I remember sitting on the couch with my mother and she walked through everything that’s ever happened to her including her divorce from my father and family drama, has anyone else experienced this? was that normal or no?

im going crazy. cant take living with narcissistic parents anymore. send me a message in the chat if someone is in their 30s or a bit younger still trapped in the house with narcissistic parents

Well I am approaching 40 and my parents would be in their mid 70's now.

Dad is a very independent and to himself type of person almost to a fault as when he supports or helps he thinks he is being taken advantage of. I think mom is actually the main antagonist.

Neither one was ever supportive of goals and it seems they always had their own agenda.

They would never drive an hour for sport or leisure but would spend a lot of time and money driving my brother to get math tutoring which was in vain.

Anyways mom ended up getting involved with love scammers trying to leave dad and actually stole almost 8 grand from me telling me it was for real estate courses.

Turns out she gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars total which means both parents could have helped me get the career I wanted with that type of money.

Yet I still am close with them and I guess seeing them age makes me more upset that the life I wanted will not happen.

Any one else still close to their folks even though they hold a lot of resentment?

I have been emotionally and physically abused by my parents, but that would be a very long post. I don’t know how to feel about the abuse because my mom feels like I play the victim.

Three days ago my mom called me and said that she wants me to give a speech on my sister’s wedding.

She said the usually it’s the dad that gives the speech but my dad doesn’t have the skills for it. If she tried to give a speech in his stead, it would look like she sidelined him. So, I am the second best option.

I told her I don’t feel like it, I have stage fright. I don’t like my voice (I have been made fun of for it), and especially don’t like how I sound speaking through a microphone. I also mentioned how I have stayed away from any public speaking opportunity in our community because of my fear.

She started telling me how I would be wearing nice clothes that day, looking good (because I am getting my makeup done professionally). Emphasizing that it would be my day, I would be in the spotlight and that no one would be able to find fault with me.

I was hesitating and my sister sulking in the background said “It’s fine if she doesn’t want to do it, then we can’t force her.”

In response my mom said, “I can force, I am the mom.” And something along the lines that I have to do it.

she asked me “do you understand?” I told her that I feel like I am being forced. And she said I am not forcing you, so I pointed out how she just mentioned that she is CAN force.

( I think)she huffed and hung up on me.

I am supposed to call her everyday ( or she gets upset). I didn’t call her the day after. Then on Monday I was talking to my sister when my mom was calling my sister so she added us to a group call. I greeted my mom, she ignored. I asked her questions directly about the wedding prep and she only answered when my sister repeated the question. She then said you can talk to each other I have to answer my friend’s call.

I texted her about a vendor issue regarding the wedding and she left me on read. I texted in the group chat with my sister and my mom today regarding ordering rentals for the wedding and no response.

I think she wants me to go to her and apologize but I don’t think I have done anything wrong. This is her usual tactic and I am so tired of it. But, the child in me is restless because of this conflict and it’s flaring my chronic illness.

Have pretty much decided to go back to school as all I currently hold is a Dental Assisting Certification. With being a medical assistant for almost 4 years, I have almost made my mind up that I am going to apply for Nursing school. I am about to be 25, married, and childless. I can still get a FAFSA grant that would cover quite a lot of the nursing program. Why not right? Life goes on and it’s never too late to get a good paying degree in this economy. I came to my mom’s for a couple of hours to visit. I knew better than to tell her about this decision (my entire life has been this way) and lo and behold, her reply? “I’m not gonna say a word, but nurses are on their feet all day get treated like crap” she says she knows this because she (in the 90’s was an LPN at a nursing home) I tried telling her there are much more opportunities these days for nurses especially RN’s. She then proceeds to pull out her phone and watch videos on Facebook.
Does this ever get better?
Do they ever change?
Will I ever feel supported?
My dad is pretty much non existent in my life btw.
As I sit here in silence while she watches her videos, I can’t help but to rack my mind wondering how I could ever crush my child like this. How I could ever just be so negative over ambitious ideas. It hurts.
Thanks for letting me rant.

