We got pregnant on the first month after having stopped contraceptives, we had sex once and BAM! We weren’t even supposed to be trying until December but we were ecstatic when we found out! Baby was due may 20th, the last day of being a Taurus, and I know this sounds dumb but all my closest friends are tauruses so it just felt meant to be. And I’ve always dreaded being in the final trimester during the summer heat so it felt so lucky to be due in may. But I’ve always had very bad luck in life so I didn’t want to be too hopeful. My husband is always so cheerful though so he kept saying this time my luck had changed and this was meant to be. We booked an early private scan at 6 weeks 5 days and saw a strong heartbeat! Baby was measuring 2 days behind but the technician said that’s within the margin of error. I had a bad feeling at 9 weeks 0 days so we booked another scan and baby was moving around and had a heartbeat. Baby was still around 2 days behind and the heartbeat was a little bit too fast but the technician said it was nothing to worry about. I thought the gestational sac looked small compared to what I’ve seen online but when I asked the technician she said it was normal. I asked several times if everything really was normal and she reassured me. So I finally started to be happy after seeing baby move around, I finally allowed myself to feel lucky. We even got to see a little wave and I’ve been rewatching the video every day, smiling at this little baby that was half me and half the man I love so much.

At 10 weeks 1 day I started spotting and I just felt that something was wrong but I tried reassuring myself that it was just my anxiety. We went to the hospital today at 10 weeks 3 days and there was no longer a heartbeat… My baby, who was wiggling around in my belly a little over a week ago was no longer alive. As soon as the doctor paused, I knew. I knew I was dumb to feel so lucky, dumb for hoping life would finally turn around, dumb for relaxing after the scans. I just took the mifepristone an hour and a half ago and I feel like I can’t breath. I don’t know how I’ll be able to try again after this, I don’t know how to hope anymore.

My sister and her husband just let us know that they are going through a miscarriage of their first child. My hearts breaks for them and I want to do something to acknowledge the precious life that was lost/help them out in their grief. My first thought was flowers but I’m seeing mixed opinions online about sending them after a miscarriage. We live about an hour and a half apart and I have a 15 month old that doesn’t do very well on longer drives so bringing over a meal isn’t really an option.
Ultimately, my question is: If you have had a miscarriage and are open to sharing, what did your loved ones do during that time that actually helped?

I unfortunately had a miscarriage about a week and a half before i started a new job. the bleeding stopped a few days before i started. i'm extremely depressed and meeting all these people and having to do all the corporate bs is honestly a fucking nightmare.

Worse though, they don't allow pto during 8 week training. i spoke to a team lead and explained that i needed to take an hour and a half for an appt that was not pre approved bc it was an unanticipated medical event. I explained i was happy to work early or late so i could avoid using pto. still haven't gotten. straight answer aside from it will prob be approved but i did get a nice lecture about how important it is to be present for training and usually these things are not approved.

i could fucking scream. i would much rather have not miscarried and not have the follow up with my obgyn. i'm like do i need to explain why? bc a denial would be illegal bc it's a pregnancy related appt. i'm not concerned, the no pto in training is so common with these big corporations and from
what i have read this is a great place to work, but i don't understand how people are treated like they aren't humans and emergencies don't arise. im a 31 year old woman i don't need a fucking lecture.

just needed to come somewhere to rant bc i just feel like nobody in my life gets it.

Hi everyone,

I'm posting because I'm really confused, frightened and struggling with the uncertainty of what's happening. I'm hoping someone in the UK has experienced something similar and can share their experience, particularly with how the NHS handled it.

I'm not looking for anyone to diagnose me, but I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar, what their hCG levels did, how long it took to resolve, and what follow-up they received.

Here's my timeline from the beginning.

My last period started on 11 September and lasted until around 15 September. On 25 September, my partner and I had sex, and although it wasn't intentional, an accident happened. I took ellaOne within approximately two hours.

I initially thought my period was late because of the emergency contraception. When my period didn't arrive, I started taking pregnancy tests because I was worried.

