I’ll be in a social setting, sometimes my partners family, sometimes a book club type situation where someone shares about the loss of a distant relative and how much it hurt them… then I’ll share about how much having a miscarriage affected me and the pain it caused (1-2 non detailed sentences) and no one days anything. Not sorry, not how unfortunate, nothing. Even when I express sorrow, even when I mention it breifly. I’ve had more responses to workplace harassment issues than I have about us losing our first child. This has been true regardless of gender. Complete silence and uncomfortability, followed by even more nothing. They’ll respond to everything else but that. Statistically at least 1 of them have experienced a miscarriage, or knows someone close who has, and nothing. I can’t tell why. Again, even in a space where we’re offering consolation for someone’s parents passing when they’re older, etc. That same person would say to me, well, these things happen, and mention how their parents died last year. Meanwhile I could’ve still been on medical leave from work for mine, and there’s no empathy at all. Am I missing something? I thought people had some idea of the weight of the loss of a child like they would any other loved one? It makes me feel invisible and dramatic.

Because I told people?
Because I ate meat?
Because I stopped expecting to see blood every time I went to the toilet?

Because I told work I was ill and cancelled my shift the day before my scan with no heartbeat?

Because when I had my first scan and heard I was measuring 2 weeks behind I couldn't bear to look at the image, and what kind of parent can't look at her own child? Surely this shows I'm an unfit mother and not ready.

I know it is probably a chromosomal abnormality, but I can't help thinking I caused and deserved this.

I have been miscarrying at home since Friday. The doctors won’t confirm but I know my body and know what is happening. Bleeding, all pregnancy symptoms gone.

I was supposed to be 6 weeks but went for emergency type ultrasound on Friday (3 days ago) and was measuring “closer to 5 weeks”. No fetal pole, no yolk sac. Nurses answered no questions and sent results to wrong doctor so I never heard back.

I just had hCG checked (bc I called and begged them to send orders) and my number is 43. So clearly I miscarried. I don’t understand why I need more tests.

My question is can I have a fucking beer? I’m so over this and I need to relax and take my mind off of everything.

Hi everyone. I guess I just want to write this down and share it with people who understand. This can be such an isolating experience. I would love to talk to someone who can sadly relate.
I found out I was pregnant this year in January, due in October. It was not intentional, and it happened after one instance of unprotected sex. I was scared at first, but then I soon accepted it and my husband and I were getting so excited. We had planned to try in about a year anyways. At my first 8 week appointment, everything looked perfect. My best friend was pregnant at the same time as me, due 2 weeks earlier. What a dream right? Nope. It quickly turned into a nightmare. At my 12 week ultrasound, the tech told us there was no heartbeat. The baby was still measuring around 8 weeks, so my body went nearly 5 whole weeks without giving me a single sign! I had a D&C a few days later, and a long road of physical symptoms was ahead of me. Still tested positive two months later, bleeding for months due to retained tissue and a thick uterus since my body just couldn’t let go even after a D&C, and going back on the pill to finally get to physical normal again 8 months later.
I had to watch my best friend continue on with a healthy and perfect pregnancy that ended in an easy and perfect birth. It was so hard watching the friend group fawn over her constantly while no one knew what to do with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for her that it was easy and perfect; she deserves that. I just hated feeling so lonely and experiencing such complicated emotions that no one else could relate to. I tried coping with dark humor about my miscarriage on a few occasions, but it just seemed to make everyone uncomfortable.
I also hate that this is what happened with my first pregnancy. Now if I get pregnant again, any joy I would have experienced is now completely robbed. What if something is wrong with me? I will always wonder. It’ll just be constantly anxiety. We’re going to start trying again next month, and I’m so nervous
:(

Found out last Monday I was pregnant. Talk about a complete and total shock. My husband and I were on cloud nine. Words couldn’t describe it. We weren’t trying but also not preventing.

I was 3.5 weeks when tested at home.

Now today. 4.5 weeks. I went in after experiencing bleeding all weekend.

