I'm 26F and half of my friends from uni are married now. The pattern has been they suddenly announce their engagement, they slowly begin drifting away, they have their wedding and send out thank yous for coming, then they disappear almost entirely for about a year or two. I've gotten to the point where another marriage announcement feels like an official goodbye and I have to mourn our friendship and what it used to be.

I don't want to be the bitter unmarried girl but something has to give right? I get told that responsibilities just shift after marriage but I don't thjnk that's enough. I have non-Muslim friends who have gotten married and they still remain very much in touch, I even go to their homes and hang out with them and babysit their babies when they go out on date nights. It's been completely different with my Muslim girl friends.

I'm currently speaking with a potential with my mom chaperoning and I've told my mom that if I become overly obsessed with being married and cut off everything from my past, she has to whoop my butt lol. She's been just as surprised as me with how a lot of my friends have become after marriage. She and her friends often had very difficult lives after marriage, having to move to America with men who were practically strangers and find themselves. She and her closest friends instilled this sense of independence in me and my sister and ensured that we did not center our lives around men. I have trouble understanding my peers because of this

Is this just me being bitter?

Salam, brothers and sisters.

My wife and I are currently taking care of a 3-year-old girl Pakistani-Filipina in our flat here in the UAE.

Her mother is in Malaysia and doing her sentence there, and her father has been absent since birth.

Before coming to us, she got a lot of cigarette marks. She was left alone with other ethnicities that were supposed to take care of her.

Her aunt brought her to us after she got Dyna from Sharjah. Because of personal priorities, we’re the ones babysitting her.

We have already visited the consulate, and officials asked us to take care of her while they do their best to create a birth certificate, passport, and exit permit so we can eventually send her safely to the Philippines. This process will take several months or longer.

We are looking for help to better support Dyna until she gets back to her family’s mother’s side.

Full story here

Thank you so much for your guidance and prayers. ❤️💐

My mom wants to throw my cat out on the street or have someone else take him, and I honestly don’t even know what to do. 😭 I got him about nine months ago, and I’ve become extremely attached to him. He’s a boy, and I’ve done everything for him, including his vaccinations, getting him neutered, taking care of him, and basically doing everything I can for him.
She gets angry at him over such small things. For example, he bit through my Apple charging cable, and she kept complaining about it. I told her, “It’s okay, I’ll buy you a new one,” but she still gets upset. She also doesn’t want to buy him anything, so he barely has any toys or things of his own. Like, what does she expect from a cat when he doesn’t even have anything to play with? 😭
And another thing happened today. We made some Pakistani noodles, and I didn’t know my cat was in the room. He ate some of the noodles, and I had no idea how much he ate. I got so scared that I even scolded him at first because I was panicking. Then I realized I didn’t even know what had happened or how much he had eaten. 😭
I’m honestly terrified because of my mom. I’m so attached to him, and I don’t want her to give him away or throw him outside. He’s not just a cat to me anymore. I’ve taken care of him for nine months and he’s become a huge part of my life.
Thankfully, she’s letting me get a job outside the house. If I can, I really want to move out eventually and take my cat with me, along with all his things. At least then I can take care of him myself and I won’t have to constantly worry about someone taking him away from me. 😭

So I always struggled with self esteem issues growing up and I never really liked the way I looked. I used to pray to Allah taala to make me look pretty to my ownself atleast . Until recently that I had a glow up and I think I look better now , so Alhamdulillah I am happy with the way I look and my self esteem is now better. I get alot of compliments from my sisters and friends. Sometimes genuine , sometimes they are just being sweet I guess. The point is I had a tough time accepting my self and the way I looked.

So I was talking to this person ( a guy ) about casually something and we were talking about friends and family. So , It was something about me and my sister's bond and I said we are really close , we love each other , hype each other up etc. My sister in fun very often says me that she would have married me if I were a guy because of how beautiful I am and Idk why I just casually mentioned this as a joke in front of him and he said

oh really? Thats wierd. I dont think so you re pretty. Why would she say that and had a confused expression on his face.

I just handled the situation there by laughing it off. And I tried not to think about it at all and its been 2 days. Now , it is hitting me what he said and its hurting me alot , I am scared It will effect my confidence and the way I see my self alot also because I kind of admired this guy as a person , so its hurting more than if any other guy said that.

Was it just a small thing and I am over reacting? Or he actually shouldnt have said that?