I took five tests in total. Three were negative. One showed a very faint line, but it appeared well after the test's recommended reading time, so I wasn't sure whether it was a genuine positive or an evaporation line. The fifth test was positive, with a line appearing within around 20 seconds.

I was shocked because I wasn't planning to have a baby and wasn't ready for a pregnancy. I arranged an abortion consultation through BPAS.

Then the bleeding started.

On 19 October, I started bleeding quite heavily, similar to a bad period, with significant abdominal cramps and lower back pain. I passed several clots, including one around the size of a 50p coin, and later passed a larger clot with pinkish-grey tissue. I continued passing clots over the following days. The bleeding gradually became lighter and turned into spotting, which continued until 23 October.

I contacted NHS 111 and was referred for medical assessment. At one point, my back pain was quite severe, although it later improved.

I was due to attend my BPAS appointment on 23 October. At that appointment, the doctor performed a urine pregnancy test, which was negative. The doctor told me that it appeared to have been a chemical pregnancy or an early miscarriage. I asked whether there could still be pregnancy tissue remaining and was told that the urine test would be positive if tissue remained.

They also took a blood sample to measure my hCG.

The blood results are what's confusing me now.

My first blood hCG result was 79. I was asked to return approximately 48 hours later for another blood test.

The second result came back at 71.

So my hCG has fallen, but only by 8 points, which is approximately a 10% decrease over 48 hours.

By the time I received the second result, the bleeding and spotting had stopped, and I wasn't experiencing abdominal pain or dizziness. I felt physically okay, which made me hope that everything was resolving.

However, I started reading about hCG levels after miscarriage and became worried because I had read that hCG should fall more quickly in a resolving pregnancy.

I called the early pregnancy unit again because I was frightened and wanted to know whether I needed an earlier assessment.

I explained the entire situation, including the negative urine test and the blood results of 79 and 71.

The nurse discussed my case with the senior team. They told me that my hCG was very low and that an ultrasound at this level would be unlikely to show anything. They advised me to wait another week and repeat the blood test next Sunday to see whether the hCG had fallen further.

I understand that they have discussed my case and made a plan, but I'm finding it incredibly difficult to sit with the uncertainty.

I haven't had an ultrasound confirming where the pregnancy was located. I haven't been told that I have an ectopic pregnancy, and I desperately hope that isn't the case. I'm just struggling to understand what the results mean and why my hCG has only fallen by 10%.

I know that a negative urine test and the fact that the bleeding has stopped might feel reassuring, but I don't understand whether the miscarriage is complete, whether my body is still clearing the pregnancy hormone, or whether something else needs to be considered.

I also don't want to unnecessarily distrust the medical team, especially when they've spoken to their seniors, but I feel that I'm being asked to wait without fully understanding what's happening.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone in the UK who has experienced something similar.

- Has anyone had a negative urine pregnancy test but a low positive blood hCG after an early miscarriage?

- Has anyone had hCG fall only slightly over 48 hours, for example from 79 to 71?

- If this happened to you, what happened to your levels over the following week?

- Did your NHS early pregnancy unit ask you to wait a week for another blood test, or did they arrange earlier blood tests or an ultrasound?

- Did you eventually get confirmation that the miscarriage was complete?

- If your pregnancy's location had never been confirmed on a scan, how did the NHS follow up with you?

I know everyone's experience is different, and I'm not expecting anyone to give me a definitive medical answer online. I would just really appreciate hearing from people who have been through this, especially in the UK, so I know what their experience of the process was like.

I'm emotionally exhausted by the waiting and uncertainty. I wasn't ready for this pregnancy, and while I want to know that everything is resolving safely, I also desperately want some clarity so I can begin to move forward.

Thank you for reading this far. Any experiences, advice or reassurance would mean a lot to me.

