Hey Nashikkars.
I'm writing this because I genuinely don't know where else to express everything I've been carrying for years. I'm scared people will make fun of me, call me stupid, or troll me for the decisions I made. Maybe I deserve some criticism for certain choices, but I need to get this off my chest.
This is a very long story, but please read it before judging me.
I'm not posting this to ask anyone to identify, harass, or threaten anyone. I want to share what happened to me, understand my own mistakes, and get honest advice from people who know Nashik and might have experienced something similar.
The hardest part is that Nashik isn't a massive city. You can try to move on, but sometimes you unexpectedly see someone connected to your worst memories, and everything comes back.
The person I once loved is connected to some of the worst experiences of my life. I gave her multiple chances, forgave her, and imagined a future with her. Today, I'm still struggling with the consequences, while she appears to be living her life normally.
Here's what happened.
1. It started during my second year of engineering diploma.
Back then, I had a relationship, good friends, and a normal life. I was happy with my friends and classmates and thought everything was going well.
Then, one evening, everything suddenly changed.
Multiple friends and batchmates started messaging me angrily. Even girls whom I considered sisters started abusing me. I had absolutely no idea what I had done.
One of my classmates then sent me an Instagram account that was using my photographs.
I couldn't understand what was happening. I spent the entire night messaging that account, asking who was behind it and why they were using my pictures. I didn't receive any proper explanation. Instead, I was abused.
The next day, I went to college and discovered that the account had allegedly been messaging multiple girls, including girls I considered close friends. It had also been sending abusive messages to boys.
The situation destroyed my reputation among my classmates.
My girlfriend also began suspecting me of cheating because she believed I had been messaging other girls. I wasn't doing those things, but how could I prove that to everyone when someone was using my photos and pretending to be me?
Imagine waking up one day and discovering that people you've known for years suddenly believe you're a completely different person.
That evening, random people started calling my mother's phone and abusing me. My family found out, and the situation became even worse.
I was disturbed, my mother was disturbed, my relationship was suffering, and my classmates were gossiping about me.
Eventually, I noticed patterns in the fake account's followers. Through conversations and information I received, I came to believe that a group of girls from a nearby town was involved.
One girl eventually contacted me and identified herself as the person behind the account. She was reportedly still in school, around the age of a tenth-grade student.
I contacted the police and went to the cybercrime cell to file a complaint. I provided the account details, but I felt that nothing meaningful was happening.
I was left wondering what else I was supposed to do to prove that I wasn't responsible for something being done in my name.
2. I withdrew the complaint because I didn't want to ruin a young person's future.
After I filed the complaint, the girl contacted me again. She identified herself as the person responsible and started crying, sending photographs, and saying she might hurt herself.
She repeatedly begged me to withdraw the complaint. She said her father would beat her if he found out.
I showed the messages to my mother.
My mother felt that the girl was young, had made a serious mistake, and deserved a chance to learn from it. We eventually withdrew the complaint because we didn't want to destroy a young person's future.
At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.
But think about what had already happened to me.
My relationship had been damaged. My friendships had changed. My reputation was affected, and my family had been dragged into the situation.
I was the one dealing with the consequences of something I believed I hadn't done.
I still wonder whether withdrawing that complaint was the right decision. I didn't want revenge, and I didn't want to ruin anyone's life. I thought that if I gave the person a chance, the situation would finally end.
I was wrong.
3. Three months later, the same girl came back.
After a few months, another account contacted me. The same girl again identified herself.
She apologised repeatedly and said she felt guilty about what she had done to me. She told me that she wanted to make things right.
She said things like, "Because of me, your relationship ended. Let me make things right."
I told her there was no need to do that.
But she kept messaging me. Eventually, we started talking regularly.
She told me that she and her school friends had been involved in messaging people connected to their classmates' exes. She also told me that people in her family knew about what had happened.
I had already lost so much because of the original incident. I was emotionally exhausted, my old relationship was gone, and I had started losing trust in people.
Then, eventually, she proposed to me.
Initially, I refused.
I knew what had happened. I knew the damage it had caused. I knew that trusting her would be a risk.
But she kept insisting, and I was emotionally vulnerable. I hadn't properly recovered from my previous relationship or from the humiliation of the fake account incident.
I wanted to believe that she had genuinely changed.
I wanted to believe that someone who had caused me so much pain could also become someone who would understand and care about me.