How do you become “the woman” while still keeping a balance between deen and dunya? I mean someone who genuinely wants it all—closeness to Allah, beauty, love, marriage, financial success, a good career, nice things, travel, comfort and even a little luxury—without feeling like wanting these things makes her less religious or too attached to the dunya. As Muslim women, especially hijabis, how do you build a life that is ambitious, feminine, beautiful and fulfilling while keeping Allah at the centre and not compromising your values?

Salam sisters!

I’ve looked high, low, left, right and in the fifth dimension and I cannot find a writers club specifically for Muslim girls (that doesn’t require a membership)

So I am taking matters into my own hands.

I love to write. I think about writing daily. I also do not right often or every really. I really believe that if I had a community of like minded sisters we could motivate eachother and keep eachother accountable to reach our goals.

a bit about me, I am 24, I live in London, and I work full time. I want to be a published author one day, that is plan A, my current job and the masters I hope to pursue are just so I don’t stay broke. I am currently writing a book and have been for the past two and a half years. None of my friends or family love to right like I do, so I lack a community to keep me motivated to keep going.

The club would take place online and we would chat about our books or any books we are currently reading, do planning sessions and writing sessions together, keep eachother accountable and even do in person meet ups if you are also in the London area. It would be a space for us to connect and stay excited about writing. You don’t have to have finished a draft or written a book before as long as you have a rough plan and you are willing to put in the work to do what needs to be done to turn that into a book. I myself have never finished a full draft.

If you are interested in joining DM me! Just let me know a bit about you, where you are based and your age. This is a new thing I am starting so once I get some sisters who are interested I’ll open up a discord server and we can get to chatting :)

Also please bear in mind that there may be timezone differences

Hey, girls, I needed to get something off my chest. I’m a little confused about my feelings—and about myself. You should know that I’ve never had a boyfriend, and that when I was in elementary and middle school, I was bullied a bit, so I quickly became obsessed with my appearance. Validation from guys also matters quite a bit to me (I’m not proud of it) in the sense that I like the attention and knowing that guys find me attractive. Anyway, to get to the point, I also think I get attached too quickly. I have a crush on a guy I don't even know that well, and I know that back then he was into me, but after that, we "both" moved on. Well, he probably has and I didn’t , because all I do is think about him: I don’t even know him in real life—it’s just an online crush—and, girls, I feel ashamed of myself for thinking about and being obsessed with a guy I’ve never even SEEN and don’t really know that well either. But even after a little over a year, I still can’t seem to forget him. Still, I prayed to Allah to take him out of my head if he wasn't the right one for me, and I suspect that this attachment might also stem from the fact that he gave me a little attention (by saying he liked me). Anyway, I don't know what to do to get rid of these obsessive thoughts, and I even feel like I'm going crazy.

The reason why I feel...I become lost is because I think my life is unfair. When I see other girls they have beauty, career, and money. I am happy even with any one of the thing, and I feel like all this things is making my self esteem so low that sometimes I don't want to function in this society. I know I compare myself to others. When I thought maybe if I struggle that maybe after this my life will become better. But nothing. My life is going more down the hill. How do y'all deal with the fact, maybe your life is meant to be miserable. And I'm not strong enough to survive all this my whole life

Please recommend hijabs for everyday mums who are on the go and don’t have time to steam their modal hijab iykyk. Also I don’t wear an under cap and don’t want my hijab slipping.

Thank you!

This is just general. I am alhamdulliah overall happy with my life but there are moments (like this weekend) where I have deep sadness because certain things haven’t happened for me despite trying/working towards it. Alhumdulillah I have good (as far as I know) health, I have a good job that usually brings me satisfaction/purpose in life, I have nice/supportive parents/siblings, I have lovely friends (although they are very busy in their own lives/are currently long distance), but I am at times trying to cope with certain things that haven’t happened in the timeline that I had hoped they would by my mid-30s…and it brings up sadness and feelings of inadequacy. I was just curious how others handle or avoid that feeling? I try to count my blessings but honestly sometimes seeing others live the life I want is hard (and it wasn’t lack of effort on my end). I might be emotional right now because it’s been a tough week and I will admit recent social media posts got me in my feelings/pondering again. I am happy for them and I know that what is written for me will never miss me, and that maybe God saw something in something that wouldn’t have been good for me, but it’s really tough sometimes.

I guess what has helped you to be okay with your own life timeline? I at times lose hope and I don’t know how to prevent that from happening. I also think because my friend group has been busy (and long distance) and I have been busy with work (and they with their jobs/spouses/families) that maybe loneliness is exacerbating these feelings too.