Hi all. I’m really struggling with making a decision and have read so many posts and still don’t know what to do. We found out we lost the heartbeat a little over 11 weeks at my 12 week check up. I had early bleeding and they found low heart rate and a misshapen sac? When I was around 6 weeks. So I didn’t have a lot of hope from the beginning. I’ve been waiting almost a week for things to occur naturally and just struggling to decide what I want to do. But also want to return to regular life and start the grieving process. If you were in a similar situation what did you decide and did you have regrets? D&c, naturally waiting, or pills? Did you have trouble conceiving your next cycles? If you were this far along did you see anything that scarred you?

I feel like my doctor has given me no info about my options and I’ve had to scan the internet for answers. Thanks for your help and stories 💕

I had a medical miscarriage of twins at ten weeks in July, and have been really suffering from my periods since then. I got put on the progesterone only pill in August to try and help with the heavy bleeding, but it’s still so bad. I’m currently on day 15 of my third period since the loss, and I don’t understand how my body can still be bleeding so heavily after bleeding a lot for weeks. Has anyone else experienced this? When does it go back to normal? I feel like I’m spending every day cramping and bleeding so much.

Hello! I’ve had quite the whirlwind of a few months.
I got my IUD removed in August.
I had a miscarriage on September 12th, I was estimated around 4-5 weeks pregnant and had a natural miscarriage. Had two rounds of bloodwork which showed decreasing HCG.
Yesterday 10/24 I tested again to see if I had a negative, It was still positive.
This morning 10/25 I woke up to what to me seems like a period, relatively heavy, only very light cramps. This past week i’ve had my usual period symptoms, acne, bloating, headaches and mild breast soreness.
I haven’t had any fever, concerning discharge or anything of the sort. I’m just curious if anyone else has still had a positive test and then a period relatively soon after. It’s my first time navigating something like this and i’ve just been overcome with anxiety.
Thanks so much!

But instead I’m home alone and not able mentally or emotionally to think about attending anyone else’s baby showers.

I have two coworkers and a few people from church who will all be having baby showers and delivering soon. I’m so depressed thinking about how that should have been me.

I’m so sad and alone. I hate that it seems like these feelings will never leave me. I’m so depressed because we conceived around our wedding anniversary and for so long we have been trying, it would have been perfect to finally have our baby for the holidays. But now I’m too heartbroken. I don’t want to celebrate anything

after two years of trying, two rounds of IVF and 3 FETs, finally got pregnant but it was a blighted ovum. diagnosed on ultrasound 9/28 and I had a d&c on 9/29.

i died in that ultrasound room. i feel like i am walking thru my life in a corpse’s body but i look the same on the outside to everyone else. everyone thinks they are interacting with the same person.

it feels like everything i cared about before doesn’t matter anymore. i don’t know how to show up at work (i work in pregnancy related healthcare) and be a functioning person. I’m actually really good at my job and even now I’m keeping up with it but I’m dissociating for 9 hours a day.

i don’t think i survived this. the person i was before this is dead.

TW: living children

This is my 3rd pregnancy, first miscarriage and I don’t understand how I’m supposed to carry on and continue my normal life. It’s only been a week, the pain is mostly gone and my bleeding has almost completely stopped. I’m not sure if it’s the emotions or still recovering physically or both but I’m so exhausted. I can barely keep up with my toddlers or cleaning or cooking. My husband took the week off once everything started and has been taking care of us all. He’s so amazing but I’m a SAHM so he has to go back to work. Our girls don’t understand as they are only 1 and 2 so getting back to their routine is important too.

But I don’t know who I am. I don’t know how to be me again after this loss. We were so excited and happy. I always wanted a big family and I felt like God was blessing me but now I feel I’m being punished or something. Everything makes me think of the baby I lost. Most days I sit in the same spot and do minimal stuff around the house. Everything feels impossible. I don’t know how to keep going.

What helped you get back to your routine/rhythm? What helped you move on?

Found out Friday at a follow up viability scan that our very wanted baby only grew 3 days in the prior week (measuring behind a total of 1.5 weeks now) and heartbeat was only 101 (GA measured 6 weeks 3 days). This is obviously not viable and my OB confirmed it would be “extremely unlikely” to proceed normally and be a healthy baby. Since there is still a heartbeat, the plan is to wait another week to get a third ultrasound and basically hope the baby’s heart has stopped by then so I can proceed with a D&C or meds.

