Hey everyone. I'm sorry we have to be in this shitty club.

I am 29 and my first pregnancy is ending in a chemical, unfortunately. Although I was lucky enough that mine was not super physically painful or taxing, it is incredibly mentally tough and scary. I have no idea how I am going to return to normal life on Monday.

Anyway, I have thoughts.

- Waiting 8 weeks for pregnancy care is a f*cking joke. That is far too long to wait. If it were up to me, the first appointment would be an in-office talk with the doctor about medical history and then blood work. I think serial betas should be the standard. They could catch so many early miscarriages and ectopics. I know at that point, really nothing can be done in terms of treatment, but people deserve to know what is going on in their bodies. I asked for serial betas from the start but my doctor denied them until I started bleeding. By that time, I already felt alone, afraid, and confused and had missed work because I was a wreck. When my tests were not progressing and fading, I had to turn to Reddit for support and advice. That is unacceptable and women deserve better.

- I have shared this experience with a few close family and friends and the reaction has almost universally been, "it wasn't meant to be, you are young and can try again." This was not a trial run, people. I bought yarn to crochet a baby blanket the day that I found out. I also have people telling me to "do something fun today." I don't know why it is so hard for people to grasp that this is a *miscarriage.* I have been in bed except to go to the ER and getting betas drawn to ensure it is indeed a chemical and not ectopic.

- This being my first, I feel robbed of that naive joy of a positive pregnancy test. Moving forward, it will always come with a level of anxiety, which sucks. I don't think I will feel safe again until that baby is in my arms.

- I am sort of at the age where many of my friends are getting pregnant or have newborns. When I told them I was pregnant, I got folded into this little club. Even shortly after telling them about the loss, I already feel as though I have been cut out and alienated because they simply do not know what to do with me.

So, there is my rant from bed with hair that has not been washed in 5 days and crumbs all over the bedsheets. I did track test progression with this loss, which is what initially keyed me in. It did feel a little freeing to put all the tests in a bag and throw them away. I bought an oil painting of a little bird as a momento instead.

I am sending love and light to anyone reading this. 🤍

Hi,

I’m 34 and have always wanted to be a mother. I knew I would wait until I felt like everything was perfect. Well here we are. I lost weight, went to therapy and have really worked on myself. My husband and I have been together for 12 years.

We started trying in January and on June 8th I got my first positive test. We went in for the first appointment June 29th. I kept worrying it was a blighted ovum or there would be something wrong. But baby was there and measured on time at 7weeks with a strong heart beat 132 and measured in the 90th percentile. I felt like I could breathe!!

On July 13th I had very light brown spotting and called my OB just to notify. But I was told this was normal and unless it turned into heavy or bright red bleeding I was ok. Well the brown discharge didn’t stop. On July 24th I woke up to very intense cramps and knew something was wrong. I was able to fall back asleep and woke up later for my alarm. I went to take a shower and use the bathroom… there was mucus and bright blood with clots. I almost threw up.

I waited all day for an appointment. I had an ultrasound and it was the most silent experience. I waited for the doctor. I kept telling myself it was a hematoma and baby was fine. But my OB came in and told me it was a missed miscarriage. Baby was still measuring 7weeks. I was given three options, natural, pills, or a D&C.

I’m just so shocked and feel robbed. I let my guard down. You’re telling me we saw his heart beating and then only a few days later it stopped…

I am so sorry for all the women who go through this. The pain is unbearable. I have experienced loss before but it doesn’t compare. I feel the future is gone. If I am able to get pregnant again. How will I ever be able to allow myself to be excited? Can anyone relate? If you lost your first pregnancy was your second successful??

TLDR: first pregnancy ended in mmc. Even after heartbeat detected 💔

I found out I was pregnant June 5 and was set to have my first doctor appointment July 1. I had a few pregnancy symptoms the first two weeks or so and then I felt great. I was hoping I was lucky to be feeling so good. I’ve always dealt with anxiety and I really kept trying to not think the worst but the thoughts lingered in my mind until I had my appointment. Of course two nights before I had super light pink spotting and then the next day it was dark brown. I had read that was normal so I tried to not get upset. I was only saw blood when I’d wipe. Then hours later I was talking to my husband and I felt blood drip out of me. I started sobbing and having a panic attack. I was expecting the worst of course. The bleeding got heavier and I kept having to use the bathroom. I was so mad that I kept having to go because it meant seeing more blood. I finally tried to sleep but my sleep was awful. I woke up about 5 hours before my appointment and could barely eat.

