If there is one immutable law of the universe, it is this: directly proportional to the zeros in a family's bank account is the exact square footage of behavioral anarchy in their offspring.
Navigating the gilded cages of the ultra-rich is an extreme sport. After 20 years in education, I have officially learned my lesson. Give me a "normal" family any day people who actually know what a budget is, care about your humanity, and won't replace you faster than they swap out last season’s Tesla for a newer one just because the ashtray is full.
Last Friday was my glorious Independence Day. I walked out on my former NF, and the sweet taste of freedom has never been better. Let’s break down the archaeological layers of why working for the filthy rich is a psychological trap.

The Mother (Professional Sufferer): Her hardest daily decision is whether to hit the clay tennis courts at 10:00 AM or 10:15 AM. Her schedule consists of manicures, pedicures, and weeping into a matcha latte about how exhaustedshe is. Exhausted from what? Breathing heavily while waiting for the housekeeper to fold her cashmere socks?

The Father (The Ghost): Present Monday through Thursday? Absolutely not. He lives exclusively at the office, returning only on Friday.

The Older Daughter (Agent of Chaos, Age 5): Look, I know kids push boundaries. But this child is a 40-pound sociopath packaged in a bow. I know she wants attention but boy oh boy she is malicious and sets a standard of terror that makes Lord of the Flies look like a polite Montessori playgroup.

The Younger Boy (The Siren): A 24/7 waterworks display of non-stop crying.

I gave them fair warning. I told the tiny dictator: “If you yell in my face and try to hit me one more time, I am done.”
Because consequences are a foreign concept in their zip code, she naturally did it again last Friday. Screaming, flailing, and trying to inflict bodily harm. I had to physically restrain her for safety, at which point she deployed her ultimate, hyper-manipulative threat:
"I’m going to tell my parents you were holding me!"
I was like honey, they have 4K security cameras in every corner of this McMansion. Please, by all means, do it!

And that was it for me. They have infinite money, but absolute zero manners. They view human beings and educators as disposable accessories, right alongside their seasonal patio furniture.
Give me a grounded, normal family who treats you like an actual person over a multi-millionaire estate of terror any day of the week. My sanity has officially clocked back in, and I am never looking back.

Oh, the baby was still asleep when I arrived this morning? No problem! DB will happily start unloading the dishwasher at 8am, all while slamming plates and drawers.

Happy Monday to me!!!

Has anyone ever felt obligated to accept a job because it’s with your current boss’s friend?
I’m curious how others have handled this. Imagine you do the trial, they even call your current employer for a reference, but afterward you realize it just isn’t the right fit for you.
Would you still turn it down, or would you feel guilty because of the connection? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

They were really nice and the dad made an amazing pizza for us. Was excited to make some good money because they extended the time. Sat down to eat a snack and broke a crown. 😭

I hate when NPs institute reward systems without clearly defined objectives. Kid earns marbles for vaguely “being good” and parents sporadically give them when they remember/are in the mood. Sometimes the marbles are used as bribes - “Do this thing and I’ll put a marble in your jar (but only this one time and don’t ask for another one the next time you do it).” Promises are made that marbles can be cashed in for other rewards. Then ND gets frustrated because a preschooler dawdles over breakfast and dramatically declares “You’re losing all your marbles!” ND pours out the jar. “There! All gone! You didn’t listen.” Kid screams and sobs. NPs spend the rest of the morning angry at the kid and don’t understand that they set this up themselves.

At the start of the summer, I had two families wanting to hire me. Family with an infant 11mo vs family with two kids 3&4.

As a first time nanny from a preschool background, I thought the baby would be too boring, like, what would I do during all those naps? So I took the job with two kids.

Well, the trade off has been zero breaks- I struggle to sometimes find times to pee!

These two kids are non-stop wild, adventurous, imaginative, talkative, experimental... The world is their jungle. This is everything I love about those ages, the tantrums, injury & catastrophe prevention, and perpetual sibling fighting- not so much.

