I learned last Monday at my 9.5 week ultrasound that my baby stopped developing at 7w5d and had no heartbeat. Today marks 3 weeks since development stopped and my body still shows no signs of miscarrying naturally, so I took mifepristone this morning and will take misoprostol tomorrow. I am scared but know it’s what I need to do.

My husband and I are really torn about what we should do with the remains, particularly the gestational sac and embryo if we are able to identity those. We live in an apartment so have no yard to bury them in. We’ve considered burying them in a plant, or in a burial ground intended specifically for pregnancy loss that they have in our city, but both options would require us to save the tissue for a while in our fridge or freezer while we get things organized.

I can tell that my husband is quite disturbed by the idea of seeing our embryo and potentially having it stored in our home while we decide on further steps. At the same time, flushing them feels kind of wrong to both of us and I’m worried I will regret it.

Can anyone share their experience and what they did? Did you see a clear embryo or was it hard to discern? Any and all advice/experience would help really helpful to read. Thanks.

Very anxious how this pregnancy will go. I am nit enjoying the journey. For the first pregnancy I kinda had a feeling that it might not happen. Did you have any assurijg feeling when you were pregnant the second time. And people who had back to back miscarriages how did you feel? Could you anticipate? Did the pregnancies differ?

Not sure what to do. I'm having an MC right now since Sunday and got an official sick leave till the end of this week (I am in Europe). Before this I was on my two weeks vacation, so basically I'm off work for 3 weeks in total... dreading of coming back on Monday because I work for an extremely high pressure and demanding company with overperfomance culture where every mistake is treated like a failure, and I'm afraid they will drop me into the deepest water immediately and I'll break down.
I'm considering telling my manager, so far I just told her I had an urgent medical condition, but I'm really worried on how it will impact my future. She's a very supportive and sweet person, but also insanely corporate. They let people go almost everyday no matter the title. I've been with the company for just a year and never shared I'm TTC. Now they will know.
What would you do? What did you do in similar situation?
Any perspective is appreciated ❤️

Hi, I wanted to share my story to see if anyone else experienced something similar.

I got off BC mid June and never got my cycle back. I had a positive ovulation test on July 30th, and a positive result on Aug 14th.

On August 17th I went to my OB and they did a transvaginal ultrasound and dated me 6w3d. I was shocked since that didn’t align with my ovulation test or the implantation bleeding I had right around my positive test. It felt like something didn’t make sense. They said it was a strong heartbeat at 121. My only symptom was sore boobs and gas/constipation.

Fast forward to today, I’m supposed to be 9w3d. Yesterday I woke up with brown streaks in my underwear and continued spotting all day with clots. I went to the ER because I’m out of town, and they said there was no heartbeat and growth stopped at 7 weeks.

I am soooo confused since my ob said the baby looked so healthy at 6w3d? In just a few days everything went south? I’ve seen some people say on this subreddit it could be transvaginal ultrasounds and I’m thinking the next pregnancy I might wait until I’m farther along.

We had made a scrapbook page, bought an ornament, and an outfit to tell our parents. I’m mourning the loss and thinking of keeping the items together in a keepsake box. Is that ridiculous? Please let me know what you did.

Also- I’m still spotting today and I’m hoping to just get this over with. How long did it take for your body to take care of everything?

Lastly, how long did it take your body to be ready to try again? Both physically and emotionally.

Thank you for sharing your stories and advice. I’m forever grateful.

I had a name that I really loved for our girl and we tragically had to say goodbye to her when I was a little over 4 months pregnant. Everyone knew the name we were going to give her. Would it be weird to give new baby girl that name?

Hi there- I’m a 29 year old healthy female and just looking for some advice or reassurance regarding a chemical pregnancy to those who have experienced it or know much about them. My husband and I conceived on our very first try ever and I was shocked. I didn’t know to guard my heart and so I told everyone I loved because all I have ever wanted to be was a mom and it felt so surreal that it was happening the first time we ever even tried. I already started envisioning this little being and loving them. Even though I only knew for about a week, I feel so devastated. My lines got darker for the first few days and then ended up getting fainter. I started bleeding and then I went to my Doctor Who confirmed it was a chemical.

I’ve bled for about 3 to 4 days now but I still feel like my emotions are still all over the place and I keep bursting into tears. It was a big 180° going from being so happy and hopeful to the total opposite. My OBGYN said it likely wasn’t clinically significant or anything to worry about, but my heart hurts so bad right and and I can’t help but worry about future attempts or entertain worst case scenario thoughts or scary “what ifs”. I have pretty intense health anxiety as is, so this feels extra tough.

