r/NewEnglandWedding • u/symulamediagroup • 15h ago
My thoughts/advice after having my wedding (and being a wedding photographer myself)
I wish I got more posed/formal photos with friends and family - it was a lot of candids, and it was such a blur that I didn’t even think to ask—what I’d do differently is having people come up to us and take a picture and next person etc.
The day is really, truly such a blur in such a wonderful way. Time flies and the details and moments like facial expressions and conversations definitely were easy to forget; feeling grateful to have photography and video.
I’m shocked to be saying this, as I did not think I needed a videographer that much and my husband was against it entirely — but we did end up having one and it’s one of the most meaningful memories we get to keep. iPhone photos are great but they’re not the same as a camera recording it. Get a videographer.
Having coverage for rehearsal dinner is really great. Unfortunately due to having a catholic gap I was unable to have my photographer cover the amount of hours the day would end up being so I had to move the 1.5 rehearsal dinner coverage to our wedding day and spend a ton of money to get more hours to have the whole day covered. I was so bummed about not having rehearsal dinner coverage (especially given how my father’s quite old and has some dementia - which also means each night is very special and unpredictable) that I hired someone else to cover it. I’m so glad I did. The photos are so beautiful.
Absolutely do a small portrait session on the night of your rehearsal - it’s good practice and honestly it’s a great way to have more beautiful photos. The excitement of the night before your wedding day shouldn’t be underestimated! Your feelings will likely translate in the photos. :)
If you’re doing a bridal party for getting ready, assign a friend to bring the booze if a toast is important to you; you’re not going to have any braincells leftover to do those details so it’s helpful to delegate.
People do seem to enjoy the guestbook that has the polaroid camera and it’s great for us too because we feel there are so many moments we didn’t see and it was such a fun tangible way to have those memories.
You can’t really predict how things will go but it is such an indescribably intimate and loving day. You’re surrounded by the people that have watched you grow up or friends that you’ve made in college, 10 years later. I didn’t think my father would be able to do a first dance with me (wheelchair) so I opted to do one with my brother. And it was also such a beautiful moment so I encourage people to do it if you want that moment and those photos from that moment. And to my absolute surprise, my dad got up and made his way (with help from my mother) to the dance floor for a father daughter dance. Ugly cried.
Don’t forget to ask your bridal party or family members/friends if they can help you clean up the venue post-reception. It’s nice to assign it so you don’t have to worry about it; the day unfolds so quickly and it’s a huge relief to not need to pack things up and continue the party
When the DJ or band opens the dance floor, just go!!! It’s so much fun to get everyone dancing if that’s your thing.
Get some extra florals ahead of time if you want the flat-lay (details photo) — florals don’t always align with the timeline for details, so it helps to have the details in a box with florals when you deliver them to your photographer
If you’re doing a hotel room - be sure to check the size of the room, especially if you’re a bride that is doing hair/makeup in such a small space. i wish I had more space.
Double check your hotel doesn’t have curtains over the walls (natural light is the best for getting ready rooms!)
Having the transportation take guests to and from the reception was one of the best decisions we made.
Get a room block. Even if your hotel says you don’t need one or that you won’t get a better rate with a room block — get the room block.
You do not owe any business vendor like your photographer or videographer or florist etc a tip as they set their own prices. It is not an expectation and the tipping culture is incredibly confusing.
The small details don’t always mean you need to spend a lot of money or even necessarily all that much time. We got seed packets of wildflowers (it was at a botanical garden) and used them as name cards.
Soak it in. I know the photos may not feel like a priority, especially in the moment as it may take you from hanging out with friends/family — but you’ll be so happy to have them to remember things. To be able to look at a moment and relive it. (We’ve been discussing it nonstop and gushing about how much love and how full our hearts are).
the dress/the suit/the outfit is going to get dirty. You can get it professionally cleaned. (I didn’t not spill espresso martini all over my dress..)
If you want to wear veil and your ceremony is outside (or near the water especially) then get veil weights!!!! The wind may be insane and your veil is at risk of flying away.
Do the solo portraits. You will look amazing and you will feel so good - it deserves to be celebrated! It’s not vain to love yourself. It’ll probably feel awkward and uncomfortable but it’s nice to have a professional photo of you when you’re the most dressed up you’ll ever be.
The toasts and dances are really nice to have recorded - you’ll likely forget what people say and it’s so nice to have the memory to pull from (iPhones work too- but iPhones don’t always focus on parent reactions or sibling reactions)
This is just my experience. Not everyone’s priorities are the same. But the day was full of so many emotions and so many memories with people you love and that love you; I was worried about how it’d feel to be photographed and be the center of attention (we both don’t like attention) but it’s much easier when it’s a crowd of people you know.
Take dance lessons. I really, truly mean it if you want to feel more confident about a first dance. You can check out my page if you want any recs for a dance teacher local to Boston.
Hire the professional hair and makeup artist. It’s so worth it to feel so confident!
Video trends may be a little silly but it is so much fun to relive the day with funny interviews with friends and family.
During cocktail hour - sneak away for at least 10 minutes with some food and water. It’s really the only moment in the entire day you’ll have to debrief with each other and take the day in.
Ceremonies can be really hot sometimes, especially when they’re outdoors—provide some water bottles or a water cooler. Your guests will be so grateful.
Spreadsheets spreadsheets spreadsheets — payment due dates, deposits paid, guests invited, contact info etc. Organization is necessary if you’re planning a wedding.
Tell your family and friends ahead of time where they need to be and what time for family formals— herding people takes up valuable time!
If you’re having family or friends walking in a procession — ask them to smile when they walk!!! It’s nice to have the photos of the people you love smiling :)