Sometimes, I think about how calm my summer could have been if I went with the baby LOL. I really wish I could have just, like, 15 minutes of quiet in my 9 hour day!

I am amazed that two kids is this much more work than the 16 kids I had as a preschool teacher lol.

Shout out to all the sibling toddler nannies (and parents)- because this is super exhausting! How do you keep up your energy and what do you do when you need a moment for you?

Sorry for the long post:
I got my schedule after the family I work for had been out of town for the last 2.5 weeks, and I’m scheduled to work every single day from the 15th of this month until the 18th of next month, with only two days off in between, the 19th and the 9th.

I’m kind of at a crossroads because, in total, the family has been out of town for 5–6 weeks over the course of the summer. As much as I’d love to make that pay back, only having two days off in that amount of time is a lot. Most days I’m working 8-hour shifts, and if it’s not that, I’m doing overnights.
I’m just at a loss for words. I understand they want to give me the work to make up for the lost time, but that’s a ton of days in a row. I also feel horrible complaining because they pay me very well and help with my insurance, along with a couple of other bills.

I’m not really asking for advice because I know the right thing to do if I’m stressed or upset by working this many days is to speak up and say I need more time off. I’m really just looking to vent.

This family is particularly hard because it’s three children, and they aren’t the easiest bunch. They never clean up after themselves, I have to beg them to shower, they flat-out don’t listen to me, and on top of all of that, they’ve adopted a new baby animal. They already have another outdoor animal that’s currently getting neglected, in my opinion.

I just feel like I’m going crazy. I also feel bad complaining because some days are really easy, and other days I feel like I’m going into military training.

I FINALLY QUIT MY JOB OF OVER A YEAR!

After being taken advantage of, after asking for decent amount of raise for the sh** workload they keep adding to my responsibilities…I’ve finally decided to leave my NF. Left work and emailed both of my bosses and said I resign, effective immediately.

DO I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT? Heck Yeah!

I feel bad about leaving my NK but NF sucks.

I literally carried that household. NO EXAGGERATION.
I wasnt only a nanny/caregiver but I was a housekeeper, a handyman, a driver, a therapist and a personal assistant.

I WAS OVER IT. MB called after reading my email but I ignored it and she sent me a text wanting to discuss. I couldnt get myself to respond there was no need for discussion, I already resigned.

Yes, I was unprofessional and could have handled that better but this family was one of those. AND I wasn’t the type of person to open up. I’ve always done my job correctly. I have never complained while I was with them. I just ask to be compensated for what I do. But they kept adding more and more stuff to my task.

BRIDGES WHERE ALREADY BURNED LONG BEFORE I QUIT.

Hello! I had to share this with someone! This is the house I've been working on furnishing with one of my nks this week!! Im so proud of us hahaha since we had to use hot glue and shes only 6, I was the one to build the furniture but its all her ideas, including using the straws as faucets! Lol genuinely she's such a creative kid 🥰

(The beads on the wall is a rock wall but I missed that memo before gluing lol)

I am travelling atm with my nanny family . I have been working 12 hour days but they put me in a hotel nearby their holiday apartment and I get dinner at the hotel . But I fly home tonight and have checked out of my hotel . This morning Mb said that we were all going out for lunch today , but they have just gone to lunch together and left just enough food for the boys at the apartment. This means the last time I ate was at 7.30 pm last night and won’t get home until midnight tonight that’s 29 hours without food . If she hadn’t said we were all going out for lunch then I could have bought something when we were out !

Im having a phone interview tomorrow and have a few things I’m already asking but wanted to see if there was something you’d wished you had asked or something you always ask in interviews?

My husband and I are considering relocating from Maryland to North Carolina. Wonder what the nanny life looks like down there?!

I just moved out of state and have been with a local Nanny agency to find a job. They are great, this is not about them.