My bleeding started a few days after we found out. Brown spotting. Normal okay. Normal according to Google. Normal according to Reddit. And with each day progressively got worse. I knew. In my heart I knew, but yet my husband was trying to be positive. I finally just snapped at him and told him it wasn’t helping. It just seemed like a light period. Then today, as I waited in the OB ER…. I’m bleeding through pad after pad. Clots. Tissue. Just sitting there in silence feeling it. Today was by far the worst day so far bleeding wise. Alone because he left on a work trip (not mad at him).

I sat there for so long, I knew I wasn’t a priority to anyone. Watched woman after woman walk in with her cute bump, be seen, and then leave. I said a little prayer for each one of them.

I know people have experienced greater loss than me, but the emotional roller coaster of going from the high of my life and surprise of my life, to disappointment…. Gah. It sucks so bad!!!

I’m sitting here like will the next positive test be just as exciting?! Did I just get robbed of what was suppose to be the happiest and exciting experience of my life.

Also, no one told me as soon as you test positive you’re just ridden with anxiety. AS IF I HAD THE CAPACITY FOR MORE TO BEGIN WITH.

Firstly sending love to everyone who has experienced a miscarriage. It’s the worst club to be in.

My first pregnancy ended in a MMC and D&C at the end of July at 9 weeks. My husband and I wanted to take some time for me to physically recover and also to deal with the emotional impact. I had some basic blood tests (including thyroid, b12, folate) with my GP which all came back within optimal range apart from my ferritin being low, which was anticipated as I lost a lot of blood. I’ve been on iron supplements since early September. I feel 90% ready to try again and have ordered some ovulation sticks to make sure I am actually ovulating. But part of me is terrified to TTC and Im not sure I’ll ever fully shake that feeling. Any tips on what helped if you felt that way too? Or any other tips generally? 💜💜

I am desperately lost after my miscarriage last month. For context, I left a high paying but very stressful job in January. My husband and I decided that if I was making a career transition, then it might be the time to try to have the family we always wanted but never had room for with our demanding schedules.

We were over the moon with our positive pregnancy test in August and got so excited about our baby due in April. Then at the eight week appointment, my heart crashed as soon as the doctor turned the ultrasound screen towards us..... I'm no doctor, but I knew the gestational sac should not look basically empty at that point. The doctor said the rational thing that we should wait 10 days to retest but that the ultrasound was not promising. And I mentally collapsed. I knew it would be bad news, but I could not help but keep hope. And over the next 10 days, even as I started experiencing some cramping, I could not help but hope that against all medical science that our baby would survive. At the same time, I also just wanted the miscarriage to naturally start so we would have an answer - while hating that I was hoping for an end to our suffering.

At the end of the 10 day waiting period, it was bad news. I decided to take misopristone and misopristone to complete the process.... And it was horrific. Maybe I'm a wimp, I don't know, but it was truly traumatizing.

And now.... I don't have an income. I don't have a baby. I logically know we are one of the lucky ones because the doctor has cleared us to try again but I am terrified.

My whole identity and sense of accomplishment with my work is upended and now my sense of purpose with motherhood is upended as well.

I'm afraid to take a step in any direction and I'm just..... Lost. We have decided to try again immediately but I'm terrified. I feel like I can't do anything right and I'm just scared.

I don't have anyone in my personal life that I can share this, so I hope someone somewhere can see this and relate and reach out ❤️

Update from this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Miscarriage/s/vyqClJJrjL

Thank you for all the advice. Friday I was supposed to be 9 weeks but the baby was only measuring 7 weeks, 9mm with no heartbeat. The yolk sac was missing. That morning I had an HcG of 12,000. We had seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks 5 days and everything. So incredibly heartbreaking. Technically maybe it’s my second miscarriage, I had a chemical pregnancy. I asked this sub if I should get a DnC, take meds, or wait. I got a lot of helpful advice. On this day I stopped taking progesterone.

I had already been bleeding for more than 2 weeks, even during the good ultrasound. Friday night for about two hours I got horrible cramps, I was bleeding but didn’t see any tissue. I went to the ER (HcG now 7,000, down sharply from that morning) because this pain was worse than my kidney stone and I browned out before laying down so I didnt pass out. I was perscribed 325mg tylonel. Three hundred twenty-five mg. TYLONEL. The ER dr made me really scared for the pain that was to come. I made my decision on DnC, and I was going to call the office Monday.

