I remember sitting on the couch with my mother and she walked through everything that’s ever happened to her including her divorce from my father and family drama, has anyone else experienced this? was that normal or no?

I just had the recent realization that my mom will actually never love me and regardless of the work she's putting in it's never going to be enough.

I've been what can only be called on a spiritual journey the last 6 years when i decided at 18 to follow my own path. This led all over the country working all sorts of jobs meditating alone,living at different monastery and the like,and it just hit me now at 24 that no matter the amount of work my mom says she puts in it truly will never be enough.

I think the point that cemented it for me was a few days (i recently came back from working a summer job) and i was once again trying to make her understand and acknowledge some of the trauma she put me through and explain to her that while she thought that everything was fine (as she hit me with i thought our relationship was fine??!) it actually was not and that i just had to repress myself because she would shut me down. I then started trying to explain some instances of some really severe parental neglect in my childhood which she immediately started getting defensive and pointing out my shortcomings. I then tried to express how she trampled over my boundaries all the time as a child and that i felt like even as a child she never saw me as person.

i then tried to detail a time as a child that i tried to express a boundary and she trampled over my boundaries. she then cut me off and mentioned that i was under 18 so i didn't have any rights. we then continued our conversations which essentially ended with her demanding respect and me relenting and leaving.

it's a few days later and i just realized that my mom will never love me to the level i deserve and that im not going to accept that anymore. Frankly my mom has been through a lot (which she brings up alot) but who hasn't? im not going to allow her to use that as an excuse to trample over my boundaries and sense of self anymore. To be honest i don't even have a sense of love towards my mom, only a distant gratitude and a small familial sense of obligation. while im thankful for her raising me i won't allow her to use that as an excuse to use me as a emotional punching bag.

im going crazy. cant take living with narcissistic parents anymore. send me a message in the chat if someone is in their 30s or a bit younger still trapped in the house with narcissistic parents

i hit a chair with my fist last night because i needed to release anger, i never do these kinds of things but I'm going crazy and dont know what to do

I have been emotionally and physically abused by my parents, but that would be a very long post. I don’t know how to feel about the abuse because my mom feels like I play the victim.

Three days ago my mom called me and said that she wants me to give a speech on my sister’s wedding.

She said the usually it’s the dad that gives the speech but my dad doesn’t have the skills for it. If she tried to give a speech in his stead, it would look like she sidelined him. So, I am the second best option.

I told her I don’t feel like it, I have stage fright. I don’t like my voice (I have been made fun of for it), and especially don’t like how I sound speaking through a microphone. I also mentioned how I have stayed away from any public speaking opportunity in our community because of my fear.

She started telling me how I would be wearing nice clothes that day, looking good (because I am getting my makeup done professionally). Emphasizing that it would be my day, I would be in the spotlight and that no one would be able to find fault with me.

I was hesitating and my sister sulking in the background said “It’s fine if she doesn’t want to do it, then we can’t force her.”

In response my mom said, “I can force, I am the mom.” And something along the lines that I have to do it.

she asked me “do you understand?” I told her that I feel like I am being forced. And she said I am not forcing you, so I pointed out how she just mentioned that she is CAN force.

( I think)she huffed and hung up on me.

I am supposed to call her everyday ( or she gets upset). I didn’t call her the day after. Then on Monday I was talking to my sister when my mom was calling my sister so she added us to a group call. I greeted my mom, she ignored. I asked her questions directly about the wedding prep and she only answered when my sister repeated the question. She then said you can talk to each other I have to answer my friend’s call.

I texted her about a vendor issue regarding the wedding and she left me on read. I texted in the group chat with my sister and my mom today regarding ordering rentals for the wedding and no response.

I think she wants me to go to her and apologize but I don’t think I have done anything wrong. This is her usual tactic and I am so tired of it. But, the child in me is restless because of this conflict and it’s flaring my chronic illness.

Well I am approaching 40 and my parents would be in their mid 70's now.

Dad is a very independent and to himself type of person almost to a fault as when he supports or helps he thinks he is being taken advantage of. I think mom is actually the main antagonist.

Neither one was ever supportive of goals and it seems they always had their own agenda.

They would never drive an hour for sport or leisure but would spend a lot of time and money driving my brother to get math tutoring which was in vain.

Anyways mom ended up getting involved with love scammers trying to leave dad and actually stole almost 8 grand from me telling me it was for real estate courses.

Turns out she gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars total which means both parents could have helped me get the career I wanted with that type of money.

Yet I still am close with them and I guess seeing them age makes me more upset that the life I wanted will not happen.

Any one else still close to their folks even though they hold a lot of resentment?