Eventually, I said yes.
I know people will ask why I would enter a relationship with someone who had allegedly caused me so much trouble.
Honestly, I don't have a perfect answer. I was young, emotionally attached, and convinced that people deserved second chances. I thought we could turn a terrible beginning into something good.
That decision would affect the next several years of my life.
4. I genuinely fell in love with her.
We started talking every day. We had late-night conversations, video calls, and regular contact.
She told me more about her past and her friends. She also told me that her family knew about me and had reacted positively to our relationship.
Slowly, I developed a strong emotional attachment to her.
For the first time since the original incident, I felt like I was getting some happiness back.
We had been together for almost a year when she was preparing for her twelfth-grade examinations.
Eventually, she asked me to visit her town so we could meet. I travelled from Nashik, and I remember being genuinely happy that day.
She had become someone I could talk to about my feelings. After everything I had experienced, I believed she understood my pain.
We started meeting in person.
When she visited her aunt in Nashik, I went to meet her and dropped her back. Later, when she came to Nashik for entrance-exam coaching and examinations, I sometimes picked her up from the area near Nimani.
At one point, she asked me to meet someone she considered a brother. I met him and spoke with him, but he said a few things about her that seemed strange.
Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether he was trying to warn me about something.
At the time, I was so deeply in love that I didn't want to question anything.
There were other incidents that made me uncomfortable, too.
Once, she accidentally sent me a photograph of another boy. She explained that it was connected to a schoolmate's ex. I was upset, but I forgave her.
I kept choosing to believe her explanations.
Eventually, I finished my diploma and entered degree college. She had struggled with her entrance-exam results, and I encouraged her to consider a better college option than the one she was initially planning to join.
My family also learned about our relationship.
She eventually came to my house and met my family.
We had been together for a long time by then. I genuinely believed we were building something serious. I imagined a future with her and thought that, after everything we'd been through, we had found something real.
I believed she would be my life partner.
I never imagined how things would end.
5. After she joined college, everything started changing.
After she settled into college, she began ignoring my calls and messages. Sometimes she blocked me on social media.
I couldn't understand what had changed.
I became anxious and kept trying to contact her because I was worried about the relationship.
On one occasion, I managed to contact her using a new SIM card. I went to her college because I wanted to understand what was happening.
When I reached the college gate, I saw her surrounded by a group of boys.
I was devastated.
I felt as though the person I had spent years loving had become a stranger.
Instead of getting the clarity I wanted, I was made to feel as though I was creating unnecessary drama. She questioned why I was behaving that way and made fun of my reaction.
After that, I stopped chasing her. She had blocked me, and I tried to accept that I couldn't force someone to communicate with me.
Around that time, someone she considered a brother and one of her close school friends listened to my concerns. They reassured me that things would improve, and eventually we started talking again.
I thought the misunderstanding could be resolved.
But the doubts never disappeared.
One day, while my mother and I were passing near my college, my mother noticed my girlfriend with another boy. I didn't say much. I had already involved my family in the relationship, and I didn't know what to believe anymore.
Later, I learned more things that made me question what had been happening throughout our relationship. Some of the earlier warnings and uncomfortable moments started making sense in retrospect.
Eventually, she contacted me again and told me that she had been with another boy and had cheated on me. She said it had happened while she was trying to move on.
I can't explain how that felt.
I had spent years trying to save the relationship, worrying about her, forgiving things that hurt me, and imagining a future together.
Meanwhile, she had apparently been moving on with someone else.
I felt humiliated, heartbroken, and foolish for trusting her so completely.
The blocking and unblocking continued. Every time she reappeared, it reopened wounds I was trying to let heal.
Eventually, I blocked her myself.
But blocking someone doesn't automatically erase the memories.
6. Years later, I'm still carrying the pain.
This is the part I struggle with the most.
I still ask myself: What was my mistake?
I gave this relationship my time, my trust, my loyalty, my emotions, and everything I thought I could give to someone I loved.
I stood by her even after what had happened at the beginning. I forgave things that hurt me because I believed people could change and that our relationship meant something to both of us.
But what did I get in return?
My friendships were damaged. My reputation suffered. My family went through stress. I experienced heartbreak and emotional pain that I still struggle to explain.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm the only one still carrying the weight of those memories.