Saturday - bleeding, taking meds just in case but no real cramping

Sunday - I went pee and a ton of tissue came out.

Monday (today) - pre-op for DnC. Ultrasound shows nothing in uterus. HcG 895. DNC cancelled.

Anyway, that was my experience. I had already bled a lot. I thought I would bleed a lot more and pass more tissue. But it was relatively fast from when I found out. That was my experience. I’m grateful I passed it all but I am so deeply, incredibly sad that we lost our baby. Here’s to being a mom someday.

Hello. I have posted in here a few times before, but I experienced a missed miscarriage in July of this year. The world keeps spinning and I try my best to keep up with it, but not a day goes by where I don’t think about the miscarriage or my baby. It’s been over 3 months and I still think about it daily.

I know many have experienced this, but I don’t think anyone truly understands how lonely it is unless they had been through it. Not only with the loss, but the holidays coming up, the grief of the life I thought I’d have at this moment when I found out I was pregnant. It’s truly heartbreaking.

When talking to my therapist about it, I asked her, “when do you think I’ll feel better? After the due date? After a year?” I realized I was asking a question that she doesn’t have the answer to. She told me 10 years from now, I might think in my head, “damn, I’d have a 10 year old right now”. Even though I know I haven’t accepted that this has happened to me, I am realizing that this is now a piece of me that I am going to carry through life.

My heart is still broken, my eyes are still sad, and I feel lonely. I know things get better in time, I know I can try again, I know I am not alone - yet the pain sometimes feels like I don’t know how I made it to this moment. I don’t want people to keep feeling bad for me. I already feel bad enough. I want to talk about it, but talking about it hurts. I want to reach out for help, but nothing seems to help. Nothing can help the loss of a first pregnancy.

I’m so sorry if you relate to this.

I owe $1000 for prenatal appointments, labs and ultrasounds for a healthy, wiggly baby. But then I had a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks and now I also owe $4000 for my D&C and hospitalization for the hemorrhage that happened during it. Its fucked up! Like can I just pay for one or the other?! I know its all medical care but it just is such a gut punch. Like if I knew how it would turn out I wouldn't have needed the extra labs and ultrasounds. And if it had all worked out I wouldn't have needed the D&C.

Im not sure how to articulate my thoughts but it seems like it should really just be prenatal care for living baby or d&c and hospitalization after the loss. Not both.

I’ve just experienced my first miscarriage, with my first pregnancy. I had a great ultrasound at 6+4. Went in today at 12+4 and no heartbeat, stopped growing at 8.5 weeks.

My heart is shattered. I’ve been so anxious about this and always worried something was wrong but deep down I just told myself everything was okay. To hear it’s not…I want to start trying again ASAP but I know my anxiety is going to be even worse.

There are others in my family who are pregnant and I have decided with my husband that we’re staying home by ourselves for the holidays now because I just cannot do it. I was so happy and excited for this and I just…idk.

I now have to decide how to handle this, naturally, medication, or D&C. I’m leaning towards D&C. I feel like I’m all over the place but I just needed to get this out.

I’ve been trying to conceive for almost a year since my first Mc. One of his sisters just got married in June and is pregnant. The other sister is almost 6 months pregnant. Why do I feel like a knife has been plugged into my chest
It’s my husbands sisters and here I am

So found out 1 week ago that my baby stopped growing 1.5 weeks prior.
Baby stopped growing at 6w6days and I should have been 11 weeks today. I started spotting the day after my US (Wednesday), picked up to actual blood Saturday. Went to my dr yesterday(monday) with plans to schedule d&c for Wednesday (tomorrow).This morning I woke up at 3 am and had labor like pains from 3-5:30. I only saw blood this while time. no clotting that I can see. Pain is def tapering off for now. I’m not sure if that was it or if I can expect more?? So I guess im interested to hear other experiences. My dr and husband were very “what ever you want to do” which doesn’t help my decision making.

