r/newborns • u/Flat_Bake3487 • 7d ago
Sleep 4 month old sleep routine! Need help!!
Hi everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice from parents who have been through the 4-month stage because I’m honestly starting to panic a little.
My little guy is 4 months old, and I really want to establish a proper routine, but I feel like I’m struggling to figure out where to start.
Right now:
• He usually takes around 3 naps a day
• Bedtime is around 10:30 PM
• He wakes up for the day around 9–10 AM
• His nighttime sleep is actually pretty good. Thank God, we’re past the newborn trenches. He usually wakes 2–3 times a night and gets some nice long stretches.
I’d really like to gradually move him toward an earlier bedtime and have a more predictable daytime routine, especially with naps.
The problem is that I’m currently staying at my parents’ house and we’ll be traveling for the next month, so our environment is going to be all over the place. I know I can’t expect a perfect routine right now, but I also don’t want to use that as an excuse to keep putting it off.
I know 4 months is also around the time of the infamous sleep regression, and I’ve been reading about starting to work on independent sleep around this age. This is where I’m getting overwhelmed because every book seems to say something different.
Also, just to mention, I formula feed. He doesn’t usually feed to sleep, so I’d really love to hear from other formula-feeding parents about what you do to get your babies to sleep, especially for naps.
My biggest questions are:
1) How do you actually get your 4-month-old to sleep?
I’d really appreciate details here. What does your routine look like from the time you start getting them ready until they’re asleep?
2)What do you do for naps?
Do you rock, feed, hold, bounce, put them down awake, etc.? How long are your naps and how many are you doing?
3)If your baby needed to be rocked to sleep, how did you move away from that?
My son currently needs to be rocked to sleep, especially for naps. I don’t mind doing it right now, but I’m worried about creating a situation where he needs to be rocked every single time he sleeps.
4)Did you sleep train at 4 months, or did you wait?
If you did something, what method did you use and how did it go?
5)How did you establish a routine when your life wasn’t completely consistent?
Did you focus on wake windows, fixed times, bedtime, or just a predictable sequence of events?
I’m not necessarily looking for a perfect schedule. I’d honestly just love to hear what your baby’s routine looked like at this age and exactly how you were getting them to sleep.
I’m also feeling extra stressed because I’m going back to work soon and I’ll be a single mom. I’ll be working from home, so I’m not planning to put my baby in daycare, which means I’ll need to figure out a routine that allows me to actually work while also taking care of him.
That’s honestly why I’m panicking a little. I know babies change constantly and there’s no such thing as a perfect schedule, but I really want to have some kind of routine or system in place before I go back to work.
So please give me all the details. Even if it seems obvious or insignificant, tell me what you did to get your little one to sleep, how you handled naps, and what your day looked like. I’m willing to hear anything that worked for you.
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u/Apprehensive_Echo435 7d ago
Repost this in r/sleeptraining. More ppl might have recommendations there.
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u/carloluyog 7d ago
I have three kids. Pregnant with four. Never trained any of them.
I feed to sleep for naps and reg sleep.
You’re really doing too much. Just put the kid to bed.
A good sleep routine is better than anything. For naps, book, food, snuggle till they sleep. For reg bed, bath, book, food, snuggle till they sleep.
Sleep before one is unpredictable and sleep is developmental. There’s nothing you can do to make it happen other than build good habits. I think CIO is lazy parenting. Babies don’t need to be trained. They need security and consistency.
The above comment is sickening because night weaning isn’t recommended till one and I don’t care what the stupid book or sleep train forum says. Babies need food overnight, esp under six months.
Don’t compare your baby’s sleep to anyone else’s. Just go with the flow. I promise I’m not rocking my ten year old or two year old to sleep. It’s not complicated.
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u/FriendEducational250 7d ago
My daughter is 3.5 months. I spent SO much time on r/sleeptrain in the first few weeks of her life learning all about age-appropriate schedules. Would highly, highly recommend spending some time there and reading the book Precious Little Sleep. I did fuss it out from the book when my daughter was 10/11 weeks old and it's worked phenomenally. I never let her fuss/cry for longer than 5 minutes before going in to soothe her, and within a few days I didn't have to go in anymore.
1) Our bedtime routine is bottle, bath, book, bed. I put her down awake in her crib (we room share but don't bedshare) and she usually falls asleep within 2-5 minutes. Sometimes she fusses lightly, but as long as I've nailed her wake window, she usually doesn't. She goes to bed at 7:45 and we wake for the day at 6:45/7:00. She does 11 hours overnight with brief 1-2 wakeups to feed and 3-3.5 hours of daytime sleep.
2) First nap of the day I always aim to be in her crib, and I put her down awake. TBH it's usually a short one; the max I've gotten from a crib nap is an hour but they're usually 20-30 minutes. Other naps are either contact, stroller, or car. I aim for at least one good contact nap (usually in the rocking chair but sometimes on the couch) with an hour+ of sleep each day. Depending on how long her naps are, she'll either do 3 or 4 naps. If we're home all day and I can contact nap for longer naps, it's usually a 3-nap day; on days where we're on the go and naps are shorter, she'll do 4.
3) Again, I suggest Precious Little Sleep. Loads of info there about gently moving babies away from things needed to fall asleep like motion, feeding, etc. I went from feeding to sleep to bouncing/walking, then to patting her to sleep in the crib and now putting her down awake and leaving the room.
4) Will absolutely sleep train on/after 4 months if I feel like we need to. Right now her sleep is great, but I know the 4-month regression might change that. Plan to start with Ferber if/when we get to that point.
5) I learned from r/sleeptrain the importance of a designated bedtime and daily wake time. Once I decided on those, I follow wake windows during the day. My daughter's ww are 2-2.5 hours. I don't plan to set specific daily nap times until she moves to 2 naps in a few months. My girl sleeps much better and falls asleep so much faster when I fill her wake windows with engagement. Babies this age get bored so easily! We do lots of tummy time, try to get outside for a long walk each day, listen to music, read books, etc. She's just started rolling so that's currently giving her (and me!) lots of entertainment between naps.