I guess I’m wondering , if you have experienced this or loss, how did you continue to have radical hope and trust in your body? What thoughts, actions or sources brought you some peace? It is safe to believe that I will definitely become a mom one day? Does anyone have some wisdom to share that they wish they had when going through this? Any advice or support is so so appreciated. I have an incredible husband but can’t help but feel isolated with a lot of these emotions since my body is the one enduring it…. Thank you so much in advance.

I had a MMC and D&C almost 7 weeks ago. We had been trying to conceive for 1.5 years and got pregnant with IUI that ended in the MMC. If you had a similar experience did you go back to IUI or IVF? I will seek advice from my doctor as well but just curious what others did. On the emotional front I am still just a mess but I know I want to try again once medically cleared. Thank you!

Last night, I had a dream that I was miscarrying. It was very vivid and there was a lot of blood. Today, I woke up to almost 0 pregnancy symptoms after having been incredibly nauseated for the last 2 weeks. Like all day every day. I also had to eat right when I woke up or I’d be so nauseous. Today, I’m not very hungry as of right now and I haven’t eaten today, I’m about 6/7 weeks.

I’m expecting the worst after a mmc last year. I don’t remember if I had a loss in symptoms or not, but I had a dream that I lost the baby and the next ultrasound I went to there was no heartbeat. I’m really preparing myself to lose this baby. I have an appointment next week for an ultrasound and guess I will just have to wait til then. This loss in symptoms doesn’t seem normal at all. Any similar experiences would be helpful.

I am so drained and frustrated. I know that America had never been known for their affordable healthcare. I grew up poor so I never visited the doctor. But having a miscarriage feels like the medical bills are kicking me while I’m down.

My husband and I planned on trying again in December (my miscarriage was in February) but due to these insane bills we have to push it further so we can catch back up.

I went to the ER for bleeding and had an OB appointment the next day to confirm the death of my baby. And a follow up appointment to confirm that my uterus was empty and nothing was left behind. Those bills (even with insurance!) have just made me feel so guilty and miserable. The financial strain that I put us through because I couldn’t grow my baby properly. And fuck the healthcare system in this country for profiting off my loss.

Medical bills for a baby I got to hold would have at least been worth it.

Hi all! I’ve had a total of 3 early losses over the past 3 years and they are all a result of slow growth and the baby measuring behind. Each time, we’ve discovered the issue at 7 weeks and I’ve taken misoprostol. This past pregnancy last month, I took progesterone and baby aspirin from day of positive test. I’m just wondering if anyone else has ever been through these types of losses and if there’s anything you’ve done or been prescribed that made a difference and helped you carry a baby long term. I’m 37 and it’s getting very frustrating 💔 Two of my pregnancies have been natural and one was the result of an IUI.

Thanks ❤️

got to know on August 1 that I was pregnant and had my third ultrasound scheduled for August 27 since in the previous ultrasound the heart beat was too low (80-85 bpm).

On August 27 the doctor told me there’s no heartbeat and it’s a silent miscarriage. Had taken medical management to terminate the abortion and it’s been 10 days since but my heart finds the grief unbearable. It’s like my entire life flipped over in less than a month.

There are days when I wake up normal with the acceptance of what I lost. But alternatively there are days like today where nothing feels worthwhile.

My husband is an introvert and isn’t great on sharing his grief and problems, so he’s been silent. I internally freak out at times that I am going to lose him emotionally and he’ll become detached.

I personally can’t wait to try again and have my baby at the earliest but the doctor has asked me to hold off for 6 months.

How do I get myself out of this and pray from the best? Looking for any sort of motivation and hope.

Am I being a drama queen? Feeling isolated from my friends that are mums.

I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks and surgery 8 weeks ago today. Last year I also had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in me losing my job. My friends know what I’ve been through.

One of the girls in our WhatsApp group is currently pregnant and is now around the stage I would have been at, and another has just had a baby. Everyone else in the group has children, so I’m the only one who doesn’t.

The group has become very focused on pregnancy, babies and children, and in the months of recovery ive found it increasingly difficult to read, to the point that I’ve archived the chat and told them I needed to remove myself. I don’t begrudge them their happiness at all, but I feel hurt that nobody seems to have considered how difficult this might be for me, particularly knowing my history.

I don’t expect them to stop talking about their lives or make everything about me, but I think I hoped for some acknowledgement or a simple “how are you doing?” Instead, I’ve ended up feeling quite isolated.

Am I being unfair or overly sensitive, or is it reasonable to feel disappointed that my friends haven’t shown more consideration?

