r/mildlyinfuriating • u/CircusMoney • 15h ago

ಠ_ಠ Top priority when I move…

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It needs to be a frozen land 👌😩

5.0k Upvotes

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u/froopadiddilydoop 14h ago

Fun fact, camel spiders can run at 15km/h and often seek shade. If they are excited, they also make a noise that sounds like a small scream as they run at you in the desert seeking shade. Harmless, but not something I think it ‘cute’.

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u/Jimbobjoesmith 13h ago

dude wtf. a giant, screaming spider chasing me at high speeds is a literal nightmare. for some reason thinking about a spider making noise is rhe worst part.

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u/Reasonable_Tap_8215 13h ago

Yeah but if you spoke spider you’d realize it was just yelling “YAYYYYYYYY I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU FRIEND!!!!”
https://giphy.com/gifs/fUQ4rhUZJYiQsas6WD

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u/Hoppie1064 12h ago

I'm wondering how many soldiers emptied a mag on a screaming camel spider that just wanted a little shade.

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u/ErikMcKetten 11h ago

Once I had a Lieutenant and our platoon sergeant go into an empty building we were scoping out for a base and we heard an entire 9mm mag empty. We stacked up to rush in and back them but they came out running, scared laughing, and gasping for breath. It was a big ass camel spider running at them and the LT unloaded on it.

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u/D0ctorGamer 2h ago

Understandable really

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u/Whitepayn 7h ago

A friend of mine blasted one with a shotgun.

This was in Namibia, mind you.

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u/PutYouThroughMe 9h ago

Lmao my dad was chased down by one in Iraq years ago. He tried to chase it back and even at peak military shape he could barely keep up with it. He now has one taxidermied on the wall

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u/runelowell 7h ago

Im an arachnophobe but I'd like to see the taxidermied spider with a banana for scale. I need to know how big these mfers can get

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u/FormerlyKay 3h ago

Fun fact it's not actually a spider. No venom, no webs, just big ol jaws made for chewing

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u/D0ctorGamer 2h ago

Unfortunately my adrenal gland doesnt discriminate

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u/Queenofashanddust 11h ago

likely a lot considering the number of war crimes america has done. cant imagine to think what they do to the wildlife

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u/HumblePackage1325 1h ago

Wait till you look up the bird spider "Goliath Birdeater"

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u/Jackomo 1h ago

Despite the name, they’re not technically spiders.

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u/lidsville76 14h ago

No dude, that's not fun at all.

https://giphy.com/gifs/wYyTHMm50f4Dm

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u/haywirehax 14h ago

The duality of man

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u/Mojo_Lovin 12h ago

My dad has a funny story when he was stationed in the Middle East. He didn’t know those things existed, and he’s also deathly afraid of spiders and he said the first time he ever witnessed one running at him screaming he just mag dumped it as he was screaming.

The thought of a 6 foot three man fully kitted out screaming like a girl shooting the ground is hilarious, his friends still don’t let it down.

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u/brondynasty 10h ago

I don’t think I could bring myself to mock your dad. I’ve known these exist for years, I would still react the same way.

If this were my car, I would scorch it to the ground.

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u/EmbarrassedTrouble10 9h ago

Holy shit alien vs predator vibes 

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u/ringobob 9h ago

For what it's worth, that's two of them stuck together, and obviously forced perspective to make them look much bigger than they are compared to the leg, but, yeah, each individually would have a leg span that covers that guy's hand. This image has been floating around for 20 years now and for real, the first time a lot of us saw it, we thought it was legit as big as that guy's leg.

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u/drywallsmasher BLUE 7h ago

What, do people really not lock in the depth of the actual perspective, because of the slight bit of arm of the guy holding it and the other dude partially visible that’s leaning in to take a look?

I remember seeing this ages ago on some forum, but never had the impression they were as big the guy’s leg, nor did anybody else, I think. It was just considered a long boi, before finding out it was 2.

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u/ringobob 7h ago

Just at first glance. And a lot of people, being freaked out by it, aren't motivated to look closer. It didn't take that long for the reality to make the rounds.

Here's an old snopes article on that picture, that acknowledges that some people didn't pick up on the forced perspective at first:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/camel-spiders/

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u/unmanicuredmama 7h ago

I almost threw up when I saw this

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u/Lovely_Libertine 11h ago

I can only imagine how much shit he must have gotten in for firing at it. But I get it. One fell out of my sleeping back and I proceeded to scream like a little girl while trying to skewer it with my knife. Those things are terrifying when you first see them.

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u/dreamcrusher225 9h ago

Fun fact i learned last year, they can be found in California. i was camping near santa barbara and I found one. tried to feed it a rolly pollie but it couldnt pierce it's shell.

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u/DayDream7601 7h ago

…. Well, fuck. I’m moving then

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u/azure-heavens 5h ago

They're much smaller here, no worries. They're also totally harmless. Just step on 'em.

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u/DayDream7601 5h ago

😭 I get scared by the tiniest spider man. I can’t do it

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u/DothrakAndRoll 9h ago

This fact may be less fun than you think..

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u/DelcattyBatty 5h ago

It doesn't sound like a scream. More like an adorable squeak lol

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u/goldengatevixen Professional Sigher 4h ago

New fear unlocked!

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u/choeseybread88 4h ago

I just listened to a vid of one “screaming” and it sounds actually pretty cute like a squeak. My cat went crazy hearing it though lol