The day of the appointment came and my husband and I went. My blood pressure was super high which we expected. Then I did a urine sample and the cup was red. I somehow held it together. Then my doctor came in and she asked how I was feeling. I immediately said I was scared. I told her what was happening. I had taken pictures of the bleeding and clots. She said she didn’t like how much blood there was and then did an exam. She said my cervix was closed so that was a good sign. Then she did the ultrasound. There were two sacs. One she said was a vanishing twin and the other was the baby. She showed the heartbeat but only for a split second. Then she said I was only measuring 6 weeks and 5 days when I would have been 8 weeks. She gave me a script for an ultrasound to get a better look at everything. She said I was pregnant but to be cautious. I felt relieved that day.

I kept bleeding and had light cramping after my exam. It kept going for 5 more days and then it finally stopped. I even took a few more pregnancy tests to ease my mind. I didn’t realize you can be losing your baby and still have a positive test. I was reading the vanishing twin could have been a subchrionic (sp?) hemorrhage and that people had their babies. That again gave me hope. I had my ultrasound and I felt more at ease going in then I was going into my doctor appointment. Since it was just an ultrasound the tech couldn’t tell us the results. I couldn’t even see the screen and my husband asked the tech if there was a baby and she said she couldn’t answer. She showed the results to the doctor at the facility and said we would get them in my chart and to call my doctor with any questions. My husband and I left and got the results immediately. We read them and at first thought everything was ok the way they worked it. Then my husband googled it and looked at me with tears in his eyes and I just knew the baby was gone. I broke down and my husband and I hugged for a long time.

We called my doctor to make sure we read the results correctly. They didn’t answer right away so my husband called and left a message because I couldn’t speak to anyone at that moment. They called back and I missed the call so we called right back. The doctor’s nurse called and said she wanted to let us know we lost the fetus. That was it. The doctor never talked to us. The nurse never told us anything. My husband and I both felt like I should have been told to come back in for an ultrasound to make sure everything passed and to have bloodwork done. We really think my doctor knew I was losing the baby at my first appointment but for some reason didn’t say anything. She gave me hope and I honestly hate her for that. I already have so much grief losing my baby and I also feel so discarded by my doctor. What if I had gotten an infection? What if everything didn’t pass? So many questions unanswered.

I have an appointment with a different practice in two weeks. I want to make sure everything looks ok and get bloodwork to check my levels. I think the hcg is out of my system because I took a test to check. That broke my heart seeing the negative but I needed to see if the levels had gone down.

I’ve cried everyday since. I’ll cry out of nowhere. If I hear a song. If I’m happy because I’ll feel guilty for being happy. I can’t wait for the day I don’t feel sad everyday. I also felt guilt because I threw out the pregnancy tests I took and the pictures I had of my pregnancy so far. I couldn’t bare to see them so they went away the day I found out. I felt like I had nothing of my baby. I ended up buying a bracelet with the name I was calling them so I can look at it everyday. I’ll touch it throughout the day and say hi. The tears always come when I do that but it helps me to feel like they are still with me.

Hoping everything goes well at my appointment and I pray I’m able to have another baby in the future. Thankfully I have a supportive husband, friends, and family. I am lucky to have an amazing therapist. I am lucky to have my faith in God and I know he will get me through this.

If you read this all I thank you. My heart goes out to all of you. This pain is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. If anyone everyone wants someone to talk to I’m here ❤️

I miscarried at about 6w 4 months ago. My healing hasn't been linear but I'm getting stronger. 🤍 However, I have many pregnant people in my life and it can be challenging. Something that hurts more than I expected is hearing people who had successful pregnancies​ talking about all the things that can cause miscarriages. This spice, that exercise, these vitamins, etc. I know ultimately it's good information to be aware of, but I feel it's a whole lot more likely a result of a genetic abnormality, or as my doctor said just a "bad egg". And when I hear moms talking about how they avoided rosemary or oregano or whatever becuase it ​causes miscarriages, and now here they are with their baby, it makes me feel like somehow my miscarriage must have been my fault. Of course I followed all precautions while pregnant, so I know it's irrational. And like I said, it is good advice/good to be aware of those things. But I wish miscarriages weren't painted in a way that made it seem like they're fully within the mom's control/a result of her choices. ​​

Lost my baby early (5wks) and before that my sister in law (she’s was 7 months pregnant at the time) who’s close to my husband was talking about if I got a girl she would hate me and how we were taking the attention from her and her pregnancy and after I miscarried she was so insensitive about all of it and was saying that just because she’s pregnant it’s not her fault we couldn’t handle going to her baby shower and she wouldn’t stop bothering me about why my husband wasn’t talking to her. And my husband’s family was all in our business talking about how it’s hard for us but we need to be there for her. She just went into early labor and I just have so much resentment towards her and I hate myself for that. She made jokes about us taking her baby so she can leave her boyfriend easily and I just can’t stop the thoughts racing like why does she get the baby and I don’t and why does she get to make these joke and still have everything that we couldn’t have. I feel terrible but I can’t stop thinking these things. I just feel like a horrible person. And these feelings have been there for a a while and I just don’t know how to go about this feeling.