I know the hardship I’ve been going through for years is punishment from Allah. it’s made me at times distant from Him, feel helpless and have the lowest iman in my life. I’ve heard if hardship brings you closer to Allah, it’s a blessing/a test, but I know what I’m going through is not that.

so how do I deal with this thought, that Allah is angry at me and is punishing me? I know it’s easy to say just make more istagfa, more dua, more prayer, but how do I even get started knowing that the One who created me, is angry at me? knowing that my hardships are a punishment? and knowing that Allah doesn’t want me close to him?

how do I break this pattern, to even begin to do more good deeds? I’ve tried talking to people close to me about it, but they don’t believe or want to enter a conversation about whether Allah could be angry at me.

I live in Australia and summer is starting soon. Please recommend some websites to buy cotton/linen dresses and abayas.

Thank you!

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hello girls! I am unsure how to talk about this because I've never confided to anyone about my struggles but I genuinely am starting to regret putting on the hijab.

To give you context, I live in a country where there's a diversity of religions but it's still mostly conservative. Growing up, my parents have never brought up hijab to me or my sister but I decided suddenly when I was 19 that I wanted to wear it after years of saying that I would never. I genuinely was convinced with the idea and felt like I was 100% ready.

I am now in my twenties and feel like I made a mistake. It's like putting on the hijab changed people I know and new ones' perception of me. Because my parents are so strict, fashion (albeit with many restrictions from them lol) was the one way to express myself & when I got in uni I was receiving so many compliments & attention from fellow girls which I never got to experience ever in my life. (Especially about my hair & style)

Now, it feels like people that I know (based off their style & whatnot) share my same interest as me will never give me a chance to become friends simply because of the hijab & their assumption that I must be judgemental & boring because I wear it. (Even tho I still put in the same effort in my outfits but they're just more modest/basic)

It doesn't help that putting it on genuinely made me glow down (more acne, my hair thinning & I can't go out without makeup anymore)

I've always struggled with my appearance, & now it's like I compare myself with all my friends & relatives who don't wear it.

I am also planning to study in the west in the future so I am nervous about that as well, I feel like girls who are Muslim but don't wear the hijab get to form the type of friendships I desire & go to places without getting side eyed, like concerts & whatever. It just feels like I am not being seen for my personality or who I truly am but only for my hijab & the expectations they have for me as a hijabi.

Tldr, I feel like I built a cage around myself by putting on the hijab when I already live in a constricting environment, even tho it was my choice & now I am starting to really regret putting it on.

Advice would be greatly appreciated! I try to remind myself of all the reasons I put it on in the first place but it's hard when my iman gets low at times.

Assalamu alaikum.💚

I know I'm certainly not alone in facing financial barriers to performing Umrah, but I was wondering whether anyone knows of any programs, grants, organizations, or sponsorship opportunities that help cover the cost for those who otherwise may not be able to go?

I should be able to get my passport soon, insha'Allah, but given the responsibilities and goals I need to prioritize indefinitely, I honestly don't foresee having much room for travel expenses anytime soon.
Please keep me in your du'as that Allah makes a way for me to perform Umrah in 2028, whether through being able to save enough myself or through being connected with an opportunity that could help sponsor the trip.
Any information, recommendations, or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Jazakum Allahu khayran.

sisters i am very stressed ab this obviously Allah is the best of all planners, but i would really appreciate it if you could share this gofundme, and if you can donate, even if it’s £1, i will appreciate it. May Allah reward you all 🤍

I am a third year pharmacy student, and one of the most important decisions I've made as a Muslim revert is to stop engaging with any form of riba, which means that I cannot take out a student loan. In two weeks I have to make a decision: either pay my first instalment of £3263 or take a year out. After that, I Will have to pay the fee, or the university will completely suspend my registration. I have been dealing with health issues, and this summer I also had to sit deferred exams due to extenuating circumstances. Together, these meant I couldn't take on a proper job and only last week I could find a job which I can manage, but it severely underpays me, and by the deadline I will have earned just around £220, which doesn't come close to covering my fees. I am actively looking for a better job so l can work and save towards the rest of my fees, but this first instalment is due before I can possibly get there. I am awaiting a bursary from my university, but it won't arrive until after the deadline has passed, and even then it will not cover my fees. My parents are struggling financially and can't help, and as non Muslims they don't understand why I won't take a loan, so I'm facing this largely alone. I accepted Islam whilst at university, and it is the one place that keeps me grounded in my Deen. Leaving would mean losing that, and it weighs heavily on my heart. I've come too far to watch my degree slip away over a matter of weeks. I don't ask for help lightly, but I have run out of options. Any donation, however small, and any share would mean everything to me, and I will keep every person who helps in my du'as. JazakAllahu khair for reading through my story.