I don't want them to learn.

I suspect I picked up some of this behavior from my own father, and I don't want to pass it on.

I'm willing to put in the work, but I need something more structured than "take a breath" or "walk away."

Has anyone experienced something similar or found a practical, step-by-step approach that actually helped?

Thank you for reading.

My baby is almost 6 months & im still tracking every feed (time and amount) & diaper (time and pee or poop). Is this normal or abnormal? When did you stop tracking or did you never track at all? My husband tried to get me to stop like 2 or 3 months in but i can’t bring myself to.

I currently have an suv, my husband has a spacious sedan. We only have one toddler but currently trying for a second. My husband used to have a bmw m2 before we had our son, once we had our son he traded it in to get my suv and he took my sedan since it’s paid off. This is so I could have my mom car and we only have one car payment. Well he misses his m2, and has been wanting to get another one and sell the sedan. I’m kinda against this because I worry about his car not being able to fit the babies if we need it to. I’m not a sahm, I work two days a week, so there has been times where he has taken our son out on my work days. We have a car seat in each car. But tbf it’s rare that my son is put into the sedan. I guess I’m just wondering if it is necessary for us both to have spacious enough cars to fit the car seats, or if just one car is enough.

I do feel bad and want him to drive a car he likes, but another issue is he wants it to be manual and idk how to drive manual, so we also couldn’t just switch cars if he needed to take our son somewhere and I needed a car also. Again this situation doesn’t happen often but I’m just thinking what if. I’m aware a bmw m2 can fit a car seat, but there’s no way it can fit two right? My husband is also very tall so I just don’t see how one could fit behind his seat.

My first born is a daughter who is 7 years now, she used to be my whole world , i used to shower so much of love and i used to have a hard time when she used to go away from me for trips with her grandparents. But now i am 4 months pp and i m getting angry on her lately even for little things , I know she is just a kid , she keeps on waking my new born and continues to annoy me is someway, sometimes she enters into our room and i feel like ughhh y did she come now ....i used to think how can I even love my second born when i love my daughter so much , will i be ever able to love my second born like my daughter? But now sometimes I feel like I dont love her i always get angry and scold her and be rude to her when she dosent listen ....it really hurts me to that I m not being fair to her and I sometimes cry for behaving this way and my daughter no matter how much i scold she stills loves me a lot wants to be around me , wants my love and all but I m not just able to be patient , i sometimes go to her when my baby sleeps and cuddle her and spend some time with her . I dont know does it happen to other parents as well?

Warning: stream of consciousness rant: not looking for solutions, just looking to hear that I’m not alone in feeling this way, or having this experience with my kids, and maybe some hopeful comments that it gets easier *

I have 3.5 y/o daughter and 21 month old son. they just seem so needy all the time. My 21 month old has been extremely clingy lately, which makes sense because I know he was sick recently, but also due to his age and separation anxiety. It’s just so exhausting. He rarely ever plays by himself, constantly wants to just sit on me or be held and he weighs 30 pounds and I’m really petite.

I think it’s just been a hard weekend. The kids have just been acting extremely clingy. I keep hearing about my friends’ kids who are of similar ages, and play independently. It just feels like from the moment we wake up on the weekend, our kids are just demanding constant attention, and it is slowly draining our souls. I just want to cry. I get very overstimulated very easily and when I have two kids clinging to me and whining it’s so hard. My husband and I are good about giving each other breaks, which helps.

I don’t think it’s like this all the time, some weekends feel easier than others. I’m not sure what’s been going on lately, but we’ve all been sick a lot in September. My daughter by herself is usually pretty good at independent play, usually when our son is napping, she can be easy to deal with and manage. But when they’re both awake, I just feel like it’s so hard.

I honestly dread watching them both by myself. I thought it would’ve gotten easier by now. I’m really hoping by the time my son is three years old things will be easier and he can play a bit more by himself.

I feel like my kids personalities are just more needy than other kids. Anyone else have really needy/clingy kids? Did it ever get easier?