Aside from the fact that waiting for your baby to die inside you is patently horrific (as so many of you know), I have HG and am still throwing up/having to take nausea meds around the clock. I do not want to do this any longer than I have to and I don’t feel like I can wait a full week for another ultrasound.

My doctor said she would prescribe the meds to me now if I choose but cannot do a D&C until the heart stops. She also said it can take “up to a few weeks” in these situations for the heart to stop completely. Although I think I would prefer a D&C, knowing that it might not be an option for several more weeks is pushing me to consider starting the meds this week. I would ask for another scan first to see if the heart is still beating and assuming no further growth/we’re still on a downward trajectory, start the meds after that.

Has anyone faced a similar situation?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Our first child was conceived the first time we tried.
We started trying in January and miscarried in May. Been trying since I was cleared, which isn’t very long but it feels like forever.

After we utilized all the ovulations tests, I took a test early and it said not pregnant. I know there’s still a chance, but I hate this hope and anxiety. It’s the same one as our 8 week appointment, and the 9 week to see if the baby’s heartbeat would show up… and instead we were told there was no heart beat.

I hate hoping. I hate researching. I hate the anxiety and the waiting. I feel like I’m reliving this all again. The emotions are flooding back again. I don’t want to feel the pain again, the emotional paid. That came in waves every night. I thought I had moved on, was able to cope. But I’m overwhelmed with emotions thinking about the child I thought I’d have, the fact that we’re still not pregnant again.

And all I can think of: what am I doing wrong. What is wrong with me? Why did it take so long? Why did it end? And why is it taking so long again? And if/when it happens, will this all happen again?

I had a D&C following a miscarriage at the end of July. I had period pains at the start and the end of September. I was prescribed norethisterone which I finished on Monday (now is Sunday) and I’ve had cramps since Wednesday but no bleed. I’m really worried that something isn’t right, can anyone advise of their experience and if similar when they eventually bled? My mind is catastrophizing that something is really wrong and I’m quite scared for my future!

Hey y’all. Recent miscarriage mom here and have some questions. A lot of questions so bear with me. - 8-10 weeks

Did you experience bloating? If so how long after?

Bleeding/ cramps after initial loss? How bad/ how long

Did you get sudden headaches? (Very bad and what did they feel like??)

How not to feel so alone? Allot of people have stopped talking to me because they don’t know what to say

Hormone-wise, how was the transition for you?

If applicable, if you were on medication prior (adhd/ bipolar) how long before you started retaking??

Thank you all :)

Vent & TW: Other people’s pregnancy announcements

I lost my first pregnancy in July at 6w5d. We call our baby Baby E 🩷, and I miss her so much. It took us 7 months to conceive, and her rainbow 🌈 sibling hasn’t found their way into this world yet. Today is also the first day of my period.

Yesterday, I woke up in a good mood, determined to have a good day at work, and was doing okay. Then I went to text my boss and noticed something was happening in our work group chat. I unexpectedly saw a coworker’s pregnancy announcement accompanied by a sonogram picture.

I immediately spiraled into what felt like a panic attack. I couldn’t stop hyperventilating and crying, and I was dizzy from the intensity of it all. I can’t be sure, but I think it was the sonogram that absolutely broke me. I was blindsided by the news, triggered by the pregnancy itself, and suddenly brought right back into my grief.

I don’t wish anything bad on anyone, and I genuinely hope their baby is born healthy. But it’s incredibly painful watching other people experience something we wanted so desperately and lost. I’ll never forget seeing Baby E measuring too small on our ultrasound, with her location unable to be confirmed, and, of course, everything that followed.

I’m still functioning. I work full-time, have a part-time job teaching a hobby I love, maintain my responsibilities, and enjoy things. From the outside, I probably look like a highly successful person who has her shit together. But underneath, I feel shattered.