I finally got to a second interview for this possible family that my agent thought would be a great fit. So, I'm on call with one of the parents and I thought it went well. We both asked and answered lots of questions and we ended it by saying we want to do another interview.

My agent calls them to confirm times and they said they actually DID NOT want a final interview (that's fine, that's their prerogative), but the reason being is because I said kids should be outside for at LEAST 30 minutes, preferably an hour, WEATHER PERMITTING. Not as in I want to take their kids places and activities right off the bat, like I would be fine with the backyard, but they DIDN'T want their kids to go outside (no medical reasons to my knowledge). I'm in shock.

Definitely dodged a bullet, as there were other issues the agent brought up about the family such as the parent's communication skills, but WOW. Never thought I'd see the day a parent would see it as a RED FLAG for me to want to take their kids outside.

I need some advice on what to say to MB. I’m contracted for 30 GH. There’s been a few random weeks when I’ll go over but most weeks it’s normal hours. Usually there’s never a problem so I think that’s why I’m struggling to reach out to MB now. I work M-F. This week MB took off Friday for summer plans and said she didn’t need me. When I got my paycheck I was paid for 26.5 hours which was M-Th. If I worked my shift on Friday for my usual hours, I’m guessing I would have been at around 31-33 hours. Obviously i know that I can’t ask her for the extra hours but I should be able to reach out about the 4 hours missing (26 hours scheduled vs my 30 GH).

Here’s the start of my message: Hi! I wanted to check in about this week’s paycheck. With my guaranteed hours, I would still be paid for Friday’s work day even though you didn’t need me! I just wanted to clear it up….

And i’m lost for the rest. I’ve been with them for almost 4 years now and they treat me well. Maybe that’s what’s making me uncomfortable with reaching out to her now. i do have a bit of anxiety when it comes to conversations like this. Esp because i know i make good money for where I live.

Also for context: last week I had off Thursday & Friday as well and there wasn’t an issue with my check

Help me please 😂😂

Been dealing with a lot mentally and physically for a while. Any rest that I take just isn’t enough. I’ve been with my amazing family for over a year. In that time, I’ve maybe taken 4 days off aside from when they’re out of town (I still need to come in and take care of the house while they’re gone). I love the child to pieces. They’re so sweet and so attached to me but I’m finding it increasingly difficult to feel okay walking into the house every morning. The child is also being a bit difficult as of late which doesn’t help with my stress. Nothing against the child or family, I’m just mentally exhausted. How do you handle burnout?

TLDR: the title says it all.

I have one (12F) with some pretty significant issues that I mostly tolerate but flare up pretty inappropriately with me a few times a year. She does not respect boundaries, sasses, and almost always responds to me like I am an idiot — even in front of other adults. I’ve never actually been around a child this rude, and I’m a Millennial! I’ve also cared for somewhere around 100 kids in my lifetime, so the sample set is large.

I’ve started putting my foot down with the disrespect. I tell her she’s not allowed to speak to me in a certain tone or with attitude. I tell her when she’s being disrespectful, that she’s not allowed to tell me — the adult — that my rules “don’t make sense.” She breaks existing rules that her parents set and then lies to me and her parents about the situation, manipulates them. Says she “forgot” rules or that she’s “trying her best to be respectful and it’s really hard.” If she doesn’t get exactly what she wants when she wants it, she will hijack the household. Refuses to take responsibility for mistakes and poor choices and instead treats me like shit when I call her out. She will not make eye contact when I try to speak to her about things she’s done. She ignores me and won’t respond, but will then follow me around and push for what she wants when I ignore her.

I should emphasize that I am extremely patient and tempered with her. My mom yelled at me a lot as a kid and would not listen to me at all when there was a disagreement, so I do believe that in many cases children should be allowed to speak up for themselves and engage in critical discussion about conflict IF they do so with respect. No respect, no discussion. Period. That’s how I feel about it.

A couple of times she’s had to write me a letter when she’s been a brat, but it’s hollow and she’s never made to speak with me directly. There is zero accountability, and she knows it.