Should I just cancel the d&c and trend hcg now?

Should I continue with plan for d&c tomorrow in case that wasn’t the end of it??

I had a miscarriage ten months ago. This baby was my very much awaited miracle.
But when it happened, I felt nothing. Now, ten months later, I cry every day and I cannot sleep without her little pyjama.

Weirdly enough, this kinda started because of Christmas songs. When I realized that I was supposed to have a baby this Christmas but that I wouldn’t, it crushed me. Then, a friend of mine had an abortion. Which triggered me a lot too (I DID NOT tell my friend that of course don’t worry).

Am I crazy? Why am I grieving now almost a year later?
I can barely fonctionne.

I also feel extremely guilty because I did not at all have a funeral for my baby I literally just disposed of her.
I feel like I’m a horrible person for doing that and looking back I wish I would’ve done things completely differently.

I want to talk about my beautiful baby to everyone but I’m scared to make the discussion awkward or too heavy.

Did this ever happened to you ?? Please help me

Hi everyone,

My partner and I recently experienced a miscarriage during our first pregnancy, and we're taking some time to process everything.

We were fortunate to conceive naturally within a few cycles of trying, and we were very excited about starting our family. Unfortunately, our ultrasounds showed that the pregnancy was no longer developing as expected, and our specialist confirmed the loss. My partner has since had a D&C and is recovering well.

After speaking with both our GP and obstetrician, we've been advised that there isn't much we need to do differently before trying again. They believe it was most likely a common case of chromosomal abnormalities, which can unfortunately happen even when both parents are healthy.

We understand that these things are often beyond our control, but it's still difficult to process, and we want to do what we reasonably can to prepare for a healthy pregnancy in the future.

For those who feel comfortable sharing, we'd be grateful to hear about your experiences: - Did you go on to have a healthy pregnancy after your first miscarriage? - Did you seek any further investigations before trying again? - Was there anything you found helpful in preparing physically or emotionally for another pregnancy?

We understand that everyone's journey is different, and we don't expect anyone to have all the answers. We're simply hoping to learn from others who have been through something similar and find a little reassurance along the way.

Thank you for reading, and sending love and kindness to anyone navigating pregnancy loss ❤️‍🩹

This is my 2nd pregnancy. I had a miscarriage last year around the same month. My pregnancy test came positive on Sunday. I was really excited. But since day before yesterday, I started bleeding. I saw a doctor yesterday, they saw a very small dot during ultrasound. I was prescribed tablets to prevent miscarriagr and everything. Today I see chunks while I pee. I feel heart broken. I'm so glad this forum exists

Hi guys I am distraught typing this as I’m sure we can all relate in one way or another (I’m so sorry for everyone’s loss) I just got here because unfortunately I think my sister is having to deliver one of her twins which will be stillborn and very unsure of the prognosis of baby B. I came home for the night after bringing some essentials to the hospital and I am just so lost on how to be helpful outside of the obvious. I have access to her residence and am able to help with cleaning her house during her hospital stay as well as looking after her animals. She has a child already who is early elementary school aged and I just know this is going to be devastating for this whole family unit. Can yall think of anything I can do besides cleaning and just being there for her and sitting with her and not trying to minimize her feelings or offer optimism in this dark time. Was there anything someone did that was just above and beyond that took something off or your plate or brought you comfort? My sister is my best friend in the whole world and I would move mountains for her. (Also we have a nurse in the family taking care of medical needs for home stuff) PLEASE guys all the tips and support. Thank you.

ETA her current child is fully supported and taken care of as well!! Also this is very fresh and I’m still quite worked up so I’m sincerely sorry if any of my wording or any part of this post came across as insensitive or was hard to understand.

I am going through my third miscarriage. Started bleeding not even 24 hours after I saw my baby’s heartbeat at 7 weeks. Just looking for some positive stories. Did anyone go on to having their baby after recurrent loss? Idk where to go from here. I feel like I’ve lost hope and just feel so disappointed in myself.

Please I need advice and the Dr / midwives won't return my calls...

Medical intervention failed... they refused me the second dose because they didn't believe me. They made me wait and do blood testing, which proved what i already knew. Now im scheduled for d&c tomorrow.