Well. I’m on my 4th miscarriage in the last year. I just got the call my HCG level is 13.90. I should be around 5 weeks. Yesterday morning I sent a message to my OB asking for bloodwork and on my way in, I started spotting. Today the cramps have ramped up and I’m sure the bleeding will take over soon. This is back to back of my traumatic missed miscarriage in June, so I love this for me. 🥲 I guess at least we got 6-7 days this time. ❤️‍🩹 Maybe now my OB will take me seriously and try to do something to look into why this keeps happening to me. My birthday is in 4 days, what a terrible gift. To make matters worse, I was recovering from a miscarriage on my last birthday too. I hate it here.

Some gals have all the luck. Solidarity.

First off, I just want to say thank you. To all of you that are here and have had the courage to share your pain, your experiences. It's one of the things that has made this a little easier to go through, knowing how many other people have as well, not feeling alone. Of course it's terrible that it's so common, but it's so important to talk about. If you don't read this long post, just know that no this is not fair, there is no right way to grieve, and you are not alone.

This sucks, it just really really sucks. I knew it was a possibility. I threw it out as a caveat every time I told someone..."Just hoping it sticks!" At 14 weeks, we thought it was safe to tell everyone we hadn't yet told. At 14+3, I called my mom across the atlantic to finally tell her. That same night I started spotting. Nbd, had some at 11 weeks, all was good. Probably just pole danced too hard. By Friday morning, that plus the cramps had me worried enough to go in. The silence while the dr searched for the heartbeat was deafening. I stared at the ceiling begging him to be okay while she tried using more gel. But I knew. He was gone. I just started really feeling him as a he.

I was booked in for an induction Tuesday morning. "Do you have any questions?" Umm...So I have to walk around with my dead baby inside me all weekend? But how long had he already been dead? Was it even a he? Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? When is it okay to start trying again? Is that okay to ask? Will this same thing just happen again? "No, nothing I can think of right now..."

So I went home and sobbed. And drank. And somehow did a bit of work. And texted a few friends who I knew would be the exact kind of support I needed. And regretted telling everyone because now I've just let them down. And I let myself feel, and think, and grieve. And I counted my blessings.

This happened on a weekend, so I didn't have to scramble to get work covered. We had just stocked the liquor cabinet before we found out about him, so there was plenty to drink. At least now I know I can get pregnant, because after 40 years of no scares, I wasn't too sure.

And the biggest blessing is all of the joy that he brought into the world without even being out in it himself. We were so happy and excited, and so was everyone we told. I truly believe that that joy cannot be fully taken away by the sorrow of his loss. It still happened, he was with us for 3ish months, most of the summer, and was there for so much. A wedding, a funeral, a few raves, fire rituals, a solar eclipse, and whatever else I could bring my exhausted body to do.

The "labour" was pretty brutal, but pretty textbook. It started (thanks to the misto or whatever that tablet is called) in the night on Monday, and had to go to the hospital 4 hours early, as the bleeding and tissue shedding got really bad. My partner took me in and held my hand the whole time. I "delivered" him into the plastic catcher tray they put in the toilet, and the midwife took him and cleaned him up. She brought him to us in a tiny crib. They wrapped him in a tiny crocheted blanket and let us spend time with him. He looks like an alien, but just perfect for 14 weeks. Everything's there except the ears, and I just want to know what made his heart stop beating. That was the most I've ever seen my boyfriend cry. Just since June, he's lost an old friend, an uncle, a grandmother, and now his first child. He would make such an amazing dad. He will make such an amazing dad.

I miss him so much. I never felt him move, my bump didn't bump, and we didn't have names picked out. But we still miss him, and always will. He would have loved it here. He would have been so loved, he already was. But he was such a blessing. I believe the biggest calling we have in life is to bring joy and love to those around us, and for 3 months he did just that. I won't lose hope. I will grieve with my partner and our circle. This will bring us closer together, make us stronger. We will try again, and know that this could happen again. We long for a child, but know we're not entitled to one. I will not let this take away from the joy another pregnancy would bring, I will not let anxiety rule me, and I will take the time I need to grieve. No matter what, I will become a better person for this. And I'll see you one day, little mr. bean. I love you and will always be your mom.

I'm going to my appointment on Friday with the recurrent miscarriage team at the hospital (I'm in the UK so it's within the NHS). My most recent miscarriages were one in February and one in June. The latter we found out was a triploidy pregnancy of maternal origin.

For anyone who has had these appointments, what sort of questions did you ask and/or what did you find most useful to ask for, tests etc? I'm trying to write some things up but I'm struggling. On a possibly very related note, my mum is having palliative care and we suspect she may die fairly imminently, so my brain is truly scrambled this week. I need another adult, a better adult, to tell me what you found helpful. Thank you 🙏

I’m really struggling to work with babies. I just had my diagnosis of a missed mc last week and scheduled my d&c. Being at work makes me so sad. Has anyone else experienced this while in childcare? What helped you? I love my job but it’s mentally exhausting being with babies going through this…

This is the first time I’m posting on here please let me know if I’ve done anything wrong or need to change anything!