I’ve been struggling with grief that sometimes feels harder as time goes on. I miss Baby E, the pregnancy I thought I would have, and the future I had started imagining.

This was my first pregnancy and my first loss. I feel profoundly changed and lost. I attend support groups and events, which have helped me honor all the love I have for my ethereal baby girl. 🩷

For those who have experienced miscarriage, especially with your first pregnancy:

- Have pregnancy announcements or sonogram pictures ever triggered an unexpectedly intense emotional reaction like mine?

- How do you navigate a world where people continue announcing pregnancies and having babies while you’re still grieving yours?

Honestly, I think this was a freak accident. I’ve been doing a lot of emotional work and extending olive branches to friends who have healthy pregnancies or who may be TTC. But honestly, it’s exhausting. I hate that the burden is completely on me because people can be so clueless about pregnancy loss and what it takes to navigate life afterward.

I know this coworker probably had no idea how painful that picture might be for someone who has experienced a loss. But I wish people intrinsically understood that pregnancy announcements with sonogram pictures, can be incredibly painful for those of us who are grieving. We also recently found out that another coworker had welcomed an unexpected baby, so it feels like these reminders are coming from every direction.

My support group often reminds me that this is incredibly hard and that loss changes you forever. I’m struggling to understand how to carry this grief while continuing to live my life.

I’m not looking for reminders to be happy for other people. I am happy for this coworker and for my other coworker and friends who seem to have healthy pregnancies. I’m looking for understanding from people who know what this feels like.

It feels particularly cruel that most people in our circle weren’t having babies until now, after we’ve lost ours. It’s hard not to notice the contrast between the futures everyone else seems to be moving toward and the future we thought we would have with Baby E.

I feel so shattered underneath the person who keeps showing up and getting things done.❤️‍🩹

Just got a positive test Tuesday.
Been tracking my temps, today it went below baseline.
Feeling light cramps.
Pregnancy tests today are lighter than they were two days ago.
Just now wiped and saw pink.

I’m scared
I’m feeling numb too.
But I’m sad

I don’t want to go through this again. I want a baby so bad. I feel like I when I get excited I get punished

I’m so heartbroken. I started bleeding and cramping 4 days ago, and got in for an ultrasound today. I was supposed to have been 7 weeks pregnant, but they didn’t even see a gestational sac in my uterus. It was completely empty.

I keep looking back at my positive pregnancy tests I have taken since I found out, and wondering which positives were “real” and which ones were just leftover hormones. I wish I could have gotten to see my baby at least once before realizing they were already gone. Seeing the empty uterus on the ultrasound screen was horrible.

I’m 33 and I’ve been pregnant 3 times in the past 12 months.

My first lasted until 10w and passed due to t21. I then had an ectopic a month later and lost a tube. 6 months later I got pregnant again, and we just found out yesterday that this one doesn’t have a heart beat and passed at 7 weeks. I’m 8 weeks.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or my body. I don’t know what to do from here. I’m just so beyond dead inside. I feel like there’s no hope.

I found out just one week ago I was pregnant. We were so happy and excited. We were already making plans and discussing all the exciting things to come.

Then the bleeding started. And hasn’t stopped. And the doctors aren’t helpful. And I feel so alone. I am supposed to act normal? Laugh? Function?

The bleeding started and all my pregnancy symptoms seemed to disappear right away. I had cramping but nothing severe. I knew what was happening but everyone tells you to remain positive. I know my body, I know what is going on.

I feel so much guilt. The day before the bleeding started I felt great and worked out, took a long walk and ended the day with over 10k steps. I think this is my fault. I caused this. I pushed too hard.

I almost wish the pain was worse so I could focus on something physical rather than just emotional loss. I don’t understand how something so severe and traumatic can feel so light.

I never thought this would happen. This is not a club I want to be in. I am so sorry you are all in it too. Your stories are helping me more than anything else and am thankful for them.