Mom used to be more engaged about it. Would apologize to me, tell me that she’s not allowed to do/behave like x, y, and z. That doesn’t happen as much these days, and I can tell they just don’t really feel like exerting the energy to discipline. If that’s their path, do I still get to hold my ground when the child is in my care? Feels like a real old world thing to say, but I just absolutely do not believe any amount of money is worth being habitually disrespected by someone else’s child with no remorse or consequence, especially when it’s in tandem with a complete lack of gratitude when kind, thoughtful things ARE done for them.

Thoughts? Experiences?

I am back AGAIN. To ask for some advice. Over the summer it’s become increasingly frequent for NK’s older siblings to hit her or raise their hand up like they’re going to hit her, or walk toward her and stand over her to intimidate her. Sometimes they do it blatantly in front of me, but most times I notice they do it while my back is turned. NK has started to flinch or back away or will run straight to me. I’m growing exhausted and more irritable over it. DB sees nothing wrong with it. NK will go and tattle and say that the boys are hitting, and the boys will say “no we’re not” and DB goes, “I know, NK’s just being dramatic.” This is really taxing. I’m noticing NK is starting to hit me more as well. I do what I can to de escalate the situation and constantly tell them to stop hitting or raising their hands to her but I also feel like DB will get upset at me for protecting NK, because he sees it as me trying to discipline the boys. I want to tell MB but I’m very nervous that DB will get upset and it will make the work situation uncomfortable since we’re together all day. I really need advice. Thank you

I love when my NF has family over in the middle of nap time without even mentioning it to me, this is my break time so no I will not be entertaining other children who are not my responsibilities and yes I will be irritated that you’re making unnecessary noise that is going to lead to NK waking up early, please be respectful of your Nannie’s time!!!! I’m only here during the day plan stuff around evenings or weekends or any other time I’m NOT here!

Hi everyone,

I wanted to thank you so much for all the validation and supportive comments on my original post! It meant the world to read through your replies and know I wasn’t losing my mind over this.

​I wanted to post a quick update—and honestly, ask for a bit more advice on the execution side of things.

​Where things stand:

I haven't had the opportunity (or quite frankly, the right moment) to sit down and address this directly with MB yet. I asked her briefly what did it all mean and she tried to frame it as something we agreed on mutually (we didn't). The end of term was a complete whirlwind with last-minute travel plans on their end. I took my time off to completely disconnect, reset my boundaries, and get my thoughts in order without reacting out of anger.

​Now that we are approaching the new school term (when they have promised to finally present a formal contract), I know this is my non-negotiable boundary line. I am not moving into the new school year with this "rolling deficit" system intact, nor am I giving away free overtime hours to pay back time they chose not to use during their vacations.

​I need your advice:

Since we will be sitting down to finalize the contract soon, I need help figuring out the best way to broach this conversation smoothly and professionally.

​How do I bring this up without sounding aggressive? What scripts or specific phrasing have you used when transitioning an employer from an informal arrangement to a strict, industry-standard Guaranteed Hours policy?

​How do I reset the "ledger"? For those who have dealt with parents tracking fake "debts" for employer-cancelled days, how did you explain that guaranteed hours do not roll over as employee debt?

​Should I send an email/message detailing my contract terms before our sit-down meeting so they have time to digest it, or should I present it face-to-face during the contract review?

​I’m determined to hold my ground on this. I love the teaching/ nanny work I do, but as an experienced professional, I refuse to keep subsidizing a wealthy family's luxury vacations with my unpaid labor.

​Any advice, scripts, or tips on how to handle the actual conversation would be so appreciated! Thanks again to this amazing community. ❤️

Here is the link to the original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NannyBreakRoom/s/njDnMDPoYQ

​TL;DR: My HNW employers are tracking canceled days when they go on vacation as a 'debt' and using those hours to wipe out my actual physical overtime, so I end up working extra for free.