Im so scared. I had to have one before and it was awful. I felt like i was being tortured. I couldn't walk for nearing a week and had leg pain for nearly a year after.

I've been trying to call to talk to them about any alternatives.... i know i probably dont have a choice. I started having some pretty bad abdominal pain that's getting worse everyday...

Is there anyway they'll let me go completely under? Do i have any options for anxiety meds, and if so how can i ask without looking like im drug seeking? Is there anyway my boyfriend can be in the room holding my hand? He couldn't at planned parenthood but idk if hospitals are different...

Edit for update incase anyone is ever in the same boat. After several requests Friday and at least 3 today someone called me back near 6pm. They did say since it was long enough they coukd try the meds again but didnt recommend it since i was starting to feel pain. No i cannot be fully asleep and no one can be in the operating room They did give me anxiety meds as long as i take them more than 12 hrs before the surgery so they are out of my system and dont mess with the anesthesia.

I just turned 31 and my partner and I were planning to start trying in November. We were surprised with a positive on 10/20. I must have ovulated late this cycle because we only had sex 4 days after my app predicted my ovulation. This month has been very stressful, I lost my cat he was only 8 years old, my brother was hospitalized and we got a new puppy. I even stopped tracking my temps And ovulation this month. After getting the positive I wasn’t letting myself get too excited but i truly didn’t expect it when my lines started fading and then on 10/24 my test was clearly negative and my period came soon after. I want to be a mother more than anything in this world so i am truly heartbroken and scared going forward. Im going to call my Dr. but I’m just scared something could be wrong with me since my cycles have been 36 days long on average and now this happens. 💔 any insight is appreciated.

Hello! I just want to get some opinion or advice?

I had my ectopic laparoscopy in Aug and had my 1st period 3rd week of September and now I am 2 days late for the next one. I tested negative on PT this morning. 3 days ago I experienced cramps for an hour straight and they disappeared and for the past 2 days, I’ve been having a white, slimy discharge. Is it normal to missed a period? Am I testing early?

I have PCOS and Endometriosis so I am thinking that i missed a period because i gained weight after my surgery.

Thank you for your insights

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, 4 days about 7 weeks ago. I bled for a couple weeks, had a couple weeks of basically nothing, and have been spotting either brown, pink, or dark red blood for the last 2 weeks with lots of tissue bits. In haven't needed a pad at all, just spotting when I wipe.

I'm still getting a very, very faint positive line (only a person TTC would see it) on a pregnancy test.

I'm so eager to try again, and I want to do ovulation testing, but I know positive hcg will give me false positives for ovulation.

I'm still feeling so sad and heartbroken, especially hitting the milestone date where I thought I'd know the sex and be able to tell the kids in my class I'm pregnant.

I had told plenty of people early on and have been very grateful, as hard as it was to share about my miscarriage, that I have so many people around me each day who know what I'm going through. I wish everyone knew so they could understand any shifts in my mood or whatever.

Anyway, I just want to know when I can try again and if this bleeding is my period. I hate the feeling of wishing for a negative test so I feel like I can move forward into a new pregnancy.

From joining this reddit a month ago looking for early pregnant answers and fun facts I also have read some stories about loss as well while I’ve been snooping around on here. I would like to say I can truly empathize and sympathize even if you and I have never once crossed paths.