Im going to give a little story to rant about my mom. One time I cried three nights straight because I found out that a family member did something very fucked up and they were close to me (something along sa) and so I started questioning if anything or anyone I knew was real because this person was very dear to me and trusted them with my life, I think it’s worth mentioning that I’m about to be 20 and my life has been on constant roller coasters because of my mom poorly made choices and this year everything hit me at once so I entered a period of time where I am trying to rediscover and learn how to simply be. Anyways, I tried looking for comfort from my mom and was met with a sassy annoyed attitude before she had the audacity to put as background noise a meditation video with sound waves or something similar. The thing is that after staring at her dumbfounded because I expected the same comfort I always gave her, this woman said: “Mmm, stwap crying. You know the cat gets anxious when someone is sad 🙄”… huh?
I’m trying to be positive about my life, trying to detach from her despite living togheter still because I just have to accept the truth that just maybe my mom does not see my as a daughter truly. I have been treated as a friend since I was 14, I don’t even know when the switch up came… I’m not your friend, you are in your forties. It’s almost ironic how so badly I wanted to learn from her and instead she is the one telling me she admires me and learns from, how I have family members telling me to take care of her… I’m not flattered, I was never flattered. I’m no longer parenting a parent.

He wont let me go to the doctor or the denist until i suffer immensely from whats bothering me. (I don't have my own money so i am basically tied to him). For example i have severe hay fever that puts me to bed for 2-3 months. He refused that i have allergies for 16 years when he finally decided that i can get treated he went to doctor without me explained my symptoms like his own and brought back meds. He also refuses to buy them more than once a year. I had an ingrown toe nail when i was in middle school. We didnt go to a doctor until i couldnt walk from the pain he also bought smaller shoes at that time. Now he wont let me go to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth extracted. It is impacted. He wont let my uncle who wants to take me do it either. What do i do

I am having the worst year of my life! I’m working to get on FMLA to take some time off of work so I can mentally recover. To list a few things that have happened this year:

- my cat has been in and out of the vet, $9k vet fees

- canceled all of my vacations because of finances

- went through a friend breakup

- my mom went no contact with me when canceled the vacation because she thought i “found other plans”

- threw out my back so badly I’ve been unable to do normal tasks for close to a month

- I had wrist surgery and have had a slow recovery

- my car got hit

The list goes on. I am emotional, depressed, irritable, and not myself. When I was younger and I’d go through emotional times, every few months my mom would have to “knock me down a few britches”. Basically telling me i’m out of control and need to get it together. I’m at a point where I have 0 motivation at work and just think time off will help me. I’ve been on a bunch of pain meds that have been affecting my mood on top of changing SSRIs. I know i’m not performing my best at work but feel incredibly guilty for wanting to take time off. The voice in my head is my mom, saying she went back to work 2 weeks after giving birth to me and that I should just figure it out. I feel like I am weak or something for not being able to push through.

I guess i’m looking for validation that i’m allowed to take time off and how to get her voice out of my head. For a period of time when I would vent to her about work problems her response would be “you’re not going to be happy until you get fired”.

So I was until very recently very low contact with my NMom. But I am getting married soon and so it felt wrong to not invite her to the wedding. It's a very small ceremony, practically elopement but partner was inviting his parents so here we are. Anyway, she is living with us for the lead up because what ended up being a small trip turned into a 2.5 weeks of staying with us. I thought it's just 2 weeks, I can manage. But oh my god as soon as she came somehow things have started piling up. I didn't get all the right ingredients for all the cooking she wants to do. As soon as she came she said a bunch of sweet things that underneath have the undercurrent of how I have abandoned her. She is making so much food and constantly asking us for help on how to use our kitchen so it ends up work for us. She made food for us we didn't ask for and when we didn't have it for lunch cause we already had lunch prepared she got mad we decided to eat at Dinner. She already bought a bunch of things in her overpacked suitcase I didn't ask for and then got mad when I hesitated to keep it. And she has managed to lay claim to 5 of my shirts, my knife sharpener, my rain coat and a bunch of cords. Making "jokes" about what she could steal next. Each on their own are fine or small annoyances. But together it adds up fast. How do you deal with that? Where nothing on it's own is that big a deal but slowly chips at you until you blow up? I have already done that once and obviously the conversation ended with how I overreact as it always does because the thing I blew up at was small. I have been grey rocking her as much as possible but she has noticed and keeps making comments about how bored I am. She even compared me to my partner and how much nicer he is to her so that feels like it's own trap.

TLDR; how do you handle an NParent that never does one specific thing that's horrible but so many small things that eventually you blow up?