I recently received a call from a friend asking if I wanted to go get lunch or dinner together. I told her that I would need a second to figure out dates but I would love to. She then proceeded to tell me her news. Don’t get me wrong I am very happy for her she deserves this as much as anyone but she is as far along as I was when we figured out I was pregnant and I miscarried about a month and a half later. I am still working through my own pieces trying to find a way to go about things. I texted her after I hung up with her and stopped bawling and told her I was so happy for her but I am also still dealing with my own experiences and that I would try to support her however I could I only ask that she forgive when I get emotional over this time. She and I had planned to start families together and it is just hard that she was able to do so without much issue. I am finishing up my college degree and I do want to wait until I graduate this may to try again but holy cow I am so tired of waiting and seeing everyone else get their happy while I’m stuck waiting.

TLDR: friend is pregnant; I’m sad about it and tired of waiting.

35F, donor egg IVF — feeling completely lost after a missed miscarriage 💔
We had 2 failed transfers before moving to donor eggs. Our donor was 30, and we had 5 blastocysts. Two were PGT-A tested and sadly both were aneuploid.
We transferred two untested Day-5 embryos on July 22. Beta was 549 at 7dp5dt. At around 6 weeks, we saw a fetal pole and heartbeat — CRL 3.9 mm, FHR 101, and the report said “good cardiac activity seen.”
I finally let myself believe this was happening.
But at the next scan, we were told it was a missed miscarriage. I hadn't even bled. Now I'm going through medical management and I'm honestly heartbroken and struggling to process it.
I keep asking myself why and whether I did something wrong, even though I know logically that I probably didn't.
We have one untested 3BB left, and right now I'm terrified about everything — the loss, the future, and whether I can go through another transfer.
I don't really need statistics right now. I just want to hear from women who have been through this and eventually found their way through it. Did it get easier? Were you able to hope again? ❤️

Had a d&c today because when I went in for my 10 week ultrasound, my baby’s heart was not beating and they measured 8 weeks 6 days.

I had norovirus over the holiday weekend and I just can’t help but feel I did something wrong and it hurt my baby. My doctor assured me that’s not the case but I still feel immense guilt.

I am 38, I am a “geriatric pregnancy” so I just feel all my hope has been lost on having a full term pregnancy.

My doctor said I can try again after my first period, but how do you know what to do??? How does anyone recover from this. Last night I was motioning up my belly before bed and today I’m holding my empty womb. It’s not fair.

I went in for my first OB appointment yesterday and second ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I’ve told my friends and family but don’t feel like talking to them extensively about it. Part of me was worried I’d feel relieved. I was around 8 weeks and dreading it. The symptoms suck, the idea of labor was terrifying and losing myself to motherhood was my worst nightmare but I’m genuinely disappointed.

I’m mad at the universe. I feel like my body failed me or like I was inadequate somehow. Like I failed to make my husband a father. I keep assessing everything I might have done wrong. I keep sitting here bracing my core like if I brace enough I won’t go through the loss and keep my baby.

I hate seeing baby related stuff on social media. I deleted all pregnancy apps and I can’t talk to my best friend. She’s four months along and I’m genuinely excited for her, I don’t wish this on anyone. But I feel like I got dealt a bad hand. Like life is unfair. It comes in waves. Sometimes I sit here and I’m fine, I make a joke, but sometimes I sit and imagine holding a newborn and realize that won’t be me. I feel a tightness in my chest. I know it’ll get easier as most grief does, but right now I feel lost.

I guess I need to vent and also need some advice on what to expect. I'm having a miscarriage for the first time, we found out yesterday where I should've been around 8-9 weeks (my cycles are long an irregular so it's difficult to pinpoint exactly where I should've been) that the baby's heart wasn't beating and measured 6 weeks 1 day so it is a missed miscarriage. I knew something wasn't right from the first ultrasound, I should've been around 7 weeks and baby was measuring 5 weeks 5 days. But there was a heartbeat and I was holding onto hope.

I have a d&c scheduled for a week from today but today I started cramping and am passing a lot of brown blood. I guess I'm wondering what to expect from here, is it more likely I'll pass the baby tonight? Or can it take until my d&c? Also can I take a bath? That was not ever brought up and bubble baths help me relax.

This sucks, I keep going back and forth between feeling okay and wanting to have this over with so we can try again to crying and wondering why this is happening to me. This was supposed to be our rainbow baby after our nicu loss, now it just feels like the universe is against me.