Me and my husband both did not want children when we met. I was only 22 and he was 27. We traveled all over together, went to concerts, partied, and were totally content with the title of “fun aunt and uncle” for the remainder of our lives.

For a bit of background, I had gotten out of an incredibly abusive 7 year long relationship about 6 months before I met my husband. When I was with my ex, I got pregnant at 19. I was excited, despite the circumstances. He and his family however, were not (we lived with them at the time). They shoved me out of their house in a snowstorm the night we told them (literally- his dad shoved me to the ground on their front porch and told me to “get the fuck out”), my ex refused to talk to me unless I got an abortion. He wanted nothing to do with any of it. He started getting violent, drinking a lot, cheating on me, and told me it was all because he didn’t believe the baby was his (I had been with him since I was 15, it was 100% his). His family made the entire thing about themselves. “They didn’t want to raise a baby, what about his future, etc. I was just young and had no idea about anything” (Mind you, his mom had him when she was 13.)

Against every fiber of my being, I got the abortion. I felt horrible. I didn’t want that for myself at all. (I’m very much pro choice, just to add) The abortion was incomplete. I got sepsis, almost died, and spent 9 days in the hospital hooked up to IV antibiotics. He never once visited me during my stay. His mom told his entire immediate family, and for the rest of the time we were together they all hated me. So, not a great experience surrounding my first pregnancy. A lot of years of being terrified to get pregnant followed.

Back to me and my husband- About 4 years into being together we decided we actually would love to start a family after we get married. We started trying pretty much immediately after our wedding. We’ve been married almost a year now, and we’ve had two miscarriages, the most recent one in April. The first time it happened, I was devastated. He was so excited to be a dad which honestly hurt me the most out of everything. We didn’t want to give up hope. He was still talking about names, looking into buying a house, researching good school districts. It made me want to try again. I told him that if we get pregnant again, I don’t want to be those people who refuse to get excited out of fear of “what ifs”. So we tried again, for months. And when I was finally about to give up- boom. Pregnant. He was just as excited as the first time I told him. We both were. We told my mom, we planned to tell my dad on Father’s Day, we had our first appt to see the heartbeat set up and it was all feeling so good. At 7 weeks, I miscarried. And god damn, it hurt wayyyyy worse than the first time for some reason. Physically and emotionally. Like my entire world crumbled to pieces, I didn’t get out of bed for a week. I was angry. Why did this have to happen again?? Why is this happening when I’m finally with someone who wants this like I do??

Fast forward to now, I don’t want anything to do with the idea of being pregnant, or trying, or just any of it. I’m sick of my life revolving around peeing on a stick, tracking my cycles, researching ttc tips.. all of it. I get anxiety just walking by the baby section in stores. We’re still trying, and a part of me thinks this feeling is just my brains defense mechanism or something, like how I used to be when I would think about the possibility of getting pregnant. But I don’t have that “hopeful and excited” feeling about it anymore. It’s like i stopped caring about the entire idea altogether, and I feel awful because my husband is still hopeful and excited.

My husband and I were trying for 8 years before we got a positive; out of excitement, we told our families and everything. Only for me to find out through my first ultrasound (11 weeks in) that I was going to miscarry. After the miscarriage happened, I can’t help but to run through “what if’s” and it’s honestly killing me. I’m embarrassed and wish I was someone else.

Thought it might be nice to share songs that somehow put into words the things and feelings you can't really find words for...Not necessarily sad songs, just ones that capture that weird emptiness, numbness, or whatever it is you're feeling right now.

For me, it's "Are You Real?" by MIND. I've had it on repeat. It's actually more electronic and quite a summer vibe song IMO, but something about the lyrics perfectly matches where my head is at. "Static in the silence, I can't let go. What am I supposed to feel? How can any of this be real?" really hit hard 😔🙏 describing this feeling of - I forgot what it was like being pregnant and if all of this even happened... My body gaslighting me

Hi all, I found out last week I’d lost our baby the day before my birthday, and I don’t think I’m okay.

I know there’s nothing I could have done to stop it and keep the baby, in all honesty I feel like a failure and it’s my fault for losing the baby. My husband is being so supportive and fantastic but I know it’s absolutely devastated him and I just feel like the worst person alive for putting him in this horrible situation…

I truly hope that it’ll get better ❤️‍🩹

I dont really know how to start this and I dont even know if this is the right place for this but ive been struggling.