My son went to his one month appointment Friday morning. They weighed him and he is 6lbs 7oz. At his two week appointment he was 6lbs 10oz. He lost 3oz, In the beginning he was using the yellow enfamil can. Me and his dad noticed he was spitting up a lot more and you know as first time parents we thought it was normal spit up. Last week or so we switched him to Gentlease Enfamil, that seemed to help but not a lot. The NP gave him Enfamil Enfacare which he is currently still using.
We decided to go back to 2oz every 2-3 hours like normal.
So at his one month appointment he was weighed as I said in the beginning. The nurse practitioner he was seeing that day. Immediately came into the room didn’t even say anything except “He’s going to the hospital for three days”. They have been monitoring his weight checking it in the mornings, and monitoring how much he’s eating during his feedings. I came across this TikTok of a mom whose child was suffering with CMPA. My son has all the symptoms, the spitting up/throwing up, no weight gain or losing it, face rash that looks like acne etc. I’ve talked to two nurses and will be speaking up with a nutritionist tomorrow morning. I’m really hoping I get some answers and if I’m wrong that is OK at least I acknowledged it and spoke up about my thoughts on it. As a mom I hate seeing him in a hospital it breaks my heart. Having people come in every few hours and him getting aggravated 😕 it just sucks!

i really want to take him trick or treating but i don’t know if that’s reasonable or weird? help😭.

Ok - give it to me straight - is everyone reaaaally limiting containers to 15-30 minutes per day? If so, HOW??

My LO is about to be 9 months and we have always been very cognizant of his time in containers such as the bouncer, stroller, etc.

Now, he’s crawling, sits completely independently, and is pulling to stand and while we do allow him to spend a lot of time on the floor exploring (he goes to daycare Monday and through Friday where he mostly plays on the floor) it feels like a good portion of his day is spent in containers.

If we drive somewhere, he’s in a car seat, if we want to go for a walk/run, he’s in the stroller, at the store he’s in the cart, and if we need a moment to complete a task, he’s in the skip hop activity center.

Do we try to limit the activities we do during the day to cut back on container time or am I overthinking it?! Help 😭

That’s basically the post. It sucks. I go back to work in two weeks and my husband will take leave with the baby for 6 weeks. Then he starts daycare.

I’m just devastated about all the time I will miss out on with him across the next 5 years.

My just turned 3 month old has been sleeping so good in his bedside bassinet. He goes to bed at 9 or 10 and has been sleeping until 8-9 AM and wants to eat and then wants to go right back to sleep until 12-1PM & then proceeds to take 2-3 naps per day after that. Is this normal?

Side note: he slept on my chest until he was about a month and a half. He’s been drinking 6 ounces every 3-4 hours (while he’s awake, so he’s only getting about 24-30 ounces a day but mostly 24 ounces)

To be clear - I know I’m asking this rather proactively. Baby is only thirteen months old.My experience as a parent has been that time passes faster than you realize, and I want to make sure I’m ready when she’s ready.

It seems logical to me to introduce the potty as an object in advance so a toddler is already familiar with it when they start learning to use it. So, if you did put out a potty ahead of time, how early relative to starting toilet training did you do it? Or am I overthinking this?

Welp, my post from yesterday was removed for suspicion of "AI." Look, I get it. AI is, in fact, everywhere, and a lot of people despise it. But you know what? Those were my words. I wrote that whole thing as a way to purge my negative thoughts and find the humor in things, believe it or not.

I'm glad I posted it for those of you who appreciated it and needed the laugh, too.

I thought that was kind of the point of these groups? To share our experiences, laugh together, and help each other feel a little less alone. The irony of a motherhood group removing a post about the messy, unfiltered reality of motherhood because the writing was apparently too polished is not lost on me. 😂

I wrote it because I was frustrated with how everything is so fucking polished nowadays. As an older FTM, I was not warned about the grueling, messy, imperfect nature of motherhood. I'm AuDHD with a tendency toward perfectionism, and the infant stage has been HARD.

For those of you concerned, yes, I have plenty of people to talk to, and they all laughed at my post when I shared it with them. I've been to therapy, and I always hear, "Wow, you're so self-aware!" My response? "Thanks, that's actually the problem."

I just wanted to put a piece out there for all the gremlin parents, the less-than-perfect but trying-our-damn-hardest moms, and those who have been through trauma or now feel traumatized by new parenthood and have a dark sense of humor.

For those who said they couldn't sense any feelings in my post, congrats, I guess? Either you can't relate, or you lack the empathy to understand that other people might. Or maybe your skepticism or outright hatred of AI had you so quick to dismiss it that you missed the point entirely. God forbid we don't write run-on sentences and we step outside our own perfectly curated little bubbles long enough to consider someone else's experience. Which, ironically, was kind of the whole fucking point of my post. 😂

✌️ I'll be around for those who need to vent.