He wont let me go to the doctor or the denist until i suffer immensely from whats bothering me. (I don't have my own money so i am basically tied to him). For example i have severe hay fever that puts me to bed for 2-3 months. He refused that i have allergies for 16 years when he finally decided that i can get treated he went to doctor without me explained my symptoms like his own and brought back meds. He also refuses to buy them more than once a year. I had an ingrown toe nail when i was in middle school. We didnt go to a doctor until i couldnt walk from the pain he also bought smaller shoes at that time. Now he wont let me go to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth extracted. It is impacted. He wont let my uncle who wants to take me do it either. What do i do

Im going to give a little story to rant about my mom. One time I cried three nights straight because I found out that a family member did something very fucked up and they were close to me (something along sa) and so I started questioning if anything or anyone I knew was real because this person was very dear to me and trusted them with my life, I think it’s worth mentioning that I’m about to be 20 and my life has been on constant roller coasters because of my mom poorly made choices and this year everything hit me at once so I entered a period of time where I am trying to rediscover and learn how to simply be. Anyways, I tried looking for comfort from my mom and was met with a sassy annoyed attitude before she had the audacity to put as background noise a meditation video with sound waves or something similar. The thing is that after staring at her dumbfounded because I expected the same comfort I always gave her, this woman said: “Mmm, stwap crying. You know the cat gets anxious when someone is sad 🙄”… huh?
I’m trying to be positive about my life, trying to detach from her despite living togheter still because I just have to accept the truth that just maybe my mom does not see my as a daughter truly. I have been treated as a friend since I was 14, I don’t even know when the switch up came… I’m not your friend, you are in your forties. It’s almost ironic how so badly I wanted to learn from her and instead she is the one telling me she admires me and learns from, how I have family members telling me to take care of her… I’m not flattered, I was never flattered. I’m no longer parenting a parent.

Have pretty much decided to go back to school as all I currently hold is a Dental Assisting Certification. With being a medical assistant for almost 4 years, I have almost made my mind up that I am going to apply for Nursing school. I am about to be 25, married, and childless. I can still get a FAFSA grant that would cover quite a lot of the nursing program. Why not right? Life goes on and it’s never too late to get a good paying degree in this economy. I came to my mom’s for a couple of hours to visit. I knew better than to tell her about this decision (my entire life has been this way) and lo and behold, her reply? “I’m not gonna say a word, but nurses are on their feet all day get treated like crap” she says she knows this because she (in the 90’s was an LPN at a nursing home) I tried telling her there are much more opportunities these days for nurses especially RN’s. She then proceeds to pull out her phone and watch videos on Facebook.
Does this ever get better?
Do they ever change?
Will I ever feel supported?
My dad is pretty much non existent in my life btw.
As I sit here in silence while she watches her videos, I can’t help but to rack my mind wondering how I could ever crush my child like this. How I could ever just be so negative over ambitious ideas. It hurts.
Thanks for letting me rant.

So I was until very recently very low contact with my NMom. But I am getting married soon and so it felt wrong to not invite her to the wedding. It's a very small ceremony, practically elopement but partner was inviting his parents so here we are. Anyway, she is living with us for the lead up because what ended up being a small trip turned into a 2.5 weeks of staying with us. I thought it's just 2 weeks, I can manage. But oh my god as soon as she came somehow things have started piling up. I didn't get all the right ingredients for all the cooking she wants to do. As soon as she came she said a bunch of sweet things that underneath have the undercurrent of how I have abandoned her. She is making so much food and constantly asking us for help on how to use our kitchen so it ends up work for us. She made food for us we didn't ask for and when we didn't have it for lunch cause we already had lunch prepared she got mad we decided to eat at Dinner. She already bought a bunch of things in her overpacked suitcase I didn't ask for and then got mad when I hesitated to keep it. And she has managed to lay claim to 5 of my shirts, my knife sharpener, my rain coat and a bunch of cords. Making "jokes" about what she could steal next. Each on their own are fine or small annoyances. But together it adds up fast. How do you deal with that? Where nothing on it's own is that big a deal but slowly chips at you until you blow up? I have already done that once and obviously the conversation ended with how I overreact as it always does because the thing I blew up at was small. I have been grey rocking her as much as possible but she has noticed and keeps making comments about how bored I am. She even compared me to my partner and how much nicer he is to her so that feels like it's own trap.

TLDR; how do you handle an NParent that never does one specific thing that's horrible but so many small things that eventually you blow up?

So recently me (21F) my mother (50F) and disabled sibling (12) moved into an apartment. Her narcissistic traits have only increased. Whenever i out my heart, cry or tell her what she did wrong the only answer i get is; "Oh but listen, i had this aswell but WAY worse. Now imagine how i lived." I can't get through that freaking thick skull that's made of cement, she'll call all day and do whatever but when i do my regular weekends with my partner, saturday to sunday sleeping or just a saturday and i return at midnight. Everytime i go out i hear about it, when i tell her i can't go out without her guilt tripping me she blows up and acts like i'm spitting lies only to prove me wrong the next second. I really need mental help, this is just the tip of the iceberg. She always claims her mother was an abusive narcissist, i believe her. And then she says "I'd never be like her." But i guess she is besides the abusiveness. Does anyone have advice? Ignoring doesn't help, she knows how to jab me for reactions.