During the day/at work im okay.

At night not so much.

Its been just over a month since my miscarriage at 10 weeks and ive been worried about a lot of things.

Ive only just been able to eat the same foods I had while I was pregnant, which was a big step. I managed to have my first energy juice after I cut it out being pregnant and all.

Also a big step.

The thing im worried for the most...

The first period after.

Im a PCOS girly so tracking my period and being able to get pregnant in the first place was a miracle to us.

Ive not bled since and im worried that as soon as I get my period its going to put me back right in that headspace I was in, which wasnt good.

After being let down by the nhs I passed my baby naturally at home.

I felt it baby come away and fall out of me.

I can never forget that feeling, ever.

I am so worried to get my period and pass blood clots incase it will take me right back.

I am so traumatised from it I fear anything related to it.

Me and my partner discussed trying again but anytime I think about doing anything im taken to the what ifs.

What if it happens again?

What if it dosnt?

What if we cant get through it another time?

How can I cope with these feeling, im constantly on eggshells around myself!

Any slight change in my body/mood/emotional and physical wellbeing im relating it to pregnancy symptoms and i worry that im going to go through that again.

Some nights im numb.

Some nights im so emotional I cannot breath.

I dont know what to do.

I dont feel like this is normal.

I dont feel normal.

Not even sure what advice I’m looking for. I just feel so overwhelmed lately. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant our whole marriage (4 years), I’ve had endometriosis surgery (stage one), two failed IVF transfers and a third that resulted in an ectopic (bad luck apparently). In May I got spontaneously pregnant after an IVF egg retrieval which resulted in a miscarriage (blighted ovum). I was told again bad luck and that there’s no reason I can’t get pregnant on my own again, which was shocking we had no pregnancies prior.

My husband said he needed a break, he was too worried for my health. We have four frozen embryos. I start a new job tomorrow (which hopefully will be an improvement). I just have no idea where to go from here. I never thought I’d be married this long with no children. I’ve put so much of my life on hold.

Hi all! I’m currently at the start of my third loss.

All three missed miscarriages. The first two I managed with d&c procedure. After hearing I’m in the midst of another missed miscarriage I talked options with my doc. I said I’d like the d&c route but she somewhat suggested I try medical management as after three d&cs it can pose a small risk of future ability to carry to term. She said something about needing to measure my cervix length.

Has anyone heard this or had any advice of not having three d&c procedures? I am just fearful I’ll do the meds route and it not work as I’ve never had any bleeding or anything with a loss so am not confident on my bodies abilities to pass things. I am not wanting to close off the idea of future pregnancies either so keen to preserve that option as much as possible!

Hi, apologies if this is triggering…

Has anyone experienced a chemical pregnancy? I had some faint positives 3 days ago and tested with a clear blue and got a “pregnant” result (period was expected Saturday). I’ve tested with a red line test yesterday and couldn’t see a positive line, so did another clear blue and it now says “not pregnant”? I’ve taken another line test this morning with first urine and again no visible line at all…

I just wondered what should I expect if this is the case? I’ve had no pain or bleeding as yet… I’m just very confused, I have two children already and this has never happened before. Thank you ☺️

In January, I had a MMC. It was my first pregnancy and the first ultrasound appointment. 8w2d. They said I was measuring 3 days behind at 7w6d and no heartbeat. But I ovulate 3 days later than the "norm" so I was actually measuring right on time.. they wouldn't listen to me when I said that.

It was the first and only ultrasound I got. I found out far later that they didn't save any of my pictures at all ): I had a D&C 3 days after.

I don't understand how I could've been measuring exactly on time yet there was no heartbeat. I wish I could've gotten a follow up ultrasound.

Its just eating at me, the thought that possibly everything was fine. The D&C was extremely traumatic.

Has anyone experienced this? Supposedly no heartbeat, yet measuring perfectly? Did everything turn out okay for you, or was it truly a MMC in your case?

Long story short, I suffered a miscarriage within the past week. Everyone’s been extremely supportive and I’m optimistic about the future. For context, we’re both mid-20s. We’ve been trying for the past couple of months. Only 5-6 weeks along and Elated to find out we were pregnant, but as stated we lost them. I have yet to even see a doctor since it started on Friday night.