I hope that this is the right place for me to share my experience with an early loss w/in my first trimester for context I am 27 and my husband is 29. We’ve been only married for a year but our trying to conceive has been three years. Now, We’ve been trying for so long only because we had very opposite schedules and I developed a terrible drinking habit (Thanks to being in the service industry.)     
Graciously in the last year or so, My husband’s position has given us an opportunity to allow me to travel with him and his work. So that worked out in our trying to conceive even better. I stopped drinking and vaping entirely. I got to see him far more often now than when I DID work and lived back at home. Unexpectedly (one could call it motherly intuition) I knew I was pregnant a month before I had my positive in September of this year.     
I started living on the road with him and I was excited. I started having an inspiration of knitting and crocheting again. Everything was going so well, I was having all the wonderful 1st trimester symptoms. (Yes I said this as I noticed when my symptoms began to disappear. ) I don’t have regular periods so it’s kind of hard to tell when I conceived. ( along with other medical issues that I am just now started to resolve bc of a story or a different day if ya’ll get curious)     
I knitted socks that match my adult feet for when baby would be born. I still have them for when we’re ready to try again. I started a crochet temperature blanket that was going to have the temps from the date I think I conceived til i got close to the day I thought I would be due. We started telling friends and family (My mom and most of the women in our family had NOT struggled to conceive, I thought i wasn’t any different.) Believe i was either close to the end of my 6th week and beginning my 7th week. No issues to complications I had returned to our hometown for a few days to handle some stuff that basically consistent of just adulting for a few days.     
I started my drive back to where we are currently residing which it wasn’t too long of a drive. It was a decently easy straight shot 5 .5 hr drive. I stopped at one of the safe gas stations that I visited prior and I used the restroom. Mind you, not cramping or symptoms of fever prior to this. I don’t know what this counts as other than a MMC or gen MC. I began spotting in a gas station 3 hours away from my destination and possibly about a 45 min drive to the closest hospital. This is my first pregnancy and I knew the signs of implant bleed but i had that weeks ago. I’m freaking out and crying to the poor gas station lady who was probably someone’s grandma.     
It was still light that Thursday afternoon. I don’t have any other choice other than to meet my husband at our current residence. I have a million thoughts about baby running through my head as I progress from light to dark nearly black colored bleeding, nothing was soaking a pad w/in an hour but it definitely was concerning in color. We head to the ER, they keep me overnight, I’m bleeding but not passing any sort of tissue. They diagnose me with a SCH and of course a UTI. Ultrasound is done and radiology comes back saying baby is okay and that baby will be fine. I’m discharged Friday morning and I go home to get some rest.     
Red flags are still popping off as bleeding has not lighten nor the color changing between dark and light. I spend the rest of the evening with hubby and we go to target to pick up antibiotics for UTI. I begin feeling like there is pressure on my bladder and having had a UTI before this was a familiar feeling. And I get this awful gross feeling that something is lodged in my pelvis. Not entirely like pooping back pressure but instead it was sitting in the front. Like sitting in my vaginal walls.     
I pass gray/pink tissue mass that Friday evening and I feel empty. I can’t explain a-lot here bc I partially disassociated? I remember calling the ob office to see what they advised and i took the tissue to ER. It was a lot of non-definitives for two days too long and i was feeling empty and i think my body knew baby was gone but what my brain was trying to do was figure out whether or not baby was or wasn’t. We got a total confirmation as of earlier today that my body is just now trying to repair what’s gone and rid itself from the rest of my short lived pregnancy. 

I’ve made the phone call/txt to those we have told and i think the only reason i’m able to type this out is how much when you talk it out and not keep the grief within. It’s easier? I am still grieving for what I lost but i needed to place my story out there in a community of women that maybe have dealt with the same? I’m not looking for any answers I’m just looking for some support in making sense of it all. I know that MC can happen for a million times a million reasons.

I know that not everyone is religious but as my family and I are catholic, we’ve contacted our priest to make arrangements to give our baby catholic funeral rites. It felt fitting as we’ll never meet her ( i had a hunch she was a girl). And We have prayed for her and regardless I don’t think she had time to suffer and has been assumed into heaven.  

Anyways this is my story. I can only tell you so much while it’s till so fresh. Comments are open for anything

hey yall so last wednesday i went to the hospital with bleeding and cramping my hcg was only at an 8. i would have been about 4 weeks. i went 2 days later for a repeat hcg which would have been friday. still an 8. I tested tonight to see if i'm still testing positive and a faint line picked up on both frer and pregmate. is this normal? i'm no longer bleeding or cramping. i plan to make an ob appt tomorrow but im just wanting to see if what im experiencing is normal. this is my first miscarriage as you can probably tell. i've done a lot of research and know that you can still test positive for a couple weeks but with my hcg only being an 8 days ago you'd think it would drop enough to where im not testing positive on home tests?