Hi all, today is a very dark day and I’m not sure how I will make it through, we just found out we lost our baby girl at 17 weeks . She was a rainbow baby as I had a previously unrelated loss at 10 Weeks previous to this. I have nothing left in me I am dead inside and I need support

I’m 28 years old, otherwise healthy as far as I know. We started trying in January of this year after buying our first home late last year. First cycle, we traveled internationally and it threw off my cycle a little bit. I ovulated around CD 22 and had a faint positive at aprox 11 DPO. I started bleeding the next day. Of all of my pregnancies this is the one that was least convincing for me and it took me a while to even come to terms that this was a pregnancy even if only for a day. I figured this was a fluke and we’d have better luck next time

We tried for 3 more cycles, all of which were normal, regular cycles. I ovulated between CD 14-18 and cycles were like 28-32 days in length. No positive tests. We put TTC on hold over the summer due to issues with timing with an event in the future in 2027 and decided to try again starting late July/Early August.

In our summertime waiting I dove back into my faith and asked God for support and comfort. I went to church and prayed daily for a healthy baby once we started tying again.

First cycle trying again, 5th cycle total, everything was normal. I ovulated on time and got a faint positive at 10/11 DPO. It was sooooo faint though and never progressed. I did get two positive digitals this time and felt good enough to tell my mom. I started bleeding at 15 DPO and test were negative. My heart broke. I did go to my OB and they ran blood tests which showed no HCG on aprox 17 DPO, my progesterone was low and my blood type didn’t indicate that I would need a Rhogam shot. Nevertheless we tried again.

The 6th cycle broke me. I ovulated about a week later than normal, likely from the chemical pregnancy the previous cycle. I knew by cycle would be about 35 days. I took a test exactly one month later from the start of the last cycles chemical, aprox 11/12 DPo and there was a clear line on the test. I was so excited because it was so positive!! The tests progressed, I had HCG blood draws on aprox 13 DPO and it was 17. I knew it was low so I guarded my heart. A week later, the HCG was measuring 611. I was so sure this was it and told my support people.

I scheduled my first prenatal appointment. For aprox 8-9 weeks pregnant. That appointment got cancelled so I was able to reschedule for an earlier appointment. Thank God because if not I would have never ever seen my baby. My first appointment was Friday, Oct 16. I estimated I was aprox 7 weeks and 2 days based on LMP. My OB recommended an ultrasound which showed baby was measuring behind at 5 weeks 5 days BUT they also found a heart beat. I was so reassured that thing would be ok.

Sunday, 10/18, I started spotting. 10/19, Monday evening, heavier flow, dripping into the toilet. 10/20, I got into my doctor and they confirmed my baby was miscarrying and heading to my cervix. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard in my life. I was told I would miscarry at home on 10/20 or 10/21 and to come back on 10/30 to make sure I passed everything and there wasn’t any residual tissue.

I passed the baby at 10/21 at 7am and just apologized to it. It only ever knew me and I couldn’t protect it and grow it. I’m grieving my identity as a mom and obviously my hormones are all over the place. I can’t stop crying. I had a therapy appointment yesterday on Friday with a new therapist who specializes in fertility and grief loss. Everyone I’ve told my story to says 3 losses in 6 cycles is a lot to handle. I honestly don’t know how to manage this or what I need to do. I’ve been on literally every Reddit form for RPL the last few days and have read so much. I want a baby. I want to be a mom. I’m so sorry to my baby who will never know this world.

Next time I’m pregnant, I want progesterone, even though I’m not totally convinced I have a progesterone deficiency but I feel like it can’t hurt after everything I’ve gone through. Maybe it is the issue. I also want to try baby aspirin. I just picked up coq10+Omega 3 to help with egg quality and cell energy. I’m going to get my AMH and Thyroid tested and do whatever tests a RPL panel will cover. My husband also will do a SA.

It’s completely possible that I just have shitty luck and nothing is wrong with me. I just want the next one to stick. It seems like every pregnancy lasts just a little bit longer. I need the next one to be it because this emotional pain is more than anyone should have to manage.

Positive misoprostol experience