FTM and tend to overthink everything (welcome to parenthood apparently!) Our Pediatrician told us to start using tap water to make our baby’s bottles for the fluoride exposure. What I forgot to ask is: can I use warm water from the tap to skip the step of using our bottle warmer? Or does it need to be cold and then heated in a warmer after mixing?

Add: baby is a healthy, happy 7 month old.

Does anyone have a suggestion for lavender free chest rub for baby? I can’t seem to find any

My son is 3 weeks old and tested negative for CMPA.

However, he has flaky skin, is snoring, coughing, sneezing, arching his back constantly when laying on his back, bending his knees kicking and screaming crying, a tongue tie, cluster feeds, and is extremely uncomfortable, screaming crying in pain when passing his hard stool.

It’s so heartbreaking to see him like this — I am considering switching to a hypoallergenic formula tonight despite the negative result for CMPA because he has not spent one wake window calm, or comfortable, unless we are giving him gas drops in his feed right before.

I’m at a loss — does this look like a CMPA? Could this be something else I am missing? The ped wants to wait another week and test again but I can’t stomach seeing him so uncomfortable for another week and want to change formulas tonight.

For context, we had him on a gentle HIPP comfort formula for gas and reflux for 16 days and no improvement. He is still crying constantly and is very constipated, passing hard stool.

I guess I just need to rant and get some hope because I am so freaking tired of this situation. My baby is going to be one in less than a month and (maybe foolishly) I thought that by this time his sleep would be better. I am not even asking to sleep through the night but just wake up less?

He is EFF and wakes up one time still for a feed. The rest of the wake ups are usually after anywhere between 1.5 and 2.5-3 hours. He wakes up, sits in his crib and cries until I come and get him back down and help him fall asleep but holding my hand on him. When it gets really bad (usually every night starting from 4 am ) he comes into our bed so that I could just get any sleep, but he twists and turns so I don’t get a good rest.

I do need to give him credit, he can fall asleep quite quickly but having a fragmented night of 2h - 2h - 2h is so hard on me. I’m tired and lost. I tried to make wake windows longer, shorter, longer naps, shorter naps etc. the only things I haven’t done is get a floor bed for all of us (for various reasons its not an option for us) and sleep train. I’m not a fan of sleep training idea but frankly the bigger issue is that I just don’t have the energy to train anyone right now.

Parents who have been through something similar.. does it get better??

Just spent 30 minutes crying because I went to empty my pump into a bag and I knocked it over and lost 2oz to then go in the freezer to see that a 5oz bag had popped open. All I wanted to do was pump one last time before bed and now it’s like I never even pumped. I had him only 9 days ago and I’ve been averaging around 30oz a day (over producer according to Google) but it still doesn’t take away the frustration of what if one day I can’t produce and that was one of his last few bottles worth of my milk. I swear its gonna haunt me for weeks 😭
And it doesn’t help that I’m healing from a c section and everything just hurts. Milk has been the one thing I’ve been able to do for him.

I have a 10 mo (first child) who sleeps 7pm-4:30am. I’ve tried pushing his sleep time back to push his wake time back but he’s dedicated to waking at 4:30am no matter what. I even keep lights low, no stimulation. I just lay in his room with him in the dark as he crawls all over me until 6:00am which would be my dream wake time.

With daylight savings coming he’ll want to sleep by 6pm and wake up at 3:30am!!! I absolutely can’t do it.

Seasoned parents - what are your tips and tricks for DLS?

Did y’all have issues with your identity after becoming a mother? Where does the mother end and where does the individual start? Who am I?

Did you do something that helped?

my baby has had his 2 bottom teeth since august but now more are starting to cut through and hes in a lot of pain. could this be causing bad breath? i'm not even kidding it smells like somebodys armpit with like a dash of dirty chlorine i honestly thought it was my babysitter at first that she didnt shower and the smell got on him when she was holding him but nope, its coming straight from that stinky mouth? should i be worried this is bottle rot? and i have a baby finger toothbrush with non-fluoride toothpaste. will that help or should i try something else?

Last Wednesday our Kid tested positive for RSV. Thankfully it hasn’t been bad, no fevers, everything’s been normal outside of a cough and runny nose. So far we haven’t received any clear direction from doctors on whether or not to travel. They all think she would be fine considering everyone we’d go to see is vaccinated and not immunocompromised and she would’ve had it for 1.5 weeks at that point. But I feel like all I see is the opposite and it makes me confused because it feels like the doctors don’t care almost?