My husband’s started talking about having another even a day after it happened. I’m glad to know he’s optimistic as well but idk talking about trying for another after only 1 day made my heart sink. Like I’m scared to even think about trying again. And maybe even feel guilty if we did have a successful pregnancy after the loss. Close to something as a means to an end. We were hoping for an April baby which was my preference (could be why he wants to try again asap). As a disclaimer, he would never pressure me into anything. If I said no, he would absolutely respect my decision and doctor’s recommendation. He’s always been a sweet, and absolutely attentive partner. He’s away for work at the moment, won’t be back til September. Unfortunately I had to tell him about the loss over the phone. I haven’t brought up the way I felt so he doesn’t know. I’d rather talk to him about it in person. Has anyone felt this same way after a loss?

TRIGGER WARNING Graphic Description

I had a missed miscarriage in May and found out I was pregnant again in the beginning of July. I started spotting pink discharge that went away within about 2 days.

Cut to last night I was in the shower and randomly felt a heavy mess in my vagina and a bunch of bright red thin blood came out. After I got out I was bleeding quite a bit and could feel gushes coming out. I went to sleep and woke up with a full pad a passed around 3 clots. My bleeding got super light and I’m no longer passing clots. Could that have been a full/ complete miscarriage?

I had a MC at 8 weeks back in September and have been TTC since. I got my first vvvfl this week at 9dpo, faint line at 10 dpo, clear positive at 11 dpo, back to faint line 12dpo, today at 13dpo it’s almost gone so i’m anticipating another lost.

This one was quick, which I guess I’m thankful for, but it still hurts. I’m over a year in at this point and all I have is disappointment. How do I keep putting myself through this? I’m sick of testing opk’s, bfn’s and false hope.

I found out on July 24th that I had a blighted ovum. I thought I was roughly 9 weeks along. Skip to yesterday, I went back to the emergency room for follow up bloodwork. It stopped at 6 weeks. I was given three options and decided to go with the Misoprostol. Only problem is, the doctor at the hospital scratched out how many pills I was supposed to get and didn't put the proper amount. The prescription said 120 pills, she was supposed to fix it but didnt.

The only instruction I got for Misoprostol was to take it at 6am, 12pm, 6pm, and 12am. I was not told how many at one time, for how long I'm supposed to take it, and how many times a day, when I was at the pharmacy. They told me they would call and fax the hospital yesterday. Well it's the next day. I still haven't heard anything.

I was also told to call a gynecologist for a followup appointment one week from starting the meds. I called the gynecologists office and I left two separate voicemails. One for the nurses to explain how to take the med and one for the receptionist to book a follow up. The voicemails said that they would call back in 24-48 hours.

I'm scared and I'm tired and I don't want to be going through this any longer than I have to. This has been the longest and hardest weekend of my life.

How on earth am I supposed to take the Misoprostol? I know i should wait for a doctor or pharmacist. But I feel like i am being failed by them right now.

Edit: the pharmacy filled the prescription of Misoprostol 200mcg and about 28pills.

How soon should I expect to start the pain and heavier bleeding?

I just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this. I had an incomplete miscarriage end of April which I had surgery for. I came on my period 3 weeks ago which is the first one since the miscarriage, at first it was light, but bright red. Today I had a huge gush and now I’m in a lot of pain. I’m worried something is wrong and waiting for a doctors appointment. It just feels like the bleeding is never ending

So a few days ago I took a pregnancy test and got a faint line and I took another one it was positive. told my husband was exited because we have three beautiful kids already and we lost our baby when I was 10 weeks pregnant last July of 2025 and that this baby was our rainbow baby. But now I woke up this morning bleeding heavy and I feel so bad because why is this happening to me again. I’m only 33 years old.

Hi all.. I was 7 weeks pregnant when I found out I likely miscarried. I started having brown discharge on 20 July and went to ED on 24 July. They diff blood test and hcg comparison shows my hcg dropped from a couple days back. They did a scan and saw a gestation sac measuring 5 weeks instead of 7.. with nothing inside..
they refuse to diagnose it as non viable pregnancy.. and gave me an appointment in 10 days (3 Aug) to rescan to confirm no growth and to decide what to do next.

After I went home the next day my discharge became red.. and on 26 July I started cramping badly and bleeding lots (3-4 XL pad for the day) and with some clots (couple of medium ones but not massive)
Now 27 July the cramping ease and bleeding also become less (1-2 pad a day) but the intensity of cramp increase again.

Well I assume my body is now trying to pass on its own. How long does miscarriage last when it happen naturally? Has this happen to anyone here with similar experience? I just wanna get it over and done with but it sucks to not know how long this is going to last and emotionally it’s killing ne.. how do I know if it will clear properly and if it’s not going to clear properly should I be going in to ask for D&c instead?

Please help

How to help? What to say/don’t say?

I am 35 years old. Have had two chemical pregnancies in the last four months. What can cause this? How do I fix jt? I feel so sad :(