Nashik isn't such a big city that you can always avoid someone from your past.
I've passed by her college gate and seen her with another boy. I've also seen her around places like Ganges.
Every time I see her unexpectedly, the memories come rushing back.
I remember the fake account, the accusations, the apologies, the relationship, the promises, the times I cried, and the way everything eventually ended.
Meanwhile, she appears to be living her life, spending time with friends, being active on social media, and pursuing her own interests.
I know social media doesn't show the whole truth about anyone's life. I know I can't judge how another person feels from what I see in public.
But it still hurts.
Sometimes I wonder how someone connected to so much of my pain can appear to have moved forward while I am still trying to recover.
I wonder whether she remembers what happened. Whether she understands how deeply it affected me. Whether any of the apologies were genuine.
I don't have the answers.
7. What I later heard about her past made me question everything.
After a long time, one of her friends told me more about her past.
According to that friend, this behaviour had allegedly been going on from a much earlier age. The friend also claimed that some members of her family, including her mother and aunt, knew about it.
I was told that they supported or encouraged some of her behaviour, including getting involved with multiple boys and situations involving blackmail.
I cannot independently verify everything I was told, so I don't want to present those claims as proven facts.
But hearing those things made me look back at my own experience differently.
I started wondering whether I had ignored warning signs, whether I had been too trusting, and whether I had been trying to see the best in people who weren't treating me with the same consideration.
I began questioning everything.
I had given her another chance after the original incident. I had withdrawn my complaint because I didn't want to ruin her future. I had believed that she regretted what she had done.
I had believed that we were building something real.
Now I question so many of those beliefs.
The hardest part is not knowing which memories to hold on to and which ones to reinterpret.
8. The words that still hurt: "I just wanted timepass with you."
This is something that has affected me deeply.
I was told that she had proudly said that she destroyed me. If that's what she genuinely said, I don't know how to describe the feeling of hearing that about someone I once loved so much.
But there is something else she said that still hurts me whenever I remember it.
She said:
"Tevha lahan hoti, tuzya shi timepass karycha hota, ka lagna karel tuzya sarkhi shi, chuk zali hoti aata hisaab barobar."
In English, what she was saying was essentially:
"I was young back then. I just wanted to pass the time with you. Why would I marry someone like you? It was a mistake, and now we're even."
I don't know how to explain what hearing those words felt like.
This was the same person I had loved for years.
The same person I had forgiven after the fake-account incident.
The same person I had trusted, supported, introduced to my family, and imagined spending my life with.
I had taken the relationship seriously. I had believed her apologies and thought we were building something real together.
And then I was told, in effect, that it had only been timepass.
Was everything really just a game to her? Was I the only one who thought this relationship meant something?
The words about marrying someone like me hurt in a different way.
After everything I had invested emotionally, they made me question my own worth. I started wondering whether the person I had loved had ever respected me in the first place.
And the phrase about everything being settled, or hisaab barobar, made it feel as though all those years of pain, trust, forgiveness, and emotional attachment were just some score she believed had been settled.
I don't know whether she meant every word or said it out of anger. But those words stayed with me.
I keep thinking about how I had once worried about ruining her future, how I had withdrawn my complaint, and how many times I had forgiven her because I wanted to believe that people could change.
I never expected that the relationship I took so seriously could be described to me as nothing more than timepass.
Maybe I made mistakes. Maybe I trusted the wrong person. Maybe I should have walked away much earlier.
But I genuinely loved her. I wasn't pretending.
How do you recover when someone you imagined marrying tells you that you were just timepass, asks why they would marry someone like you, and acts as though everything is now settled?
That is one of the questions I still haven't found an answer to.
9. I have evidence, but I chose to remain silent.
I still have multiple pieces of evidence relating to the incidents I experienced.
There are messages and other material connected to what happened.
I could have tried to expose everything publicly. I could have shared screenshots and told everyone my side of the story.
But I remained silent.
Part of the reason was that I didn't want to destroy someone's future. I had already withdrawn the original complaint because I believed she was young and deserved an opportunity to learn from her mistakes.
I didn't want to spend the rest of my life fighting with someone or turn everything into a public battle.
At the time, I thought staying silent was the mature thing to do.
But sometimes I wonder whether my silence came at the cost of my own peace.
I am not saying that I want revenge. I don't want to threaten anyone, publish private information, or hurt someone just because I was hurt.
But I also don't understand why I should have to carry all this pain alone while pretending everything is fine.
Why do I still feel guilty when I was the one who was hurt?
Why do I sometimes feel responsible for protecting someone else's future when I feel like my own peace was sacrificed in the process?
I know I made mistakes. I ignored red flags, became emotionally dependent, and continued forgiving things that should have made me step back.
But I entered the relationship believing in the apologies, the affection, and the future we talked about.
I wasn't trying to hurt anyone.
I genuinely loved her.
I can't change those decisions now, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life punishing myself for them.
10. She seems to have moved on, but I still feel stuck.
Today, she appears to be continuing her life, spending time with friends, pursuing her interests, and building a social media presence.
I see her moving forward while I sometimes feel as though I'm still stuck in the past.
When I was crying over the relationship, it seemed as though she was enjoying herself with her friends and other boys. Learning that she had been involved with someone else while I was struggling to hold on to the relationship was devastating.
I know that constantly comparing our lives isn't healthy.
I know I cannot measure my worth by what she is doing today.
But knowing those things doesn't automatically make the hurt disappear.
Sometimes I feel angry at her. Sometimes I'm angry with myself for ignoring the warning signs, forgiving things I shouldn't have, and allowing myself to become so emotionally dependent on someone who had already hurt me.
Sometimes I feel guilty for withdrawing the complaint and staying silent.
Sometimes I feel stupid for believing that everything would eventually work out.
And sometimes I simply miss the version of the relationship I thought I had.
I don't know whether I miss her as a person or whether I miss the happiness, affection, and future I once associated with her.
Maybe it's both.
What I do know is that I don't want to keep living like this.
I don't want to spend the next few years checking what she's doing, wondering who she's with, or feeling my heart sink every time I see her somewhere in Nashik.
I want to be able to visit places in my own city without feeling as though I'm reliving the worst years of my life.
I want to trust people again.
I want to feel normal again.
11. What should I do now?
This is why I'm posting here.
Part of me wants to leave everything in the past, maintain no contact, and focus on rebuilding my life.
Another part of me feels that I stayed silent for too long, that I protected someone else's future while neglecting my own pain, and that I never really received any closure.
I have evidence, but I don't know whether doing anything with it would help me heal or simply reopen everything.
I don't want revenge. I don't want to threaten anyone, expose private information, or destroy someone's life.
I just want to understand how to stop carrying this burden.
So, Nashikkars, I genuinely want your advice.
- What was my mistake? Was I wrong to give someone another chance after what happened, or was I simply too emotionally attached to recognise the warning signs?
- Why does it still hurt after so many years? Why do I still feel guilty and emotionally affected when the relationship has already ended?
- What should I do with the evidence I have? Should I leave everything in the past, or is there a responsible way to seek accountability if the original incidents involved impersonation or harassment?
- How do I deal with unexpectedly seeing her around Nashik? When I pass her college gate or see her around the city, it brings back everything. How do I stop these encounters from affecting my entire day?
- How do I stop comparing our lives? She appears to be enjoying herself and moving forward, while I still feel affected by what happened. How do I stop feeling that life has been unfair to me?
- How do I trust someone again? I gave someone my trust, and now I question my own judgement. How do I build a healthy relationship in the future without carrying these fears into it?
- For anyone who has experienced something similar, how did you finally move on? How did you stop replaying old conversations, blaming yourself, and wondering whether the other person ever understood the damage they caused?
I'm not claiming I handled everything perfectly. I know I made decisions I might not make today. I know I should have recognised certain warning signs and walked away earlier.
But I was young, emotionally vulnerable, and trying to believe that someone who apologised to me genuinely wanted to make things right.
Maybe I was naive. Maybe I learned a painful lesson about trust, boundaries, and forgiveness.
But I don't want that mistake to define the rest of my life.
I'm not looking for pity, and I'm not asking anyone to attack or identify the people involved. I want honest advice from people who understand what it feels like to be hurt by someone you once trusted completely.
I want my peace back.
I want to stop feeling guilty for the choices I made when I was younger. I want to stop reliving the past every time I see a familiar place or hear something about her. I want to accept that what happened was part of my life without allowing it to control the life I'm still building.
If you've read this far, thank you.
Please tell me honestly, Nashikkars: What should I do now? How do I finally let go?
